Husband starts new job Monday 4pm-2:30am 5 days a week, any ideas/help?

[Ottakee]

My dh starts a new job next week. It should be a good fit for him as it is in the tool and die industry and he loves that type of work. The hours though are tough at 4pm-2:30am. The job is about 20 minutes away so he will leave by 3:25/3:30 to be there on time and then be home about 3am.

 

Our oldest works 2-3 nights a week from 5-8 so I will now be in charge of bringing him to work and picking him up as he is disabled/mentally impaired.

 

The girls go to public highschool now so are gone 6:30-3pm.

 

I am thinking of making dh breakfast about 11:30/noon and then having our big family meal ready to eat at 3pm when the girls get home. They have early lunch so that would work and then ds can eat before he goes to work as well. Then later we can have a snack before bed.

 

We will need to see how well dh can sleep as our bedroom faces east and has a fancy 1/2 moon shape window at the top with no shades (right now at least).

 

I figure that we can bring dh supper at work one night a week when the roads are good (winter is coming) so the kids can see him more. He is great about doing things with them on the weekends etc.

 

Any other ideas for this different schedule? Dh will be sleeping from 3/3:30-11/11:30 each morning while I will be going to bed by 10 and up at 6 with the girls and then doing chores, etc.

[Jean in Newcastle]

The meals sound about right.  You almost certainly will need to block out the light for that window.  When dh had hours like that we had to watch our noise level while he was sleeping.  

[Chris in VA]

Random thoughts--

 

Dh worked 3p-11p every now and again when we were first married. It was hard to have date night/together time. Be sure to be intentional. 

 

I think you have a good idea with dinner. 

 

Can he go have lunch at your kids' school from time to time, or take them out? Just to have a little extra time. 

 

My son is basically nocturnal now--works 9p to 9a three days in a row, then off. He keeps roughly the same schedule on off days. You might run something like that  by your dh--though I bet it's easier to get out of work at 3a than 9a! lol 

 

 

[Ottakee]

Dh and I will have from noon -3 alone each day so we will have lots of alone time.

 

I think we will end up going to the late church service on Sundays---11:15-12:30 which will fit better with dh's regular schedule (even though I like the 9:30-10:15 one better for my schedule).

 

We can see about a cardboard block on the window or something. Thankfully dh and I are both fairly good sleepers so that I won't be too disturbed when he comes in at 3 and hopefully he will sleep through me getting up and ready in the morning.

[Mergath]

My dh works nights.  Any black curtain that's not sheer will keep out 90% of the light, as long as it's wider than the window and hangs fairly close to the wall.  Dh also runs a fan whenever he sleeps during the day to drown out any noise.  We also have a tiny reading lamp in the bedroom so that if either of us has to go in and out for clothes or whatever while the other is sleeping, we can have a little bit of light without it being super bright.

[KarenNC]

I'd consider running a fan or white noise machine in the bedroom to help block sounds from the rest of the house as the kids get ready for school, etc.

[kbutton]

This is one of the many shifts my husband will sometimes work. Unlike you, we have no consistency though. Your plan sounds great, and it's nice you'll still get some alone time. My husband eventually learned to sleep through the noise, and our house is like a giant gym--one story, almost entirely hardwood floors. He wears earplugs and often puts a pillow over his head, but now that he's used to consistently changing hours, he doesn't need them all that often. Sleeping masks are also nice. It took some time for him to get to this point. The downside--he no longer hears things like alarm clocks! So, we try to set a backup for him in case he totally misses his, and we need to wake him up. You'll probably not have that problem since he's going to be working consistent hours. We have light blocking pull shades, like the old-fashioned ones, except white, not green. With curtains on the sides, they block a LOT of light. You'll want to have them cut to fit your windows really well.

[sunflowerlady]

Your dh might not go to bed right away after work. When my dh worked second shift, he needed time to unwind when he got home . I used to wait up and watch TV with him for an you or so. Of course, he was home by 11:30 or so and I didn't have to get up early. Just letting you know his sleep schedule might be a little different than you might think. BTW, congratulations to him for the new job and best wishes.

[Ottakee]

Thanks for all of the advice. He does have a fan already. We have a TV in the bedroom and he could come in and watch that and I would just snuggle up and sleep through that. We will have to see on the curtains, etc.

 

I told him it would be at least 2 weeks to figure things out.

 

Once he gets started I can also figure out his meals at work. We don't know if he will have a fridge or microwave to use or what time his lunch will be (the 2nd shift is a new shift). Hopefully he will have a microwave and not many people needing to use it so I can send left overs.

[LizzyBee]

I have a brother in law who works nights.  He sleeps in the walk in closet.  I thought I'd throw that out there in case that's an option.

[Live2Ride]

my husband works days and nights and sometimes within the same week.  I painted the room a darker color (a red, because I like it)-it helps keep it from looking bright if any light does peek in, we keep the A/C down colder through the time he sleeps during the warmer months of the year and then we kick the heat down too so it doesn't get too hot in there.  He has a box fan for noise reduction.  I quickly sewed curtains of navy blue duck cloth and hung them on tension rods behind the blinds.  I tie them in the middle when he's working days so I can get light.  Oh and there is a film of window tint on the windows (there when we moved in since the previous owners DH worked shift too ).  Our curtains that hang in the bedroom are also thick and stay to the side to help block more light too.

 

I make dinner between noon and three so that I can get his packed and ready to go, plus I pack him a lunch (he works 12 hour shifts). 

 

I normally get anything I need out of there the night before and put it outside the room (clothes, make-up, etc)  I try not to go in there for anything.

 

Good luck!  Your DH has a pretty good shift.  Mine wouldn't mind that one :) 

[SJ.]

My dh has always worked crazy hours and swears by a sleep mask.  I tease him that it is his security blanket  :tongue_smilie: but it does help him to sleep during the day.  White noise also helps, he uses an air purifier instead of a fan so he doesn't get too cold in the winter. It doesn't sound like a bad shift to work especially since half his sleeping will be during the night.

[QueenCat]

For the half moon window............... we found a "temporary shade" for around $25 at Lowes. Works perfectly, and has been up for about 2 years. Still looks good.

[texasmama]

For the half moon window............... we found a "temporary shade" for around $25 at Lowes. Works perfectly, and has been up for about 2 years. Still looks good.

Ditto. Ours has been up for 14 years.

[Farrar]

Dh works nights and has for years. He swears by melatonin. And while we have light blocking curtains, he also has a sleep mask that he finds works better. If you have a smart phone, there are white noise apps that are cheaper than and as good as expensive white noise machines.

[sbgrace]

I'd look into a sleep mask for him and a white noise machine (something that will really drown out sounds). Look into melatonin too. It's hard on his body to be awake at that hour, taking melatonin and having a dark room will help that. I'd prioritize trying to make his sleep as high quality as you can. I think that could eliminate, or at least mitigate, the health impacts of shift work.

[Ottakee]

Tomorrow he starts so we will see how it goes. I need to cover the window yet. He sleeps with a CPAP, a fan, and the TV on a radio station (he says he likes the flickering lights, etc) so all of those things will help. I just need to be organized to have my clothes for the day set out, etc.----and often that is several different outfits as I do barn chores, then maybe exercise and need stuff for going to town, etc.

 

He is much more of a night owl and does best with some daily sunlight so this shift is probably better for him (at least in the winter) as he will be up when it is light and have 4-5 hours of light to work around the house/yard, etc. before needing to leave for work. If he worked the 6-4:30 shift he would be driving in to work in the dark and coming home as it is getting dusky so he would have no daylight except on the weekend.

 

We have melatonin if he needs it but not sure he will.

 

Just praying this is a good job and works out well.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Hope he has a good first day and week!