Bree Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 My kids love to play with our neighbor next door...he is 7, but today my dd ran into the house after he tried to get her to expose herself. My 8 year old son was out there at the time too. This is the 2nd time this has happened. The first time was about 6 months ago. They haven't played in about a month due to us being busy. What would you do? Of course talk to the parents but should I let them continue playing together...it can be hard to always keep an eye on them since I have 4 kids and one potty training...thanks for the advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I would not let them continue playing together unless you can supervise at all times. A 7 yr old knows what is and is not appropriate or at least my kids always have. Even my touchy freely kid knew where to draw the line before age 6. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 There's no way I'd let my dc continue to play with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Rose Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I'd talk to his parents and keep him away, at least for awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I'd talk to his parents and closely supervise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 If you personally cannot constantly supervise, then they do not play. At 7 he should be past simple curiosity about body parts, so trying to get your daughter twice to expose herself is highly suspicious. In all honesty I would probably not allow my children around him at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flowing Brook Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 Honestly I would be worried about what was going on in his home that made him do something like that. Because of that I would not talk to the parents. Also my kids would not be playing with him unless it was directly supervised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bree Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 Thanks for the advice. :wacko: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I would be wondering about where the boy spends his time. Is there a babysitter for afterschool hours who might be, well, of unsavory habits? Or, worse, unacceptable parents? Agreeing 100% with others who say to quash the friendship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Kids whose parents do not allow them to see them naked or have not seen opposite sex siblings naked are often still curious at 7. He may have heard girls don't have penises but not actually believe. Sure some sexual deviants must start early but is that the most likely solution? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I would agree that supervision at all times is a must. I do not agree that the friendship must end over this. It is not really unusual, but that doesn't mean your dd should be subjected to it. Just keep a close eye and the 7yo will not have a chance to bother her that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Kids whose parents do not allow them to see them naked or have not seen opposite sex siblings naked are often still curious at 7. He may have heard girls don't have penises but not actually believe. Sure some sexual deviants must start early but is that the most likely solution? I tend to agree with you, but it's still inappropriate. It's important to reiterate to one's own kids not to get involved with that and to come to you immediately, and not allow them to go off anywhere far away, so that you are right at hand in case they need you. But it happening more than once becomes irritating and inappropriate, and if he's not going to stop, the parents do need to be involved. The girl doesn't have the responsibility to settle anatomical issues for this boy. My daughter had a neighbor boy who kept trying to look at her underwear. She told me months later. She ran away and my son chased the boy, and he seems to have grown out of it. They are from an apparently religious home and the boy has only sisters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Kids whose parents do not allow them to see them naked or have not seen opposite sex siblings naked are often still curious at 7. He may have heard girls don't have penises but not actually believe. Sure some sexual deviants must start early but is that the most likely solution? Without more information to the contrary, I agree. I was very curious as I was an only child of a single mom. I remember asking my friend's little brother to see his when I was probably 8. It wasn't anything sexual or indicative of abuse. My friend told her mom, I was told that we don't do that, end of story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Without more information to the contrary, I agree. I was very curious as I was an only child of a single mom. I remember asking my friend's little brother to see his when I was probably 8. It wasn't anything sexual or indicative of abuse. My friend told her mom, I was told that we don't do that, end of story. Ditto. I really don't think it's that uncommon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I tend to agree with you, but it's still inappropriate. It's important to reiterate to one's own kids not to get involved with that and to come to you immediately, and not allow them to go off anywhere far away, so that you are right at hand in case they need you. But it happening more than once becomes irritating and inappropriate, and if he's not going to stop, the parents do need to be involved. The girl doesn't have the responsibility to settle anatomical issues for this boy. My daughter had a neighbor boy who kept trying to look at her underwear. She told me months later. She ran away and my son chased the boy, and he seems to have grown out of it. They are from an apparently religious home and the boy has only sisters. What exactly does being from a "religious home" have to do with anything? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 What exactly does being from a "religious home" have to do with anything? Yeah, that one had me ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bree Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 My dd said he told her he looks at his girlfriends and I know the home isn't the greatest so we have him come here...the mom was arrested for assaulting the grandma. So I am thinking he is more than maybe just a little curious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I think you should talk to the parents, and hopefully they will talk to him about the inappropriateness of his request. I don't think it is unusual for him to still be curious about that stuff at age 7. Maybe his parents have no idea what he's doing, and they can get him a library book or something to satisfy his curiosity. My 8 year old just asked me a question about how girls can urinate with no p3nis, so I don't think the curiosity goes away that quickly. ETA: Well, it sounds like there may be more to the story, but I'd still talk to the parents. And maybe inform him yourself that if he asks to see anybody's private parts, he's going to have to go home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 My dd said he told her he looks at his girlfriends and I know the home isn't the greatest so we have him come here...the mom was arrested for assaulting the grandma. So I am thinking he is more than maybe just a little curious. Ah, we'll then there is way more to the story and, honestly, I probably wouldn't have allowed them to play alone unsupervised just based on the above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Kids whose parents do not allow them to see them naked or have not seen opposite sex siblings naked are often still curious at 7. He may have heard girls don't have penises but not actually believe. Sure some sexual deviants must start early but is that the most likely solution? ITA. I would not jump to conclusions about him or his family's life. I would inform his parents so they have a chance to discuss appropriate personal boundaries with him, and help him address his curiosity. They may have no idea that he is curious and making these requests. I would also recommend discussing appropriate boundaries and responses with your own children, and ways to keep their own safety in mind - stay together when playing, and don't go into any concealed areas with anyone, how to say no and get away, and to always, always tell you about events like this and never keep secrets about them. Also your children can tell him that if he asks this again, they can't play with him anymore. This will probably prevent any future incidents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.