trlt Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 My DH's grandmother is being moved to an assisted living facility today. She has dementia but is still quite aware, if that makes sense. She has known about the move, but she was supposed to be moving into an apartment. However, when they evaluated her this week they decided that she couldn't move into an apartment, she really needed full care and so she is being moved into a 24 hour care facility. She doesn't know about the change yet, or wasn't told as of yesterday evening. This will be a very big transition for her. My Dh is very sad and it's been a wake up call for his mom and her siblings. They delayed this move for a long time because they didn't want to admit that she was as bad as she is, they were in denial. Now they feel like their world is crashing down. If you could send some good thoughts or prayers their way I would really appreciate it. My heart is just breaking for my Dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I'm sorry :grouphug: praying for comfort for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 That must be very difficult. I am so sorry you all have to go through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 We moved my FIL into an assisted living facility last summer. He went straight to the facility after a long hospital stay. My husband, his aunt and the owner of the facility drove him to his new home. He did not know he was going to the facility until they passed his apartment. He was very upset and called my husband and his sister every name in the book! The owner of the facility asked family members not to visit until he had been at his new home for 7-10 days so that he could get into a routine and settle in. He settled in within 7-10 days and now considers the staff his family and the facility his home. The owner said that if the resident gets a lot of visitors in the first few weeks, they keep thinking that they will be leaving with one of them and not adjust well. My husband was sad and it was difficult hearing his dad berate him and call him names, but it was worth it as we are very pleased with the care he is getting. He has Korsakoff's Syndrome dementia. hth, K P.S We framed pictures of my FIL doing stuff (vacations, flying, motorcyling) with his friends and family and they were hung in his room. Gave the staff and other residents something to converse with him about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trlt Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 Thank you. I am going to suggest to them that they bring various pictures, and items that will be of comfort to her. I never thought about it being good for the staff and residents to converse with her about. Thanks for the idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 An elderly friend of mine is going through a similar situation with her spouse. It's heart breaking for both of them. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 :grouphug: We had the same process in my family, including and especially the denial. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 We went through this with both of dh's grandmothers. It's difficult for everyone. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Aw.. that's indeed sad. I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Thank you. I am going to suggest to them that they bring various pictures, and items that will be of comfort to her. I never thought about it being good for the staff and residents to converse with her about. Thanks for the idea. Great idea. How did it go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trlt Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 The move went very well. Grandma was having a good day yesterday. She had gone to a friends birthday party before the move so she was very happy about that. She likes her room and I honestly think the reason is because it is simple for her. They didn't get to hang things yet but they are doing that today. They aren't sure that she really knows she isn't going back to her old apartment but they are just relieved that she was okay with it yesterday and will cross that bridge if/when they have to. One thing that she seems to like is the attention she gets from her new caretakers. Thank you for all your support, I appreciate the hive so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I remember the day we had to move my grandmother into an assisted living room. We brought her there from her house and she starts looking around and sniffing and said "I smell a rat".............meaning she knew something was up and was NOT happy about us doing that to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 It's a hard thing to do :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I'm glad that it went so well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Glad it went well. If she does ask about her apartment or about the old place, just distract her by saying the apartment isn't ready or is being painted or that the doctor wants to keep her for just a short time longer at her current placement. Just something that isn't a firm, "No, you're never going back." Something that will help her feel content in the moment. This was particularly effective for my aunt, who had dementia related to a brain tumor. She wanted so badly to be home with her children and husband. When she became panicked about going home, I would oh-so-soothingly say, "Of course you'll go home as soon as you are a little stronger. Right now the doctor just needs you to be in the hospital for your treatments." (She was in a nursing home, but she called it "the best hospital I've been in so far.") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trlt Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 What a good idea. That probably will really help a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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