Does this sound concerning to you?

[lea1]

I have been concerned about one of my sons (son1 - 7.5 YO) for a while now and I am thinking we need to have him evaluated but I'm not sure where to start. He was recently diagnosed with OCD so we were just getting started with a child psychologist for his OCD but then son2's (also 7.5 YO - both adopted from Russia at 14/15.5 months; not bio related) anger problems took center stage because it was impacting the whole family and the OCD was put on the back burner for a little while (we have some tools to help him with the OCD so we are still working on it).

 

We are in the middle of an OT evaluation with son2, as he really hates to write (there are definitely issues there with his fine motor skills but we have another round of testing before we are finished). When I was filling out some of the paper work for son2, I kept thinking so many of the things sounded more like issues that son1 has and I know we need to have him evaluated.

 

It is very overwhelming right now because it seems it is all needing attention at once and we are paying cash for the counseling and OT evals, so it is also getting very expensive quickly. Anyway, I made a list of concerns for son1 and wanted to post them to see if this resonates with anyone. I would like to know what we are dealing with so maybe I could start researching it beforehand. I am very concerned for son1 from a social standpoint. Following is the list.

 

--Talks excessively, interrupts a lot, not socially aware, seems to cry easily, frequently loses things, is a walking tornado (leaves messes everywhere he goes, does not like to clean up.

 

--Has a very low tolerance for pain and wants lots of attention and sympathy for the smallest injury (even if there is no sign of injury).

 

--Seems to need to be the center of attention. (“does anyone notice that I am here?†“Is anyone paying attention to me?â€)

 

--Frequently says things that are so inappropriate (rude, hurtful, etc.) but he thinks he is being funny or clever. Seems like every thought that enters his head comes out his mouth without any filtering.

 

--Will smile or laugh at inappropriate times, like when he has been rude or hurtful and someone tells him it wasn't a nice thing to say or do.

 

--Is extremely competitive. Always has to be first, although so does other son so maybe this is just an age thing. Brags a lot and wants to show off in front of others...will say that he was showing off or that he is going to do something to show off to someone.

 

--When playing outside, frequently comes back in to get something, staying for long periods. Brother is always poking head in to ask him if he is coming back out. Often he is dressing up as something (police man, cowboy, etc.).

 

--When group of kids are playing together, he is frequently returning to adults, interrupting the conversation to tell what he has done (something he thought was clever, funny, etc.)

 

--When playing with his brother and a neighbor boy, he is always the odd man out and he complains about it but he does things to make it so, such as leaving them to come home or come into the house to get something, dress up as something or tell me something, or he just decides to come in and play with his Legos for a while, sometimes going back out a little later to play with them again.

 

--Is more interested in playing with another child’s toys than actually playing with the child.

 

--Does not seem to be hyper but does switch from one activity to another fairly often. Although he can read well, does not have the patience to sit and read for very long, unless it is Star Wars related. When I am reading a book aloud, he always loses interest before his brother. Frequently makes silly mistakes in math.

 

--I have seen him get up during a movie, get dressed up as one of the movie characters, run outside and pretend he is the character for a while, then run back in and continue watching the movie, even though he missed some of it.

 

--Is always very passionate about one or two things. It has been Legos and Star Wars for quite some time now, although he takes short times away from these to play/pretend other things when something else catches his attention.

 

--Is very intelligent and learns things quickly. Has a great vocabulary and will use big-ish words that he has only heard once or twice before.

[ktgrok]

honestly...most of those just sound like a boy.

 

I mean sure...some could be Asperger's like...but it would depend on how extreme. honestly, sounds like a fairly normal kid to me. Maybe more anxious than normal, which would go with the OCD.

[Miss Marple]

honestly...most of those just sound like a boy.

 

I mean sure...some could be Asperger's like...but it would depend on how extreme. honestly, sounds like a fairly normal kid to me. Maybe more anxious than normal, which would go with the OCD.

 

 

I agree. All of my boys exhibited those behaviors at some point in time. Some were more pronounced due to personality but each of the the behaviors listed were present as my boys grew and matured.

 

I think you are wise to continue with the OCD evaluation.

 

[Miss Mousie]

I am no expert by any stretch, but some of it sounds fairly typical for a boy that age (especially learning to navigate the social landscape). Other things, taken together, sound a bit like giftedness. Have you looked into Dabrowski's overexciteabilities?

 

Here is a link to an explanation, in case the idea is new to you: http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10102.aspx

[Violet Crown]

Maybe these are all just normal-for-a-boy behaviors. But if your gut tells you something is wrong, get an evaluation.

 

Been there, done that. Trust your mommy instincts.

[lea1]

My biggest concern is his people skills. I am very concerned that he is never going to have any friends. He really is such a great kid, can be very sweet and funny but, generally, I am usually cringing inside when I observe him in social situations.

[Laurie4b]

I would ask on the special needs board.

 

If people skills are an issue of concern, believe your gut. I would look into some kind of therapeutic playgroup. Our church has an inclusive playgroup for kids with social skills challenges mixed with those without social skills challenges with a very high ratio of trained adult volunteers supervising the play. We see great gains!

[OrganicAnn]

I could be just his personality. But it could be his personality combined with something else. I would look at Aspergers and also Non Verbal Learning Disorder. But even if you think he has a little of one or the other, I wouldn't assume until you have a professional evaluate him. there are lots of symptoms that overlap in these areas, so it is easy to mistake what is going on.

[Sisyphus]

My add child fits a great many of these. He is not hyperactive, but inattentive. His social problems (interrupting, saying things that are mean without meaning to, ignoring or annoying friends) and the reading issue are exactly the same. We didn't medicate until 9, and for academic reasons (he just couldn't read or focus without it) and the social issues we modified with therapy. Or are trying to, anyway, it's a long road.

[gardenmom5]

maybe or maybe not.

 

My son is an aspie, evaluated by our medical school child dev center. I take him to a DAN! naturopath. we've since learned he has a genetic mutation that ultimately affects his brain chemistry. as that has been being treated by working to get his brain chemistry "normal", many of his asd traits are disappearing. Another son has the same mutation, and would also say hurtful things. as he's been treated, he'll still make his quips - but they are much nicer, and frequently funny.

 

only the two have been tested. (thought I'm supplementing myself and another as though we have the mutation - and I highly suspect we do. there's definitely a difference.)

[lea1]

My add child fits a great many of these. He is not hyperactive, but inattentive. His social problems (interrupting, saying things that are mean without meaning to, ignoring or annoying friends) and the reading issue are exactly the same. We didn't medicate until 9, and for academic reasons (he just couldn't read or focus without it) and the social issues we modified with therapy. Or are trying to, anyway, it's a long road.

 

This is what I was really wondering about, after having read the various descriptions. It is very common for children with OCD to also have ADD or ADHD.

 

I think we probably need to have him evaluated so we are sure of what we are (or are not) dealing with.

 

Thanks to everyone for your feedback and thoughts. Much appreciated.

[NotSoObvious]

That sounds like ADD. But remember, it only needs a diagnosis if it prevents him from interacting normally. :)

[GoVanGogh]

Maybe these are all just normal-for-a-boy behaviors. But if your gut tells you something is wrong, get an evaluation.

 

Been there, done that. Trust your mommy instincts.

I totally agree.

Personally, having been there/done that, I hate to see things brushed off as gender or age appropriate. If you, as the mom, feel there is something more going on, there probably is.

Having people (or even pediatricians) say something is appropriate delays getting help and negates your feelings.

We spent a decade trying to get help for our child, only to be told at every turn something was appropriate for his age, another symptom was appropriate for his gender. In the end, something major was dx. Everyone, I hope, was well-meaning,but it only delayed us getting our child help.

Go with your gut feeling. Take a detailed list of concerns to a therapist or specialist and let the, help you sort through.

[ktgrok]

maybe or maybe not.

 

My son is an aspie, evaluated by our medical school child dev center. I take him to a DAN! naturopath. we've since learned he has a genetic mutation that ultimately affects his brain chemistry. as that has been being treated by working to get his brain chemistry "normal", many of his asd traits are disappearing. Another son has the same mutation, and would also say hurtful things. as he's been treated, he'll still make his quips - but they are much nicer, and frequently funny.

 

only the two have been tested. (thought I'm supplementing myself and another as though we have the mutation - and I highly suspect we do. there's definitely a difference.)

 

What is this mutation? Is it the one that involves B vitamins/migraines/etc? I ask because ex dh has migraines/anxiety, and ds has aspergers.

[Jan in SC]

Is your ds on track academically and physically? Did you have a lot of catching up to do after the adoption? I wonder if you are seeing sensory issues that create some OCD symptoms?

 

It sounds like you should enroll him in a theatre class, or a youth theatre production. His personality sounds wonderful and I bet you will find lots of children like him in that environment.

[lea1]

Is your ds on track academically and physically? Did you have a lot of catching up to do after the adoption? I wonder if you are seeing sensory issues that create some OCD symptoms?

 

It sounds like you should enroll him in a theatre class, or a youth theatre production. His personality sounds wonderful and I bet you will find lots of children like him in that environment.

 

He is on track both academically and physically. He had a lot of catching up to do after the adoption but he did it very quickly. I think he does have some sensory issues but they have seen fairly minor to date, until the OCD came along.

 

Your idea of a theater class is a very good one and it is something I should have thought of but had not. He has an excellent memory and loves to dress up and pretend. I will have to look into that.

 

My number one issue though is really the social aspect. I think he would really be struggling if he were in public school. He does not like crowds or large groups of kids and I think he would have a hard time making friends. His brother is very social and has never met a stranger so he makes friends with everyone and son1 tags along and plays too, between running back and forth to home and doing his own thing.

[Mom-2-7]

My son is a lot like this, especially the mouth part. He talks all.the.time. When he doesn't have anything to say, he just makes random noises.

 

He has no filter, so whatever comes into his head, comes right out of his mouth. Often, it's hurtful. Even after I point it out he sometimes doesn't understand what he did.

 

He's 8, almost 9.

 

Anyway, he was diagnosed with SPD (sensory processing disorder) recently. It explained so much!

 

[MomatHWTK]

Here's some base information:

http://www.adhdaware...org/adhd-facts/

 

Basically the line between diagnosis and "normal behavior" is one of degrees. Can the person function, do the issue impair relationships, abilities, learning? There is a lengthly checklist, but I wasn't able to find it on my initial search. The Pay Attention course at Coursera walks the viewer through the diagnostic checklist and then discusses all the "comorbid" conditions that may manifest. The professor does a good job of describing how and when the condition(s) begin to interfere with life.

 

My own personal observation has been that consistent parenting addressing one behavior issue at a time can help a non-ADHD/other child overcome the issue. With my ADHD children, the corrections no matter how consistent really only work temporarily at best. There is just a switch there that is very difficult to turn "off." I have had some success with behavioral modification, but it takes far more attention and patience on my part than it does with other kids I've been around. The lack of executive function control doesn't allow the ADHD child to apply past experience (via the executive function) to current situations or to engage self-control quickly enough to override impulse actions.

[Quiver0f10]

I agree with those who said it sounds like ADD/ADHD.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

As long as he is getting a full evaluation, it should tell you if there is giftedness (overexcitabilities), LD's, ADD/ADHD, ASD and more.