Child not focusing on work...

[Lanette]

I have an 8 yr old son who is exceptionally intelligent. We homeschooled a two years ago and then moved to another school district. He always took FOREVER to get his schoolwork done and the frustration took everything out of me so I ended up caving in and putting him back in the public school system. All of his teachers have always remarked about how intelligent he is but they said he doesn't want to apply himself, nor does he stay focused on his school work. I have always had this same issue and I don't know what to do!!! This past school year, I had him evaluated for ADHD and the doctor diagnosed him as "borderline inattentive." He prescribed some medicine, but I would not use it because 1) I will NOT medicate my child unless it's a life or death issue and 2) I read horrible information and it has awful side effects. And it wasn't even manufactured to treat this issue. The school year hasn't even started and I'm already frustrated again. We're homeschooling again this year because his teachers say offensive things to him and it really hurts his feelings (and angers me). So I've tried to find more hands on things for curriculum, but he still has to do things like read, do spelling, language arts, etc. And he is not hyper, ill-behaved, crazy, and he does NOT have any sugar or any caffeine, nor is he allowed to sit and watch TV. He will sit down to work on a single worksheet and five minutes later, he's staring into open space. 

 

I've had him do a couple pages out of a workbook over the summer to keep his mind sharp. And anytime he's done school work at home, I've always put him in a corner where NOTHING can distract him and I can't do laundry or cleaning or anything (nobody can say a word within hearing distance) because he gets distracted and stares across the room or just at the wall! And then he'll say he doesn't understand the directions. This has been an ongoing thing. I haven't been very sympathetic, however. I don't know if I should go easy on him or if he's just trying his best to get out of doing his work. 

 

However, he's going into the third grade and I've been looking through some of his books and if he doesn't start applying himself, then he won't be able to do any work. I'm not sure if this is a clear act of disobedience or if there really is an issue. When I was a kid, if my teacher ever caught me daydreaming, I got in BIG trouble! Lol! :) 

 

Does anyone have any ideas to either improve his focus or any advice on anything else here?? :/

[Mom2TheTeam]

I don't really have any advice, but my almost 8 year old son is the same way.  I have 6 kids who are all 7 and under and I can't do anything else while he is working or he won't work.  It's very frustrating.  But, from my understanding it really is not that unusual for 8 year old boys.  I have started something every now and then where I'll ask him to finish the math sheet (or spelling or whatever) while I change a diaper or whatever.  If he does finish, he gets a mark on the whiteboard and gets to read for an extra 5 minutes before going to sleep.  I did 5 because they could add up quickly and I don't want him up for an extra 30+ minutes, but you could do more.  The incentive seems to help a lot.  Mostly though, I've just learned to accept this is who he is and I have to sit with him for now.  I've tried to relax about it.  (Though, I do still get frustrated.)

[asmall]

My daughter has trouble focusing on her work. What has helped her is listening to music. She listens to music that is for learning and is about 60 beats per minute. She does this with headphones. It has been night and day with the difference in her school work. We bought our music from advanced brain technologies, but there are lots of places that sell music to help you focus.

AL

[WishboneDawn]

If this has been going on for years then no, it's likely not an obedience issue.

 

I dealt with inattention issues as a child and have a son who has them. You have to work with him. You cannot give him work and walk away. You have to be patient and supportive.

 

You can start by looking at advice for dealing with ADD kids. There's lots on the internet and your local library probably has some good books. I've seen Smart But Scattered recommended here. Research strategies that other parents use.

 

Sit by him as he works so you can redirect him when his mind wanders. Kindly and patiently trap the page or say his name. Use a timer for tasks but make sure you breakthem into smaller tasks, 5 minutes for one exercise on a worksheet, 10 for the rest. Small stickers when he completes a page help keep focus on the task.

 

Reconsider meds if things aren't working out. If you're not comfortable with the one you're doctor prescribed, let him know. Be careful when looking at side effects. They can be scary to consider but they're often fairly rare and should be balanced with possible benefit. There is real and lasting harm in the constant failure a child with focus problems experiences that many parents don't understand or give enough weight too when they're considering the cost and benefit of medication.

[PeterPan]

I'm on my phone so ill be brief. He can work. Ditch the workbooks, ALL of them. Come post on the SN/LC forum. You CAN get this to work. And reread his eval. Look at processing speed. He should not be left alone to work. You have to change YOUR expectations about speed, working style, and what's realistic. More later. :)

[texasmama]

If he is very bright, he might be bored with the materials, particularly worksheets.

[Mandy in TN]

Also, on my phone and keeping it brief. Obviously, worksheets do not work with this child and you have said he is very bright. With those two things in mind, I am going to agree with others. Ditch the workbooks and purchase more challenging curriculum!

 

Sure, use a spelling lists if you want, but say the word aloud and have him spell it with tiles on the frig. Sure, have him do sentences with the words, but let him do them orally. I have never used RightStart games, but that might be a math option. There are tons of hands-on science options. Winston Grammar is a good hands- on grammar option. Keep it as interactive as possible.

 

In addition to the SN board ask over on the accelerated board.

HTH-

Mandy

[Lanette]

I really appreciate all of the responses from everyone. I'm going to address everyone separately because there were comments and/or questions that I had from each post. 

 

Mom2TheTeam: I have also been told that this is common for boys around this age. But then I get terrified when I see grown men still suffering from a short attention span. LOL! When the summer started, I started stockpiling little prizes for both of my boys. I've already told them about those things and I've told them that if they get their work done in a reasonable amount of time. My 6 yr old doesn't have issues with inattentiveness surprisingly. I've gotten better at the frustration, but I always try not to show it. Sometimes I fail and sometimes I don't. :/ 

 

asmall: I'm looking up that music. My son LOVES classical music! And you did give me another idea. When he was a baby, he would only go to sleep (without a fight) if he could listen to his little Baby Einstein CD. lol Thank you for your suggestion! 

 

WishboneDawn: Thank you for your insightful comments. I'm a lot better now at being supportive and patient. But I still have my days. :) My son is ADD and I'm OCD. Does anyone else think God has a sense of humor?! Lol But I guess the joke is on me. :/ Lol My husband was also diagnosed as "borderline ADD" when he was a child and I've read that ADD (ADHD...whatever it's called these days...) is passed from the father's side. And earlier when I said he took forever to do his work, I mean he would take several (4-5) hours to do ONE subject. Also, I don't leave him alone to do his work. I have another child to teach and their desks are in the corner of the living room so I can stay with them both at the same time. While sitting down, they will have their backs to eachother. And I was planning on having him take breaks after finishing an assignment or section on a page or something and letting him go run around outside or go build something. He loves building. :) And I tried the sticker charts... They worked at first as an incentive, then he was staring into space again... Again, thank you for your advice. My biggest fear is that he won't learn anything because he's SO forgetful! I probably sound like a horrible parent. I don't ever call him names or criticize him, but I am impatient a lot. Tomorrow I'm going to our public library and checking out every ADD/ADHD book I can find relating to kids. Lol 

 

OhElizabeth: Wow, you were so fast and brief that I think a hundred questions popped up in my head! Lol! Okay, not literally. First, what will ditching the workbooks accomplish? And what is the SN/LC forum? And what evaluation are you referring to? When I had him evaluated for ADD, the dr. had me fill out paperwork which asked questions (most of which were "no") and the dr and I sat in an examination room for about 5-10 minutes and he went off of my judgement and diagnosed my son as "borderline inattentive." I didn't like the fact that my opinion held so much weight in a medical decision that later caused a prescription for a controlled substance. What exactly is processing speed? You caused me to remember something he got in trouble for at school this past year. He missed a problem on a math sheet... He had the right ANSWER, but he missed it because he didn't show his work. I thought that was a little ridiculous. I asked him why he missed it and he said, "Because I didn't show my work." The child can do double digit addition in his head, but that didn't matter to the teacher. Is that what you're referring to?? Lol I just want my son to learn what he's supposed to... I don't care how he does it. But I don't think he needs to take several hours to finish one task and that's how it's been. I mean, I would be satisfied with just one hour for a worksheet! And while we're on the subject of books... You advised me to get rid of the workbooks... I think this is a unique situation. My son is obviously a boy who learns better through hands-on activities. But he LOVES to read, LOVES history and gets SO excited when he gets new school books and gets to do work out of them. However, looking at the books and doing all of the work is two different things. :) He enjoys going to the library and picking out books (about Abraham Lincoln, for example, his favorite historical figure) that he is SO excited about. But... a week later, he hasn't read a page of the book. To remedy that issue, I am planning on reading to him or having him read out loud. He stays on task better if he reads out loud. 

 

 

[Lanette]

Also, on my phone and keeping it brief. Obviously, worksheets do not work with this child and you have said he is very bright. With those two things in mind, I am going to agree with others. Ditch the workbooks and purchase more challenging curriculum!

 

Sure, use a spelling lists if you want, but say the word aloud and have him spell it with tiles on the frig. Sure, have him do sentences with the words, but let him do them orally. I have never used RightStart games, but that might be a math option. There are tons of hands-on science options. Winston Grammar is a good hands- on grammar option. Keep it as interactive as possible.

 

In addition to the SN board ask over on the accelerated board.

HTH-

Mandy

 

Thank you so much! I had been trying to think of ways to do stuff like spelling and grammar without using books, but I couldn't think of anything. I'm trying to think of ways to make it through this year and not cause anyone any trauma... 

[Starr]

It's hard to hear but you may have to do more orally, together, you sitting beside him, only a couple of problems on a page at a time, card games, geography puzzles.... Check out Peace Hill Press. I found several things that worked well.   :grouphug:

[Mandy in TN]

I have homeschooled two that have graduated and have a 10yo ds and we have never owned a desk. Toss that desk, along with the workbooks, and interact with him. I am willing to bet that he will finish more quickly.

 

If he likes to read, get Sonlight for history and let him do it on the couch, or the floor, or while bouncing up and down on a giant exercise ball, or while pacing.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[texasmama]

I agree with Mandy. Here we have no desks, and my boys still do a lot of work orally. They read on my bed, we do math on the couch, and they may do work on the floor. No big deal. I've done read alouds outside. Be creative. It's supposed to be fun at this age. :)

[Ellie]

If he is very bright, he might be bored with the materials, particularly worksheets.

 

:iagree:

 

I am always surprised that people are puzzled because bright children are not motivated to do school work in general, worksheets in particular. Because really, I cannot think of anything less interesting than doing schoolwork.

 

Children want to learn. They come out of the womb full of curiosity and eagerness to learn. It is our job as adults to help them learn as much as they can, in as many ways as possible. We have the freedom as homeschoolers to find those ways instead of just imitating a classroom environment, especially when it's clear that our children are not willing to sit in that classroom.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I highly recommend Superparenting for ADD and The Myth of ADD. In one of those books is a side by side list of weaknesses correlated to strengths. I recommend copying that and putting it in a prominent place in your HS planner, because it is time to start focusing on the positive. And there is a lot of positive! Also, do a search for "VSL" (visual-spatial learner) on the boards and see if that sounds like your DS. If so, keep reading, and check out Upside Down Brilliance and Right-Brained Children in a Left Brained World.

 

Engage, engage, engage. These kids need to be engaged! Here, skill needs to be applied, not rote. The more hands-on, the better. The more integrated the curriculum, the better. The more field trips... Well, you get you picture.

[Laura Corin]

I sat beside my children at that age to redirect as necessary.  They slowly became more able to concentrate and do fine now.

 

I agree with the PPs that it's important to make sure that the level is correct and the mode of instruction varied.  I used text books for several subjects but varied how I used them: some work was done orally, some with me as scribe, some written by them...

 

L

[go_go_gadget]

I was almost at the breaking point last year with my DD, who was taking 45 minutes to do a single addition problem, with only the last ten seconds of that time actually being used to solve the problem. I finally (I have no idea why it took so long to occur to me to do this) gave her the book for the next level, and she completed all the chapter tests (Singapore) for the first half of the next level in half an hour, and went through the second half in about two weeks. So basically, it wasn't at all that she wasn't capable of focusing; she was bored out of her mind. Think of it like friction: a car needs exactly the right amount of friction to be driveable: too much friction makes a slow and bumpy ride, but too little friction will leave the car skittering all over the place (just like kids' attention spans when things are too easy--too little friction!). Finding that friction/challenge sweet spot is tricky--and a moving target--but it's essential. 

 

My DS8 would throw a fit if I handed him regular workbooks, but he does enjoy Beast Academy, which should be about your son's level. But other than WWS, my son doesn't do any other workbooks. He's developed much greater independence in the last few months, but it's taken a lot of work from both of us to figure out what works and what doesn't to make that possible. I think you could easily ditch all workbooks for a while and learn exclusively through reading, games, and discussion, and then you try adding in something engaging like BA. Good luck!

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Edited b/c upon re-reading the thread I find that others had made the same points. :) I hope you'll explore the possibilities, OP, because with homeschooling you can try other ways to learn with no one to stop you.

[regentrude]

My first thought when you mentioned that he is exceptionally intelligent was that he is probably bored because he is using material that is not challenging. Are you using grade level materials designed for average 8 year olds? Lots of worksheets and busy work? You may have the cause right there.

I suggest you read up on gifted education.

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/

is a good place to start. Your son might need more interaction, more freedom, and a more interesting materials. Not "schoolish" stuff. If he can read, just have him read interesting books, he'll learn more from them than from "curriculum". An exceptionally intelligent child does not need worksheets to "keep his mind sharp". His mind is probably so sharp that the worksheet bores him to death and is useless busywork.

You mentioned gettig more hands-on materials: they may solve the problem, but they also may not; not all children are hands-on learners (mine never were).

I recommend you check out the accelerated learner forum where many of the uers have gifted children and all the issues that come with it.

[kiwik]

I really appreciate all of the responses from everyone. I'm going to address everyone separately because there were comments and/or questions that I had from each post.

 

Mom2TheTeam: I have also been told that this is common for boys around this age. But then I get terrified when I see grown men still suffering from a short attention span. LOL! When the summer started, I started stockpiling little prizes for both of my boys. I've already told them about those things and I've told them that if they get their work done in a reasonable amount of time. My 6 yr old doesn't have issues with inattentiveness surprisingly. I've gotten better at the frustration, but I always try not to show it. Sometimes I fail and sometimes I don't. :/

 

asmall: I'm looking up that music. My son LOVES classical music! And you did give me another idea. When he was a baby, he would only go to sleep (without a fight) if he could listen to his little Baby Einstein CD. lol Thank you for your suggestion!

 

WishboneDawn: Thank you for your insightful comments. I'm a lot better now at being supportive and patient. But I still have my days. :) My son is ADD and I'm OCD. Does anyone else think God has a sense of humor?! Lol But I guess the joke is on me. :/ Lol My husband was also diagnosed as "borderline ADD" when he was a child and I've read that ADD (ADHD...whatever it's called these days...) is passed from the father's side. And earlier when I said he took forever to do his work, I mean he would take several (4-5) hours to do ONE subject. Also, I don't leave him alone to do his work. I have another child to teach and their desks are in the corner of the living room so I can stay with them both at the same time. While sitting down, they will have their backs to eachother. And I was planning on having him take breaks after finishing an assignment or section on a page or something and letting him go run around outside or go build something. He loves building. :) And I tried the sticker charts... They worked at first as an incentive, then he was staring into space again... Again, thank you for your advice. My biggest fear is that he won't learn anything because he's SO forgetful! I probably sound like a horrible parent. I don't ever call him names or criticize him, but I am impatient a lot. Tomorrow I'm going to our public library and checking out every ADD/ADHD book I can find relating to kids. Lol

 

OhElizabeth: Wow, you were so fast and brief that I think a hundred questions popped up in my head! Lol! Okay, not literally. First, what will ditching the workbooks accomplish? And what is the SN/LC forum? And what evaluation are you referring to? When I had him evaluated for ADD, the dr. had me fill out paperwork which asked questions (most of which were "no") and the dr and I sat in an examination room for about 5-10 minutes and he went off of my judgement and diagnosed my son as "borderline inattentive." I didn't like the fact that my opinion held so much weight in a medical decision that later caused a prescription for a controlled substance. What exactly is processing speed? You caused me to remember something he got in trouble for at school this past year. He missed a problem on a math sheet... He had the right ANSWER, but he missed it because he didn't show his work. I thought that was a little ridiculous. I asked him why he missed it and he said, "Because I didn't show my work." The child can do double digit addition in his head, but that didn't matter to the teacher. Is that what you're referring to?? Lol I just want my son to learn what he's supposed to... I don't care how he does it. But I don't think he needs to take several hours to finish one task and that's how it's been. I mean, I would be satisfied with just one hour for a worksheet! And while we're on the subject of books... You advised me to get rid of the workbooks... I think this is a unique situation. My son is obviously a boy who learns better through hands-on activities. But he LOVES to read, LOVES history and gets SO excited when he gets new school books and gets to do work out of them. However, looking at the books and doing all of the work is two different things. :) He enjoys going to the library and picking out books (about Abraham Lincoln, for example, his favorite historical figure) that he is SO excited about. But... a week later, he hasn't read a page of the book. To remedy that issue, I am planning on reading to him or having him read out loud. He stays on task better if he reads out loud.

Not Oh Elizabeth but SN/LC board is the special needs/ learning challenges board - you should be ableto get hints on ADD techniques there. Processing speed you would have got if your son had had a full assessment by a psychologist or such rather than a questionairre at the doctor's. Workbooks often don't work that well for very bright or gifted kids who simply don't need to do the same amount of repetition.

[Ellie]

So basically, it wasn't at all that she wasn't capable of focusing; she was bored out of her mind. Think of it like friction: a car needs exactly the right amount of friction to be driveable: too much friction makes a slow and bumpy ride, but too little friction will leave the car skittering all over the place (just like kids' attention spans when things are too easy--too little friction!). Finding that friction/challenge sweet spot is tricky--and a moving target--but it's essential. 

 

 

Children, because they are children, can't always articulate the reasons that they do things. They can't say, "Mother, this is far too easy for me. Might I have something more challenging? Thank you so much." And they know that they will have to do the work anyway, because their parents say they must. So they will just....p.o.k.e. a.l.o.n.g.

[PeterPan]

Aron super fast here. Demand full evals.

[PeterPan]

Add: it's not a medical problem and its not a Ritalin deficiency. (Though there can be medical components like sensory.) it's a learning DIFFERENCE.

 

Be fully engaged yourself and work for brief sessions. EvAls will show you how they THINK, making you a better teacher (assuming good psych). LAbel means nothing. You got an EF survey. Could be anything from wrong to incomplete . Get full evals, read, work WITH them. Every time you say they're being bad/slow/lazy change YOUR end. The goal is not to give meds so they can fit your paradigm. They goAl is to change your pAradigm so they can succeed and thrive. Change to fit them and watch them bloom. Normal is BORING. :)

[PeterPan]

Ps I'm not anti meds, just anti meds without full understanding and changes.

[Maela]

I am a newbie, my kids are slightly younger than yours, and I haven't read all of the replies; but your son sounds a lot like my daughter. Last year didn't go very well for us, but this year (so far!) has been going wonderfully. This is what's helped us:

 

We did not ditch the workbooks, but:

I do not expect her to work on her own. I find something to occupy DS and then give dd my full attention.

When her mind wanders, I gently say her name. (I understand the frustration you're talking about. A big goal of mine this year is to work on my patience!)

I made sure she was working at the appropriate level for her abilities. So grammar and spelling are at a third grade level, we're reading third and fourth grade level books together, math is first grade but we're flying through it because i know it's boring her, writing is at a first grade level.

We do a lot of the pages orally.

I don't make her do all the problems on the page (especially for math), if it's obvious she's got it.

I only have her work in ten - fifteen minute increments for no more than 1.5 hours a day (she's six).

[DianeW88]

I've been homeschooling for 19 years, and have graduated two of my three kids.  They are both currently attending two different universities on full-ride scholarships.  We never used workbooks at all with the exception of math, and my children never sat at a desk even once.  Throw those nasty workbooks away.  Children don't learn from them and they are a huge waste of time.  If you don't believe me, quiz your child on the material from a workbook he used last year.  I can pretty much guarantee you he didn't retain any of it.  And if your child is above average intelligence (my youngest is gifted), they are even worse.

 

As homeschoolers, we have the opportunity to truly educate our children...not just have them complete workbooks.  Go outside, learn in different places, take lots of field trips, hang out in the library, use DVDs, spend time on interesting and interactive websites, get a very hands-on curriculum (we use Konos), do nature study every day, paint, draw, make messes, do experiments, and most importantly have fun.  Education should not be passive.  Ever.

[PeterPan]

I've been homeschooling for 19 years, and have graduated two of my three kids.  They are both currently attending two different universities on full-ride scholarships.  We never used workbooks at all with the exception of math, and my children never sat at a desk even once.  Throw those nasty workbooks away.  Children don't learn from them and they are a huge waste of time.  If you don't believe me, quiz your child on the material from a workbook he used last year.  I can pretty much guarantee you he didn't retain any of it.  And if your child is above average intelligence (my youngest is gifted), they are even worse.

 

As homeschoolers, we have the opportunity to truly educate our children...not just have them complete workbooks.  Go outside, learn in different places, take lots of field trips, hang out in the library, use DVDs, spend time on interesting and interactive websites, get a very hands-on curriculum (we use Konos), do nature study every day, paint, draw, make messes, do experiments, and most importantly have fun.  Education should not be passive.  Ever.

 

You know, this is why I love the boards, because you're surrounded by this cloud of witnesses who can say YES you can diverge and do things differently and it's BETTER even.

 

It takes so much COURAGE to shake things up and work with your child.  The simplest thing would be to stick to your guns and say no, WTM says this, or this is what I planned, do it, cuz that's how it's done.  But there's SO much beyond.  

 

I think it's telling that Maela says yes, she used a workbook, then explains that she didn't use the workbook LIKE IT WAS INTENDED.  The ONLY workbook that has worked well for us in 10 years (10? 9? whatever) was the uber-short sentence parsing workbook for Shurley.  And even then, we did the rest of Shurley orally and with a whiteboard.  3 of the exercise is enough *if* they're actually engaged.  When it has more, they just totally turn their brains off.  And workbooks tend to be their *weakest* modality.  If you have a dominantly kinesthetic boy, WHY would he be likely to learn well via a visual sequential workbook?!?!  Most adhd kids are also VSL.  Workbooks are sequential.  There's NO WAY a workbook is approaching the topic the way that child thinks.  VSL and right-brain dominant means he inherently thinks a different way.  So when you step it up and interact with him instead, you can connect with him, make sure he's engaged, ask better questions, etc.  

 

On the testing, you'll come over to the SN/LC board (where there are lots of people with high IQ kids btw, no need to feel it's saying something negative about your dc) and read all kinds of threads, book lists, etc.  I've filled out that EF survey you did a number of times now, and you are totally correct that it can vary with your mood, how strongly certain things are bugging you, etc.  Want a joke?  By the time we got our neuropsych eval, we had made so many changes, when I filled out the EF form (for the nth time) there were no complaints.  I'm mean seriously, we changed how we live, how we interact, what we expect, and we already had eliminated the things that scored her a certain way.  That's why you go to a psych, because they can parse more than a jack of all trades doctor whose specialty is colds and intestines.  

 

Go to somebody who understands the brain.  Let them test him properly.  Let them tell you if it's an EF curve skewed by extremely high IQ (which can happen) or something you weren't even considering or adhd or what.  Let them build your confidence on changes you can make to teach him better.  Take your time and pick a psych who's KNOWN for being helpful like this.  Don't rush.  Slow down and get the word on the street for somebody who gives long reports and incredibly good suggestions.  Some take your money, slap a label, and leave you hanging.  Some give you 30 page reports and change your lives with their ideas.  Our psych was right in the middle, with a 6 page report and several hours of time afterward with me going through every question I had.  AWESOME experience, so cathartic.  He gave me advice I think through every. single. day.  No joke.  I walked in with video footage (of me trying to teach her xyz) and said explain this by the end.  It was what *I* needed to be a better teacher.  As you say, the *labels* aren't helpful.  But the breakdowns and guidance from someone who has worked with kids like yours, that will be IMMEASURABLY helpful.

 

And for now, while you're researching and sorting things out, I'll toss out a few reading suggestions.  I think it's good to read across labels (since I'm not a fan of the DSM and think it splits hairs on things that overlap and aren't fully understood), so I'm going to suggest to you (looking for extremes here mind you, not saying it's all gospel):

 

-Bright Not Broken--see the overlap 

-Right Side of Normal--see how far you could go toward working WITH him and how positive you could make your home

-Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World--very practical

-anything by Holloway--even more practical

-Dyslexic Advantage--told you to read across labels! They did MRIs of these kids and talk about the brain structure, WHY they love history and narratives, how they think, etc.  This will BLOW YOUR MIND and revolutionize your teaching.  Dyslexia and adhd used to be lumped together.  Don't skip.

 

Like I said, I *don't* agree with everything in all those books (especially Gaddis, whom I've publicly disagreed with here on the forums and on her yahoo group over a couple issues relating to therapy), but I DO think it's very important to look at lots of perspectives.  After a while you get more pictures of what "adhd" CAN look like, how normal and healthy and productive it CAN be if you let it.  It's not a combat situation or a ritalin-deficiency.  It's just not.  It CAN be connected to diet, omega 3, etc.  It IS sometimes accompanied by other things (sensory, etc. etc.).  Your kid MAY benefit from more evals.  If you blow off everything as adhd, you may miss some things that ARE treatable.  I DON'T like the label adhd.  I like concrete things: processing speed, working memory, brain structure, why they are bent toward such and such.  Adhd is vegetable soup and doesn't tell you much.

 

Oh, and about the results of that EF survey, well you can actually DO something about that.  That's the mess of the ped diagnosis.  He KEPT you from searching further and getting the actual ANSWERS about what's going on.  With that information, you might have made a very different decision from just the slap on meds that he recommended.  I understand you decided not to at this time.  I'm just saying that system bugs me, a system that takes people and just slaps meds on them if they don't fit.  Get on the conveyor belt.  Fit OR ELSE we will drug you and medicate you.  We will not modify, we will not change.  The system cannot change and the child must bend.  The joke is, these kids are often AMAZING when you unleash them and do amazing stuff.  

[Tracy]

I have a dd8 that is exactly like that.  It is absolutely not an obedience issue, but I treated it like one for a long time.  Please do not go down the road of expecting him to rise to the occasion.  I did this with my dd, and now we not only have attention and slow processing issues, but also self-confidence issues. :crying:  The book Smart but Scattered was a really big help to me.  It made me see that I had a child that was 1-2 years ahead academically but 2-3 years behind in executive skills.  It helped me to develop a plan for how to teach her where she is while beginning to build those executive skills.