My 12 year old's brain is leaking out her ears.

[mommymilkies]

Please let this be hormones she'll grow out of soon. Please let this be hormones she'll grow out of soon. Please let this be hormones she'll grow out of soon.

 

My 12 year old is a gifted VSL with the most wonderfully helpful personality. But I swear her brain stopped working. It's been slowing down for the last few months. She has an amazing, iron trap photographic memory. But now suddenly over the last 1-2 months, she can barely remember her name. Even my 11 yo ds who has his poor ma's memory is correcting her (he has fairly bad working memory issues). I think we've taken several grade level steps backwards in English (not her strength!), math, spelling...Getting her to pick up after herself or write down a place on a map is like pulling teeth. She is also suddenly defiant for the first time in her life. She's always been stubborn, but she is reasonable and intelligent, so it's never been an issue before.

 

Do I wait this one out? I feel like we're spinning wheels right now and only getting further back. Please tell me I'm not the only one and that this will all blow over soon. Does anyone have tips for living through this?

[AK_Mom4]

I had an interesting chat at church on Sunday with another mom about just this. Her 13yo son had left all the research materials for his big semester project at school (public). It's Spring Break so all the buildings are locked up and the project is due next Monday. She couldn't understand how he could forget a huge stack of books in his locker when he was standing right in front of it.

 

12-14 seems to be the Brain Fog age. My fourth kid is starting it now and I have survived it with the older three. What helps: more sleep (theirs) and more patience (yours). Checklists, reminders, and more reminders. Re-reading yesterdays math lesson before starting today's. Every assignment written and checked off in a planner.

 

For us, changing surroundings helps. We go to a coffee shop, I get my cup of hot coffee and DD does her work. Same thing with the library. At least it seems to help with the attitude problems most days.

[JennW in SoCal]

It is hormones and she will grow out of it. Maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, but it will pass! I think the bodies of some young teens and tweens have to work so hard during growth and maturity spurts that little energy is expended on, oh, higher level brain functions. My SIL calls them "walking brain stems" at this age because they can only think of basic instincts such as sleep and eating.

 

A sense of humor on your part will help. And perhaps mentioning it to your dd, "gee -- your brains seem to be leaking out. Maybe you are hitting a growth spurt. Does school feel different to you?" Offer love if she herself feels herself struggling, and just keep smiling through it. It wouldn't be the worst thing to ease up on school and read aloud for a while -- no need to worry over "grade level". Take math a little slower with fewer problems per day. Discuss instead of assigning writing. You don't have to impart the message that she can just slack off of everything, but definitely mix things up a bit -- decide on your barest minimum and pitch everything else. Sometimes we moms fret when they are in brain stem mode, and instead of being understanding and creating a supportive environment we panic and push the academics harder.

 

Even toddlers regress before making huge leaps in development. Once that leap happens, no matter the age, they are suddenly equipped to do so much more than ever before. So, don't dismiss the of easing up on academics thinking that it will only cause your dd to get "behind". Trust that she will be just as brilliant as before, but with new brain powers that comes with maturity.

[Chrysalis Academy]

:grouphug:

 

That's *great* advice, JennW. My dd10 has always been an early bloomer, and she is definitely going through puberty (visibly), and she's grown a good 2 inches since September, too. It's hard for them, some days all the energy they have is just going into growing their bodies and rewiring their brains, and there just isn't much left for math or science, right? Anyway, it's an excellent reminder - to chill out, to have a sense of humor, and to not think that anything about this process is linear. My dd will have days where she looks at her math book and acts like she's never seen a number before, then she has days where everything clicks and she flies through 3 lessons. It's a roller coaster, and I'm just trying to hang on for the ride . . .

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I don't have any advice, dealing with brain fog stage currently. But that's the best forum thread title I've seen today. Thanks for the chuckle.

[PeterPan]

Put her to bed. Feed her more. When the brain stops working, put her back in bed, no matter what time it is. I can't remember how long it lasted, but it was very bad, like you say. Like she'd look at you and say 2+5 was 8 and then re-emphasize it a few times with the stubborn streak. Whatever you have to do to maintain the peace, just do it. Calculators? Oh yeah. Food while they work? Do it. Naps mid-day? You bet. More breaks? Yes and more PRIVILEGES.

 

The tide has turned this year, so it does improve.

[Stellalarella]

I hear you.

[KellyMama]

So here with you!!!! Oh Elizabeth gave me the same advice a few weeks ago. More naps and more sandwiches! I agree! I am feeding her constantly. Still there are tears and drama whenever a task takes longer than she anticipated (or wanted it to take). Did I mention tears and drama? Yes. We have that. Often. I'm holding Elizabeth and the others that say it will pass to their word. Please, please let them be right! In the meantime, know you're not alone! And restock the fridge! ;)

[mama2cntrykids]

Oh my...your dd sounds like MY ds12. He is a bright kid, but I can NOT believe the stuff he's totally forgetting lately. Wow.

 

In regards to what another poster mentioned, I *have* been telling him that bedtime is 8:30 now. Usually, it was 9, but then he wouldn't even hop in the shower until then, so I told him he has to be OUT of the shower and on his way to bed at 8:30. His body just needs more rest nowadays. He hates the earlier bedtime, but hey, I hate fighting a tired, grumpy, 12 year old in the mornings over schoolwork.

 

He's my oldest, so this must be a sign of what's to come with the others. Oh well. Such is life ;).

[mama2cntrykids]

It is hormones and she will grow out of it. Maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, but it will pass! I think the bodies of some young teens and tweens have to work so hard during growth and maturity spurts that little energy is expended on, oh, higher level brain functions. My SIL calls them "walking brain stems" at this age because they can only think of basic instincts such as sleep and eating.

 

A sense of humor on your part will help. And perhaps mentioning it to your dd, "gee -- your brains seem to be leaking out. Maybe you are hitting a growth spurt. Does school feel different to you?" Offer love if she herself feels herself struggling, and just keep smiling through it. It wouldn't be the worst thing to ease up on school and read aloud for a while -- no need to worry over "grade level". Take math a little slower with fewer problems per day. Discuss instead of assigning writing. You don't have to impart the message that she can just slack off of everything, but definitely mix things up a bit -- decide on your barest minimum and pitch everything else. Sometimes we moms fret when they are in brain stem mode, and instead of being understanding and creating a supportive environment we panic and push the academics harder.

 

Even toddlers regress before making huge leaps in development. Once that leap happens, no matter the age, they are suddenly equipped to do so much more than ever before. So, don't dismiss the of easing up on academics thinking that it will only cause your dd to get "behind". Trust that she will be just as brilliant as before, but with new brain powers that comes with maturity.

 

Thank you so much for your lovely insight! I about LOST it today with ds12 over his math. I had to go in timeout to pray (and cry a little).

[Karen in CO]

Gifted kids have to go through puberty too. It will really be okay.

More rest, more exercise, more protein, and maybe some vitamin D because it has been a long winter

[MrsMe]

Yup...happening here too. We're on month 10. She is 12, patiently waiting for the leak to stop.

[Haiku]

This has just begun happening to my 11 y.o. daughter. This week.

 

Tara

[EppieJ]

We have entered this phase also, with ds age 12. It took 30 minutes to do 3 math problems today because the dots just weren't connecting in his brain (and he has mild neurological issues anyway)! I first learned about the "brain fog" at a conference a few months ago. Since then I have seen proof positive of its ever-growing existance in my son. Ugh. I keep telling myself there is hope. He will get thru this AND have the ability to be a capable adult...in spite of what the current situation seems to indicate. :001_rolleyes: Until then...I pray.

[MrsMe]

We have entered this phase also, with ds age 12. It took 30 minutes to do 3 math problems today because the dots just weren't connecting in his brain (and he has mild neurological issues anyway)! I first learned about the "brain fog" at a conference a few months ago. Since then I have seen proof positive of its ever-growing existance in my son. Ugh. I keep telling myself there is hope. He will get thru this AND have the ability to be a capable adult...in spite of what the current situation seems to indicate. :001_rolleyes: Until then...I pray.

 

And how long did it say it would last? Is there hope for the following school year?

[EppieJ]

I think it's different with each child. Could be months; could be for a goodly portion of the teen years. Just know there is a light at the end of the tunnel! In the meantime, we do what we can. The conference is called "Crossing Thin Ice" if you want to look it up. It's geared toward parent/teen relationships, especially in the church, but he also discusses teen brain development. I haven't read his book, but I imagine it's the same info as in the conference.

 

http://www.crossingthinice.com/

[MrsMe]

OMgosh, I hope it's not for a "portion of"....... :crying:

[MrsMe]

OMgosh, I hope it's not for a "portion of"....... :crying:

[EppieJ]

I hear that!

[mommymilkies]

This has just begun happening to my 11 y.o. daughter. This week.

 

Tara

 

You all have my condolences!!!

 

She is a night owl and I let her sleep in quite late. I'm the same way. ;) My ds could already eat us under the table, so it scares me that he'll likely go through this next year. :lol:

 

I'm going to try to back up and slow down her work some. I already picked an easy and fairly independent math to switch to for awhile (CLE 601 when she can do algebra-any further and she'll probably think I'm insulting her!), and we've been slowing down our schedule a bit. We switched to group work (preschool kid projects, art, science, etc.) in the a.m. while the oldest two wake up and then trying to do our independent work when the toddler sleeps in the afternoon.

 

Man I got all excited about the upper level work I bought for us to start in the Fall. I don't know if that's going to work now! :huh:

[NotSoObvious]

Omg. This thread makes me just want to unschool for middle school.

[Miss Marple]

 

• When my youngest was beginning geometry, he was convinced that I had never taught him how to add/subtract/multiply/divide fractions! I tried to tell him he did that in 4th grade but he was convinced that I was neglectful in that regard. This is my very math capable boy.
  

 

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Omg. This thread makes me just want to unschool for middle school.

 

 

:scared: :svengo:

 

Perish the thought!

 

;)

We may be in the minority, but more structure helped here--not less. The difference has been quite astounding.

 

Sometimes I wonder if we should have been this structured all along. We've always had some degree of structure--but nothing like this.

In reality we probably ended up here as part of a good progression for her.

 

It's funny how opposite remedies can be the perfect cure depending on the child. :001_smile:

[MrsMe]

:scared: :svengo:

 

Perish the thought!

 

;)

We may be in the minority, but more structure helped here--not less. The difference has been quite astounding.

 

Sometimes I wonder if we should have been this structured all along. We've always had some degree of structure--but nothing like this.

In reality we probably ended up here as part of a good progression for her.

 

It's funny how opposite remedies can be the perfect cure depending on the child. :001_smile:

 

I'm just glad it's not just dd. Can you imagine teaching a classroom full of leaky brains? We are having a rough year, that's for sure, but this is an interesting post. Releasing the reins a bit would be HORRIBLE for dd and I'm cruising as is, but I think you're on to something here with being more structured.

[nicholsonhomeschool]

Uh oh. I have an almost-10-year-old and we're in the fog. I'm frightened that this could last a while... But, seriously, one thing that has helped me is to give him some heavy physical tasks to do. Instead of getting into a debate about whether we say "beGINing" or "BEginning" (he was arguing for the latter), I ask him to go shovel compost into the garden for 20 minutes, or run up and down the street 7 times, or just do anything away from me and outside and with high exertion. Sometimes it seems to clear the fog and get the brain whirring again. Thanks for the reassurance that we might come through this!

[mommymilkies]

Uh oh. I have an almost-10-year-old and we're in the fog. I'm frightened that this could last a while... But, seriously, one thing that has helped me is to give him some heavy physical tasks to do. Instead of getting into a debate about whether we say "beGINing" or "BEginning" (he was arguing for the latter), I ask him to go shovel compost into the garden for 20 minutes, or run up and down the street 7 times, or just do anything away from me and outside and with high exertion. Sometimes it seems to clear the fog and get the brain whirring again. Thanks for the reassurance that we might come through this!

 

My 12 yo begged me the other night to "make me run around the house 3 times" before I read. No joke. Weird.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

My 12 yo begged me the other night to "make me run around the house 3 times" before I read. No joke. Weird.

 

 

Sounds familiar!

[8filltheheart]

Well, my response is different. None of my kids have ever gone through "brain fog" yrs. However, when my now 14 yod was 12, she did experience many of the behaviors you describe. She ended up being diagnosed with Hoshimoto's.

 

It may be nothing other than hormones. But, a simple physical with blood work would rule out if is might be something more.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

FWIW, I wouldn't describe dd as in a "brain fog" either. Yes, she is changing, but it doesn't strike me as "fog". For us, there are short periods of altered weather patterns. When they clear I notice the landscape has changed (usually for the better--increased independence, focus, etc). It's not a constant fog.

 

(I've only heard that term here, though. I'm not quite sure I know exactly what it means.)

[Chrysalis Academy]

Yeah, I guess it's more of a hold-on-to-your-hat emotional rollercoaster than actual fog here, too - although she does take longer to wake up, mentally, in the mornings than she used to. That definitely can seem foggy at times.

 

What I notice, and she finds distressing, is that her own emotional responses can be out of proportion to the "provocation" and they really come out of left field - even for her. She's always been a really even-keeled and sunny kid, and she still is most of the time, but these sideswipes of intense emotional reactions can be . . . exhausting.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

What I notice, and she finds distressing, is that her own emotional responses can be out of proportion to the "provocation" and they really come out of left field - even for her.

 

 

My dd has commented on this as well.

[Haiku]

So has mine.

 

Tara

[8filltheheart]

 

What I notice, and she finds distressing, is that her own emotional responses can be out of proportion to the "provocation" and they really come out of left field - even for her. She's always been a really even-keeled and sunny kid, and she still is most of the time, but these sideswipes of intense emotional reactions can be . . . exhausting.

 

I see "hormonal" as much different than "fog." ;)

 

I have witnessed plenty of hormonal swings. :) But they have not really impacted my kids ability to do school work. I have actually witnessed massive mental gains in the 12-14 yr ranges (as radical as those in the toddler to preschool yrs.)

 

When it comes to hormones and affecting school, plenty of sleep, exercise, good diet, and personal space are the best ways for my girls to find their even keel.

[mommymilkies]

Well, my response is different. None of my kids have ever gone through "brain fog" yrs. However, when my now 14 yod was 12, she did experience many of the behaviors you describe. She ended up being diagnosed with Hoshimoto's.

 

It may be nothing other than hormones. But, a simple physical with blood work would rule out if is might be something more.

 

My 8 yo has Profound Hashimoto's, so we are well aware of the symptoms. I agree-thyroid induced brain fog is entirely different than this hormonal stage.

[Chrysalis Academy]

Personal space - this is HUGE here. How do you help your dds get the personal space they need when the physical space you are working with is cramped or limited? We live in an 1100 sf 2-bedroom house, so my girls share a room, the yard isn't big . . . and the vast majority of the conflicts in our house are around my 10 yo needing more "space" (i.e. privacy from her sister). She wants her own room more than anything on earth (well, except for a horse, maybe), and there is just no chance of that happening. I'm trying to counsel her about serenity & acceptance of reality, but . . . .

[mommymilkies]

I wish I knew! My oldest 4 are sharing two small bedrooms, and I have no idea what we'll do when my LO is old enough for her own bed. Our house is small, noisy, and echoing. There is no such thing as privacy unless you're in the shower and everyone else is watching a movie. It sucks. But we can't sell yet. Ugh. Even outside we live in town with a non-fenced yard, so privacy or personal space is hilarious.

[MrsMe]

My 12 yo begged me the other night to "make me run around the house 3 times" before I read. No joke. Weird.

I did this with dd and she'd love it! But that was prior to leaky brain syndrome. I should start it again.

[MrsMe]

FWIW, I wouldn't describe dd as in a "brain fog" either. Yes, she is changing, but it doesn't strike me as "fog". For us, there are short periods of altered weather patterns. When they clear I notice the landscape has changed (usually for the better--increased independence, focus, etc). It's not a constant fog.

 

(I've only heard that term here, though. I'm not quite sure I know exactly what it means.)

So there's light at the end of the tunnel? LOL

[Woodland Mist Academy]

So there's light at the end of the tunnel? LOL

 

I think so.

 

Especially if you live where spring is on her way. . .

 

[MrsMe]

I think so.

 

Especially if you live where spring is on her way. . .

 

 

LOL...we're in AZ. Spring doesn't count. Try again??? :lol:

[Woodland Mist Academy]

LOL...we're in AZ. Spring doesn't count. Try again??? :lol:

 

 

:smilielol5: um. . .give me a few minutes. . .I'll try to think of something. . .

[MrsMe]

:smilielol5: um. . .give me a few minutes. . .I'll try to think of something. . .

Don't forget...the outcome has to be to my benefit. :smilielol5:

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I can't think under pressure! :scared:

 

:lol:

[RootAnn]

I have three girls back-to-back with the oldest (hopefully) on the downward slope on this and #2 on the beginnings of the upward trek. (Hoping for a break before #3 hits it.) I chose to send both of them out (independent of each other) out to run around the block yesterday. Extra food and exercise didn't work with #1, so she also had to "rest" for an hour before lunch. Consistent vitamins is helpful. If we miss a day or three, things really fall apart.

 

I admit to sometimes just cutting my losses & calling the school day "done" over the past year with dd#1 because she wasn't going to work on her school stuff anymore; she was trying too hard to do anything else.

 

I completely remember my emotions being out of whack with reality at some point. When I was pregnant, it reminded me of those years.

 

If you can afford the time, sometimes this is when it is good to do something *completely different* with your school for a month or two. Unit Studies are great for times like this.

[MyLittleBears]

Just wondering if she's been on antibiotics or any dietary changes lately? I don't claim to know much about girls and puberty but my ds was miserable for a long time and made everyone else miserable, before I realized what the issue was. He had a systemic yeast overgrowth from antibiotics as far back as 18mos old. We made the necessary changes and he's a new kid. Just saying sometimes stuff like that get overlooked.

[mommymilkies]

Just wondering if she's been on antibiotics or any dietary changes lately? I don't claim to know much about girls and puberty but my ds was miserable for a long time and made everyone else miserable, before I realized what the issue was. He had a systemic yeast overgrowth from antibiotics as far back as 18mos old. We made the necessary changes and he's a new kid. Just saying sometimes stuff like that get overlooked.

 

 

Not mine. She's vegetarian and has to watch her nutrition because otherwise she gets killer angular chelatis, but she's been eating pretty much the same thing for 2-3 years now!