Help me decide on piano teachers

[miracleone]

Hey ladies, I don't know if I am in the right forum but could use some advice whether we need to switch piano teacher or not.

 

Teacher #1 - is a highly knowledgeable music teacher, director of music dept. of a private school, teaches bell and church choirs, very multitasking person, impatient but not an unkind person. Price is right (actually very cheap considering her credentials)  She recommended that my daughter participate in the Certificate of Merit program.  Daughter (11 years old) has been her student for 3 years.  However, 3 weeks ago, daughter had a crying episode during lesson; not due to lack of practice but she later told me that when her teacher was asking her about a note and she couldn't get it, teacher got impatient and raise her voice, gave a big sigh of being impatient.  When dd started crying, teacher tried hard to make her happy again but she was just an emotional mess. She had a headache all day after the lesson.  She said she wants me to tell her teacher to be "nice."  She is not thrilled going to her lessons every week yet she doesn't want to quit. 

 

So I decided to let her take a break this month to try different teacher.  There is teacher #2, who would come to my house, her fee is slightly higher than teacher #1.  She is not part of the organization that does CM but she is classically trained and an experienced teacher.  She seemed nice and patient. 

 

Don't know if my daughter is having a misplaced guilt or not but she wants to go back to her old teacher because she thinks teacher #1 gives her a lot of tips in piano.  She is not sure if teacher #2 can do that and of course we can't say until we try her out for more than a month.

 

My questions are:  Should we switch teacher just because she was impatient?  Teacher #1 called to apologize and also wanted to speak with my daughter to apologize.  Is it normal for kids to cry during piano lessons?  Do your children enjoy their lessons? My dd is not enjoying piano as much and don't know if a switch with be good yet I am not sure if it's really necessary?

 

Thank you.

[Tiramisu]

We first went to a neighborhood woman for piano. I don't know what her credentials were, but she was experienced and cheap. After two years, my serious dd wanted something more, so we found the mean teacher. The mean teacher had excellent credentials and experience and was reasonably priced for her level of expertise. However, she made my serious dd start at the very beginning because the first teacher did not teacher her some essential basics, which was demoralizing. That was probably necessary, but she also told my serious dd that she was the worst student she ever had, though she had been calling her gifted. That dd would not go back. Then she told my other dd that if she didn't put more into it, she might as well "sell cakes on the side of the street." Regardless of how much or little they practiced, she would make judgments about them based on her mood that week. Afterwards, we went to someone who was a great player as a young woman but did not have enough teaching experience. My serious dd has been with her for a year and has made NO improvements. Like your dd, my dd wants to go back to the mean teacher because she knows she made the most progress with her. I've been holding out for finding a kind teacher who is also a good teacher. I'm worried now that we'll be in the same boat as she was when we made the first switch and she'll have to start at the beginning again. Based on this experience, I would try to find a teacher that you are absolutely sure is teaching properly. Having to back up can be hard. My friend's children have had the same experience of having to back up and start again. So it's not all that uncommon.

 

Sorry this got so long!!!

[musicianmom]

I lost my long reply. Short answer. Accept the first teacher's apology. She should have hidden her impatience, and she knows it. But I don't blame her for feeling it inwardly. Your daughter needs to learn to read the staff backwards, forwards, and sideways so lesson time doesn't have to be wasted on it. Imagine if you had to spend time every math lesson reminding her of addition and subtraction facts. You'd be sighing too.

[mom2samlibby]

I lost my long reply. Short answer. Accept the first teacher's apology. She should have hidden her impatience, and she knows it. But I don't blame her for feeling it inwardly. Your daughter needs to learn to read the staff backwards, forwards, and sideways so lesson time doesn't have to be wasted on it. Imagine if you had to spend time every math lesson reminding her of addition and subtraction facts. You'd be sighing too.

 

I can play the piano, but I can't name all the notes immediately.  I can find them on the piano and play them, however my brain doesn't always recall what the note is.  And if the teacher was getting frustrated, her student was probably picking up on it.

 

OP, could your daughter take a short break with piano for a couple of weeks or a month to regroup.  Maybe things would be clearer as to which teacher to use if she had a short break and a little distance from the situation.

[Orthodox6]

The mother was not there to witness what happened at the lesson, so cannot be fully sure of the "fine details" of what happened.  The teacher may have been patient for a suitable length of time before expressing her frustration.  She later called to apologize.  The daughter wants to continue with the original teacher, and gave a sound reason for it.  (Commend the girl on her maturity.)  I would recommend staying with her.  Don't take time off.  Rather, meet with the teacher for a "status update" on how DD is doing with her basic skills (note reading, elementary theory, etc.).  Discuss whatever may be weak points in the girl's knowledge base at this point in time, and how best to remedy them.

 

Eleven is old enough to start rolling with various personality types.  The teacher does not appear to be habitually, purposely unkind.  This may well be good "life experience" that will come in useful later on.  We don't get to quit our jobs, for example, every time a supervisor is in an "off" mood.  This piano teacher very well may have been having a difficult day for reasons unknown to the family, and she may have slipped because she was over-pushed already for reasons that had nothing at all to do with this piano student.  

 

I am a musician, and have taught before.   

[miracleone]

I can play the piano, but I can't name all the notes immediately.  I can find them on the piano and play them, however my brain doesn't always recall what the note is.  And if the teacher was getting frustrated, her student was probably picking up on it.

 

OP, could your daughter take a short break with piano for a couple of weeks or a month to regroup.  Maybe things would be clearer as to which teacher to use if she had a short break and a little distance from the situation.

 

We took a break and this coming week will be the 3rd week of our break.  I have to make a decision soon yet I don't know what to do.  Teacher #1 is getting old (63) and her responsibilities at the school where she works is probably taking a toll on her.  She's almost super-human in her multitasking abilities but her body is probably slowing down while her brain is still planning different projects.  She might retire in a few years but will probably resume her private practice. 

 

When I told my daughter that we'll probably put her back to teacher #1, she wasn't too excited yet she is conflicted and I don't think she can decide for herself which teacher she wants either.  I think I have to decide for her.  She would sometimes tell me she misses her old teacher. 

 

I heard from other people that the teacher's influence is strong when it comes to how a student perceive herself.  Teacher #1 is mechanical and I don't think she makes the student feel the "love" of the music.  She is very knowledgeable though and stays active in the music community.

 

Teacher #2 is just starting to build a student clientele.  She taught using the British system and participated in the British Royal Academy, then she stopped briefly to raise her kids and is now back to teaching. 

 

How important is the certificate of merit?

[catz]

I think there is a WORLD of difference between a teacher sighing at a student causing a student to cry and a teacher telling a student she will be selling cakes on the side of the street, causing a student to cry. An 11 year old crying over a sighing teacher must be very sensitive indeed (and I get that - my daughter could be this way at 11). I think I would cry as an adult at the 2nd teacher or walk out.

 

I personally wouldn't have left the first teacher over an incident like this with an 11 year old if the teacher was otherwise good. Kids at this age need to start working with different personalities. It sounds like the teacher's heart is in the right place if she called to apologize and honestly, she sounds high qualified to take kids to a high level in piano. I'm guessing if you went back to her, she would probably show more patience with your daughter's personality. If someone raised their voice and sighed to my 12 year old, he'd probably roll his eyes. I'm sure she wasn't expecting such an emotional reaction from an 11 year old and maybe was having an off day.

 

My kids have had 6 (!) music teachers between the 2 of them. They ALL have their strengths and weaknesses and quirks. If a teacher was otherwise working well, I wouldn't get rid of them for one bad experience if it's been generally good for 3 years.

 

I'm not sure I'd let your daughter change her mind so easily though either. I would say a decision to go with the new teacher or go back would be at least a year long experiment. I don't think taking a short break is a bad idea either. Is she really into piano and want to do CM? Maybe if she wants to be a more casual student, the new teacher might be better. (My oldest has taken piano for 7+ years and has done RCM, working on a concerto for a contest right now, etc. just for background).

[miracleone]

The mother was not there to witness what happened at the lesson, so cannot be fully sure of the "fine details" of what happened.  The teacher may have been patient for a suitable length of time before expressing her frustration.  She later called to apologize.  The daughter wants to continue with the original teacher, and gave a sound reason for it.  (Commend the girl on her maturity.)  I would recommend staying with her.  Don't take time off.  Rather, meet with the teacher for a "status update" on how DD is doing with her basic skills (note reading, elementary theory, etc.).  Discuss whatever may be weak points in the girl's knowledge base at this point in time, and how best to remedy them.

 

Eleven is old enough to start rolling with various personality types.  The teacher does not appear to be habitually, purposely unkind.  This may well be good "life experience" that will come in useful later on.  We don't get to quit our jobs, for example, every time a supervisor is in an "off" mood.  This piano teacher very well may have been having a difficult day for reasons unknown to the family, and she may have slipped because she was over-pushed already for reasons that had nothing at all to do with this piano student.  

 

I am a musician, and have taught before.   

 

I like your response and I totally agree with what you said about this being a good "life experience."  I think a status update with the teacher will be very good. 

 

Where does the love of music come in?  She used to like it but now she tolerates it.  She doesn't want to quit though.

[Orthodox6]

I was not familiar with this program, but just looked it up.  It is a program used in the state of California by members of the state music teachers association.  I read comparisons with the "Piano Guild" program, which was in place where I grew up. 

 

I can't give an answer useful to you.  I did not participate in any similar program, and placed well in competitions without having done so.  I would not consider it essential; however, I do not (and did not) live in California. 

 

ETA:  P.S.  Smiling over here as I type.  I am 58, which is not far behind 63.  It is going to be decades before I hang up my hat for the last time.  (D.V.)

[miracleone]

I think there is a WORLD of difference between a teacher sighing at a student causing a student to cry and a teacher telling a student she will be selling cakes on the side of the street, causing a student to cry. An 11 year old crying over a sighing teacher must be very sensitive indeed (and I get that - my daughter could be this way at 11). I think I would cry as an adult at the 2nd teacher or walk out.

 

I personally wouldn't have left the first teacher over an incident like this with an 11 year old if the teacher was otherwise good. Kids at this age need to start working with different personalities. It sounds like the teacher's heart is in the right place if she called to apologize and honestly, she sounds high qualified to take kids to a high level in piano. I'm guessing if you went back to her, she would probably show more patience with your daughter's personality. If someone raised their voice and sighed to my 12 year old, he'd probably roll his eyes. I'm sure she wasn't expecting such an emotional reaction from an 11 year old and maybe was having an off day.

 

My kids have had 6 (!) music teachers between the 2 of them. They ALL have their strengths and weaknesses and quirks. If a teacher was otherwise working well, I wouldn't get rid of them for one bad experience if it's been generally good for 3 years.

 

I'm not sure I'd let your daughter change her mind so easily though either. I would say a decision to go with the new teacher or go back would be at least a year long experiment. I don't think taking a short break is a bad idea either. Is she really into piano and want to do CM? Maybe if she wants to be a more casual student, the new teacher might be better. (My oldest has taken piano for 7+ years and has done RCM, working on a concerto for a contest right now, etc. just for background).

I appreciate all the responses.  I would be seriously offended if a teacher would tell my child that if she's not serious she might as well be selling cakes on the side of the street.  I don't think teacher #1 is that cruel.  She was just impatient and more particular on that day when my daughter couldn't get the note.  You're right that I am confident that this teacher is one who can take my daughter to higher levels when the time comes.  She has many advanced students.

 

Regarding the CM, I have never heard of this until our teacher made the suggestion.  I want my child to enjoy music and hopefully studying for the CM will not hinder that.  Right now though she prefers broadway show tunes and Disney tunes but we think she should learn classics first and the others can be good sight-reading practice she does on her own.

 

Do anyone sit in during piano or just drop off?

[Orthodox6]

When I take dd to music lessons (formerly piano, then violin) I have no choice but to sit somewhere in the house.  (live in large metroplex)  I don't sit in on the lessons because that interferes with the pupil-teacher relationship. 

 

I can't field questions regarding popular music.  I reflexively associate piano lessons with classical music, and associate popular music with what one plays for additional enjoyment at home.  Someone help me out, please; however, even if a student were interested in jazz piano (for an example), wouldn't the student achieve some level of competency with classical music, then branch out into jazz?  Same with violin -- ?  Start with classical music violin, but down the road locate a teacher for Celtic fiddle? 

 

The CM program you reference probably would be a good experience for your daughter.  Think of it as a structured program, participated in by students from all over your state.  As a comparison, older students studying Latin might participate in the exams of the Junior Classical League (if that program still exists) and would prepare by studying a set body of material in order to take the exam.  . . .  Every year I took some structured, organization-mandated music theory exam.  I was bored silly; however, I imagine that I imbibed some study skills and attention to detail which helped me out later in school.   

 

 

[catz]

My son started piano with the Suzuki method, so I am still required to sit in. Although, there is nothing magically Suzuki about his lessons now 7+ years in. He reads music well, uses many sources of repertoire, etc. I do take notes for him. I rarely say anything during lesson. I'm just quiet in the background. My son has a great relationship with his teacher. His teacher drives me a little nuts sometimes - he's SO technical now with stuff it hurts my brain! I play piano just a tiny bit.

[Spy Car]

Gosh, I remember when all the piano teachers were Russian and mean. And if you played the wrong note they'd slap a kids hands, or throw the sheet music across the room :D

 

Today's kids have it easy.

 

Our piano teacher? Tough. Nice, too. Volatile. Unpredictable. Supportive. Demanding. Great.

 

I would choose teacher #1.

 

Bill

[Tiramisu]

Gosh, I remember when all the piano teachers were Russian and mean. And if you played the wrong note they'd slap a kids hands, or throw the sheet music across the room :D

 

Today's kids have it easy.

 

Our piano teacher? Tough. Nice, too. Volatile. Unpredictable. Supportive. Demanding. Great.

 

I would choose teacher #1.

 

Bill

 

Our mean piano teacher was Hungarian. She could be so lovely at times.

[Spy Car]

Our mean piano teacher was Hungarian. She could be so lovely at times.

Yes, lovely Slavs (until one struck the wrong key :D) Then look out!

 

These people had the right ideas.

 

Bill

[In The Great White North]

 

 

I heard from other people that the teacher's influence is strong when it comes to how a student perceive herself.

 

Really, really true.

 

 

 

Where does the love of music come in?  She used to like it but now she tolerates it.  She doesn't want to quit though.

 

This spiralled.

 

 

 

Then she told my other dd that if she didn't put more into it, she might as well "sell cakes on the side of the street."

 

 

A few similar comments, and we don't have to pay for music lessons anymore.  :sad: 

[Heather in Neverland]

It really depends on your goals. What do you hope to gain for your daughter by taking piano? Does she want to be a concert pianist? Grow up to teach piano herself? Etc. If so, then you need to stick with the teacher who most "knows their stuff" and will hold your dd accountable. Usually that means strict, high expectations and so on.

 

My ds had that teacher. My ds hated piano. We argued about it before every lesson, every week, for six years. My ds does not want to play piano professionally. He just wants to play for enjoyment, play at church, and so forth. We finally switched him to a teacher who is more that style and the change for us has been dramatic. He LOVES piano now and plays all the time at home, at church, at school. It's like a dream for me to see him get so much enjoyment from piano.

 

But

 

He plays a lot by ear, takes a lot of shortcuts, probably uses improper fingering and so on so he will never be a piano teacher. But that's ok because he doesn't want to be. So that is the conversation I would have with your dd. Why does she want to learn piano?

[Orthodox6]

Gosh, I remember when all the piano teachers were Russian and mean. And if you played the wrong note they'd slap a kids hands, or throw the sheet music across the room :D

 

 

 

Bill

 

The Russian community here includes serious-minded people, but nothing so absurd as this description.  The professional musicians definitely do not act like this.   

 

I'll assume you are trying to be humorous.   

[kroe1]

Is there not a teacher #3? Teacher 1 has too many negatives and teacher 2 may not know enough for your DD's level. Sounds like you still need to shop around.

[cuckoomamma]

My dds are 12 and 8 and both take piano.  Our older dd began with a lovely teacher who was very encouraging and warm.  She was absolutely perfect for my then 8 yo dd.  After 2 years she moved and told us that she would have referred dd to someone who was more experienced had she not moved.  She felt dd was gifted and needed someone stronger.  It took me quite awhile but we found a teacher who was approachable but absolutely passionate about piano.  He's very technical and dd has come incredibly far with him.  That being said, she misses her old, warm female teacher.  Our current teacher isn't strict or cold, but he isn't maternal :-) 

 

I have always sat in on lessons.  I was much less involved in the lessons for the first year and a half with this teacher.  However,  now I find that dd plays better and the teacher teaches better when they occasionally turn to me and involve me in the lesson.  Our younger dd started more recently with this teacher and she's also doing very well with him.

 

I approach things differently than some of the other posters.  I think that as long as I can find a teacher who makes my child happy, I'm going to look for one.  There are many times in life where we must compromise and have little to no choice.  I would feel that my dd had outgrown her time with the first teacher you described and that it was time to find a new fit.  Maybe it isn't teacher #2, but for me, it wouldn't be teacher #1.  The exact details of the situation really don't matter.  What matters is that your dd isn't thriving.

 

Both our girls dance, and we have very little choice in a school that teaches to the technical level our oldest is at.  We have stayed because of the quality of instruction, but one teacher has done at least as much harm as good to dd.  I question our involvement there quite frequently, and the child who lived to dance now questions her ability and self-worth.  I'm getting to the point where I'd prefer a less perfect dancer who still loves to dance over this technically beautiful girl who questions herself. 

 

Don't settle if you don't have to.

 

Good luck with whichever path you choose.

 

 

[alef]

I think it is normal for children to sometimes feel stressed during lessons, I would no switch teachers because of one incident, especially if the teacher called afterwards to apologize and try to make things better. If crying during lessons became  a pattern I would switch.

[miracleone]

Is there not a teacher #3? Teacher 1 has too many negatives and teacher 2 may not know enough for your DD's level. Sounds like you still need to shop around.

There were teacher #3 and #4 but I already ruled them out.  I thought teacher #3 would be great because she was the most cheerful and enthusiastic person out of the 4 but found out later from other parents who use her that she is passive-aggressive and they don't trust her with their kids and have to sit in during the lessons all the time.  Teacher #4 didn't feel right for us - personality wise.  

 

Thank you for all your responses.  I am still pondering on everything said here and appreciate your input.  

[Roadrunner]

A student - teacher bond is very important. You work with your teacher one on one for years and to be overtaken by negative feelings, or being nervous and uncomfortable isn't conducive to learning. Unskilled teacher is a waste if money, so yea, you are in a tough spot. I would stay with teacher number 1 for now, but I would be actively looking for a new teacher that will be a good personality match for her.

[miracleone]

A student - teacher bond is very important. You work with your teacher one on one for years and to be overtaken by negative feelings, or being nervous and uncomfortable isn't conducive to learning. Unskilled teacher is a waste if money, so yea, you are in a tough spot. I would stay with teacher number 1 for now, but I would be actively looking for a new teacher that will be a good personality match for her.

I understand what you're saying.  I think teacher #2 might be a good match in personality but again, it's hard to tell when we only tried her once.  DD is not uncomfortable, but she probably would prefer someone who is more cheerful and have a sweet disposition.  You're right, I am in a tough spot.  

[Sara in AZ]

Gosh, I remember when all the piano teachers were Russian and mean. And if you played the wrong note they'd slap a kids hands, or throw the sheet music across the room :D

 

Today's kids have it easy.

 

Our piano teacher? Tough. Nice, too. Volatile. Unpredictable. Supportive. Demanding. Great.

 

I would choose teacher #1.

 

Bill

I totally get this joke, Bill.

 

I'm nice and good. I wish I could take her on! I cried at almost every lesson between the ages of 8 and 12. The teacher was respected in the community, but honestly not a good teacher. Just because a teacher is strict doesn't mean they are good.

 

Programs such as the Certificate of Merite have a lot of value. I love my state's counterpart to that. They help the teacher formulate a solid and appropriately graded program of study. They give the student a worthwhile goal to work towards and the opportunity to be adjudicated by an outside source than the one they hear from every week. They ensure the development of technical skills and knowledge of theory if the program incorporates it.

 

However, not every student needs or wants that. Some of my students prefer not to take the exam. It cam be intimidating. I can still use the guidelines as I structure their learning. Or they may not be as interested in classical music and we follow a different path. Regardless of the exams you take or the music you prefer to play, there are basic technical skills that need to be learned and theory that needs to be taught. If teacher #2 is thorough and doesn't ignore those aspects of musical training, then I think you can be confident in using her as a teacher, especially if the personalities mesh well. She may eventually decide to get involved with the music teacher's association as she gets more established in the community.

 

That being said, I'm sure teacher #1 feels really bad. You said she called and apologized. I'm sure she'll be extra careful in the future to not go through that again, especially since you took the break for a month. I would personally be exceedingly gentle after that.

 

Hope you can come to a decision you feel good about.

[Roadrunner]

I understand what you're saying. I think teacher #2 might be a good match in personality but again, it's hard to tell when we only tried her once. DD is not uncomfortable, but she probably would prefer someone who is more cheerful and have a sweet disposition. You're right, I am in a tough spot.

Are you in a large enough town? If so, do an online search on regional piano competitions (or other high profile music events) in your area and get the names of teachers whose students placed well over the years. In the absence of a good recommendation, this will be a safe bet on getting the teacher with skills. It's difficult to prepare a student at a high level if the teacher isn't a good professional. Once you get the list, start calling and see if you can meet them for informational sessions and take your DD with you. If you are in a rural area with few options, I have no advice :(

 

I had the sweetest teacher growing up. Wait for it ..... I went to a specialized music school in the USSR :) :) :) No rulers :)

[saw]

We just went through a similar decision but with dd15 and cello. She spent two years with a teacher with excellent credentials. At first it went well and dd learned a lot. In the second year, however, dd didn't learn as much. She would be unhappy because the teacher was never happy with anything she'd played and also because it was inconsistent. For example, dd would have spent a week practising lots, and teacher would assume she hadn't practised at all and be critical. Another week dd wouldn't have practised nearly as much and teacher would be pleased with her. This happened several times. At first I thought, well, it's good for dd to learn to get along with different types of teaching and the teacher is really good and so we should stick with it. We stuck with it for a year. I sat in on every other lesson to monitor things. Finally I realized that dd was so intimidated by the teacher that it was interfering with her playing. She'd pick up her bow to start playing and at the first note the teacher would stop her to tell her she had done something wrong. Same with the second note. Same with the third note. If dd ever got through a scale or piece, the teacher would have had a minimum of several dozen criticisms for her that she was supposed to work on. Very little was written down, of course, because it was all thrown at dd during the course of playing a piece/scale, so dd wouldn't have a chance to remember everything and really improve. It got to the point where dd was scared to play because everytime she would practice at home she was paralyzed with concern -- oh dear I know there was something I did wrong on this last lesson and what was it and what was I supposed to do. There was way too much inconsistent criticism.

Eventually I found another teacher who is a great personality fit with dd -- he is calm and logical and gives her a few things to work on every lesson and follows up at the next lesson. DD is playing much much better and is more confident. Ironically the new teacher, who is very young, had actually taken a few lessons with dd's former teacher, who is elderly to say the least, and knew exactly was DD's experience was like. 

DS just had a similar experience -- he and his piano teacher at his boarding school are not a good personality match. In the summer DS took lessons from our home piano teacher, who is a great personality match for DS. In four weeks DS jumped two grade levels on the piano (British system -- grade 3 to grade 5).

 

So my point is if the teacher-student relationship is such that the student is not going to improve, whether because of fear/intimidation or lack of response to the teacher, it would be worth trying a different teacher.

[flyingiguana]

I would not extract a promise from you daughter to stay with any teacher for a year.  She's in the lessons -- she has a better idea as to the fit with the teacher.  If she starts to say it's not working, then maybe it isn't working.  She shouldn't be forced to spend more time in a situation that isn't helpful.

 

There are fiddle teachers that teach using folk tunes.  It's not all that uncommon.  It would not surprise me if there were also piano teachers who didn't feel the need to teach strictly classical.  The usefulness of a teacher isn't going to be determined by which pieces their students play.  A lot of the techniques can be picked up using many different musical styles.  (There may be some who would argue that fiddle playing is a whole different technique from classical violin, but there really aren't that many differences in the first years of study.  There would be even less difference in piano technique between classical and Broadway tunes.)

 

If your daughter burst into tears, I'd be concerned that there was more going on that you don't know about.  If she wants to go back to teacher 1, I'd certainly let her.  But I'd keep an eye on the situation.  It could be this teacher is oh-so-warm when you're around and kind of not when you're not.  And your daughter might feel it's her own fault if the teacher is not so nice in private -- so she might be keeping quiet about it out of guilt.  OTOH, maybe they were both just having a bad day.  That does happen.

 

But a continually bad relationship, even if the student isn't bursting into tears every time, isn't that great for learning.  I'd wonder if Teacher 1 were guilting the student -- making her believe she was really a much better teacher than she really is.  And I've known a lot of VERY difficult people who were always calling to apologize after the fact.  It doesn't mean they acted better next time I was around them.  (And often the apology was more along the lines of telling me I was to blame.)

 

My daughter does have a voice teacher that she loves, who has taught her a lot.  But she still can't find a flute teacher that she respects.  One was fairly abusive (in a really "nice" way).  Others can't teach.  It runs the gamut.

[miracleone]

Thank you everyone for your sincere and wonderful comments.  Everyone of you gave me some great advice and really helped me shed light to this issue.  Looks like we're going back to teacher #1.  Thank you again!

[Alenee]

We went through something similar but in a backward way. I would count the fact that your dd is 11 as part of the crying issue that day. The fact that the teacher called shows great humility. I'd keep going with her. One offense of this size doesn't make me think it's time to switch just yet. If it keeps happening, then yes, find a new teacher. Your dd's thoughts about the teacher's tips are important too. It's a hiccup, not a deal-breaker, imo.

[Tree Frog]

spam reported.

[miracleone]

Hi, I'm back and this time with a different issue.  Please be patient with me.  I am feeling quite frustrated already.  So we casually mentioned to dd11 that we're going back to teacher #1.  She didn't say anything negative but she didn't look happy either.  She is still refusing to practice and saying that it's boring.  She doesn't want to quit piano but doesn't have any motivation to practice.  Arrggggg!  (I am venting so please be kind with your comments.  Thank you.)

[catz]

She's had a few weeks off right? I find that my kids aren't very engaged after they have more than an extra week off. I might warn the teacher she's a little nervous about coming back and is feeling lethargic about the whole thing, and see how things roll once she gets back into a lesson/practice routine. Since the teacher called you directly, I'm sure she'll be sensitive! :)

[miracleone]

She's had a few weeks off right? I find that my kids aren't very engaged after they have more than an extra week off. I might warn the teacher she's a little nervous about coming back and is feeling lethargic about the whole thing, and see how things roll once she gets back into a lesson/practice routine. Since the teacher called you directly, I'm sure she'll be sensitive! :)

Thank you so much!  I appreciate you taking the time to respond.  DD finally got on the piano tonight and played for half hour.  She was actually proud of herself when she was done.  So there's hope afterall...

[Sara in AZ]

Hi, I'm back and this time with a different issue. Please be patient with me. I am feeling quite frustrated already. So we casually mentioned to dd11 that we're going back to teacher #1. She didn't say anything negative but she didn't look happy either. She is still refusing to practice and saying that it's boring. She doesn't want to quit piano but doesn't have any motivation to practice. Arrggggg! (I am venting so please be kind with your comments. Thank you.)

Now this sounds like just being 11. ;- ) I've got one of those. The fact that she sat down to play of her own volition and enjoyed tells you a lot. I'm sure she still loves piano and that once you get going again consistently with a teacher she'll get the motivation back. Even as an adult I need someone to report to to motivate me to do some things. Hang in there!

[miracleone]

Now this sounds like just being 11. ;- ) I've got one of those. The fact that she sat down to play of her own volition and enjoyed tells you a lot. I'm sure she still loves piano and that once you get going again consistently with a teacher she'll get the motivation back. Even as an adult I need someone to report to to motivate me to do some things. Hang in there!

 

Sara, thank you so much!  DD goes back to teacher #1 on Thursday.  

[Sara in AZ]

Sara, thank you so much! DD goes back to teacher #1 on Thursday.

Good to hear! I hope it goes well!