Screaming Night Terrors

[BusyMum]

Last night Mr6 semi-woke in a state of utter panic. He was beside himself with terror. He panicked and trembled with fear when he saw a curtain open to the dark. He wouldn't be held. He begged and pleaded: "No! No Mummy! Please! Please! Oh Mummy! No!" He thrashed and tried to get away when his Dad prayed the Our Father whilst trying to hold him.

 

In the end I had to speak to him very briskly. I made him drink some Pamol (NZ equivalent to tylenol) then I put him into bed in our room. He was still only semi-coherent so I told him that there was nothing to be scared of as he has a guardian angel that protects him always, but that sometimes his angel needs a wee bit of extra help to keep the bad dreams away - and then I blessed him with some holy water from Lourdes that we had been given just on the weekend.

 

He immediately settled down, and started chatting coherently in his normal perky way before snuggling down and going to sleep. That freaked me out more than the screaming!

 

Anyway, he's been getting these night terrors since he was a wee tot and they come about once a month or so - always when he is either sick or overheated. I am usually very careful about how many layers he has on and often draw back the covers once he is asleep. Last night I was distracted by our tax return and didn't do it.

 

We have a very happy and stable family life and he is a normal wee lad with no traumas in his life. It breaks my heart to see him so upset and to be unable to comfort him.

 

We pray together as a family every day and are active in our practise of our faith. He has a wee statue of St Michael the archangel by his bed which we got a few years back to encourage him before bed that his guardian angel watches over his sleep.

 

Is there anything else I can do or is it just a matter or waiting till he grows out of it? My brother used to have night terrors and I am pretty sure he grew out of it but I can't remember when.

[BusyMum]

I have to take the kids down to the doctors now but I will be back later to see if any of you lovely ladies has some pearls of wisdom for me. Thanks!

[Remudamom]

A couple of mine did this, but not for that long a time. No amount of praying, holding, anything helped except a firm voice. They weren't doing it past three.

[The Governess]

My dd1 who is 4 also gets these night terrors. She is usually screaming and thrashing in her bed. I come in to try to hold her and she lets me pick her up but then immediately starts pushing me away and freaking out. She is inconsolable.

 

I'm pretty sure when this happens she isn't actually awake. I find that if I pick her up, hold her tight, take her out of her room, turn on the lights, and walk around with her a bit, talk to her, etc. then she wakes up a little and figures out what is going on. Then she'll talk to me a little bit, back to her normal self, and fall back asleep. It seems that the faster I can get her to wake up and realize what's going on, the faster it is over.

 

My dd's usually happen if she goes to bed too late or has had a busy day, is overtired, etc. I've heard that they are pretty common in little kids and aren't a sign that anything is wrong. My dd usually doesn't even remember that she was upset. If she does, she'll tell me she was scared but can't ever tell me what she was scared about. So I don't think there is any harmful, lasting effect. It seems like I am more upset by them than she is.

 

I'm interested to hear what your doctor says. Sorry you are going though this, it's so hard to see our little ones afraid and not know how to help.

 

:grouphug:

[Crissy]

My older son had night terrors until he was about ten. By then, they had tapered off to only a couple a year, though.

Too much screen time and being overly tired were definite triggers.

He was not awake, and never remembered any part of the episode once he did wake up.

I think they are more frightening for those who have to watch.

 

Hugs to you both.:grouphug:

[genie]

My daughter didn't have night terrors, but she would walk and talk in her sleep. One thing that really helped, and I've heard it helps with night terrors too, is an Epsom salt bath before bed. Magnesium gets absorbed through their skin, and that is what helps. You can also try magnesium supplements, but I haven't had to do that.

 

If you're interested in trying it, just pick up some Epsom salt in the pharmacy area of the store and start off with about 1/3 cup in the bathwater. Each night add a little more until you are up to 1 cup. I've heard that at first it can make the child a little hyper, but that's just more proof that they are magnesium deficient. That's why you start with the lower amount. My daughter would go weeks without sleepwalking, but as soon as we'd get slack with the salt baths you'd know right away because there she would be, stumbling through the house in her sleep.

 

Good luck!

[langfam]

The Chinese have a belief that night terrors in children are caused by too much rowdy, rambunctious play during the day, because they get riled up. If a child has not settled down before bed time, they could get a night terror, so quiet relaxing time before bed is reccomended. Whenever my own dc had night terrors, the only thing that calmed them down was holding them tightly and turning on the TV. I don't know why it worked, but it did. Maybe something about the light that comes from the TV is soothing.

[jmgconner]

My 4 yo has night terrors. I hold him tightly and speak calmly, even when he's fighting to get away. I find that if I agree with everything he's saying and hold on to him tightly, that he wakes up quicker. He never remembers the episode.

 

Interesting ideas about the 'why' terrors occur. I think I'll make a mental note of TV time, layers of clothing, and other clues that may help me figure out a pattern.

[PameliaSue]

Holding my kids and praying for them in tounges is the only thing that has really helped one of my dc...

Also we "Word Wash" before bed.... we read The Word/Bible.

Mostly we read in the Psalms because they are so poetic and soothing especially the KJV or NKJV. We read 5 Psalms a day plus Psalm 119 everyday. That takes you through the Psalms once a month.

 

Also we have a cd player in each room with a CD of the Psalms in each one that we play when we put them in bed, it plays to the end. The kids are usually asleep before it is done.

 

A lot of scripture and prayer basically.

[mycalling]

I had them until I was 10 or so and two of mine also have them, my daughter more so. I've read that they are caused by an immature nervous system. Mine tapered off to only occurring when I had fevers and my son's are only when he gets overheated, so I suppose that supports the nervous system theory.

 

My mom would just guard the stairs and let me do my thing. With my daughter what works is singing the song I sung to her as an infant. It's the only thing that snaps her into recognizing me and her surroundings.

[runninmommy]

My daughter had night terrors for quite a while as well. Apart from comforting her and making her feel safe we found that the temperature of the room (as you mentioned) was really important. We started keeping the room cool but more importantly we made her sleep without socks on. I know how silly this sounds but there are actually quite a few people that get night terrors and bad dreams b/c they are too hot while sleeping. Socks trap in the heat and contribute to this.

 

We also did a lot of stress management. My daughter gets them when there are a lot of changes or anxiety. Exercise helped and so did writing out her feelings through stories.

 

HTH:grouphug:

[Laurie4b]

When a child gets night terrors, they are not awake, which is why they don't respond to the things that normally comfort them. We had one son who had them occasionally for a period of time (less than a year). We were told not to try to wake him, but to just make sure that he was safe and wait it out. That actually did work better than any calming we tried to do at getting him back to sleep sooner. The ones who need the calming are the parents because it's a pretty scary thing to watch.

 

I don't think it's actually a fear thing; I think it's an overwrought neurologically system. Though I believe in spiritual forces, I don't believe that's what night terrors involve.

 

Our experience was that our son grew out of them. Focus on preventing the neurological overload rather than worrying about him being truly scared of something that is coming out in his sleep.

[Vida Winter]

My kids have had these a few times but it is rare. It is always much worse for the parent - the kids never remember it. I would just make sure the child could not hurt himself (fall out of bed, etc.) and wait it out.

 

:grouphug:

[BusyMum]

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts and for sharing your experiences. It does make me feel a bit easier knowing that others have kids who go through this too.

 

I think that for my son the key thing is the heat. It seems to make no difference if my husband gets the boys totally hyped up before bed (except that they fall asleep really fast as they are utterly worn out) or if they are given a bath and wound right down before bed. Last night's terrors may also be due to the fact that he is unwell at the moment with some kind of virus or flu.

 

I am going to try the magnesium salts in the bath. Thank you for that suggestion.

[Laura in VA]

My son had night terrors for several years and I gave him some water once only to have him choke on it because he was not really awake. He would often have his eyes wide open, but he was still asleep. He never remembered any of the terrors the next morning, but they were frightening for me to watch. He outgrew them by around 9 or 10. His occurred when he was overtired.

[Blossom'sGirl]

For about one week he kept waking up screaming and no amount of reasoning would help. All I can figure is that he had been sick earlier that week and we were giving him a sore throat medicine that had an artificial sweetener which we never normally use. I stopped using the medicine and the terrors stopped and have never returned. I don't know if it was a coincidence or not. I would rather give my kids sugar than some of that chemical stuff.

 

It is scary when it is happening.

[julesmama3]

I too have a child who has night terrors. Its funny because the 1st one she had involved mummies too! I think she had been reading an Egyptian book before bed. I seriously thought she was possessed. She kept crying and pointing at things that weren't there. Finally she woke up and was fine and went back to sleep.

 

Normally she sleep walks/talks when she goes to bed late--about an hour or so after she falls asleep. We also figured out that it happens when she has to go potty. She's walked down the hall is a stupor and then has gone back into her bedroom and peed on the floor! So now when I see her stumbling around, I sit her on the toilet!

[Julie in CA]

For my ds it went on from about age 4 to about age 9.

 

Night terrors and bedwetting often go hand-in-hand, and often there is a hereditary link.

 

An absolute trigger for my ds was tiredness. I could absolutely count on the fact that if he was over-tired, then 20-30 minutes after he fell asleep, he'd be screaming.

 

It's terrible to watch, but really not harmful to the child themselves. What it does to the other dc and the parents is a bigger issue, I think. It was definitely scary for my other 4 dc to watch, and even though my dh and I understood what was going on, it was still very disturbing to watch.

 

Making sure the afflicted dc got consistent sleep/rest was the best remedy. Once the night terror starts, the only thing to really do is wait it out and do your best to get the child back to sleep in their bed. Since they're not really awake, no amount of reasoning, explaining, or comforting will really help.

 

If the night terrors continue, do your best to be matter-of-fact about it, do what you can about the tiredness factor, and try to get a routine down in your own mind about what strategies to take when they occur.

 

Since my ds is 14 1/2 now and over the night terrors, we can laugh about it at this point. In the whole scheme of our "family story" the experience of having a child with night terrors is just an interesting/unique component of that particular ds.

 

Blessings to you as you deal with this,

Julie

[KatieJ]

My oldest son had them before he was 5. They got so bad, I called and spoke with a PA I trusted. Then I researched sleep disorders. It's been a long time, but what I remember is that sleep walking and Night Terrors are the same disorder and they run in families.

(OUr oldest daughter did quite a bit of sleep walking one winter)

It has to do with sleep levels. For some reason your body doesn't go into the deeper levels of sleep and you get stuck in that night terror, sleep walking non Rem level. It definately had to do with being over tired. When we would visit my parents, 2 hour car drive away, I would try to put off his nap til we were headed home and at an hour into the trip, he always had his sleep terror episode, which was exactly the same time into my daughters night of sleep that she would sleep walk. I had to figure out what was enough of a nap that prevented the terror epidsodes and yet not enough of a nap that he didn't want to go to bed at night. Usually he would not remember them the next day..especially if it was a short one in the car.

Mom needs to stay calm and just hold him and sooth him in whatever way works. Just keep him safe!

[Sharon H in IL]

My younger son had night terrors up until last year, none since.

 

They were triggered by being over-warm in his sleep. What worked for him was to have me calmly help him get out of bed, get a drink, and make sure he emptied his bladder. Those routine steps, and the getting out of bed, stopped the upset. He could calmly get back in bed and go to sleep, dropping off into a deep slumber immediately.

 

I hope they might be helpful for you.

[BusyMum]

Yes - once I get him back into bed he usually calms right down and goes straight to sleep leaving me with two other kids to resettle and feeling in dire need of a strong drink!

[Jean in Newcastle]

My oldest son had them before he was 5. They got so bad, I called and spoke with a PA I trusted. Then I researched sleep disorders. It's been a long time, but what I remember is that sleep walking and Night Terrors are the same disorder and they run in families.

(OUr oldest daughter did quite a bit of sleep walking one winter)

It has to do with sleep levels. For some reason your body doesn't go into the deeper levels of sleep and you get stuck in that night terror, sleep walking non Rem level. It definately had to do with being over tired.

 

I researched this too and found the same information about sleep-walking and sleep stages. My dd went through a stage where she was having 2 or 3 of them a night- every night!!! I dreaded bedtime. Her screams were so piercing that I would be sure that she was being attacked! Fortunately most of them happened before midnight (when I go to bed.) Now, both of my kids just sleepwalk.:001_huh:

[teamturner]

My ds 8 has night terrors. They started when he was a toddler and are always when he is sick, usually in the beginning of the illness. Last January when he had whooping cough, he had 2-3 night terrors a night for almost 2 weeks. It was awful. Then in February, I took him to an asthma/allergy dr. who prescribed him an inhaler type medicine for symptoms of Reactive Airway Disease (which is what they label a child while they determine if the child has asthma). I had noticed even before the whooping cough symptoms of asthma in this ds. Anyways, since he's been on the medicine, he has not been sick and only had one night terror and it was when he was really, really tired (too many late nights on vacation). When he does have them, we've found that if we can get him to drink some juice (I put it in a sippy cup so he won't spill it) he will wake up. Then we make him get up and go to the bathroom so we can make sure he's really awake. If he doesn't wake up fully he will have another one. There was a really good website for parents to report their stories and anecdotal info that I found really helpful.

 

http://www.nightterrors.org/SMF/index.php?board=3.0

 

Google "night terrors" and you'll find some good info out there. There is some evidence that they are caused by sleep apnea. My husband has sleep apnea so it would make sense that my ds might as well. But what's interesting is that while a child is sick, he would have an obstructed airway so I can see the connection in our ds. Now that he's on the medicine he is breathing much better.... so no more night terrors. That's my hypothesis. Pediatricians are no help so it's hard for parents to get real answers. I wish you well on your search for the help for your ds!

Blessings,

[Sarah CB]

My ds started having night terrors at about age 6. He would be screaming and thrashing and thought I was trying to kill him. He was in a total panic and there was no consoling him. It was very scary.

 

We prayed for him, we prayed in his room and asked God to cast out any evil from the room, we had ds pray and we talked to him about calling out to Jesus when he is afraid.

 

The night terrors stopped, but the sleep walking continued. It gets worse in times of stress (the few months following our move he was up nearly every night). He is often agitated when sleepwalking - trying to fix something or trying to find something, but he's never terrified like he was before. The fear has completely disappeared.

[BusyMum]

There was a really good website for parents to report their stories and anecdotal info that I found really helpful.

 

http://www.nightterrors.org/SMF/index.php?board=3.0

 

 

This is FABULOUS! Thank you so much for posting it!

 

This thread in particular gives a really good overview of what night terrors are and how to deal with them:

http://www.nightterrors.org/SMF/index.php?PHPSESSID=33fbf811b3c5908c2e24a6083d07d0e1&topic=1667.0

[tinag]

My ds had night terrors and wet the bed when he was little. We did an elimination diet and he stopped having them and stopped wetting the bed. I have no idea why.

[Christine]

Is there anything else I can do or is it just a matter or waiting till he grows out of it? My brother used to have night terrors and I am pretty sure he grew out of it but I can't remember when.

 

I went through night terrors with my oldest 2 and now my youngest (the third was blessfully skipped).

 

My 2nd ended around 5. My 1st closer to 8/9. My 4th just had one last week (he's 5).

 

However, I'm not the best "representative". We are military and I don't know how moves / deployments may have affected the "time-line".

 

My children have always done best during a night terror being bound in a blanket, held tightly and talked to. However, I realize it's very different for each child; that's just what worked for me.

[OH_Homeschooler]

DD gets night terrors on occasion. The reading I've done on them says that these are NOT the same as nightmares. It is best NOT to interfere with them in this state. They are still in a sleep state (unlike if they've woken up from a nightmare). This is why comforting them is not helpful...you are not in the same reality as they are. As hard as it is (and I know that it is really hard), it's best not to hold them, just kind of monitor them so they don't hurt themselves.

 

And do not bring up the incident the next day. Since they are in a sleep state when they're occurring, when they wake up they have no recollection of it. So when you bring up the incident, it can just scare them to know they were so terrified.

[obiandelismom]

My 7yo has them when he is overtired, and what (mostly) works for him is a trip to the bathroom, and then skip-counting. :001_huh: I have no idea why this works, but it really does! I hold him in my lap, look away from him, and start counting by 3s or 6s. (It doesn't work if I use 2s or 5s :lol:) During the counting, he might be thrashing, or talking, or shaking and crying, but I just keep going in a really deep, monotonous tone. Long about the 8s or 9s, I make a "mistake", and almost every time he'll snap around and correct me! After that I usually get him some milk or water to drink, and then he goes to bed with no more problems.

 

I know it's so hard to watch - my own personal irrational fear has to do with mental illness (in myself or in someone I love/care for), and the first few night terrors my son had COMPLETELY freaked me out - I thought I was losing him forever!! It was such a relief to wake up the next morning and realize that he was still "himself". :grouphug:

[Christine]

DD gets night terrors on occasion. The reading I've done on them says that these are NOT the same as nightmares. It is best NOT to interfere with them in this state. They are still in a sleep state (unlike if they've woken up from a nightmare). This is why comforting them is not helpful...you are not in the same reality as they are. As hard as it is (and I know that it is really hard), it's best not to hold them, just kind of monitor them so they don't hurt themselves.

 

And do not bring up the incident the next day. Since they are in a sleep state when they're occurring, when they wake up they have no recollection of it. So when you bring up the incident, it can just scare them to know they were so terrified.

 

 

Yes, I did much research on this topic too, and I realize what all the experts say. . .and I even tried it.

 

Discovered if I held them and talked to them, they'd settle down within minutes (usually less than 5), instead of "monitoring" and watching it go on-and-on.

 

And I am VERY aware of the difference between night terrors and nightmares.

 

But, as the experts say, the kids are in a dream state. Have you ever had a dream and someone in real-life starts talking to you? It kind of folds into the dream for a bit, but if they keep talking you generally wake up.

 

I talk, quietly and calmly, to them. I tell them they are going to be safe. I tell them Mommy will always do everything she can to protect them. I tell them I can see them, and ask if they can see me. Generally, they can't right at first, but after a couple of "tries" my kids do say they see me. I tell them I'm at a door, and if they walk toward me I'll take them inside where it is safe.

 

They tell me what they are afraid of. (DS1 had a particularly bad one where pink bubbles were chasing him down threatening to crush him.)

 

They always "come to me", and are immediately straight back to sleep, fine. I would never say that they officially "woke up". They never recall the terror in the a.m. But, we do talk about it -- because they are generally hillarious (i.e. the pink bubbles), especially in the light of day.

 

In this instance, experts give advice based on generalizations; they don't know you or your child. You become the "expert" for your child. If what the professionals recommend works for you and yours, fine and dandy; if not, it's time to try something else.

 

Oh, but FYI, DH had to deal with a night terror once when I was sick. His method was to grab the kid, turn on all the lights, talk VERY loudly to them to wake them up, and give them chocolate milk. That. . .didn't go over so well. . .

[KerriF]

This worked for us too. We have to make sure that ds doesn't get too hot and absolutely no socks. We hadn't had any for a while and then went to stay with family in a cold climate. We put warm jammies on with feet and for two nights he had night terrors. Finally we realized what was going on. We put him in lite weight jammies and no problems. We also found that having a high protein snack before bed helped alot too. Just couple of crackers with peanut butter or cheese helped.

 

hth

 

I know these aren't fun to deal with.

[Alexandra]

My daughter didn't have night terrors, but she would walk and talk in her sleep. One thing that really helped, and I've heard it helps with night terrors too, is an Epsom salt bath before bed. Magnesium gets absorbed through their skin, and that is what helps. You can also try magnesium supplements, but I haven't had to do that.

 

If you're interested in trying it, just pick up some Epsom salt in the pharmacy area of the store and start off with about 1/3 cup in the bathwater. Each night add a little more until you are up to 1 cup. I've heard that at first it can make the child a little hyper, but that's just more proof that they are magnesium deficient. That's why you start with the lower amount. My daughter would go weeks without sleepwalking, but as soon as we'd get slack with the salt baths you'd know right away because there she would be, stumbling through the house in her sleep.

 

Good luck!

 

I wonder if playing some music would help during the event. I hope an Epsom Salts bath can help prevent it to begin with though.

 

GL

Alexandra