Experienced Mom asking, perhaps, a silly question

[AimeeM]

Ladies, thanks for all of the advice and for relating your own tummy sleeping stories! It's comforting to know, at least, that I'm not alone in it.

 

I've read all of the replies but haven't had access to my computer for the last 24 hours or so (Mac charger died on me!), so I had to wait until my husband got home to use the other laptop (blah!) so I could reply again.

 

To answer a few replies:

I have talked to my pediatrician about it. Extensively. He never, ever wavers from his standard reply "back to sleep - period". No exceptions. I've seen a few replies that say it may be good, safer, compromise to place him on his side - not according to the ped. He advises that side sleeping is just as dangerous as tummy sleeping and that nothing should be in the crib - including a positioner. Which is why I asked here. He isn't making any concession for different children needing different things and it's starting to grate on me a bit (ask my why - please don't; I won't be able to help myself from ranting about the off side homeschooling comments at my daughter's med check appt today).

 

Several mentioned a sleep monitor. Are they any different than they were 11 years ago? My eldest was on one (because of my problems as an infant). It was HORRIBLE. It went off every time she moved. Nightmare. I'm assuming they've gotten better over the years, since there are so many recommending them (the one we had was directly from a home healthcare service rx'd by our then pediatrician).

 

Marco can roll from front to back, but not from back to front; he can (and always does) lift his entire upper body and support himself on his arms. Head control is excellent.

 

I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do. I would never risk SIDS... or, rather, I would never want to risk it. But I can't pretend finding him covered in his own vomit or hearing him gag at night doesn't terrify me slightly more than SIDS (as something I have no control over). He sleeps so peacefully on his stomach and the reflux problems (vomiting, gagging, etc) are virtually nonexistent on his stomach. I spend half the night waking up in a panic, turning on lights, feeling him breath, and startling out of sleep because he gags or to *check* for vomiting.

[SKL]

Ladies, thanks for all of the advice and for relating your own tummy sleeping stories! It's comforting to know, at least, that I'm not alone in it.

 

I've read all of the replies but haven't had access to my computer for the last 24 hours or so (Mac charger died on me!), so I had to wait until my husband got home to use the other laptop (blah!) so I could reply again.

 

To answer a few replies:

I have talked to my pediatrician about it. Extensively. He never, ever wavers from his standard reply "back to sleep - period". No exceptions. I've seen a few replies that say it may be good, safer, compromise to place him on his side - not according to the ped. He advises that side sleeping is just as dangerous as tummy sleeping and that nothing should be in the crib - including a positioner. Which is why I asked here. He isn't making any concession for different children needing different things and it's starting to grate on me a bit (ask my why - please don't; I won't be able to help myself from ranting about the off side homeschooling comments at my daughter's med check appt today).

 

Several mentioned a sleep monitor. Are they any different than they were 11 years ago? My eldest was on one (because of my problems as an infant). It was HORRIBLE. It went off every time she moved. Nightmare. I'm assuming they've gotten better over the years, since there are so many recommending them (the one we had was directly from a home healthcare service rx'd by our then pediatrician).

 

Marco can roll from front to back, but not from back to front; he can (and always does) lift his entire upper body and support himself on his arms. Head control is excellent.

 

I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do. I would never risk SIDS... or, rather, I would never want to risk it. But I can't pretend finding him covered in his own vomit or hearing him gag at night doesn't terrify me slightly more than SIDS (as something I have no control over). He sleeps so peacefully on his stomach and the reflux problems (vomiting, gagging, etc) are virtually nonexistent on his stomach. I spend half the night waking up in a panic, turning on lights, feeling him breath, and startling out of sleep because he gags or to *check* for vomiting.

 

I would note that SIDS happens to back sleepers as well as tummy sleepers. A higher percentage die of SIDS while on their tummies, but that does not mean that laying your child on his back is guaranteed to protect him.

 

Good luck in finding the solution that works for you and your baby.

[Incognito]

Once you get the angelcare monitor set up properly (which I think there are pretty explicit instructions for), it doesn't go off all the time. I didn't have one, but good friends did and I've seen a lot of "online friends" have them and get peace of mind with them.

 

You do have to remember to turn it off when you take the baby out, or it will beep really loud at you! :)

[staceyobu]

To answer a few replies:

I have talked to my pediatrician about it. Extensively. He never, ever wavers from his standard reply "back to sleep - period". No exceptions. I've seen a few replies that say it may be good, safer, compromise to place him on his side - not according to the ped. He advises that side sleeping is just as dangerous as tummy sleeping and that nothing should be in the crib - including a positioner. Which is why I asked here. He isn't making any concession for different children needing different things and it's starting to grate on me a bit (ask my why - please don't; I won't be able to help myself from ranting about the off side homeschooling comments at my daughter's med check appt today).

 

Part of the reason your ped says this is because it places them at a greater liability if they waver from the standard recommendations. I doubt there are many peds out there saying anything besides back to sleep in a separate sleeping space...

[AimeeM]

Does anyone know the risk factor for a reflux baby choking at night -vs- SIDS?

 

 

Also, re-reading the replies, I'll note that he DOES enjoy being swaddled (we use one of the nifty new swaddle pods that zips up the front), but that doesn't seem to help the concern (vomiting and pain from the reflux).

[Jean in Newcastle]

Marco can roll from front to back, but not from back to front; he can (and always does) lift his entire upper body and support himself on his arms. Head control is excellent.

 

I purposefully did not give you specific advice on what you should do for your baby earlier but just told you that both of mine were tummy sleepers. I'm not giving advice now either but want to point out that in my opinion anyway, being able to roll himself from front to back protects him some if he has a problem while on his tummy. The fact that he can't roll from back to front, means that he's stuck in that position once he's in it.

[Incognito]

WELL, where I live, you are now told NOT to swaddle babies because it increases the risk of SIDS. It was cute, when I was going to leave the nurses were informing me that the rules on babies were mostly the same but now the rule is no swaddling! :)

 

FWIW, I wouldn't swaddle AND belly sleep at the same time. :)

[Forget-Me-Not]

I'll just say that there is a school of thought AGAINST the BTSC and they have some pretty convincing arguments. It's worth googling.

Edited September 18, 2012 by LemonPie

[melmichigan]

My DS had a pulse ox monitor, measuring oxygen levels and pulse on his foot, so it went off without warrant only once or twice in over a year, you adjust the parameters for the alarm based on the child. I'm not sure about the Angel monitors, those have a sense plate that they lay on, do they not? They do not require a prescription. Apnea monitors can be a problem depending on how they are set.

Edited September 18, 2012 by melmichigan

[WiseOwlKnits]

All 3 of mine slept on their tummies. Bad, I know...but they were through the night sleepers on their tummy and literally wake-up-every-30-minute sleepers on their backs.

[SKL]

WELL, where I live, you are now told NOT to swaddle babies because it increases the risk of SIDS. It was cute, when I was going to leave the nurses were informing me that the rules on babies were mostly the same but now the rule is no swaddling! :)

 

FWIW, I wouldn't swaddle AND belly sleep at the same time. :)

 

I read an article about this. Turns out the study actually proved that swaddling only WHILE belly sleeping is dangerous. Whoda thunk? :tongue_smilie:

 

And they wonder why we tend to be skeptical about "recommendations."

[ktgrok]

My pediatrician had NO problem with my daughter being a side sleeper.

[AimeeM]

WELL, where I live, you are now told NOT to swaddle babies because it increases the risk of SIDS. It was cute, when I was going to leave the nurses were informing me that the rules on babies were mostly the same but now the rule is no swaddling! :)

 

FWIW, I wouldn't swaddle AND belly sleep at the same time. :)

No swaddling? Now I'm confused. The nurses at our women's hospital swaddled him FOR me and told me about the wonderful swaddle pods I bought :confused:.

And I never swaddle during tummy time. He can't move his arms, so I see how THAT would be dangerous.

[SKL]

I'm reminded of some horror movie where the kids were afraid to go to sleep, because that's when the Freddie would get them. "Nine, ten, never sleep again."

 

It's obvious that the best way to prevent kids dying in their sleep is to stop letting them sleep. :glare: No, seriously, that's the logic behind BTS.

 

I mean no disrespect to parents who have lost children to SIDS. I believe they need to do more to identify the real risk factors and make targeted solutions available. But the idea that natural sleep is a risk factor is just ridiculous.

[TeenagerMom]

It was recommended that DS sleep on his tummy because his reflux was so severe. He would choke and aspirated ANYTIME he was on his back, even inclined in a car seat, bouncy seat, etc.

[Kathryn]

I read tons of research in both American and foreign journals (not just the "recommendations" that came from them or articles announcing them), and came to the conclusion that I was perfectly at peace with letting my ODS sleep on his stomach as he preferred. YDS preferred his swing, and that sat right next to me. As soon as he started squirming around, he learned to sleep in the crib or with me. By that time, he was rolling and picking up his head well enough for me to not worry about him either (ODS could do both very early on).

[AimeeM]

You're telling me. I'm noticing that recs (even for bts) vary a bit.

I'm reminded of some horror movie where the kids were afraid to go to sleep, because that's when the Freddie would get them. "Nine, ten, never sleep again."

 

It's obvious that the best way to prevent kids dying in their sleep is to stop letting them sleep. :glare: No, seriously, that's the logic behind BTS.

 

I mean no disrespect to parents who have lost children to SIDS. I believe they need to do more to identify the real risk factors and make targeted solutions available. But the idea that natural sleep is a risk factor is just ridiculous.

[beaners]

Part of the reason your ped says this is because it places them at a greater liability if they waver from the standard recommendations. I doubt there are many peds out there saying anything besides back to sleep in a separate sleeping space...

 

If anyone wants the name of a pediatrician in Pittsburgh who will tell you at every appointment that he is fine with cosleeping (even though our family doesn't do it), let me know. He's very pro-vaccine, although respectful if you decline.

[KidsHappen]

My first five where born before the back to sleep movement. Before that the babies always slept in empty cribs. No bumpers, pillows, stuffies, blankets and at a slight slant. I was raised with the idea that babies laying on their back could choke if left on back. The final one was born after and she spent the first week of her life in NCIU due to breathing issues. She always slept in her bouncy seat, swing, car seat, when someone was holding her or wedged on her side between me and a pillow at night until she was able to turn over on her own. I didn't do much sleeping until she was well on one years old.

[LittleIzumi]

He did suggest and incline - which Marco quickly learned how to scoot down :glare:.

 

My reflux baby slept strapped into an inclined bouncy seat for months.

[AimeeM]

My reflux baby slept strapped into an inclined bouncy seat for months.

Nico's swing has an inclined seat that detaches from the base of the swing. I *could* put him in that - but it isn't so inclined that he doesn't choke when he vomits (ask me how I know :glare:), and I guess this is where I'm worried - the doctor says that even that (sleeping in a swing seat) is a no-no. I'm wondering, now, where to draw the line between what he recommends and what is absolute truth. There seems to be no "in between". It's "put baby to sleep on his back, in an empty crib" and unwilling to give any other suggestion. So I'm a bit lost. Now with my first two, they much preferred their backs and had no real reflux issues.

[LittleIzumi]

Nico's swing has an inclined seat that detaches from the base of the swing. I *could* put him in that - but it isn't so inclined that he doesn't choke when he vomits (ask me how I know :glare:), and I guess this is where I'm worried - the doctor says that even that (sleeping in a swing seat) is a no-no. I'm wondering, now, where to draw the line between what he recommends and what is absolute truth. There seems to be no "in between". It's "put baby to sleep on his back, in an empty crib" and unwilling to give any other suggestion. So I'm a bit lost. Now with my first two, they much preferred their backs and had no real reflux issues.

 

*shrug* Doctors aren't perfect and they aren't gods. Sometimes their advice doesn't work for everyone, esp if they are using one-size-fits-all advice. I've had two separate incidents where if I'd followed the dctor's advice, my kid would end up in a hospital. You can weigh the doc's advice and the science behind it in your decision, but it is your decision. Personally I would never let a reflux baby sleep flat without supervision, no matter which side. Dd often slept on her side in the bouncy seat as well as on her back in it. Babies have a very good gag reflex though, and rarely truly choke--just gag until it all clears the airway.

[SwallowTail]

My reflux-y baby could only sleep on her tummy, or propped up, swaddled in a swing. It is actually dangerous to have a baby with reflux sleeping on their back. We just always stayed right next to her to monitor her.

[SwallowTail]

*shrug* Doctors aren't perfect and they aren't gods. Sometimes their advice doesn't work for everyone, esp if they are using one-size-fits-all advice. I've had two separate incidents where if I'd followed the dctor's advice, my kid would end up in a hospital. You can weigh the doc's advice and the science behind it in your decision, but it is your decision. Personally I would never let a reflux baby sleep flat without supervision, no matter which side. Dd often slept on her side in the bouncy seat as well as on her back in it. Babies have a very good gag reflex though, and rarely truly choke--just gag until it all clears the airway.

 

 

Exactly.

[Parrothead]

*shrug* Doctors aren't perfect and they aren't gods. Sometimes their advice doesn't work for everyone, esp if they are using one-size-fits-all advice.

:iagree:Sometimes a mom has to do what she knows is best for her kiddo. Even if that means going against every conventional wisdom out there.

[AimeeM]

*shrug* Doctors aren't perfect and they aren't gods. Sometimes their advice doesn't work for everyone, esp if they are using one-size-fits-all advice. I've had two separate incidents where if I'd followed the dctor's advice, my kid would end up in a hospital. You can weigh the doc's advice and the science behind it in your decision, but it is your decision. Personally I would never let a reflux baby sleep flat without supervision, no matter which side. Dd often slept on her side in the bouncy seat as well as on her back in it. Babies have a very good gag reflex though, and rarely truly choke--just gag until it all clears the airway.

Oh I know (that they aren't perfect). I guess I just hate feeling like I have to lie to him though. Without fail, at every well check, he asks the same: "back to sleep, right?", "no solids yet, right?", "burping every few minutes during feedings, right?". I say "no" or "yes" in the wrong place and I get lectured. Maybe it's just my doctor though. Lol.

[Incognito]

http://www.bestchance.gov.bc.ca/you-and-your-baby-0-6/caring-for-your-baby/baby-care/sleeping.html

 

Read through this list. It's what they tell us at the hospital and I just shake my head and feel bad for any new first time mom. Pretty much everything is against recommendations. :P

[TeenagerMom]

Oh I know (that they aren't perfect). I guess I just hate feeling like I have to lie to him though. Without fail, at every well check, he asks the same: "back to sleep, right?", "no solids yet, right?", "burping every few minutes during feedings, right?". I say "no" or "yes" in the wrong place and I get lectured. Maybe it's just my doctor though. Lol.

 

I would just tell him you are comfortable with your parenting since you have been doing it for a while and move the discussion toward medical issues. You can be firm and tell him you are an adult and don't need lectures from another adult regarding your parenting of your child. If he is happy and healthy should be what the Dr is concerned about.

[SKL]

http://www.bestchance.gov.bc.ca/you-and-your-baby-0-6/caring-for-your-baby/baby-care/sleeping.html

 

Read through this list. It's what they tell us at the hospital and I just shake my head and feel bad for any new first time mom. Pretty much everything is against recommendations. :P

 

Whenever I read those lists, I just think what a cold, unfriendly place our poor babies find themselves born into.

[SKL]

I would just tell him you are comfortable with your parenting since you have been doing it for a while and move the discussion toward medical issues. You can be firm and tell him you are an adult and don't need lectures from another adult regarding your parenting of your child. If he is happy and healthy should be what the Dr is concerned about.

 

:iagree: And you can find another pediatrician if this guy makes office visits a nightmare. BTDT.