AMJ Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Um, what are Duggars? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I think a lot of people who say the Duggars appear very warm, loving and patient don't watch the show. Maybe they see them on the Today Show clips. On the show, it's very obvious the brunt of the child rearing and homeschooling has been passed off onto the older daughters. There have been episodes where they ask the parents to describe their children, and they struggle to come up with a description more than "sweet" or "patient". The younger children don't appear very attached to their parents. I don't think they spend very much quality time with them, which I think would be important when adopting a child. Their children all seem well-behaved, articulate, confident and well cared for to me. The fact that they don not come up with more then one word may indicate that they have been asked to limit their responses to one or two words by the director and nothing more. This is TV after all. From what I can tell when watching the show the parents are committed to their kids and the kids are content, secure, intelligent people. Yes, I have a huge issue with their political and religious views but honestly, I think they raise good people and would be great parents to any future children, adopted or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Google is your friend. Um, what are Duggars? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 It's really up to the birthmom, isn't it, assuming they go with domestic adoption? Had I ever been a birthmom I would have considered a large family. The happiest families I've known are large families. Anyway the article I read didn't mention whether they are considering infant adoption, or adoption of an older child. If they are going to adopt an older child they shouldn't be judged because many older children are living in less than ideal orphanages or foster care situations. Aren't they involved with an orphanage in Honduras (?) ... it was on one of the episodes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 No, but the Duggars didn't have "fertility issues." They are getting past the age of child-bearing. It's a whole different ball of wax. Having 20 kids and then deciding to adopt when you don't release eggs anymore is way different from trying to have a regular family. I wanted to adopt, after having four bio kids. I still would adopt, if it came up as a possibility. But I don't have a TV show that's based on and titled by having a whole bunch of kids and planning to have more. Are you really implying that menopausal women have no business adopting because they "stopped producing eggs?" :confused1: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Well my answer is going to be b!tchy and unkind because DH and I just got word again that we didn't get picked to adopt a baby yesterday. Great! I hope they get to have 28 kids before I get to have a second one. Awesome! I understand how you feel. I have way less children then I wanted due to fertility issues and although I would love to adopt it is practically impossible in Australia. As much as I like the Duggars I will be royally ticked off if I hear they are pursuing the adoption of a healthy newborn. They had 19 healthy newborns...leave those babies for others who didn't get that blessing and adopt an older child. Honestly I think with their age and family size they wouldn't qualify at most agencies for a baby but we all know celebrity's get special treatment....look at what Madonna was allowed to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I doubt they would do a domestic newborn adoption. If they did try to addopt, I'd assume they'd work with an international program, perhaps through Rainbow Resources, or the like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Are you really implying that menopausal women have no business adopting because they "stopped producing eggs?" :confused1: *sigh* Good grief. No. Some people adopt because they don't even produce eggs at all. I do think there is an upper limit at which point it's no longer greatly beneficial to the child to adopt. I don't know exactly what age/point that is; perhaps it varies with the individuals. But, for people who believe that God is saying "yes" whenever they conceive again, it seems that logically, the end of fertility would be a good time to consider whether God might now be saying, "no." Also - any way you slice it, more children require more care. Adopted children most likely need that much more care. The Duggars seem naive to me. They talk about adopting like, "The kids think it would be really great to adopt..." like we're talking about getting a puppy. Lastly, I resent it when people can get what they want because of their fame. I count myself with PPs who said things to this affect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Um, what are Duggars? They are a super-large, ultra conservative Christian family who has given birth to 20 children, the youngest of whom died in utero a couple years ago. They are the subject of a reality TV show called "_ Kids and Counting." The number of kids has gone up since the show began. They believe they should not practice any form of birth control and believe that if they have another child, that is God saying they should. ETD: I was getting annoyed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljenn Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I'm so sorry, Amy. I'm sorry that these maniacs will be able to use their publicity when good parents cannot get their chid. It's a diseased system. Wow. Really? A little harsh, I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Since it is pretty clear by the responses here that you haven't actually seen how the Duggers interact with their NINETEEN children, I don't see how you have a right to be judging them. They seem to be one of the most well-adjusted happy families that I have ever seen. I agree with the person who said it isn't our business. Just because they are on television doesn't automatically make it our business either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljenn Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 This whole thing came up because they went to China and visited an orphanage while they were there. They saw a bunch of kids with no homes and no one to care for and love them and they are thinking, "why not us?" They have the money, the time and the desire. Hardly the stuff of demons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Wow. Really? A little harsh, I think. And thank all the goddesses that you get to express your opinion on her opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylou Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 No, but the Duggars didn't have "fertility issues." They are getting past the age of child-bearing. It's a whole different ball of wax. Having 20 kids and then deciding to adopt when you don't release eggs anymore is way different from trying to have a regular family. I wanted to adopt, after having four bio kids. I still would adopt, if it came up as a possibility. But I don't have a TV show that's based on and titled by having a whole bunch of kids and planning to have more. A regular family?! Please. just. stop! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I don't watch the show often (no cable), but I watched last night, and the boys play with their dad, and the baby girls are often seen his in arms or lap, chat with eaach other etc. Same for Michelle. They look happy to me. They seem to laugh a lot. Obviously, I don't know, as I don't live with them, and the producers can edit however they wish, Now. That Abby Lee? She should never be around kids. Those poor girls are going to be diagnosed with PTSD one day. Seriously. Sometimes I wonder how they get away with that show. It's verbal abuse sometimes!!! (But I watch it...) :leaving: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Since it is pretty clear by the responses here that you haven't actually seen how the Duggers interact with their NINETEEN children, I don't see how you have a right to be judging them. They seem to be one of the most well-adjusted happy families that I have ever seen. I agree with the person who said it isn't our business. Just because they are on television doesn't automatically make it our business either. The duggars have made a business of being a Duggar. Their minor children have no say. Any child adopted into the family would have no say either in being part of the business of being a Duggar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Ummm...there are many adoptive families that didn't consider adopting before they discovered there were fertility issues. Does that make them wrong for adopting? There are many families that adopt after having genetic children, some due to secondary infertility, some not. Does that make their decision to adopt suspect? We'd like 2 more children and if I can not conceive or experience several miscarriages, we would likely adopt 2 children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 The duggars have made a business of being a Duggar. Their minor children have no say. Any child adopted into the family would have no say either in being part of the business of being a Duggar. That's how it works in families. Kids often get dragged into the family businesses, beliefs, passions, pursuits, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msjones Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I like their family. I wouldn't mind having a mom like her -- who really loves children and works so hard to be gentle and patient -- and lots of sisters and brothers. I don't think I even would have minded having some real responsibility for younger siblings. We'll see about the adoption. I bet it would work out well for their adopted child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 This whole thing came up because they went to China and visited an orphanage while they were there. They saw a bunch of kids with no homes and no one to care for and love them and they are thinking, "why not us?" They have the money, the time and the desire. Hardly the stuff of demons. I love the Duggars and think if that's in their hearts go for it, however they won't be able to adopt from China. China has instituted some pretty strict laws on adoption. http://www.aacadoption.com/adoption/china_requirements.aspx A lot of these laws make a lot of sense and I think are good. It clearly limits the Duggars though because of family size and perhaps income per family member (but perhaps not?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I find it ironic that the OP started off by saying she isn't anti-Duggar and then has spent this entire thread letting us know about how much she doesn't like them. No, she may not have said that in those exact words, but it is obvious that the whole reason she started this thread was to have a chance to bash them repeatedly. Personally, I think you are out of line in starting this thread in the first place when your only motive was to bash a family you most likely know less about than you think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I find it ironic that the OP started off by saying she isn't anti-Duggar and then has spent this entire thread letting us know about how much she doesn't like them. No, she may not have said that in those exact words, but it is obvious that the whole reason she started this thread was to have a chance to bash them repeatedly. Personally, I think you are out of line in starting this thread in the first place when your only motive was to bash a family you most likely know less about than you think. If only those who were pure in heart and motive were allowed to start threads we would see this forum come grinding to a halt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 That's how it works in families. Kids often get dragged into the family businesses, beliefs, passions, pursuits, etc. The business of selling your family for a TV show isn't the same as the business working on a family farm or in the family restaurant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 In case I was too cryptic.......... Chill. Have a drink. Unbunch thy britches. Hop off thy holy high horse. We're just shootin' the breeze, AKA chatting which is oddly enough the name of this forum here. Hmmmmm...... The Duggars have put themselves in the national spotlight. I am sure TLC could never afford to advertise for them on the same scale as they get via Internet discussions, so we are actually doing them a favor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 >snip< we are actually doing them a favor. Now that I think about it........ Quick, everyone talk about something else! :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 If only those who were pure in heart and motive were allowed to start threads we would see this forum come grinding to a halt. *snort* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Now that I think about it........ Quick, everyone talk about something else! :p Why did you use the red and pink smiley? hmmmmm? LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 This whole thing came up because they went to China and visited an orphanage while they were there. They saw a bunch of kids with no homes and no one to care for and love them and they are thinking, "why not us?" They have the money, the time and the desire. Hardly the stuff of demons. exactly! I hadn't noticed there being a shortage of kids that need homes, or a surplus of families willing to adopt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JuanitaL Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 In case I was too cryptic.......... Chill. Have a drink. Unbunch thy britches. Hop off thy holy high horse. We're just shootin' the breeze, AKA chatting which is oddly enough the name of this forum here. Hmmmmm...... The Duggars have put themselves in the national spotlight. I am sure TLC could never afford to advertise for them on the same scale as they get via Internet discussions, so we are actually doing them a favor. I'm adding "unbunch thy britches" along with a previously mentioned "wordy-dirties" to my ever growing list of new things to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Honestly, there are multiple different families I've read about over the years that have adopted upwards of 20 special needs children. How in the world would a family be able to care for that many children with special needs? Could it be worse for the children to be in an orphanage somewhere with one person having 15-20 children in their care? Seriously - are we going to sit here and pretend that a child the Duggars adopt would be WORSE off than if they were left in an orphanage somewhere. Are there not enough orphans that need loving homes and families in the world? I don't necessarily love the amount of care their young children are given by older siblings, but it IS care; genuine, loving care. Should we tell people they can't adopt if they are going to send their adopted children off to daycare? How is that any better for a child than being in a huge, loving family all day every day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I'm so sorry, Amy. I'm sorry that these maniacs will be able to use their publicity when good parents cannot get their chid. It's a diseased system. And I'm sorry that famous people "buy" children every day and then subject them to their horrific lifestyles and expensive nannies, but I don't see people bashing them all the time. Geez. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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