jpklehm Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 My almost 15-yo ds is in the bathroom several times a day, and not just for a quick <ahem> #1, either. I'm sure he's in there to catch a break from school and I'd like to do something about it. So... Does anyone use "bathroom passes" or something along those lines? For example, he is given, let's say, four passes a day and once those are gone he can no longer use the bathroom until his school work is complete. My younger son uses the bathroom, too, of course, but it's only "an extended stay" once a day or so, the other times are quick and to-the-point. Does using passes sound harsh or do other families have this issue? If not passes, then what? Thanks for your input! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 My 14 year old has spending a lot of time in the bathroom. Some, I believe is to catch a break and the rest I think is not something to mention in polite company. Basically, he knows that he has to get his work done and if he has to finish it after swim practice that is his problem and he best figure out how to get it done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I can't imagine making my child use a "bathroom pass" in his own home. :confused: Do you let your DS take regular breaks between subjects, or between every 2 subjects, or whatever, or is pretending to use the bathroom his only option for a break? Some kids really do need frequent short breaks. In PS, he would be getting breaks between every subject, even if only to walk to the next class. If you don't want him in the bathroom so much, let him run around outside for 5 minutes instead. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I'd give him breaks that include physical activity to help him clear his brain. I'd also then impose consequences for goofing off in the bathroom if that behaviour continued after I modified my schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 It would not occur to me to even check how often my 15 y/o is in the bathroom. The work has to get done - if that is accomplished in straight through work or with many breaks, that's up to the student. At age 15 I would not tell them how often they can take a break; they should have figured out by now what works best. I would simply make sure the work gets done - sooner (without breaks) or later (with). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendall Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 You could cut white flour, sugar, dairy and other potentially offending foods and offer instead lots of fiber and fruits and veggies, then if there really is a problem that will take care of it, if there isn't he might decide to cut his time in the bathroom so that he can eat more freely. I wouldn't have any restrictions on bathroom time, but I might have a candid conversation and ask if he is needing more breaks or needing a diet change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joani Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I wouldn't want to know why a teenage boy is spending more time than normal in the bathroom. If his schoolwork is still getting done, I wouldn't worry about how many bathroom breaks he takes. My highschooler has deadlines that he has to meet, but whether he wants to spread it out with a lot of bathroom breaks or get it done quickly and then go out to shoot hoops is up to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclecticschooler Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I agree with the pp. Let him control this part of his life. Have deadlines and require the work to be complete. Imo, you want to pick your battles and this sounds like a very silly one that could very well backfire on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jibaker103 Posted October 9, 2012 Share Posted October 9, 2012 I have the same problem with my 13 yr old nephew. He would spend the majority of the day in there to try and escape working on anything remotely brain taxing, lol! My solution has been to restrict bathroom use to official break and lunch times. However, I like the idea of forgoing the bathroom monitor approach and instead let him self manage his time. So if he wants to cut into outside time, hanging with friends, and x-Box time so be it!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 It would not occur to me to even check how often my 15 y/o is in the bathroom. The work has to get done - if that is accomplished in straight through work or with many breaks, that's up to the student. At age 15 I would not tell them how often they can take a break; they should have figured out by now what works best. I would simply make sure the work gets done - sooner (without breaks) or later (with). :iagree: Also, if my DS is planning on being in the bathroom for awhile, he often takes some of his work with him. I would never ever impose a limit on how many times my child could go to the bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 It would not occur to me to even check how often my 15 y/o is in the bathroom. The work has to get done - if that is accomplished in straight through work or with many breaks, that's up to the student. At age 15 I would not tell them how often they can take a break; they should have figured out by now what works best. I would simply make sure the work gets done - sooner (without breaks) or later (with). :iagree: Does he have anywhere else he can take a break with privacy? Does he do school in a public area with other kids? I think 15 yo boys need some privacy. If the only place he can think and feel at peace is the bathroom, I wouldn't take that away from him. I might try to provide him another option though. My 15 yo ds will also spend significant time in the bathroom. He does take work along sometimes. He also paces and monologues in the bathroom... he just does. If someone else needs in, we knock. Otherwise, we leave him alone. School work is done until it is done. There is no getting out of it by being in the bathroom, so I never thought of it as a school issue. I would never consider dictating when he can and cannot use the bathroom either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 :lol: No, I wouldn't do a hall pass. I wouldn't do that for a 5 yr old either. And I don't want to know details unless they need amodium or something. I just hasten the process scaring them by suddenly banging hard on the door and yelling through the door, "You fall in?! Need a life preserver?!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I just hasten the process scaring them by suddenly banging hard on the door and yelling through the door, "You fall in?! Need a life preserver?!" :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Too funny a coincidence. I just went to start baths for the little ones and found a stack of playing cards behind the toilet. I don't even want to know what that's about.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Too funny a coincidence. I just went to start baths for the little ones and found a stack of playing cards behind the toilet. I don't even want to know what that's about.... :lol::lol::lol: Since we have only one shower we've had to deal with issues when one of my dc goes into that bathroom, ostensibly to have a shower, and ends up reading a novel or doing artwork or who knows what for an hour before even turning the water on. I've found games & puzzles in there, too, but not behind the toilet. Since I know my dc will do that, I will knock on the door & let them know they need to hurry up, although they can use the bathroom as often as they need to. Ds does have to get his work done before his sisters get home, but he's not in high school yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 If there is no medical problem, you could set a time limit per visit. We used to have a 5 minute limit, otherwise the boys would have been in there reading all day. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Duplicate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 For example, he is given, let's say, four passes a day and once those are gone he can no longer use the bathroom until his school work is complete. I wouldn't like someone doing that to me. When you've gotta go, you've gotta go! Maybe he needs a break pass, to "get out of class" for a breather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Idk. I guess if they need a break that should be addressed. More often than not it is one of many stalling/procrastinating tactics. Either way, I think toilet passes are useless to solving the problem. I just bang on the door and holler to quit procrastinating. *shrugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted October 13, 2012 Share Posted October 13, 2012 Are you sure he's goofing off/procrastinating? Does he have any digestive issues? A dietary change as suggested above could help. (I'm looking from the perspective of mom of a boy who has some gut issues and his doc confirms that some people can really take a long time.) I have him take a school-related book in with him. No magazines, cards, or other goofing-off tools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessicalb Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Definitely would not restrict bathroom visits in any average circumstance. I would bang on the door and request a bit of hurry if the length of the visits is a problem. I have to pee somewhere between every 3 or 4 hours and every 15 minutes. Depends on the day. I would just wet my pants if I had to wait more than 15 minutes or so on a bad day. I just can't imagine asking anyone else to wait without a really, really good reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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