LisaKinVA Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 Loss and Grief are strange things...you can be completely fine and then bam, from out of nowhere, a small remembrance can start triggering thoughts and you're struggling through tears all over again. Today, that's me. All I can think that's triggered this today, is that we decorated our tree yesterday, and I hung Jordan's Christmas ornament on the tree. Jordan was my 2nd baby boy, who was stillborn almost 12 years ago. This is the Christmas in 10 years I've been able to hang his ornament on our tree (It's been in storage, because we haven't been in a home we could even put up our tree). I was fine yesterday...today is a different story altogether. I started crying driving to church...singing a Christmas carol. We left church right after my oldest daughter finished singing, because there was no way I was going to make it through the service without becoming a weeping mess (I'd rather be a weeping mess in private.) As much as I mourn the loss of my son, I can't do so without being thankful for the gifts his death brought me. Gifts like, my nearly 11 year old daughter who would not have been born if Jordan had lived. The gift of true empathy and understanding for others who are dealing with loss, an even fiercer love for my children, and an understanding that I would have loved my son even if he hadn't been "perfect." Death often feels meaningless and senseless...but in this case, I know his death served a purpose in my life. It doesn't really make me miss him less, or the pain less poignant...it simply helps provide a steadying force, and a deeper faith. Grace and peace to everyone here who is missing a child, a parent, a family member, or a friend. The holiday season is a time for joy...but often that joy is intermixed with a sense of loss as we miss those who are no longer with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 ((hugs)) I think of grief in terms of waves. Sometimes there are just normal waves, sometimes there's barely a ripple, and then sometimes you get hit with a tsunami. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: You are not alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 ((hugs)) I think of grief in terms of waves. Sometimes there are just normal waves, sometimes there's barely a ripple, and then sometimes you get hit with a tsunami. :grouphug: Well said. Big hugs to you, Lisa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm so sorry, Lisa. :( Maybe you should put the ornament away for one more year. Having it on the tree might make you continue to dwell on your sadness, instead of enjoying the holiday with the rest of your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 Death is stupid and unfair to those left to deal with it. Your loss was a terrible thing but the life you gained is priceless. Cherish her and take comfort in knowing her-the sacrifice of your baby boy brought you that gift. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 :grouphug: It is really hard sometimes. Hug your family tight and know you are loved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted December 9, 2012 Share Posted December 9, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.