Prairie~Phlox Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I am a little disheartened. I know a large family and knew that they planned to send their children to high school once they reached it. I thought it was because they didn't feel comfortable teaching high school. I just found out it's because they want to expose them to real life while they are still at home and can discuss it with them. So their 15 year old does not want to go and this is a large high school that she has to attend. It just makes me sad that her parents would do that. I pray that she doesn't get bullied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I can think of better ways to interact with the 'Real World' TM (my aunt has that phrase trademarked :roll eyes:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 If I felt it was the best decision for them yes I would. I know many teens who are "made" to go to public school, I was one of them. I mean yes homeschooling is becoming more common but it is still the minority of teens that study high school at home, most go to public school whether they want to or not because their family feels it is the best decision for them. You may not agree with the reasoning of the family but their reasoning is not wrong, it's just different from yours. It sounds like the 15 year old is scared of the change to occur but I would not jump to think they may be bullied, just that this is something big and new. Lots of kids move from a small junior high to a big high school and have the very same worries so she may very well find a kindred spirit in her classes and do very well. I don't think choosing to expose their child to "real life" (in quotes because really, what is the life they were living before? make believe? ) when they can discuss how it fits with their world view etc is a bad thing, we all do that with our kids to some extent to prepare them for life after high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Quite the opposite. I'd make mine stay home and homeschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PachiSusan Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I would not force my child to go to a public school for high school if she was adamantly against it - especially if she had been home schooled the entire time. I don't think life is about throwing someone to the wolves and if they survive, they are "toughened up". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I personally wouldn't, but teens are forced to go to school all the time all over the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I'd be chary of it if there was an alternative, because the amount of resistance that a teenager can summon up has to be seen to be believed. I do think that going to school has been very good for Calvin. But if he had been unwilling, then I could have driven him to the gate but there's no way that I could have forced him to work. L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PachiSusan Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I personally wouldn't, but teens are forced to go to school all the time all over the world. I think this is different though. It sounds like the teen WANTS schooling, she just doesn't want to go outside to public school... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Not for the purpose of toughening him up. I can think of other reasons I might actually consider, but that's not one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I think this is different though. It sounds like the teen WANTS schooling, she just doesn't want to go outside to public school... Yes, and I wanted schooling and didn't want to go to boarding school. I didn't get a choice. I would never do that to my kids but at the same time, I survived. I'm not saying that I think it is ideal or that it might not have ramifications esp. in the relationship between the teen and her parent, but we don't know yet how the experience will pan out for her. She may go and have the time of her life. Or she might go and disengage from her parents and the parents might see it as the worst parenting decision they've ever made. Or she might go, have difficulty and the parents decide to homeschool her again. But the choice to put her in public high school, while having some negative possibilities, has some positive possibilities as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PachiSusan Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Yes, and I wanted schooling and didn't want to go to boarding school. I didn't get a choice. I would never do that to my kids but at the same time, I survived. I'm not saying that I think it is ideal or that it might not have ramifications esp. in the relationship between the teen and her parent, but we don't know yet how the experience will pan out for her. She may go and have the time of her life. Or she might go and disengage from her parents and the parents might see it as the worst parenting decision they've ever made. Or she might go, have difficulty and the parents decide to homeschool her again. But the choice to put her in public high school, while having some negative possibilities, has some positive possibilities as well. I agree with everything you said. What I have a problem with is the idea that she needs to be purposely "exposed" to the real world. This is just a general - not to you, Jean: Should we as parents sit our kids down in our lap and open up a Hustler Magazine and show pornography to them? Should we give them their first drink, their first high, be there to give them tips on their first sexual encounter? I just don't buy the "expose kids to what they might come across" thought process. However, like others have said, she is their daughter and they will do what they think is best for their child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I just don't buy the "expose kids to what they might come across" thought process. However, like others have said, she is their daughter and they will do what they think is best for their child. I do think that it is useful to 'stage' entry into the world. To go from a very uniform culture (of whatever kind) to a very diverse group (politically, socially, racially, sexually, by religion...) is a very steep learning curve. I'm happy that my boys have done that when I have been around to support them, rather than when they go off to college. I'm not in the 'well they have to learn sometime so they should be thrown to the wolves at six or eight or ten' camp. At fourteen, however, a movement towards coping with the lumps and bumps of society is probably good, whether by school or other means. But as I said, I wouldn't advocate forcing a late teenager into any educational situation - they have to work independently at that age and mules are more accommodating if they feel they are being forced. L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sisyphus Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 This is interesting to me, as one of Ds friends is being "made" to go to high school this year. He really doesn't want to go, and Ds, who is dual enrolled, feels strongly it is unjust to make him. But it's not our choice, obviously. Would I? I don't really know. If circumstances meant I thought he'd get the best education there, Maybe? I am a pretty big proponent of letting my kids choose their path, and so they are home schooled. If they wanted to go to school, I'd be fine with it. I don't see myself ever forcing one or the other, but I do see it as a parents right to do so. I have tried to articulate that to Ds, but he sees only the side of friend, as you'd expect. I won't lie, I am hoping they change their mind and allow the friend to home school! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 No, I personally wouldn't force a teen to go to high school if I were already in homeschooling mode. But I do understand and somewhat agree with their reasoning. I admit that a big part of me was glad when both of my boys chose to return to public high school. As homeschoolers we hate the dreaded "s" word, and with very good reasons. But by the time they reach high school, and college and the working world are looming close on the horizon, I do think there are benefits to exposing them to some of the things they can't be exposed to at home, and to letting/encouraging them to develop the type of independence that's sometimes hard to develop at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Yes. If I felt that homeschooling was not in my child's best interest, I would have them attend a brick&mortar school. Parents make decisions for their children and teens all the time. If they are good, caring, parents, they make those decisions as best as they can with the well being of their child in mind. I can see several reasons to send a previously homeschooled kid to high school. While I do not think that high school provides a great socialization, I could see that parents may find it a a necessary step for a teen who, they feel, may have grown up in too much isolation, with too few options to expand his horizons, in too uniform a cultural setting. "Exposing to the real world" to me is not just sex and drink. First and foremost it means encountering people with different views, lifestyles, political opinions, religious beliefs, socieoeconomic and ethnic backgrounds. Exposing a teen to THAT is very beneficial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie of KY Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I would "make" my child do what I thought best. For some decisions, I allow them to have a lot of input, other decisions I as the parent decide. As parents, we make decisions all through the years for our kids. When it is the same decision as the majority, then people don't think we are doing something wrong, but we must raise our kids to the best of our ability. I know many thought my decision to homeschool was "wrong". I have no intention to put my kids in school, but many who thought I was wrong to homeschool, would now say that I am wrong if I put my kids in public school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PachiSusan Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 "Exposing to the real world" to me is not just sex and drink. First and foremost it means encountering people with different views, lifestyles, political opinions, religious beliefs, socieoeconomic and ethnic backgrounds. Exposing a teen to THAT is very beneficial. I agree. However, I don't think that sending them to a brick and mortar high school is the only way to achieve that. I know you didn't say that, but sometimes I think that the general population DOES think that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I agree. However, I don't think that sending them to a brick and mortar high school is the only way to achieve that. I know you didn't say that, but sometimes I think that the general population DOES think that. Oh, I completely agree with you - that's why my kids do not attend public highschool. But apparently the student's parents think it would be best way for their child, and depending on their specific circumstances it might actually be the case. I obviously do not know the family and their situation, but I can envision situations where no other feasible avenues for this exist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 My children have to be educated, so if public high school was the only option, for whatever reason, yes, they would have to go. However, if I was still able to homeschool, and they wanted to continue homeschooling, I would not force them to go to public school - especially for the purpose of exposing them to real life. There are many, many ways to encounter real life without entering a public or private school. In fact, I'm not sure how much real life one gets in high school. My two oldest (one went to public high school for a while) transitioned to college with no major mishaps. Not all public school students transition easily to college either. To encounter real life, by itself, would not be reason to force my child into public high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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