Funny Thanksgiving stories? This is the place!

[Halftime Hope]

Yesterday we:

 

• burned the pie crust leftovers when none of heard the kitchen timer go off, although we were sitting at the table eating, not fifteen feet away from the oven.  (We must have been having a good time.)  We had company coming over after dinner, so the house smelled smoky for them.  :glare:
• broke a cracked pitcher from my grandmother since dd tried to make hot tea in it, just like I had done when I cracked it.  She was about to go into full panic mode, but I started laughing and told that I had cracked it doing exactly the same thing.
• and finally, I lost the top pie crust.  I made two crust balls and properly refrigerated them, and later rolled out one and put it in the pie pan.  About an hour later I finally got the apples ready and went to the frig to pull out the second ball of pie crust, but the pie crust ball was AWOL.  I searched the entire fridge, the freezer, the pantry, the top of every counter and every horizontal surface in all the adjacent counties.  Nothing.  No pie crust anywhere.  I finally called in the pro (my youngest ds) and asked him to look everywhere and see if he could spot it, while I went and dried my hair.  Sure enough five minutes later, he started yelling in triumph from the kitchen. He had found the wrapped piecrust ball in the kitchen trash can--I had apparently swept it off the counter when I swept up the crumpled wax paper sheets that I had used to roll out the other crust.   So now, this will always be remembered as the year Mom threw away the pie crust.   (That was better than making the pie with a streusel topping, though, since the apples already had a lot of sugar.)

 

 

 

[RoughCollie]

I made 2 pumpkin pies without sugar.

 

I learned that the puppy we are keeping for the week can counter surf by walking along the entire length of counter and around the island on his hind legs.  He looks so graceful when he does it! He's too short to reach anything on the counter, but he sure is cute!

[KatieJ]

Between my DIL and myself, we boiled the gravy over 5 times.  The pot I was using was too small and it boiled over, so I got out a bigger one.   That was too small. 21nd boil over. I got a third and started to move some into the 3rd pot, 3rd boilover.  I moved onto something else and my DIL had several more before we finally got it done and on the table.  These are the times I am thankful for the easy clean up of my glass top stove!

 

BTW.gravy was delicious.

[Cinder]

I mentioned this in the other thread but it fits better here. Dh was whipping the cream for the pies but it wasn't turning out right at all. He's whipped cream plenty of times so he knows what he's doing. But this time it just wasn't whipping properly--it was foaming. And the foam was getting bigger and higher and threatening to overflow the very large bowl that he usually whips the cream in. Turns out he had mistakenly grabbed the half-and-half. To his credit I'd bought a different brand of half-and-half that comes in the same size carton as the whipping cream we usually get. So he just grabbed the right sized carton without reading the label. The half-and-half de-foamed so I was able to save that but now it's vanilla flavored.

[bodiesmom]

While in the silent midst of enjoying our dinner, we suddenly heard about a 5 second "machine gun" type of sound coming from my 3 year old nephew. As we all erupted into laughter, he quizzically looked around the table, placed both of his hands on the table, leaned forward, and declared (enunciating every.single.syllable) "WHAT? I...just...farted!". (As in like what's the big deal?!!)

[Jeannie in NJ]

we went to extended family for dinner.  I was riding with dd and her boyfriend.  He was driving when he realized he was about to pass the turnoff to their development.  Slammed on brakes and made a hairpin turn.  I was carrying the fruit salad because the lid did not fit tight.  The salad had 4 cans of fruit juice in it which ended up all over me.  My pants were sticky the rest of the day even tho I tried to wet them down with water.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Eek, Jeannie!  

[Jean in Newcastle]

Eek, Jeannie!  I hope the boyfriend apologized profusely.  

[Halftime Hope]

we went to extended family for dinner.  I was riding with dd and her boyfriend.  He was driving when he realized he was about to pass the turnoff to their development.  Slammed on brakes and made a hairpin turn.  I was carrying the fruit salad because the lid did not fit tight.  The salad had 4 cans of fruit juice in it which ended up all over me.  My pants were sticky the rest of the day even tho I tried to wet them down with water.

 

What can ya do?!  It was memorable, 'eh?

[TeacherZee]

We had a baby handover malfunction. Most of the day we were very good at keeping track of who was on baby duty but at one point after the dessert someone dropped the ball. The baby is 9 months old a champion crawler. She found the plates with melted ice cream that her older sister and cousins had left under the table we were using for the food. She was discovered because she let out a self satisfied HAHA :D

 

We also had smoked pie because no one thought to clean out the mess the turkeys had left in the oven.

[unsinkable]

This is from another thread and a prior Thanksgivng but it still make me laugh.

 

Quoting myself:

 

 

 

Don't be like someone who VOLUNTEERED to bring sweet potatoes and then sat down and began eating Thanksgiving dinner without coughing up the sweet potatoes.

 

And THEEEEEEENNNNN, when the hostess asked, "Where are the sweet potatoes?" responded, "Hand me my purse," and pulled out a 3 lb. can of candied yams from the purse. She passed the can to the hostess who asked, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

 

To which someone replied, "Just open the can and microwave them. They have their own juice."

 

I am LOLing to myself as I write this. Those were my SILs and it still kills me when I think about it. Hand me my purse! They have their own juice! :lol:

[BarbecueMom]

Well, I missed this yesterday as we were with DH's family, but my mom was at my aunt's house using the electric hand mixer to make the whipped cream for the pies. The plug came out of the wall, so she sat the mixer down on the counter and plugged it back in, but forgot to turn it off first. Once it had power again, the mixer started spinning around on the counter, spraying whipped cream all over the kitchen (and everyone in it).

[happi duck]

I set off the smoke detector. It is the kind with a voice so we had this 'woman' saying "fire, fire, fire". It also keeps increasing in volume. I did not know that.

 

I think I accidentally used vanilla soymilk for the mashed potatoes. Ick!

[trulycrabby]

Our ChiPin jumped on the kitchen table and helped herself to Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. Someone left a plate on the table with the chair partially pushed away from it, enough for her to jump up. I came into the room and just about laughed out loud because DH was sitting in the same room on the sofa with his back turned to her watching a soccer game. Happy Dog!!! Boy, she got in trouble, but just like the true thief she is, she was non-repentent and completely happy with her accomplishment. :lol:  She had been starved when we adopted her from the pound, so she always has food issues, poor girl. :grouphug:

[Jen in NY]

I fear this may get long...

 

My dd's roommate and her friend, both from China, came to spend Thanksgiving with us. All in all we had three 'orphan' college kids added to the mix... two from my dd's school and one from my niece's school and it was wonderful.... until.....

 

Apparently there is a famous-in-China singer that grew up not very far from here that my dd's roommate worships. The guy posted something on his blog like, hey, all my Chinese peeps... come to my house for Thanksgiving, and roomie assumed he meant her. When she couldn't find an address for the party, she asked of they could just come to our house for dinner, and of course we were very happy to have them. But I guess she was thinking that if she just got to my town she'd be able to find him, because as soon as dinner was over she announced that she and her friend had an address and were heading to the party. The address was the town center of the suburb the guy is from... no residential places there. Storefronts. We tried to explain many times that no. one. lives. at. that. address. (!) but she said she had already called a cab and they would ask at a Chinese restaurant once they got there. (Um, what Chinese restaurant, and who does stuff like this??)

 

I didn't really think I could stop her from leaving... she and her friend are both adults and had taken a cab (!) from Cornell to our house (not close at all!!) even though we had offered them many choices in transportation. There were three different times people from our family could have picked them up over the three days in question, but no. So the after-dinner-cab came, and they said they would be back in time to get a ride back to Cornell with my BIL and his family (they live close to the college). They had two hours to find the place and get back. At the appointed return time, they texted to say that they hadn't found his house but they were walking to it. BIL agreed to wait one more hour.

 

45 minutes later they texted to say they had found 'the' house (later we figured out that they had been on the phone with friends in China who were googling like crazy to find them an address... any address....) and lo and behold no one was there. (I know, you're shocked, right??) And no one had been there for days, because there is fresh snow and it was pristine. They knocked on the neighbor's door and asked where he was.....?!?

 

They had walked out of the town center for miles on a curvy, basically country road with no sidewalks, wearing black from head to toe, in 17 degree weather..... to stalk this guy ....?

 

Finally my husband and daughter went to pick them up and my miffed BIL and his miffed family drove them home.

 

WEIRD.

 

I guess that story was more weird than funny, huh? Maybe next year it will seem funnier...

[OnTheBrink]

I have one relatively humorous and one poignant and one awesome story.

 

Relatively humorous: We went to a friend's house for dinner. Her adult son, who's going through the most ridiculous divorce in the history of divorces, had his infant daughter for the day. He prides himself on how his baby prefers him over every other family member. Well. All this baby needed was to see my DD and Baby's loyalties to Daddy were shot. Once DD held Baby, Baby wanted nothing to do with anyone else. Daddy tried to entice Baby with food, lovies, etc, but Baby was over Daddy and only wanted DD, even pitching a HUGE fit when Daddy tried to take her from DD's arms. Daddy was crushed! DD was amused but apologetic and the rest of us were cracking up. We have no idea what it was about DD that Baby loved so much, but it was darned hilarious to see Baby squall like a banshee when Daddy took her and then immediately shot the squall off when DD took her back!  :lol:

 

Poignant: My friend's parents were at dinner yesterday, too. Her mom has dementia and is in a nursing home. Her dad picked her mom up from the home and brought her to dinner. It was so sweet to see my friend's dad still refer to his wife as his "sweetheart" and care for her so tenderly. But the thing that brought a tear to my eye was when they were getting ready to leave and take her back to the nursing home. My friend bent down to hug her mother and her mom, with much difficulty and with  slurred speech, said,  "I love you" to my friend.  :crying:

 

And for the awesome story: After dinner, my friend and her DH were telling me how they bought 5 tickets to TSO and after buying the tickets, two of their daughters said they didn't want to go.  :svengo: So, I bought the tickets from them! Dd and I, along with my friend, her DH and her adult son (father of the baby that prefers DD!) are all going. It's going to be SO FUN! :hurray: 

[Annie G]

I worked all day Thanksgiving and dd cooked the entire meal. We're a really laid back family, and after we had dinner, we were just sitting there looking at the table and thinking about how much cleanup there was to do. Next thing I know, my kids and dd's dh are doing gravy shots.  We do not drink at all...ever...so how they ever got the idea to 'do shots' I do not know. But I'm grateful dh grabbed an ipad and recorded it all. We were all laughing pretty hysterically by the time it was over. 

 

 Dear son in law is a pastor... and he posted the video to Facebook. I hope he still has a job when he gets back home!

 

Mini dessert tasting glasses make good replacement vessels for shot glasses, btw.