LDS social group...how was your Sunday?

[TKDmom]

Random question: how many wards are in your town? Our current town has 3 wards, and is where the Stake Center is located. Our new area that we'll be moving to has two STAKES, which will be new for me.

 

I guess this is more a question for those of us outside of Utah though, as I doubt those of you there couldn't even begin to count. :lol:

 

 

We have 2 wards, and they extend several miles outside the border of our town, which has 100,000 people in it.

 

And no kidding about those in Utah. I tell people here that we had (I think) 19 stakes and over 200 student wards at BYU, and they have a hard time believing me. I've never lived in UT as a "real" person though. ;)

[TKDmom]

I have no clue. How do you find that out? We share our building with another ward though.

 

 

I just discovered the LDS.org has a maps page: https://www.lds.org/rcmaps

[Amira]

I love the new maps feature.

 

We have five wards in our area, but there really is just one that covers the city. Another is a singles ward and the others cover a huge area when they're combined. We happen to live where several of them come together and people are always moving between wards.

 

[alef]

I was thinking about something this morning and wanted to ask if this rings true to you. One of the people I am close to is experiencing something of a spiritual desert right now--has apparently lost her faith in God, and isn't doing anything to try to find it again. This morning I was thinking about the difference between how God works in our lives and how Satan works. God always honors the principle of free agency; he stands at the door and knocks, but it is up to us to invite him in or not. He will never impose himself on us, but invites us rather to seek him and promises that when we do we will find him. Satan, on the other hand, never has cared for agency; he will insert himself into our lives and our thoughts in any way he can, tempting us to sin, filling our minds with lies, pushing us towards apathy or despair...there is no need for us to invite him in, rather a need to be alert and aware so we can oppose and reject his temptations and lies. Of course, Jesus Christ has all power over Satan, and the Holy Ghost will be our helper and comrade in the battle--but only if we actively work to stay close to them and live our lives in tune with Spirit.

 

It has always been discouraging to me to see how quickly people lose their spirituality when they let worldly things crowd out spiritual things in their lives, but in makes sense in this context. There is no neutral ground--if we stop actively maintaining our relationship with God, we put ourselves at the mercy of the Adversary.

 

Those are my deep thoughts for the morning :) Now I'd better go read my scriptures.

[gardenmom5]

we have half of one stake - a student ward, a hispanic branch, and five regular wards. (the other half is in a neighboring city) and another ward that is in another stake.

[gardenmom5]

I joined the church when I was 20.

 

My dh sat up on the stand the first 7 years of our marriage..... A funny story....we started off meeting and marrying in the university ward. He was called into the bishopric the weekend we came home from our honeymoon. A couple of years passed and the time came when our oldest was ready to start primary but dh had not yet been released (wouldn't be for a year--long story) so I began attending one of the family wards with a 2 year old, a baby, and pregnant again. My fingers were swollen so I had removed my wedding band. Quite a few people thought I was quite the floozy (and semi-inactive as we sometimes visited back with where dh was) until my dh was finally released and able to rejoin us in the family unit.. He was called straight into the bishopric and so we still didn't sit together. Finally one day oldest ds broke away from the bench and ran up to the stand to sit with daddy. I got quite a number of looks that day when people finally put together that I was married, dh was married, and we were the parents of a few children together.

 

I visit taught a sister who was similar - only her dh was in the bishopric in their own ward, but a male family friend was helping her with her children. some older sister thought the friend was her dh. One day, she was hugging her actual dh in the foyer (and it was a member of the bishopric!) the older woman about fainted she was so scandalized.

[caitlinsmom]

It seemed like there was a post asking about books to read if you're having a hard time. I wrote a reply and then something happened and I couldn't find the post again. So maybe I'm just making it up. But in case I wasn't, this is what I said:

 

I've had a rough go of it lately too. I've enjoyed "The God Who Weeps" by Teryl and Fiona Givens (I'm not sure their names are spelled right) and really anything by Eugene England, especially "Why the Church is as True as the Gospel." EE's books are older, but still very, very good.

 

Hope those help. If I think of more I'll let you know, but those have kept me going in more ways than one lately.

 

I'm sure you read it, but I am reading Our Seach for Happiness. Its a book on the basics of the Latter Day Saint belief and why. Its written in such a light tone. Very quick read. Takes you back to the basics.

Chandi

 

"Believing Christ" is a great one. http://deseretbook.c...inson/i/4499076 Also anything by Elder Bednar. I've read his last two books, and they were amazing!! This is the first one: http://deseretbook.c...ednar/i/5072000 And this is the latest one (which I got for Christmas): http://deseretbook.c...ednar/i/5092930

 

Oh and Caitlin'smom, I've been struggling a lot for the past four years, ever since my parents' divorce. Believing Christ has helped immensely.

 

 

Thanks everyone. I will see if I can find those books at the library this week. I have Believing Christ and have started it multiple times. I need to make a goal to finish it this month.

 

The initiatory is my favorite thing to do at the temple (although I agree that it could use a better name). It's very short, and sometimes it gets a little overshadowed by the endowment, but I love that it's women performing the ordinance.

 

 

Lots of people are surprised when I tell them I like initiatory best. I like that it is simple and quick but it always resonates with me somehow. I always leave with fresh perspective on life.

 

Random question: how many wards are in your town? Our current town has 3 wards, and is where the Stake Center is located. Our new area that we'll be moving to has two STAKES, which will be new for me.

 

I guess this is more a question for those of us outside of Utah though, as I doubt those of you there couldn't even begin to count. :lol:

 

 

We have two wards in a very small town. Our stake covers a bunch of outlaying towns. Now if I was in Rexburg (not to far away from us)? Oh boy who knows! :) The size of the churches around the BYU-I campus are massive! I think they have multiple chapels so they can have more wards going through than normal.

[prairiewindmomma]

We have four wards in our city. Most of the rest of the stake, including the stake center is in a city about 45 minutes away. We have a few VERY outlying branches....one has a three hour drive to the stake center.

 

My dh gets to travel to all of the ward/branch conferences....he puts on xx,xxx miles/year onto his car due to church business.

 

My MIL talks about having to go to xyz meeting at church all the time. I'm thinking, "Lady, you put on your shoes and you walk down your block." She really has no clue.

 

We finally got a temple an hour away from us! When I first joined the church, it took a day to drive there.

[welovetoread]

brrrrr, its cold today. -35 in Central Wisconsin but the sun is shining. The neareast ward to me is 15 minutes away to the east. There is one to the north and west also. those are in different stakes and branches tho. A bit confusing.

 

I wanted to comment on what another member had posted about spiritual deserts. I can totally relate to your friend. I went through that for a very long time. I was disheartened with the church and other things in our lives and it was alot to handle. I eventually pulled myself out of it, but sometimes you get into a place and even opening up the bible is hard.

I feel in the last 3 days I've been under spiritual warfare and its been a battle. Hopefully, with prayer and fasting this weekend, I can finally resolve my "issues" and get on with life.

 

Chandi

[dangermom]

I live in a small city of 100K in a rural part of the state. We have 6 wards in town. Add a few small-town wards and that's our stake. We did have 7 but the recession has shoved quite a few people out of state (CA is not doing too well and this is a poor part of CA). My ward is the largest, because it covers the countryside north of town and that includes the Church farm. Several families live on the farm and a bunch more started off there and then bought houses within the same ward when they moved off. Also any new building in town mostly happens on the north within our boundaries.

[welovetoread]

haha, its cute to me that you say small town of 100,000. Our town (with no ward) only has 468. The place with the ward has 27,000

 

Funny!

[dangermom]

I didn't say small town, I said small CITY! :D 100K doesn't really qualify as a town, even I know that. It really does feel like a smaller town than it is, though; everybody seems to know each other.

[alef]

brrrrr, its cold today. -35 in Central Wisconsin but the sun is shining. The neareast ward to me is 15 minutes away to the east. There is one to the north and west also. those are in different stakes and branches tho. A bit confusing.

 

I wanted to comment on what another member had posted about spiritual deserts. I can totally relate to your friend. I went through that for a very long time. I was disheartened with the church and other things in our lives and it was alot to handle. I eventually pulled myself out of it, but sometimes you get into a place and even opening up the bible is hard.

I feel in the last 3 days I've been under spiritual warfare and its been a battle. Hopefully, with prayer and fasting this weekend, I can finally resolve my "issues" and get on with life.

 

Chandi

 

 

Oh that is cold!

 

I know there is a lot going on in this person's life and depression is an issue. It saddens me that the one place where true hope can be found is the place where she isn't looking. I wish faith and hope were something that could be transmitted from one person to another!

 

I'll be praying for you this weekend.

[alef]

 

My dh gets to travel to all of the ward/branch conferences....he puts on xx,xxx miles/year onto his car due to church business.

 

 

I hope he deducts all those miles on his taxes!

[Xuzi]

So there's a new website the church just launched: "Revelations in Context". It's to go along with this year's study of the Doctrine and Covenants in Sunday School. As it's title says, it provides the context surrounding each Section of the Doctrine and Covenants, what was going on within the Church, and what questions were being put to the Lord that He was answering, etc. Pretty cool!

[Murmer]

Do any of you ladies have a special child that attends church? We just found out my dd is High Functioning Autistic and I am not sure how or if we should broach it with the primary president/her (inconsistent) teacher. They know she is not typical and they say she does fine but I don't know if letting them know would help them. Also any ideas how to get her through Sacrament at 1 pm during her very necessary nap time. She isn't handling the time change well added on to the lack of sleep thing and it has not been successful.

[DianeW88]

So there's a new website the church just launched: "Revelations in Context". It's to go along with this year's study of the Doctrine and Covenants in Sunday School. As it's title says, it provides the context surrounding each Section of the Doctrine and Covenants, what was going on within the Church, and what questions were being put to the Lord that He was answering, etc. Pretty cool!

Awesome!!! That is exactly what I need. Woo hoo!! Thanks!

[Xuzi]

Do any of you ladies have a special child that attends church? We just found out my dd is High Functioning Autistic and I am not sure how or if we should broach it with the primary president/her (inconsistent) teacher. They know she is not typical and they say she does fine but I don't know if letting them know would help them. Also any ideas how to get her through Sacrament at 1 pm during her very necessary nap time. She isn't handling the time change well added on to the lack of sleep thing and it has not been successful.

We'll have to get MamaSheep in here (or your can try sending her a PM). She has some special kids in her family. :)

[thebacabunch]

Do any of you ladies have a special child that attends church? We just found out my dd is High Functioning Autistic and I am not sure how or if we should broach it with the primary president/her (inconsistent) teacher. They know she is not typical and they say she does fine but I don't know if letting them know would help them. Also any ideas how to get her through Sacrament at 1 pm during her very necessary nap time. She isn't handling the time change well added on to the lack of sleep thing and it has not been successful.

 

 

I do! My dd 8 as high functioning autism and church is super hard for her. There are so many people milling around plus the noise of the "sad" music make Sunday her least favorite day. We have a behavior tech with her on Sunday helping her with her issues. Also, our primary presidency definately knows. They do special stuff with her when she can't handle class. We do most of the spiritual stuff with her at home. She is too stressed at church to handle it. I am still trying to figure out the whole Sunday thing, but you are welcome to pm me any time.

[Lisbeth]

So, not sure if this is the right place - but has anyone really looked into the homeschool-BYU admission situation? (Should I start a new topic?) I am just wondering what the inside scoop is for that.

[DianeW88]

My dd was accepted to BYU, but she chose a different university because BYU didn't have the best ballet department at the time. It was easy peasy. She just took the ACT and filled out the admission forms. They are very welcoming to homeschooled students. They have counselors in their admissions department to help guide you through the process. If you want to make it easier, take a couple of high school independent study classes from them. Then they have a record of your child's academic work.

[gardenmom5]

Do any of you ladies have a special child that attends church? We just found out my dd is High Functioning Autistic and I am not sure how or if we should broach it with the primary president/her (inconsistent) teacher. They know she is not typical and they say she does fine but I don't know if letting them know would help them. Also any ideas how to get her through Sacrament at 1 pm during her very necessary nap time. She isn't handling the time change well added on to the lack of sleep thing and it has not been successful.

my youngest is an aspie, and anxiety is a big part of his diagnosis. anxiety can make him aggressive and frustrate very easily. (he absolutely, under NO circumstances is allowed nitrates in any form. he is most definitely reactive.) He doesn't recognize hunger, so I have to make sure there is food around he likes (and he's super picky) so even if he doesn't think he's hungry, he'll eat it. hunger adversely affects his functioning.

 

He hates sharing time - it's too noisy and chaotic, (and we have a small primary before they divided it into jr and sr). I've told the PP (she was in the loop while we were doing the medical school eval. and his teachers know. some have been more helpful than others. some are clueless.) - she grew up with a cousin who is an aspie, so it's helped. He has a special helper who is with him during sharing time. He'll go to class. -usually. He does better if he is allowed to draw while the teacher is talking - he actually "hears" better that way. He spends sharing time with an adult, and they have found things that work for him, and still allow him to learn. this year, their goal is to get him in sharing time for part of it at least - so he takes "the roll". It gets him in there for a few minutes (with a different music leader as they divided the primary into jr and sr.). the first few times, they went to go check if any of the new sunbeams were asleep. (we have afternoon this year too - with the reverse block.)

 

do have your primary leaders in the loop. talk to her teachers. there have been some good articles in the ensign about dealing with members with special needs. one thing to remember - what works for your dd, may or may not be what works for someone else. If there is one consistent thing about aspies - they're all different. prepare her for transitions by giving warnings and expectations of what will happen - transitions are especially hard for aspies and they also tend to be very literal. (aspie humor - there is a mission for aspies. It's all office work. an older sister who was part of running the program read something that was quite distressing to her, and said "this makes me sick". a bunch of elders promptly handed her garbage cans to be sick in.)

 

I allowed my littles to have quiet time - and if that meant they went to sleep on the bench, then they did. Or snuggle, or whatever it took for him to be happy in church. at this age, it's about "happy in church". coloring books, quiet games, magnetic paper dolls/scripture "pictures". a favorite snack that isn't messy. if she has a cuddly, bring it for her. some days dudeling needs kitty - other's he doesn't. Sometimes I've had to take my son out. It helps I have adult children who can help with him.

 

I also take my son to a DAN! - we've since determined he has a genetic mutation that is responsible for part of his problems and by aiming treatment at the deficiencies that causes, he has made progress in how he responds to people. He was also forceps, and the first time I took him to a chiro (before I had any clue what was going on, just knew it was neurological), it was determined he had four cervical vertebra significantly misaligned. treating those, also helped. we do many things that have varying degrees of "help", and he's made some tremendous progress.

[gardenmom5]

we have a homeschooler in our ward at BYU right now. I'm not sure if she took any online college courses or not. she's a great young woman, and was homeschooled all the way through. I know she had to take the ACT, and I'm sure they did a portfolio of her work.

[alef]

Do any of you ladies have a special child that attends church? We just found out my dd is High Functioning Autistic and I am not sure how or if we should broach it with the primary president/her (inconsistent) teacher. They know she is not typical and they say she does fine but I don't know if letting them know would help them. Also any ideas how to get her through Sacrament at 1 pm during her very necessary nap time. She isn't handling the time change well added on to the lack of sleep thing and it has not been successful.

 

When my husband and I taught primary we had a boy with autism in the class (5-6 year olds). It was very, very helpful to talk with his parents and have them explain some of his challenges, his interests, and things they were aware of that could help engage him in the class. One thing we picked up from them was that the best way to get his attention was to talk about something that interested him--at the time, he had a couple of very narrow obsessions including drawing, and we were able to engage him in our class discussion by tailoring the stories we told to things he was interested in (just tweaking the stories in the manual slightly usually worked) and inviting him to draw pictures of them on the board. It made all the difference between this boy spending class time tuned out, turning around in his chair, walking around the room, etc., and actually being engaged in the lesson.

 

I definitely recommend sharing your dd's diagnosis and whatever helpful information you can with the Primary president and her teachers. And let them know that this schedule is particularly stressful for her because of the lost nap. I'm sorry I can't think of anything that can help with Sacrament meeting. My 2 year old will sometimes sleep on the bench or on the floor during church, and I would be fine with an older child doing that if they could.

[Lisbeth]

Thanks for the BYU info. We have 6 years, but for some reason I had a panic attack abt it and was up most of the night researching it. My kids REALLY want to go there!

[gardenmom5]

Thanks for the BYU info. We have 6 years, but for some reason I had a panic attack abt it and was up most of the night researching it. My kids REALLY want to go there!

 

then I would suggest you call their admissions dept and ask what they like to see from homeschoolers.

as any uni, they're going to want higher math, advance english classes, lab science, etc.

[DianeW88]

Thanks for the BYU info. We have 6 years, but for some reason I had a panic attack abt it and was up most of the night researching it. My kids REALLY want to go there!

As long as they just kill their ACT scores, they'll be fine. You need at least a 24 to get into BYU, but generally they don't accept kids with a score under 26. It's easier to transfer in as a sophomore or junior than to get admitted as a freshman. Make sure your kids have four years of high school math, four years of lab science in high school, and more than two years of a foreign language in high school. Make sure they are involved in extra-curriculars and do volunteer work. They were very impressed that my daughter had been a volunteer at "This is the Place Heritage Park" here in Utah (a living history museum) since she was 9 years old. Having an exceptional talent of some kind is also good. My daughter is a ballerina, and they offered her a scholarship because of that, and what she could offer to the university. Being a seminary graduate is also a must. Just make sure that when you fill in the admissions form and write the letter that you play up your strengths. It's a little harder to get in if you're "Joe Average" and haven't shown either leadership skills, athleticism, musical or other talent in the arts, or academic talent (winning math or science competitions, etc.) or a lot of community service. Find a passion in your kids and develop it to the hilt. Sometimes it's harder for homeschoolers to provide this kind of activity level, but it's worth it. My kids were homeschooled from age 5 through high school, and my dd was admitted (my son wanted to go elsewhere). It just took more work on my part. Good luck!

[gardenmom5]

. It's easier to transfer in as a sophomore or junior than to get admitted as a freshman.

 

I don't know about that. My dd came home from her mission, and announced she had wanted to go to BYU - so she looked into transfering for her jr year. she was attending a top tier school majoring in chemistry. her act score as a freshman was 32, and she was her public high school valedictorian as an IB dip. (and yes, she was admitted to BYU as a freshman.)

after talking to the chem dept and the admissions dept, - they let her know she was too far in her program and they didn't want her. (she would only be an incoming jr.) this girl graduated with a major in chem, and a minor (because she didn't do a project in bio for the double major) in bio. the PharmD board interviewing her for her doctoral program asked her "why didn't you apply to the medical school?" this is the girl BYU told didn't want her as a transfer student.

[DianeW88]

I don't know about that. My dd came home from her mission, and announced she had wanted to go to BYU - so she looked into transfering for her jr year. she was attending a top tier school majoring in chemistry. her act score as a freshman was 32, and she was her public high school valedictorian as an IB dip. (and yes, she was admitted to BYU as a freshman.)

after talking to the chem dept and the admissions dept, - they let her know she was too far in her program and they didn't want her. (she would only be an incoming jr.) this girl graduated with a major in chem, and a minor (because she didn't do a project in bio for the double major) in bio. the PharmD board interviewing her for her doctoral program asked her "why didn't you apply to the medical school?" this is the girl BYU told didn't want her as a transfer student.

 

Maybe their programs were too different and she would have had trouble transferring credits. They can be stinkers about that, especially if she was attending a state university somewhere else (they are very picky about what credits they will take from other state schools). I transferred in as a sophomore after I joined the church, and I had to retake about 12 credits worth of classes. Not to mention the ten credit hours required in religion. So it ended up adding a year to my college time. Having said that, I absolutely LOVED BYU and it was the perfect school for me. I wish I could do college all over again!!

[stansclan89]

About 8 years ago, we moved across the country and next to a member family with their oldest having high functioning autism. (Haley was diagnosed while we lived there at about 5 years old.) She was at our house a lot, so I knew her pretty well. They talked to the PP about the situation and the PP had a "helper" called.

 

The person they called did not know her very well, and had no idea how to deal with her, and didn't seem to be able to deal with her issues even after being taught how to deal with them. She had no patience. After 6 months the other kids in primary would not even sit by Haley because she was always in trouble with her helper.

 

At that point they called me to be her helper. She was never in trouble with me, because I knew her and understood what could and should be done with her to help her be able to get through church happily. The change in the other kids in her class was amazing. They all knew she was "different" but they now accepted her.

 

A helper is a great idea with situations like this, but needs to be someone with the understanding to deal with this particular child.

[nrg]

I have had three sons go to BYU as homeschoolers. One graduated, one transferred to a UC, and the third is in the Ukraine on his mission. BYU did not even want to see a homegrown transcript. They only considered verifiable credits when determining admissions and scholarships. We submitted community college transcripts, EPGY transcripts, CTY transcripts and Great Books Transcripts, as well as letters of recommendation from music teachers, Tae Kwon Do instructors, etc. All three had high ACT scores, 32, 34, and 35 which probably did the trick. They expected homeschooled boys to be Eagle Scouts and to have earned the Duty to God for deacons, teachers, and priests. They also expected completion of seminary.

 

I talked with the homeschool admissions director for each son and received good advice and help. Best wishes in going to BYU!

[alef]

I have had three sons go to BYU as homeschoolers. One graduated, one transferred to a UC, and the third is in the Ukraine on his mission. BYU did not even want to see a homegrown transcript. They only considered verifiable credits when determining admissions and scholarships. We submitted community college transcripts, EPGY transcripts, CTY transcripts and Great Books Transcripts, as well as letters of recommendation from music teachers, Tae Kwon Do instructors, etc. All three had high ACT scores, 32, 34, and 35 which probably did the trick. They expected homeschooled boys to be Eagle Scouts and to have earned the Duty to God for deacons, teachers, and priests. They also expected completion of seminary.

 

I talked with the homeschool admissions director for each son and received good advice and help. Best wishes in going to BYU!

 

 

 

Congratulations! It sounds like your children have done really well.

 

Here is some information I received from the BYU admissions office last year; we haven't hit high school yet, but I'm trying to plan ahead. Basically, if a student has no outside accredited classwork, test scores become immensely important. Significantly, if the student has at least 15 accredited hours they are treated the same as students coming from public school when it comes to admissions. I asked about scholarships and was told it works the same way--a homeschooled student with not accredited classes must qualify for scholarships primarily or solely through their ACT/SAT scores--meaning those scores need to be sky high. But if the student has 15 hours of accredited classes, their GPA is taken into account the same as public schooled students (so a student with a 4.0 GPA could get a scholarship with a lower ACT score).

 

First of all, there are usually a few different scenarios that homeschooled students may fall into. They are as follows:

1. If they have completed at least 15 hours of accredited work (I will list the accreditation agencies we go through at the bottom of this e-mail), then they will be considered a new freshman applicant no different than any other new freshman applying with a high school degree. Any classes they may have taken through the public schooling system as well would be considered accredited.

2. If they have completed fewer than 15 hours of accredited work, we will look at what they have completed, along with their ACT score. However, because we have less to go off of, we recommend that they have a bit higher GPA and ACT score to even be considered for admission (ACT of at least a 27, and a GPA of at least a 3.4; however, the GPA may be factored a little different because they have foreign credit).

3. If they have not completed any accredited work, we will simply look at the ACT score. Once again, we recommend it be a little higher to be considered along with other applicants (at least a 27).

Following are the accreditation agencies we go through (sorted by region):

1. Middle States Association of Colleges & Schools (MSA)

2. New England Association of Schools & Colleges (NEASC)

3. North Central Association of Colleges & Schools (NCA)

4. Northwest Accreditation Commission (NWAC)

5. Southern Association of Colleges & Schools (SACS)

6. Western Association of Schools & Colleges (WASC)

I will also list some common homeschooling programs (all accredited):

· BYU Independent Study

· Independent Study in Idaho (University of Idaho)

· Keystone National High School

· American School

· University of Wisconsin Learning Innovations

· North Dakota Division of Independent Study

· Utah Electronic High School (free for Utah residents)

· Liahona School (there is both an accredited and unaccredited track)

 

[Murmer]

Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on my question about my dd. Today we left an hour before church and dd slept in the car through sacrament, with an adult in the car at all times. I let the PP and teacher at church know and basically the response was finally. I had them let me know the plan for the primary activity on Saturday to try to preload it for her. Otherwise they say primary is good so now just figuring out the sacrament nap thing...although I am thinking it will be another year of naps in the car or on the couch in the lobby of the church just like 2 years ago.

[La Condessa]

Okay, feeling pretty overwhelmed here. I was called as the Primary President for our little branch today. We have five primary kids right now, ages 18 months to 6.5 years. I handled sharing time, music time, and the class lesson alright on my own today with very short notice (though at the time I thought that was just for today). I'm feeling pressure, since I really want my kids to have the benefit of a Primary experience, and whatever I can provide is what they will get. I'm hoping I can get some others called to the Primary so I can split up the nursery and the junior primary kids for class time, but I'm not sure whether or not I'll be able to get anyone--we live in a retirement town, and most of our tiny branch is over 75, so there aren't many folks who can handle a primary or nursery class. All of the kids are used to unstructured playtime, snacks, and a five minute lesson less than half of the time--they've had so much inconsistency, often with last-minute volunteers stepping in to play with them for primary time. Branch Council is going to be exciting, since my husband is a branch councilor, so on those days we'll get the kids up at 6 to get ready and set them up in the hallway with a movie on Daddy's Kindle and the door cracked while we're in that meeting before church. Whoa.

[Xuzi]

mmconde: wow, that IS a small branch! Are there any of the kids' parents you could call into Primary to help out? Maybe one of the retirees could do a Sharing or Singing Time?

[gardenmom5]

Maybe their programs were too different and she would have had trouble transferring credits. They can be stinkers about that, especially if she was attending a state university somewhere else (they are very picky about what credits they will take from other state schools). I transferred in as a sophomore after I joined the church, and I had to retake about 12 credits worth of classes. Not to mention the ten credit hours required in religion. So it ended up adding a year to my college time. Having said that, I absolutely LOVED BYU and it was the perfect school for me. I wish I could do college all over again!!

She was attending a small private school in a very rural area. as she talked with the chem dept, she came to realize she had more study and research opportunties where she was than she'd have had at the Y, so I do think it was good for her to have looked into transfering. I also think she'd have had WAAAAAYYYYY too much fun at the Y, and not as much study. (she still managed to have lots of fun where she was.)

 

Instead of mucho student stakes, she had a tiny branch of about 40 members and they met in an office building in town. She was made a YW counselor her first sunday there. (stake function: oh, you're the girls from ___ branch, are your leaders with you? we *are* the leaders) and instead of a temple up the hill running every 20 minutes, it was two hours away with only a handful of sessions a week, and you needed to have reservations for a session (very small temple)

 

after her mission (she came home less than three weeks before the semester started.), she e-mailed a branch member to see about finding a ride from the airport back to town, about an hour each way. we think it was announced over the pulpit that she was coming back because three families volunteered.

 

But my main objection to BYU was my mil lived in provo. (she's insane I tell you.)

[gardenmom5]

A helper is a great idea with situations like this, but needs to be someone with the understanding to deal with this particular child.

 

 

I totally agree. But it's also a willingness to *learn*, and understand that some kids are different, and different doesn't mean "bad".

 

we've been blessed with some *great* people in primary who have helped my son. we've also had the other kind who contributed to his current hatred of primary.

[DianeW88]

But my main objection to BYU was my mil lived in provo. (she's insane I tell you.)

 

Yeah...that would be a very good reason to stay faaaaar away. :D

[gardenmom5]

Yeah...that would be a very good reason to stay faaaaar away. :D

 

 

I didn't even meet the woman until I was seven months pregnant. she'd been on a mission - dh was quite gleeful at the prospect of getting married while his mother was in another country. (now I can really appreciate why.) his rm-ds got engaged a week after we did, and would have married too - but they waited a year for her new convert dh to marry in the temple.

 

mil ended up living with us for a year. (there's a *reason* president Kimball said newly wed couples shouldn't live with parents!!!!! .. . yes, I know couples for whom it has worked. they're the exception.). for two solid weeks after she left, I was looking over my shoudler constantly expecting her to walk in saying "oh, I forgot something'. even after we knew she was in SLC, I was looking over my shoulder in abject paranoia. We had a long-time family friend call us at 3am once (her husband was out of town, and a family member was in the hospital and in immediate need of a blessing), and what I remember most was my expectation it was mil asking "did I wake you?"

[DianeW88]

Oh, yes. I fully agree with Pres. Kimball's advice. I think even living in the same STATE might be too close for some people. I know my MIL drove me nuts until we moved from Denver back to Utah. Things are much better now. :D Except that now my biggest fear is that she may have to move in with us when my dh's father passes away (he's in a nursing home for Alzheimer's). She has done nothing to save money for retirement and when she loses his SS check...she'll be destitute. I'm pretty sure the ward wishes she would move away, as she can be demanding and is a continual ward service project. The fact that she may end up in my basement (and she doesn't want to live in the basement...even though it's finished with a private bedroom/bath/ living area and extra laundry room) literally keeps me up at night.

[La Condessa]

mmconde: wow, that IS a small branch! Are there any of the kids' parents you could call into Primary to help out? Maybe one of the retirees could do a Sharing or Singing Time?

 

 

 

Well, the three primary kids that aren't mine are siblings, and their parents have callings I can't pull them from. But my husband tells me they might be able to have the Stake extend a calling to someone in the ward in the town south of us to come up and help with our primary (they had two ladies from that ward driving up to teach our primary for a few months last year). And I'm hoping that I can find one of the "younger" retired folks who will be willing to work in primary.

[gardenmom5]

Oh, yes. I fully agree with Pres. Kimball's advice. I think even living in the same STATE might be too close for some people. I know my MIL drove me nuts until we moved from Denver back to Utah. Things are much better now. :D Except that now my biggest fear is that she may have to move in with us when my dh's father passes away (he's in a nursing home for Alzheimer's). She has done nothing to save money for retirement and when she loses his SS check...she'll be destitute. I'm pretty sure the ward wishes she would move away, as she can be demanding and is a continual ward service project. The fact that she may end up in my basement (and she doesn't want to live in the basement...even though it's finished with a private bedroom/bath/ living area and extra laundry room) literally keeps me up at night.

 

I'd recommend researching your options now. some questions to ask yourself. any siblings? will she be able to keep her dh's ss or lose it? (have you checked with the SSA?) what forms of assistance will she qualify for, and will she qualify for more in CO or UT? does she have any ss of her own? I think my mil get's her last dh's ss and I'm pretty sure his other pension. she also has her ss. (I know her income is good for a normal person). is a retirement living where they cook and clean an option? some are fairly reasonably priced - the ones that don't offer medical care. is there someone who can take charge of her finances and only give her spending money and when teh cash is gone, it's gone until the next week? (and pays all the bills)

 

I wouldn't give a choice about basement. she'll have so much more privacy down there, the kids won't be bothering her as much . . . . . . . ;p

 

mil now lives near us - with dh's sister 30 minutes away. Dh still controls her bank accounts so she can only spend what he gives her access to. I've told him if it causes the kind of stress that bleeds into our family (it has in the past. the woman could be broke and still open credit cards and run them to the limit. he only found out when the bill came.) - I will insist he turn it all over to 2sil who claims she can handle it. (2sil's clueless. we've seen what she considers "handling it". that's why dh limits how much 2sil has access to.)

[alef]

Oh, yes. I fully agree with Pres. Kimball's advice. I think even living in the same STATE might be too close for some people. I know my MIL drove me nuts until we moved from Denver back to Utah. Things are much better now. :D Except that now my biggest fear is that she may have to move in with us when my dh's father passes away (he's in a nursing home for Alzheimer's). She has done nothing to save money for retirement and when she loses his SS check...she'll be destitute. I'm pretty sure the ward wishes she would move away, as she can be demanding and is a continual ward service project. The fact that she may end up in my basement (and she doesn't want to live in the basement...even though it's finished with a private bedroom/bath/ living area and extra laundry room) literally keeps me up at night.

 

 

 

Sometimes I think I must be the only woman in the world with an absolutely awesome MIL. Both dh and I have been blessed with supportive, nonjudgmental, and very non-interfering parents. The more I talk to people, the more I realize how rare it is. At least I know what kind of MIL I want to be some day!

[Xuzi]

 

 

Sometimes I think I must be the only woman in the world with an absolutely awesome MIL. Both dh and I have been blessed with supportive, nonjudgmental, and very non-interfering parents. The more I talk to people, the more I realize how rare it is. At least I know what kind of MIL I want to be some day!

You're not the only one so blessed! My IL's are the same. When DH was job hunting we were willing to look for jobs near them (several states away) because we knew moving in with them during the transition (waiting for our house in our old state to sell) would be relatively stress-free. The same set-up wasn't even mentioned when it came to looking for jobs near my parents. :lol: And when my DH did get a new job (sadly, not as close to them as we'd hoped) my MIL moved in for a couple of weeks right after my DH left to start the new job, to help me get the house ready to sell. She cleaned, did school with the kids, and was just generally helpful. It was wonderful. No worries about if she was secretly judging my housekeeping, or the way I disciplined my kids, and she was always offering encouraging remarks. My DH envies me my MIL. :lol:

[Amber in SJ]

Sunday was stake conference. We watched a broadcast. You'd think arriving an hour early would allow you a decent seat in the chapel, but when we got there the only open pew was the front row, so there we sat for two hours craning our necks to watch. Oy!

 

Amber in SJ

[DianeW88]

I'd recommend researching your options now. some questions to ask yourself. any siblings? will she be able to keep her dh's ss or lose it? (have you checked with the SSA?) what forms of assistance will she qualify for, and will she qualify for more in CO or UT? does she have any ss of her own? I think my mil get's her last dh's ss and I'm pretty sure his other pension. she also has her ss. (I know her income is good for a normal person). is a retirement living where they cook and clean an option? some are fairly reasonably priced - the ones that don't offer medical care. is there someone who can take charge of her finances and only give her spending money and when teh cash is gone, it's gone until the next week? (and pays all the bills)

 

I wouldn't give a choice about basement. she'll have so much more privacy down there, the kids won't be bothering her as much . . . . . . . ;p

 

mil now lives near us - with dh's sister 30 minutes away. Dh still controls her bank accounts so she can only spend what he gives her access to. I've told him if it causes the kind of stress that bleeds into our family (it has in the past. the woman could be broke and still open credit cards and run them to the limit. he only found out when the bill came.) - I will insist he turn it all over to 2sil who claims she can handle it. (2sil's clueless. we've seen what she considers "handling it". that's why dh limits how much 2sil has access to.)

Ugh...I have researched until I'm blue in the face. She gets two checks now, but when my FIL passes away, she will be forced to live on only one (his, because it's the higher income). The problem is, they took out a second mortgage on their house. Who does this when you're 80???? So, she has an $800 a month mortgage payment to make. She cannot do this and live on one SS check. She is barely making it on two. Secondly, she will not share ANY of her financial information with us. None. So we really have no idea what her situation is. She also has very expensive tastes and still goes to the "beauty parlor" weekly for her hair (the old fashioned 'wash and set' on hard rollers) and nails. Yes, she has fake nails at age 81 and gets a manicure every week. She has other unnecessary expenditures that she refuses to curtail. Her house is falling apart around her ears, and she can't do anything about it. My dh's other two brothers will be no help. One has a wife with serious medical problems, and the other "just can't handle it". The whole situation is a disaster waiting to happen. LOL Apparently the Lord wants to teach me patience and selflessness. Which I agree I need more of. I just didn't want to have to learn it this way. So I'm working on implementing my own self-improvement course now. Hopefully, I won't need any "post-graduate" work in it...involving MIL. Did I mention she's a narcissist? :svengo:

[dangermom]

Hey Amber, we must have watched the same broadcast yesterday. Our stake center was weirdly empty because they sent the broadcast to the outlying towns in our stake separately. Not that we got a comfy padded pew anyway, it was the metal folding chairs for us.

 

Right afterwards, my RS presidency met with the singles ward RSP to plan the anniversary dinner (I'm secretary). In the kitchen, standing up, with bowls of soup to eat. :laugh:

[gardenmom5]

Ugh...I have researched until I'm blue in the face. She gets two checks now, but when my FIL passes away, she will be forced to live on only one (his, because it's the higher income). The problem is, they took out a second mortgage on their house. Who does this when you're 80???? So, she has an $800 a month mortgage payment to make. She cannot do this and live on one SS check. She is barely making it on two. Secondly, she will not share ANY of her financial information with us. None. So we really have no idea what her situation is. She also has very expensive tastes and still goes to the "beauty parlor" weekly for her hair (the old fashioned 'wash and set' on hard rollers) and nails. Yes, she has fake nails at age 81 and gets a manicure every week. She has other unnecessary expenditures that she refuses to curtail. Her house is falling apart around her ears, and she can't do anything about it. My dh's other two brothers will be no help. One has a wife with serious medical problems, and the other "just can't handle it". The whole situation is a disaster waiting to happen. LOL Apparently the Lord wants to teach me patience and selflessness. Which I agree I need more of. I just didn't want to have to learn it this way. So I'm working on implementing my own self-improvement course now. Hopefully, I won't need any "post-graduate" work in it...involving MIL. Did I mention she's a narcissist? :svengo:

well - I'd think she was one of mil's sisters, but two are deceased, and the other one lives in UT already.

well, I guess she won't like what happens when your fil dies. since she won't allow anyone to look at her finances, no one will be able to help her and she'll be up a creek. if she owns the house, it will have to be sold and everything paid off. hopefully, it would be enough.

 

if she doesn't allow anyone to help - allow her to experience life. it can be hard.

[MamaSheep]

We'll have to get MamaSheep in here (or your can try sending her a PM). She has some special kids in her family. :)

 

Awww...so sweet of you to think of me when I haven't been here much lately. :)

 

Do any of you ladies have a special child that attends church? We just found out my dd is High Functioning Autistic and I am not sure how or if we should broach it with the primary president/her (inconsistent) teacher. They know she is not typical and they say she does fine but I don't know if letting them know would help them. Also any ideas how to get her through Sacrament at 1 pm during her very necessary nap time. She isn't handling the time change well added on to the lack of sleep thing and it has not been successful.

 

I've only sort of skimmed the thread, but it sounds like you've gotten some good advice and have already talked to your Primary Pres. Church with ASD is definitely a challenge. We've been blessed with ward families who've been very understanding about our wrestling matches in the hall and outbursts in sacrament meeting (like the time he learned his first "bad" word and hopped up on the bench in the middle of the sacrament and bellowed it out--in a VERY quiet newly wed/nearly dead ward we lived in for a year, with almost no other small children making noise and a plethora of disapproving older ladies whose children would have NEVER! And ds hadn't been diagnosed yet at that point so everyone including me just thought I was a bad mom.). The Primary years were the most challenging for us because he HATES the off-key chaotic nature of lots of kids singing together. I sometimes wish we'd been in a smaller branch like the one I grew up in, or the little ward we were in when we lived in Georgia when he was a baby, instead of a gigantic Utah ward, but I guess them's the breaks. All the Primary Presidents we had were very compassionate and tolerant and tried their best to help him out. For a while, during the worst of it, he had his own personal primary teacher so he could have a break from people for the block between sacrament meeting and sharing time, and I could have a (much needed) break from him. They called a large, strong, very kind man for the job because ds's behavior sometimes required physical restraint. He has told me several times since that being ds's primary teacher was one of his favorite all-time callings because he never knew what Sunday would bring. They had lessons lying on the floor with their feet up on the wall and all the lights off, or walking up and down the hall, and evidently ds felt very free to argue with his teacher and was usually right when they looked it up, so the teacher felt like he learned a lot during those couple of years. We tried sending him to sharing time every week, and some weeks he would stay (with his teacher) but other weeks it was just too much for him and he'd come in with me or his dad, depending on which of us wasn't teaching a lesson or whatever that week. We also told our bishop that we needed to have callings that left at least one of us free to take care of ds at all times, and the bishop was really good about that.

 

I wish I could say that now that he's 15 he adores church, but he doesn't. He does LOADS better than when he was little, but I still make sure he's had a snack before we go and usually have something edible in my bag. And I still bring fidget toys of various kinds for him to play with because otherwise he fidgets with whoever is sitting next to him, which is usually me. We sit near the front so there are fewer people in his field of view and that seems to help, and we put him on the end of the bench next to the wall because he feels safer there. There are still weeks when being in the chapel is too much for him and he goes out and sits on the couch in the foyer with the speaker on so he can hear the talks. And occasionally he still takes a nap out there. When he was little I sometimes brought a little travel pillow and small blanket in my church bag and let him stretch out on the bench and nap during sacrament meeting. Some of these ASD kids have such a strong biological clock that you just really can't fight it, and when it's time to sleep they have to sleep or they come apart at the seams. So I guess that's my suggestion for 1:00 nap time. If she can sleep in the chapel, let her. Then she gets what she needs to be happy, and you can listen to the meeting (or corral other kids, or whatever). If she can't sleep with all those people around, you could try the foyer or the mother's lounge or somewhere like that where you can still hear the meeting while she snoozes. And if you have disapproving little old ladies in your ward, so what? Jesus said "suffer the little children to come unto me" knowing that little children ARE little children and will ACT like little children and have the NEEDS of little children. He did NOT say, "suffer the little children to come unto me UNLESS they're going to disturb the little old ladies, in which case leave them in the car where they won't bother anyone."

 

Honestly, if there's one thing I would tell myself if I could go back and give me advice in those early years it would be to take a deep breath and relax and don't stress so much about it all. This is who he is. God made him, God loves him, God has reasons, and it's okay. And if other people have a problem with it, they can take it up with God. My job is to be his mom--not a "typical" mom to a "typical" kid, but an atypical mom to an atypical kid, and if that means doing some things strangely, that's only as it should be. It's an adventure. And like most real adventures, it's dirty, and exhausting, and confusing, and sometimes scary, but there are real treasures along the way that you cannot receive in any way other than going on the adventure. And it's worth it. It's all worth it. Even though some days you will think longingly of your cozy little hobbit hole and wish you had brought a pocket handkerchief.

[Live2Ride]

Our Sunday was good, but I did have to lean over on the stand (I direct music) and give my two teens the stink eye because I could hear them giggling durig testimony meeting :sneaky2: <that's my stink eye lol.

 

Then it was off to prep for primary (since our PP was not there).

 

We have a 'special' stake conference on the 17th...an apostle is coming from what I heard! Should be interesting...