Discouraged today. Not having a good school year.

[Sherri in MI]

I'm worried that I won't be able to pull this off.  Give ds a good college prep, let alone classical education.  Our first year of high school is not going well.  We are both having a hard time this year with , distractibility, organization, making decisions and getting things done.  I went into this confidently, and my son is very very bright (I think gifted, but because we have no money I've never been able to have him tested) but our first year of high school is not going well.  I have learned that online programs for foreign language just do not work best for my son.  Online for any subject actually.  He responds better to book programs and in person tutoring.

 

I feel like I'm not getting anything accomplished, yet I'm always busy &  I feel overwhelmed.

 

I think I just can't take the stress of our financial situation anymore. Planning high school is hard and complicated enough, without constantly stressing over where I'm going to get the money for necessities, let alone books.  Ds needs a bunch of things right now, not school related.   Dh is only working part time, paid per diem, reduced mileage and no benefits.  And I'm worried about my Mom.  I'm also thinking about my future.  I have to start planning what I'm going to do after ds graduates, especially since getting a good job will mean going back to school.

 

I try to be content.  We struggle to pay the bills, but we always have enough to eat.

 

I really need in person classical support too.  We've been going to the same co-op for years and I love everyone there, but it's just for enrichment & it's very eclectic.  We don't share the same educational philosophy.  it's our social support and PE & Art support.  I go to a different co-op for Spanish.

 

Only a couple of us are doing classical - some of them started a CC group this past Fall, but just for elementary.  I like CC for elementary, but I'm not sure I really like their high school program. 

 

I wish there was a WTM in person co-op.  But if there was, I'm sure I couldn't afford it.

 

i feel like I'm doing this alone & without resources.  And I worry he's behind.  In terms of bright, college bound students.  And I'm not creating a very enriching environment at home.  He only has 3 years of homeschool left.  I want to make them to be really good:  culturally, academically, spiritually & socially enriching.  And prepare him well for college.  But ill equipped to that at this level.  It takes money, even if it's just for gas to get to the free day at the museum.

 

Oh - and for some strange reason, in high school, our homeschool group stops having field trips for the students & just has social events.  Which are fun, and important, but I'd like to see educational field trips as well.

 

And today I have to go pick up my husband at the airport in a snow storm.  I have to take money from the food money to put gas in his vehicle to go pick him up.

 

 

 

 

[melmichigan]

I wish I had words of advice but my oldest is in 8th.   Teaching teens is hard and there are plenty of days I'm overwhelmed.  I'm sorry you are struggling.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

((( Sherri )))  I understand the best I can.  If you searched some of my old posts you would see some of the difficulties that I've gone through.  Some of the same struggles you describe in your post.  In fact, I am now working 2 part time jobs to ease our money problems.

 

Despite several years of attempting to home school in the midst of some pretty difficult circumstances, I've managed to graduate three educated young adults.  My oldest dd, who was very sick in high school, is working two part time jobs and working on her own writing/art project with hopes of publication.  Next, dd with diagnosed LDs, has a B average at a state university while working . My oldest son is also working and has a B average at a local community college and plans to major in engineering.  I'm down to home schooling my youngest now.

 

There were SEVERAL years where I thought we were completely failing!  But the end result: confident, educated, well-read, well-spoken, valuable, hard-working employees.  These kids are regularly asked to work extra hours (make more money) because of their work ethic, productivity levels, and cheerful personalities.

 

It is March. Everyone feels like a failure in March.

 

Don't worry about what you have not gotten done or if you are behind. 

 

Do you need to take a break? Even just one day of staying in pajamas, drinking tea, and watching movies can help you feel a bit more refreshed to tackle the problems on a day that you feel better.

 

What about school?  Read a novel, watching some documentaries, muddle through a few math lessons for the rest of March. Then, re-plan the remainder of your school year. Don't go back to the old plan.... but , make a new plan using the materials you have on hand.

 

((( hugs hun )))

[MomatHWTK]

Looking at your post, it seems to me that you have set too many goals with the result of not achieving any of them to your satisfaction.  I would step back and prioritize with an eye toward absolute minimums. 

 

Since college prep is probably the highest priority, I would set out clearly what I needed to achieve each year for a solid transcript.  Then I would figure out the most economical way to achieve those goals.  Extras, field trips, classics would all have to follow as available. 

 

Now that you know computer based education is not a favorite, you may actually be able to save $.  You can probably find language courses that are text/audio based free online or at your library.  Continue with your core classes and for classical education go with free Coursera lectures, videos from your library or just have your student read the classical books without lecture/output requirements.

 

Slow down, don't panic, get the first things done first.  :grouphug:

[Pepper Potts]

 

It is March. Everyone feels like a failure in March.

 

Don't worry about what you have not gotten done or if you are behind. 

 

Do you need to take a break? Even just one day of staying in pajamas, drinking tea, and watching movies can help you feel a bit more refreshed to tackle the problems on a day that you feel better.

 

What about school?  Read a novel, watching some documentaries, muddle through a few math lessons for the rest of March. Then, re-plan the remainder of your school year. Don't go back to the old plan.... but , make a new plan using the materials you have on hand.

 

 

:iagree:  and sending  :grouphug:

[katilac]

The first year of high school is tough for a lot of us, I think - college starts looming! Plus you have a lot of stressful stuff going on. 

 

If you're worried that he might be behind, have him take a practice ACT or SAT. It's not a perfect gauge but will give you a rough idea of how close he is to where you want him to be. My kids both scored well on the practice test, and it was nice to know that. If he doesn't score well, you need to know that too. 

 

Is a part-time job a possibility for you? It will take time from schooling, yes, but it may well be worth it if it eases the money worries. It may not seem worth it for limited hours at possibly minimum wage, but my opinion is that any money is better than no money. Making enough to drive to field trips and buy books would reduce stress. 

 

I would also start exploring options in case you do need to put him into school - if it has to be done, it's better to have all the information ahead of time. It's hard to think about giving up the homeschooling dream, but sometimes you're forced to - and, either way, your son will get an education and have the chance for a happy life. There are lots of ways to be happy. 

 

Good luck to you. 

[FloridaLisa]

I think we all go into this with an ideal of what our homeschooling will look like.  And then...there's life.  Errands and keeping up with the house; unexpected expenses and major life events; lack of opportunities, frustrations with curricula choices and teens who don't embrace the plans we so carefully laid out on paper.

 

Also, for women, I've noticed it's hard to compartmentalize and so stress and worries from one area flow into the other areas.  And that can be super distracting and discouraging!  So, for me, I have to really try to partition my time.  If you need to retool for a job, set time aside for that a few afternoons a week or few hours each afternoon.  The same thing for your house -- I do most of my cleaning and yard stuff on Saturday and then it's done (for the most part) and no worries about my kitchen floor during the week.   Parsing out the various duties I have and setting aside time for each one really helps me not become overwhelmed by all of it all at once. I don't do this perfectly, but I'm learning as life has changed dramatically for me also in the last 3 years, that I *have* to compartmentalize or I'll just become paralyzed by it all.  

 

As for your co-ops, this is the time to make decisions for next year.  If they aren't super productive for you or meeting your needs, rethink whether it's worth a day out and time invested.  Instead, you could work on putting together your own group for those educational field trips you want or an IRL science group or a lit discussion. Look around and ask families that fit your educational paradigm. You don't need a ton and you don't need an already-organized group.  Just one or two families meeting for a class can really help with the dynamics of homeschooling through the high school years. 

 

As for money, I know it can be super frustrating to battle this but there ARE ways to get an AMAZING education without spending enormous amounts on outside classes.  I was just looking at Melissa Wiley's blog, and was so impressed with all of the MOOCS that she uses for herself and her kids. All free.  Many libraries have great collections that can be accessed free.  This board has had an ongoing thread with tons and tons of free homeschool resources. 

 

I know it can be discouraging, but this is a good time of year to take stock of what's working and change up what isn't. Use your discouragement to reassess what is working and what isn't and plan out specific changes.   And don't get locked into thinking that you have to wait until next year to make changes.  We are not tied into an August-May rigid schedule and, if you're able, I would go ahead and change some of the things you aren't happy about now.  Ha- I just ordered handwriting for my 1st grader because I hadn't gotten around to it and here it is March!  And my 9th grader started biology 2 months ago after finishing his football and basketball seasons because he just did not have the time before.  I'm not always unconventional in our timing, but it's important to realize that you have the freedom as a homeschooler to change midstream and do not need to wait until next August. 

 

Lisa

 

 

[elegantlion]

:grouphug:  I get the being tired, overwhelmed, and broke part, and not feeling like you're doing enough. Ds did a practice ACT this year and it was helpful to me to see where he was. 

 

We're too broke to add a lot that I want for ds, but many of the MOOCs or open courses can be used as a supplement and they keep expanding offerings. Education portal (more supplemental) and Saylor.org (could be full courses) have some courses put together that might be helpful. 

[PeterPan]

You've already gotten the personal help stuff, so I'll just speak to the distractibility and foreign language.  The answer to the first is structure, more structure, much more structure.  You have to break things down into parts for him, make the plan, create the checklist to implement the plan, and make sure his butt implements the plan.  It will require more from you probably than you think it ought to, but do it.

 

For the foreign language, he probably needs to study an astonishingly lot more than ANYBODY else in the class.  Like take whatever the class says and triple it, and he'll probably be where he wants to be.  I'm not joking.  

 

I know it's hard.  We've been doing some suck up, readjust, make sure you're on track with the plan kind of talks here too.  If he doesn't have a weekly checklist with EVERYTHING on it, make one.  If you don't know what the foreign language assignments are, sit down and have him show you.  Unless the class itself is horrible, the more likely reality is he needs a lot more help to implement it.  I actually had to sit down and make Quizlet cards for my nut case dc, because she thought LOOKING AT A PAGE OF WORDS WAS STUDYING.   :svengo:   Someday she'll figure out she can do it for herself.  She bucked me high and mighty over Quizlet, but it's helping.

 

Yes it's hard, but all is not lost.  No one in school would hold his hand either.  If you had tons of money floating around, you could hire an EF (Executive Function) coach.  They're $150 an hour around here.   :w00t:  Since you don't have that lying around (nor do I), WE become the EF coaches.  We have to break everything into parts, create the structure, teach them to work within the structure, and then, as they mature (not now, over the next couple years) teach them how to create their own structure.  But that's why it's so hard, and it's ok that it's hard.  If not you, who would do it?  

 

Have some hot chocolate or whatever bolsters your courage and sit down and work through it.  Even if you've screwed up an entire semester of something, you have the summer (another semester!) to fix it.  You can do it.   :) 

[Anacharsis]

If getting books is a struggle, you might appreciate the Internet Archive (http://www.archive.org). While it started as a project to produce a back-up copy of the Internet, it has also become a home for a large number of public domain works; a free Google Books. Almost all of the classics are in the public domain -- it seems as though everyone recognizes that they are part of a heritage that should not be constrained. If you have an older computer that sturggles with PDFs, there is also the original public domain site, Project Gutenberg (http://www.gutenberg.org) -- many of their works are in .txt format, which can be read by basically anything capable of displaying text. Sites like these provide the opportunity for a classical education free of charge to anyone with an internet connection, regardless of their location or financial status, provided that they are willing to put the time and intellectual effort into them.

[Arch at Home]

We have to break everything into parts, create the structure, teach them to work within the structure, and then, as they mature (not now, over the next couple years) teach them how to create their own structure.

 

Distractability is definitely a problem at our house. DD has so many great ideas on what she would like to do; unfortunately there isn't enough time to do them all if you also have to do school work. Lately I have been working with my DD to break things down, make the list, and stick to the list. DD is good now at using her planner but she is not detailed enough with her entrees. Every day we talk about her strategy for the day, what does she need to accomplish by when to work with the rest of her plans. Often we will have this conversation 3 times, morning, noon, and evening. Once she has her hand written list she is getting pretty good at executing though there is at times the need to direct her back to her list.

 

Sarah

[Nan in Mass]

I found that at that age, my children needed a more concrete educational goal than "get a good education" or "get into college".  They also needed to see how they compared to other students, but I had to be cautious about comparing or they gave up rather than trying hard.  I used taking community college classes a concrete goal.  We worked on study and organizational skills with that in mind, and we aimed at "passing" the math, reading, and writing placement tests.  This was not MY educational goal for them, of course.  Mine was much higher.  But it worked well at the 14yo/15yo stage.  Do you have any free dual-enrollment options?  I found mine needed an absolute TON of handholding at that age in order to learn study skills.  And I still think we didn't do enough.  Ug.  You may need to be content with making less progress through his coursework while you focus on study skills.  It takes forever to walk a reluctant teenager through a chapter of a high level science or history textbook properly, taking notes, making flashcards, answering questions, etc.  Working on writing skills and raising reading speed also take time.  And it takes a horrible amount of oversight to force a reluctant student to break up large tasks into smaller ones and schedule record them in a planner.  We did ridiculously detailed checklists for awhile.  It included things like date and subject on paper, show me plan for paper, fix it, show me second plan, fix it, if I say it is ok write rough draft, show me, fix it, etc.  Tedious.  It is time well worth spending, though.

 

Nan

[PeterPan]

Distractability is definitely a problem at our house. DD has so many great ideas on what she would like to do; unfortunately there isn't enough time to do them all if you also have to do school work. Lately I have been working with my DD to break things down, make the list, and stick to the list. DD is good now at using her planner but she is not detailed enough with her entrees. Every day we talk about her strategy for the day, what does she need to accomplish by when to work with the rest of her plans. Often we will have this conversation 3 times, morning, noon, and evening. Once she has her hand written list she is getting pretty good at executing though there is at times the need to direct her back to her list.

 

Sarah

Yup, we use a typed weekly checklist, and things where she has flex have spots for her to write in or make notes logging what she did.  Without the list, we fall apart.  

 

We've read so much that homeschooled high school kids should be independent that we think we're doing something wrong if we have to come in and provide this kind of structure and teaching.  

[ks-sunflower]

Ambleside has a week by week checklist for reading assignments for each year - they even have "lite" years with less reading. Maybe this would be a good lit/history/humanities curriculum that is all "checklisted" out for your ds.Also, I think a good portion of the readings are available in the library or online. I never used this but it seems very well organized and supported with a forum.

 

http://amblesideonline.org/curriculum.shtml#years

 

 Also Bob Jones has Iowa Tests that you can administer as a home school I think.

http://www.bjupress.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/SearchView?type=product&q=iowa%20tests&size=20&start=0&sort=score

This might be cheaper than the ACT? You could aslo start with levels below grade level.

 

Good Luck!

 

 

[Jean in Wisc]

The engineering school my boys attend (state university) will not accept a high school language credit from a homeschooler. (Well, my boys did not have to take it in college, but that is because I went in and argued that since I majored as an undergrad in Spanish from their school and was a certified Spanish teacher, they should accept my credits. LOL). Any way, do find out if this is a problem. No need to take the classes at home and then take them again in college. FWIW...

 

I remember slimming down the classes I had my kids take in high school. We did not cover as much as I had thought we would. I worried so much over my 1st child, who got a 4.0 in college. Made me a bit less antsy for my next 2 kids. The basics are good. What I taught in writing was a very good stepping stone into their English classes, and the teachers still acknowledge them as good writers. The strong "basics" of writing enabled them to learn what the profs wanted them to learn--I did not have to teach college level writing (that is what English 101 and 102 is all about!).

 

My boys were not math geniuses. They had to take precalc in college. I have a friend who is an engineering prof who says he is bothered by the number of kids who come in with a high school calculus coarse who do not know algebra well enough--they end up taking lower level maths over again. He would rather they know what they know very well than to push through and have to go back over it again. Yes, if my boys had had more math earlier, they might have gotten through school a semester earlier, but I kept chugging along as best as I could--I gave what I could give.

 

They very quickly pass the science and math that we teach them.What we teach is good, but some of what they cover 3 or 4 weeks into physics class outstrips anything the high school textbook covers. I have a friend who says, "Do high school in high school and college in college." I like that. I don't know how that would work if you are trying to get in to more elite schools, but our state university system is good, and my kids were able to do well without all the high school extras.

 

Just giving you some feedback on life after homeschool here. We moms tend to stress out a lot, but if we give them a good work ethic and the desire to do well, and a strong basic education, they will study hard and do what they have to do to make it work. They will have to take responsibility for their college years and do what they have to do to reach their goals.

 

Just sayin',

Jean (mom to a May graduate in Mechanical Engineering and a sophomore in Software Engineering)

 

P.S. Do you have a list of materials you want to use next year?

[1Togo]

Jean in Wisc - I 'liked' your post, but really, I love it.

 

OhElizabeth - So true about the time for foreign languages.  Some students will need to study much more than others, and they have to accept that even when friends seem to be breezing through school and have oodles of free time.  This can apply for other subjects as well.

 

Arch at Home & Oh - Yup, yup and yup.  Planner, planner.  Structure. Support.