Julie Smith Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I didn't! :leaving: I :001_wub: my MIL. I didn't either. My MIL wouldn't have carried one way or another. Mind you it was a smaller wedding 100 people total (including everyone) and was a double wedding. My husband's sister got married also. So each bride or groom at the party got to invite 24 people total, including wedding party. So I personally got a chance to talk to everyone one on one the next day and thank them for any presents. Dh got to do the same. The day after the wedding we went to his you to open presents and visit with his family, then for dinner we went my parents house and opened presents from my family and visited with them. The next day we drove the 5 hours home and got ready for work the next day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 UPDATE: I did text DIL and ask if I offended her in any way. She replied back absolutely not and that she spaced out asking me to the rehearsal and dinner....I am going to accept that. The wedding did go off just fine and it was beautiful. I will not be a meddling MIL and I will just leave the explanation at that. :thumbup1: My DH says all the time, "Take the high road, you'll be glad you did..." and "Always give people the benefit of the doubt". (And yes, he says those things all the time because I need to be REMINDED all the time!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Good job, new MIL. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liberty Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Thanks everyone. I was not told when/where to show up to the rehearsal and yes, there was one according to facebook Is it possible her only invitation was through facebook and she believes you were invited but now you are a no-show? I learned this the hard way recently when a good friend's daughter had her open house and I failed to check "events" in facebook and assumed I'd been snubbed. She later told me she had sent a blanket invitation via facebook and was shocked I hadn't come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Is it possible her only invitation was through facebook and she believes you were invited but now you are a no-show? I learned this the hard way recently when a good friend's daughter had her open house and I failed to check "events" in facebook and assumed I'd been snubbed. She later told me she had sent a blanket invitation via facebook and was shocked I hadn't come. I'm on FB every day and I still miss events sometimes. I just don't think to check and if it scrolls off the front page it might not exist to me :-/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 :thumbup1: My DH says all the time, "Take the high road, you'll be glad you did..." and "Always give people the benefit of the doubt". (And yes, he says those things all the time because I need to be REMINDED all the time!) Most excellent advice IMHO! I am glad the wedding went very well and you enjoyed yourself. Someone else here wrote that things get a bit crazy and the most obvious gets overlooked. This may have well been the case. There is a lifetime ahead of them - this was just one day in their lives. No reason to let this one incident color all the years to come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Well you should have!! Just joking - sort of. I think it is really a good thing to write thank-yous for wedding presents. My nephew and nil didn't and I must admit I was sad they didn't. I think part of the problem was that things were disorganised when they opened the gifts and they weren't sure who gave what. I think this is a shame for them because I still enjoy using something we got as a wedding gift and thinking about the person who gave it to me - and that's 17 years later. We got most of our thank you notes out. I know there were a few that were missed. Items I didn't have an address for and didn't go far enough trying to find the address. And a few that I wasn't sure who they came from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I forgot, I did send out thank you notes. Even ones for DH's side of the family and his friends. My cousin knew me to well and her wedding gift to me was she would collect the present list from the people she arranged to take them and send out nice handwritten thank you notes on my behalf. ETA: I think she even send one out to her mother on my behalf. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sunny1 Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 I'm in a similar situation as this mother of the groom. I was under the impression parents of groom plan and host the rehearsal dinner and my son asked us to pay for it. We agreed to pay for whatever they want and I'm offering to do some decorations and tealights, etc. Son informed me everything has to be approved by his future wife... okay I'm good with that. I've sent her pictures of decorations, tealights, etc.... to let her choose what she likes and I get no response. Every question I ask my son gets a vague response like " we're not sure of the date of this or that" or " there's no rush " . I'm not interfering with their wedding plans.. that's her and mother's decision, but I would to be involved in the rehearsal dinner planning... other than just getting the bill. Am I way off base on this ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyB in TN Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 The only thing I can think of is that maybe they are sort of 'partying' with their friends who are in the wedding instead of doing the traditional thing. Maybe kicking back after the rehearsal and having a few beers isn't as comfortable with mom around? I'm so sorry your feelings are hurt. That is cruddy. Oops! Just read the rest of the posts and updates. Good for you! So happy it went great! Now to continue mentioning that eloping is fun to my kids.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 I can't believe I read the whole thread, got emotionally involved, and liked about two dozen posts and its a zombie thread. I usually remember to check the date of the OP but I forgot this time. *smacks forehead* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 I'm in a similar situation as this mother of the groom. I was under the impression parents of groom plan and host the rehearsal dinner and my son asked us to pay for it. We agreed to pay for whatever they want and I'm offering to do some decorations and tealights, etc. Son informed me everything has to be approved by his future wife... okay I'm good with that. I've sent her pictures of decorations, tealights, etc.... to let her choose what she likes and I get no response. Every question I ask my son gets a vague response like " we're not sure of the date of this or that" or " there's no rush " . I'm not interfering with their wedding plans.. that's her and mother's decision, but I would to be involved in the rehearsal dinner planning... other than just getting the bill. Am I way off base on this ?You are not off base at all. I did not let my DIL in on any of the rehearsal dinner plans. It was my party and my money. In retrospect, I should have as the rehearsal dinner was way more fancy and elaborate than the reception. It looked tacky like I was trying to out do the bride's family. You should get at least 6 to 8 week leeway to plan this event. Start telling the bride you need a date, wedding venue (so you can plan your event close) and actual time of rehearsal. Then just do what you want. As for numbers, plan #of grandparents, parents and stepparents, brothers and sisters,one and a half times the number in the wedding party (for spouses and girlfriends). Then decide if you want all the out of town guests invited, too. My DS did, so we had about 80 to 100 attend the rehearsal dinner which I had in my backyard. Out of town guests can quadruple your guest list and budget so be careful, as you know. Obviously, it would be better if the bride communicated better with her own plans, but if she is a slacker do not let it make your own party look hodge podge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyB in TN Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 I can't believe I read the whole thread, got emotionally involved, and liked about two dozen posts and its a zombie thread. I usually remember to check the date of the OP but I forgot this time. *smacks forehead* Me, too! I really have work to do and am getting up to do it now..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Zombie thread..... Mmmmm braaiiinns...off to mow the lawn now. :) Welcome to our homeschooling community forum, sunni1. I would start sending hose bills back to future dil, stating that this dinner sounds like their own party and not the rehearsal dinner, therefore she is responsible for the bill. She must not understand that she is marrying into the family, not just her future husband. Sometimes it takes a young bride awhile to get this figured out; hopefully she will catch on very soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Now that the one year anniversary is approaching, I wonder how the OP's relationship with her DIL is. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sunny1 Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 thanks so much to everyone who replied... I guess they're more into pleasing their friends than the Mother of the groom... lonely out here for a mother of the groom.. hard to know where you fit in ... never had any problems with my son before this... we've had a wonderful relationaship up to now. they're both nice people.. but they are hurting my feelings by leaving me out of everything... good to vent .. and hear your advice... thanks ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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