nmoira Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Update in Post 26. My 8yo accidentally stepped on her glasses last night, irreparably damaging a hinge and its two adjoining pieces. The lenses are fine. She's devastated, and is insisting I use her allowance; however, I don't have the heart to tell her how many years it would take her to pay it off *if* we have to pay -- that will be determined next week, but given the nature of the damage it's likely. Poor mite. I'm not sure what to do other than come up something amazingly stupendously clever that allows me to shield her without actually lying to her. She's made clear that this is important to her. Gah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 I don't know that I would shield her from the cost. I wouldn't make her pay. I would tell her, I was replacing them because they are a necessity. I might come up with extra work for her to contribute to the family. I might consider helping her start a pet sitting business (obviously I'd have to help). And she could use her earnings to help pay back if she chose, but it would also be a way for her to learn responsibility and money management (consider how long it took to earn the money). My dd was 8 when she started her business. But no I wouldn't deny/conceal the cost of the glasses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted December 27, 2012 Author Share Posted December 27, 2012 Assign her a portion of the cost, an amount she can reasonably pay within a month or few, and offer extra chores to earn towards it? I feel for her. My frames have been repaired three times in major ways and finally the hinge broke in November when dh and I were on an anniversary trip. I am living with tape until next year, when insurance and flex funds will be available for replacements. It's very high on my to-do list! Thanks. I'm hoping she'll accept a deal like this. I've already ordered replacement lenses, but they won't be in until a week from Saturday. The optician will let me know when we go in if we can swing a warrantee replacement. *fingers crossed* She's so very careful, and her eyes are so bad, it makes me misty eyed on her behalf. ETA: Just to be clear, I don't expect her to pay anything. Our family attitude is that needs are needs and shouldn't be treated as privileges. She needs to see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 Accidents happen. It's not like she did it on purpose, especially since you say she's "so very careful." I wouldn't make her pay a dime and would make it clear to her that you are happy to help with what was a genuine accident. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 You know, accidents are a part of life. If you wear glasses, things will happen and they will need to be replaced at the most inconvenient time. If this were my child, I would explain it just like that. While it's not a happy event, things like this do and will happen. Parents pay for the replacement because glasses are a necessity in life, and the cost is a part of our family budget. It's just like a car repair - we save every month for car repairs so we have money to pay when they happen. Cars are a necessity in life, and they will need to be replaced and fixed at the most inconvenient times. Now if she had thrown them into the fire, then I would have a different talk for her. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted December 27, 2012 Author Share Posted December 27, 2012 Accidents happen. It's not like she did it on purpose, especially since you say she's "so very careful." I wouldn't make her pay a dime and would make it clear to her that you are happy to help with what was a genuine accident. I like the "happy to help," because we are. :) I wonder if she's read something about a similar situation because she seems worried we'll have to sacrifice to pay for them. We will, but probably not in the way she's thinking... and certainly nothing essential. Hopefully she will consent to set this aside until after they're replaced. Perhaps when she's less raw she'll be less... scared? I'm not sure exactly where this is coming from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 There are the super-cheap online glasses places, too. It happens. My first pair of glasses was the victim of a basketball accident. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 LOL! It is too funny you just posted this, right down to the oh fuuuuuuuuuuuudddddddggggggeeee part! LOL! We got home from Les Mis around 4pm so my 10yo went out to hit the giant sledding hill in the field behind our house before it got dark. As he left I had a brief thought maybe I should have had him leave his glasses behind, but let it go. He only lived where it snows for the first time starting 3 years ago, but there was no where to sled in Long Island, so having our this great hill was a big deal. There must have been 20 kids out there this afternoon. But yup, I'm sure you guessed it. Not 15 minutes later I stepped backed out on the porch and see him walking back. He was all bundled up, dragging the sled, and I realized he was carrying his glasses and on the verge of tears. I knew immediately what happened. Second run down the hill he ran into a tree (sapling - they planted a bunch of them in a horrible place). His glasses are the bendable metal, but the nose pieces aren't. The glasses looked fine, but the two nose pieces, one was going staight up and one straight out to the side! The husband figured they'd break but tried to straighten them out, but they snapped off. He hit the tree, has a tree bark scrap on his forehead and a couple of good little cuts on his face. Probably good he was wearing the glasses or more of his face would have hit the tree. Anyway the husband and I have been referring to him as Ralphie since it happened! LOL! But I can recommend the flex on glasses. They certainly take a beating. If only the nose pieces were as strong as the rest of them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted December 27, 2012 Author Share Posted December 27, 2012 LOL! It is too funny you just posted this, right down to the oh fuuuuuuuuuuuudddddddggggggeeee part! LOL! A contemporary spin on 'Tis the Season... :D I'm glad your DS wasn't seriously hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 A contemporary spin on 'Tis the Season... :D I'm glad your DS wasn't seriously hurt. LOL! I think his pride was much more injured than anything else. Plus I'm sure it scared him some. He may have a shinner tomorrow. Unfortunately it sort of looks like one of us backhanded him a good one. Could prove interesting going about and about in public tomorrow! LOL! The sad thing is now he says he done sledding. The poor kid was so looking forward to it. He waited for years to live where there was snow. In second grade, while living in Okinawa, we got orders for NY. The child burst into tears when he found out we weren't going to snowy Germany. He had not realized their was snow in NY! Of course that wasn't overly exciting. Other than snowballs and shoveling, there wasn't a lot of outdoor excitment. I think he had sledding and that hill built up pretty big in his mind. The kind of stuff movies are made of. I'm sure he'll get over it, but maybe not in time for this particular patch of snow. I bought us cross country skiis, so maybe he'll look at that as less of a contact sport. Of course I tried mine out for the first time yesterday, and my butt made contact with the ground on a number of occassions, so who knows! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Occasionally Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Places like Zenni have cheap glasses--but I'm guessing you have your reasons for not using a place like that. If it were my DD and she absolutely insisted on paying, I'd show her the website and say something like, "see, the glasses here run about $8 each, so if you pay that much, we'll call it good." It gives her some ownership of the accident without putting some gigantic strain on her savings (if that's even too much, you can point out the $8 and say she can pay half, or whatever you think appropriate.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somo_chickenlady Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 You know, accidents are a part of life. If you wear glasses, things will happen and they will need to be replaced at the most inconvenient time. If this were my child, I would explain it just like that. While it's not a happy event, things like this do and will happen. Parents pay for the replacement because glasses are a necessity in life, and the cost is a part of our family budget. It's just like a car repair - we save every month for car repairs so we have money to pay when they happen. Cars are a necessity in life, and they will need to be replaced and fixed at the most inconvenient times. Now if she had thrown them into the fire, then I would have a different talk for her. :001_smile: I agree with this. I would just explain to her that accidents happen, she didn't do it on purpose, so she doesn't need to pay anything. My son has broken two or three pairs of glasses on accident, and he was the same way. He wanted to pay something b/c he felt so bad for breaking them. I just explained exactly this, and he felt better about it. Good luck mama!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 My dh is another one who's been wearing glasses since the age of one. He managed to wear out a lifetime warranty at Sears. :tongue_smilie: His favorite glasses story is from right before he joined the army. He'd gone bowling with his cousins, and something happened where one of the cousins accidentally broke his glasses. "The two most important things in the world to me are my family and my glasses. And my family just broke my glasses." It's become part of family legend now. I suspect there was alcohol involved. :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Bless her little heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 My glasses were replaced under warranty when my dog chewed them up, so hopefully your DD's will be, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Accidents happen. It's not like she did it on purpose, especially since you say she's "so very careful." I wouldn't make her pay a dime and would make it clear to her that you are happy to help with what was a genuine accident. :iagree: Also, I'd be frank with her about the cost and explain that children's allowance is for covering a few incidentals and is insufficient for paying for glasses. Let her know you appreciate her stepping up to plate and taking responsibility even though it was accident. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoCandJ Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Walmart has cheap decent glasses and a I think it's a one year warranty but it maybe longer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Perhaps you should simply tell her how much they will be. And that you have the money set aside for small emergencies and accidents. No sense in letting her fret about it for days/weeks at a time. If she insists on paying give her a reasonable percentage that she can manage within 6 weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Awwww poor love, she's just so responsible she's that upset about it. What an awesome daughter you have. I would tell her that I appreciate how responsible she is, and how badly she feels, but there's no way she could pay you, but perhaps if it would help her, a chore that you both agreed upon. She's quite a sense of responsibility and justice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted December 28, 2012 Author Share Posted December 28, 2012 Thanks everyone, your responses helped tremendously in the framing of our discussion. :) She's much more relaxed about it today. I again reassured her that we can get the same frames and may not have to pay for them at all; and if we do, we have an emergency fund for just such things. (The latter was a slight fib, 'cause the money won't actually come from the emergency fund... it doesn't quite reach that level.) She was receptive to the idea of doing something small, something nice for the family instead of paying back the emergency fund, because even though the fund is a family thing, we told her it's Mum and Dad's job to look after. She thinks we should go out for fancy desserts or the like one night after dinner, and she has enough money to cover that without entirely depleting her saved allowance. I don't think anyone's going to argue. We also talked about money and budgeting and how when we say we "have to watch our money" that means our budgeted spending money is depleted, not that this is all we have. I guess after binging on The Moffats, All-of-a-Kind Family, Little House, and the Family From One End Street, she developed a bit of a skewed view of our own finances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted December 28, 2012 Author Share Posted December 28, 2012 She's quite a sense of responsibility and justice. She does. Between that and her hardheadedness (literally and figuratively), she's going to be a force to reckon with. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 Sounds like a great resolution. FWIW, my 10yo and 8yo count out our monthly spending at the beginning of the month. I get cash from the bank, and then they count it out into the various spending envelopes. They love doing this, and I enjoy the hands-on money training that happens. They know we set aside money every month for retirement, car repairs, car replacement, etc. in addition to our monthly spending - all because we talk about money management when they fill the envelopes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted January 6, 2013 Author Share Posted January 6, 2013 Woo hoo! The replacement was under warrantee even though she stepped on them, because the plastic in the front part of the frame was damaged. The hinges are reasonably expected to be bendable/breakable, but not the frame itself. Untitled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Darling ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 She is beautiful and has a good heart. I am delighted everything worked out just as it should. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Precious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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