Wanting to drop the classes for homeschoolers, but still want to meet other home schoolers

[Elisabet1]

Right now, my children are taking classes through a place that offers classes to home schoolers. It is small. But we have loved the teachers my children have had and the topics they taught were ones we were interested in. They just go twice a week for two hours. 

 

Problem is, nothing is being offered next year that we are interested in. We do have plenty of activities outside of home school stuff, but at places like Karate and dance, kids seem to go to those classes and then leave, never stopping to make friends. We do not have kids around us much (not ones that our kids could be friends with anyway). And we do not go to church. 

 

Next year, the Latin teacher is not coming back (she already quit in fact). And the other teacher plans to teach state history, which we are not interested in at all. We have taken a 2 year sequence of US history with her already and thought that she would perhaps be moving in to world something, but turns out, not. So I guess we will not do any classes through this place. 

 

And I really do not want to join a home school group. This is why....the home school groups here seem to focus on the parents. They do set up lots of field trips and such, but no down time, just socialize time, for the kids. So, they might go see a play or take a tour of a place, but they never just sit and let the kids play at a park. Nor do they seem to get together at each others houses. In the religious groups, they are nice to me, but, even though people attend those for the field trips and such, they seem to have their social lives revolve around their own churches. In the secular groups, well, we just do not fit in. The only secular group where we live excluded all Christians. I know there are much nicer and open secular groups further from us, but it is hard to belong to a group like that when you live far away from them. One was great in that they switched meetings between houses each time, which means the kids could get together and play during those times. But we live far enough away that it would not work out. They even had a robotics team and everything.

 

This is a big issue that led to home school failure with my older children. I just could not find any social outlets. 

 

Suggestions? (other than moving. But I am beginning to suspect we need to move to an area with a more diverse home school population and such).

[JBJones]

Maybe you should contact some of the other parents in the local homeschooling groups. Possibly you might discover another person that feels just like you do about letting the kids play. (?) Then you could form your own group.  Just a thought.

I  totally feel your pain as there is nothing here (no groups of any kind--I've already tried to start a group three times.) We don't have the option of moving and ps is not an option either.

[Ellie]

A support group. "Homeschool group" isn't a descriptive-enough term, lol. Call a few of the people you know that you think you'd like to hang with, and invite them to meet you at a park for lunch (I like Fridays the best, 'cuz it's the end of the week, you don't have to worry about getting your head together the next day for more Official School Stuff). Relax. Let the children play.  Rinse and repeat if it feels right for you.

 

I prefer park days at the same park each time, but one support group of which I was a member did a monthly Moms' Night Out at a different home each time; the hostess was the one whose home we were in, and she decided the agenda. We did a craft night, a devotional, a share-with-us-your-biggest-challenge night, and so on. Once we were having such a good time talking that the hostess never got around to what she had planned for us to do. We never knew in advance what it would be, and we were always delighted. :-)

 

I don't see how a group that organizes field trips or other outings has a "focus on parents"  :confused1:  but still, if you aren't feeling the love, then it's clearly not the right support group for you. :grouphug:

[freesia]

Could you join the group and organize the park days? In the homeschool group that I am involved with, the leaders don't organize events for the group. Folks who want events organize them and invite the other members. There are probably others who want a park day, too.

[Penelope]

Use the group outings as a way to meet some families with similarly aged kids. Then invite them over to play. :D Or start a park day.

 

Sometimes we need to make our own connections rather than expect them to be provided for us, kwim? Even though it requires more effort.

[maize]

We have had good luck with small group classes involving just two or three families, at least weekly, with extra time built in for the kids to play. This is where my kids have made lasting friendships. The class component seems to keep us moms motivated to get the kids together on a regular basis. When I have tried to just have scheduled play dates they tend to fizzle out, just not high enough up the priority list I think. You could do something like trading off teaching history and science with another mom, for example.

[2_girls_mommy]

I would join the group w/the field trips and chat w/the moms and watch who your kids are drawn to.  Talk to the leaders about organizing a park day.  Invite the families to your house that you are wanting to be closer to.

[T'smom]

Check around for Facebook and yahoo groups for local homeschoolers. Just post on there the ages of your kids and that you want to get together. Have some ideas ready. Hopefully, you'll hit it off with a couple and maybe something will grow from there.

[Farrar]

Seconding everyone else.  Join anyway and set it up yourself.  Or join anyway and go to a field trip every so often and focus on your goal of connecting and making friends, despite the limitations.  Often if we're on a field trip, the trip ends and we say to another family, "Hey, want to go take our lunch to that park nearby?"

 

ETA: You know, saying that a group is "focused on the parents" doesn't seem like a drawback to me for finding friends for your kids.  Honestly, until they're teens (and sometimes even then these days) it's really about finding other parents who are willing to bring their kids to where yours are.  And usually, to then hang out.  Usually with you.  I think the way to find friends for you kids is usually to make friends with their parents.  I feel like this is a fundamental thing that some parents don't seem to get.

[Ellie]

 

ETA: You know, saying that a group is "focused on the parents" doesn't seem like a drawback to me for finding friends for your kids.  Honestly, until they're teens (and sometimes even then these days) it's really about finding other parents who are willing to bring their kids to where yours are.  And usually, to then hang out.  Usually with you.  I think the way to find friends for you kids is usually to make friends with their parents.  I feel like this is a fundamental thing that some parents don't seem to get.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[freesia]

Seconding everyone else.  Join anyway and set it up yourself.  Or join anyway and go to a field trip every so often and focus on your goal of connecting and making friends, despite the limitations.  Often if we're on a field trip, the trip ends and we say to another family, "Hey, want to go take our lunch to that park nearby?"

 

ETA: You know, saying that a group is "focused on the parents" doesn't seem like a drawback to me for finding friends for your kids.  Honestly, until they're teens (and sometimes even then these days) it's really about finding other parents who are willing to bring their kids to where yours are.  And usually, to then hang out.  Usually with you.  I think the way to find friends for you kids is usually to make friends with their parents.  I feel like this is a fundamental thing that some parents don't seem to get.

All of my children's close friends are bc of close friendships I pursued. Yes, I looked for women with children the ages of my children, but I nurtured those friendship through some focused parent events, lots of inviting folks over and inviting folks to meet at the park. It was a lot of work and I had to do most of the initiating at first, but it paid off in spades.

[Candid]

Personally, even if you don't like the state history topic, it sounds like the group is functioning for what you want socialization wise, I'd sign up again. Extra knowledge really doesn't hurt. 

[katilac]

I agree with those who suggest joining a group and starting park days. If it's strictly social time at the park, there's almost no work involved, just posting the occasional reminder. As far as getting together at people's houses and such, I think it's impossible for you to know what's going on if you're not in the group. They may informally socialize a lot, or they may be open to the suggestion.

 

Question regarding the secular group: do you know for a fact that they exclude Christians? Is it posted on their web site or in their bylaws? If not, it may well be nothing more than a rumor. I've never heard of a secular group that banned Christians or other believers. If they don't want believers of any sort, it seems like they would bill themselves as atheist. I would check it out at the source.

 

Personally, even if you don't like the state history topic, it sounds like the group is functioning for what you want socialization wise, I'd sign up again. Extra knowledge really doesn't hurt.

Also, it's only mid-October of this school year, so it's super-early for plans to be set in stone. It's worth saying you had really hoped world history would be offered, especially if you can find other parents interested in it.

[Candid]

Also, it's only mid-October of this school year, so it's super-early for plans to be set in stone. It's worth saying you had really hoped world history would be offered, especially if you can find other parents interested in it.

 

This is a good point. 

[Farrar]

Question regarding the secular group: do you know for a fact that they exclude Christians? Is it posted on their web site or in their bylaws? If not, it may well be nothing more than a rumor. I've never heard of a secular group that banned Christians or other believers. If they don't want believers of any sort, it seems like they would bill themselves as atheist. I would check it out at the source.

 

Seconding this.  I would check.  I mod a loose knit secular group.  Most of the member families are Christian and some are very religious - they may include some religious studies as part of their homeschooling, but are homeschooling for secular reasons (education, special needs, etc.), though someone homeschooling for religious reasons would be welcome too - we're open to anyone really.  I know that this can be tricky...  someone who is very fundamentalist might not fit in with most of the families in our group because most everyone is pretty socially liberal and some members are atheist or Buddhist or Hindu (or Catholic - our whole co-op except my family is Catholics - and I know there can be real disagreements there), but anyone part of a mainline Christian church would fit in just fine.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I have found if you start something people will come. I go to the park weekly and get a different group of people each time. The friends my kids have come some, but it was us parents seeking out friendships for all of us that got the kids connected.

 

My group lets anyone lead events. I focus on being consistent at the park. Until my kids don't want to go we will show up.

 

I see everyone around us doing coops and we may have to do that if all our friends get too busy to socialize

[Elisabet1]

The secular group did specifically say no Christians. It was a big deal, happened a few years ago. I don't know if that group is still there. We are in a small town basically, out from a large city. We don't have much.

[LucyStoner]

Meetup.com. I was sort of shocked to realize it was still going and not just for Dean for America and do-gooder events anymore. But alas, it is alive and kicking. And I have found a knitting group for me, a kids with autism group for my son and a no fuss no muss homeschooling group for all of us. It's been great so far.

[mumto2]

Meetup.com. I was sort of shocked to realize it was still going and not just for Dean for America and do-gooder events anymore. But alas, it is alive and kicking. And I have found a knitting group for me, a kids with autism group for my son and a no fuss no muss homeschooling group for all of us. It's been great so far.

I didn't think I would find anything when I looked at meetup.com but lots of great stuff for ds at first glance. Thank you!