Rebel Yell Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Spoilers: It was at the end of the book, the girl had her baby and it died, then they came across a starving adult man and she breastfed him. She didn't know the man or anything. Thanks. I really don't remember that- but a lot of stuff seems to have slipped through my brain from high school English classes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I usually stopped in public around 12-15 months because they became so busy while they nursed it was too much trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 The older my baby got, the more I thought of nursing as something mutually negotiated and the less I thought of it as an absolute right. I think that somewhere in between 18 and 24 months I faded out nursing in public, except for things like airplane takeoff and landing. At the same age, I started refusing to nurse during my own mealtimes. After age 2 I also started narrowing the number of times a day we nursed to 6-8. After those restrictions, my son weaned of his own volition at 2.5. It wasn't so much about what other people would think - it was more about "you are old enough, and eating table food well enough, to start considering my convenience." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I think the best time to stop is when YOU start to feel uncomfortable. :iagree: The fact that I have been criticized for nursing a young infant, modestly, in a semi-private room, and even heard complaints that people shouldn't have to see expressed milk in a bottle because "we know what it IS" pretty much solidified my decision to nurse wherever or whenever, at any age. People have some weird hangups and you can't possibly cater to all of them. I have my own standards of modesty and my own comfort level and I will stick to those, not anybody else's. Sometimes that means using a light blanket or stepping out of the room. :iagree: Especially "People have some weird hangups and you can't possibly cater to all of them". You can't avoid making some people uncomfortable. Some people just have issues. People get uncomfortable around nursing newborns. People get uncomfortable around bottle-fed newborns. People get uncomfortable about bringing newborns out in public places. People get uncomfortable if you have too may kids, or kids too close in age, or if your boys have long hair (as I've recently learned), or if your twins are not sufficiently alike to meet their stereotypes. Just roll your eyes and move on. It's just nursing. If someone is uncomfortable, well, they're likely a grownup who can deal with their own issues. Again, I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenbabybottoms Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Usually 3 is when I start trying to hold them off until we get home. The only exception I make is if they get hurt and I feel like they really need it for comfort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 When the baby is old enough to understand comments from the public, I would limit to a private setting. I wouldn't want my child exposed to rude comments. DD nursed for a long time, but we were both happy. If I had done it outside of the house, someone would have said something, and it would have really hurt DD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelsi Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I nursed dd until she self-weaned a few days before her 3rd birthday and I also nursed her in public right up until that time. Never covered I should mention. I never could figure out the whole blanket thing and the few times I tried I flashed an obscene amount of boob whereas without the blanket no one ever saw anything (even had some people come and rub dd's head while she was nursing and they obviously had no clue she was nursing lol). Besides I was in Tucson at the time so a blanket would have made both of us melt and could have seriously made her over heat if we were outside. Between the ages of 2-3 we moved to a very conservative bible-belt town. They don't play R movies, up until last year they refused to show the Ellen show on the local stations because she's gay, we just got MTV a few years ago, etc. And yet not one single time did I ever get a nasty comment or look for NIP. Maybe because they assume that Jesus was nursed? I don't know but it was a relief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeking Squirrels Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 (edited) I think I stopped NIP around 18 months with DD. i think I stopped for my sake more than for it being an "in public" thing. By that age she didn't NEED to nurse right away and often was doing major acrobatics and was easily distracted. It just became a lot more of a pain to stop what I was doing to nurse while out and she didn't ride in the carriers too often by then. So I made her wait til we got home or at least to the car just for practicality. ETA: I should say that's when I stopped *regularly NIP. I wouldn't make her wait if it seemed she really needed it or if we were out all day. Edited September 12, 2012 by CPSTAnne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 (edited) How old is too old to nurse a child in public? If the child has any visible signs of puberty, she or he is definitely too old ;) I think this is a personal choice. I don't make much distinction between in private and in public. If I'm breastfeeding my child, then I can and will do that absolutely anywhere that I and my child are allowed to be. I would never deny my child a breastfeed that she needs in order to make somebody else feel better. If somebody doesn't want to see it, they are welcome to put a blanket over their head! However, I don't think, as some lactivists seem to, that every woman with a nursing toddler should feel somehow obligated to be a "breastfeeding missionary". If you're uncomfortable NIP, it's not your duty to put up with this so that narrow-minded people can be educated. Your duty is to do what's best for you and your child. Edited September 12, 2012 by Hotdrink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy to monkeys Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I think the best time to stop is when YOU start to feel uncomfortable. :iagree:This is exactly what I was going to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I was unable to bf either of my dds, but I've only been uncomfortable around other bf'ing moms once. We were eating out, and the table next to us had a child who looked to be about four or five. He got up from the table, walked to his mom (who was sitting close to us), and nursed while standing next to her for a few seconds. It was just awkward and weird for all of us at our table. I've never had that kind of reaction to other nursing moms, even if the kids are older toddlers. This one situation was the only time I've ever felt that it just wasn't really ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I think that you should be able to nurse whenever and where ever! If you feel comfortable, and your baby/toddler needs you, that is more important than what "others" think of you. I wish I could have nursed longer. :( I had health issues that prevented me from it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I think about 3 is good... at that age they can understand "later".... I honestly think it's less distracting to wear a "belly band" which is just around your stomach underneath and so it hides your stomach. It's not as obvious as when you put something all over your shoulder. I nursed both of my kids forever. As long as it's not embarrassing to have a bottle in public... it's just exactly the same as far as being appropriate. With my pastor there, my mother, or someone I don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I don't limit. I am fairly inconspicuous when I do nurse, though, because I am shy about my stomach showing. Nurse them in a tree, nurse them with a bee. Who cares? You're feeding your child and it's nobody else's beeswax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaBoo Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 :iagree:Did the same, when they were ready. I never stopped with DD. She mostly did, eventually, around 3 or 4 when nursing had become primarily about comfort and was usually at bedtime and first thing in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_midori Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I think the 4/5 year old who was fussing in the WalMart line until his mom whipped her breast out to feed him as she finished checking groceries was too old to be quite so public... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I think the 4/5 year old who was fussing in the WalMart line until his mom whipped her breast out to feed him as she finished checking groceries was too old to be quite so public... How can you be sure of the age, first of all? At violin, there is a boy who just turned 2 that you would swear was 4 years old. And it's really nobody's business, anyway. At least the boob is being used for something other than selling tEA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I usually stopped in public around 12-15 months because they became so busy while they nursed it was too much trouble. :iagree: it wasn't do much caring what people thought as the baby was too distracted with the world to nurse without serious exposure happening plus it not being "necessary" to do on demand at that age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 From Pinterest, with the comment, "Go ahead, tell her to stop breastfeeding" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I was uncomfortable once when I was at the park with a new acquaintance, and the kids (who were 4, 5, and 5) were all playing on the playground, and then the other mother's 5 year old son came over, pulled up the mother's shirt, and began to nurse, standing on his own and occasionally talking to my daughter, who wandered over to see what was up. Although I don't particularly care how long people nurse their kids, I did think that was rather socially inappropriate. Tara I have no problem with women nursing in public. Breasts don't bother me in the least. However... that would freak me out. :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 From Pinterest, with the comment, "Go ahead, tell her to stop breastfeeding" LOL, I love it. There is a pic out there of a women nursing while talking to the president of a South American (iirc) country. Our country is so messed up about some things. She was not using a cover or any other such thing, or being "proper" by lifting her shirt from the bottom either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 From Pinterest, with the comment, "Go ahead, tell her to stop breastfeeding" Love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Originally Posted by TaraTheLiberator I was uncomfortable once when I was at the park with a new acquaintance, and the kids (who were 4, 5, and 5) were all playing on the playground, and then the other mother's 5 year old son came over, pulled up the mother's shirt, and began to nurse, standing on his own and occasionally talking to my daughter, who wandered over to see what was up. Although I don't particularly care how long people nurse their kids, I did think that was rather socially inappropriate. Tara I have no problem with women nursing in public. Breasts don't bother me in the least. However... that would freak me out. :blink: I agree, and I may or may not have had children nursing at those ages. :lol: What bothers me about it, therefore, isn't the age of the child. It's that the scenario speaks to a breastfeeding style/parenting style I have tried to bifurcate myself from. In the AP/natural parenting community, there tends to be this significant percentage of moms who grant the nursing relationship immunity status: it's immune to management by Mom, immune to needing boundaries. These types of moms tend to believe that if a child asks, they "need" it. I don't believe that a 5 year old "needs" public access to breastfeeding. Indeed, I don't believe that a 5 year old needs on demand access at all. I'd go as far as to say that the child *needs* limits on it just like they do other ostensibly good things. That said, I'd nurse a child the age of the OP's baby in public and "too old" wouldn't cross my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessicalb Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Nurse your child when and where you are safe and comfortable, for as long as you are safe and comfortable. I rarely nursed my child in public when he was older than 2 or 3, but I definitely did in certain stressful situations, especially airports and bus stations, even at 4 years old. Sometimes life hands you a really hard time and the best way to mother a nursling is to nurse them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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