Purple Cat Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I'm new to the area, and have a new, pretty good friend. She had a very difficult pregnancy after a decade of infertility treatments and so sadly lost her twin baby girl due to severe preeclampsia with the surviving twin delivered precariously premature. I have twins and feel exquisitely for her. Her husband was working, so our families went to dinner together after a fun playdate. I was telling her about the gymnast, McKayla Mahoney's priceless expression and the memes and videos it sparked. Her little boy looked stunned. His mom explained his (deceased) twin sister was named Michaela. I knew that was her name, but that fact didn't register when I was discussing McKayla because the names are spelled so differently. I apologized, told her that I really had not meant to be insensitve, and explained the names were spelled differently, so I hadn't realized. Would you send a note, too, or just drop it, careful not to make the same mistake? Thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 How did she respond? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I wouldn't send a note. You already explained and apologized. It wasn't intentional. I'm sure they will hear the name Michaela (however it's spelled) in other situations also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I would just drop it. I don't even consider it an insensitive mistake. Many people have the same name. I don't see how you could have discussed the gymnast without using her name? Surely you shouldn't call her something different? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I would just drop it. I don't even consider it an insensitive mistake. Many people have the same name. I don't see how you could have discussed the gymnast without using her name? Surely you shouldn't call her something different? :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I would just drop it. I don't even consider it an insensitive mistake. Many people have the same name. I don't see how you could have discussed the gymnast without using her name? Surely you shouldn't call her something different? :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I would just drop it. I don't even consider it an insensitive mistake. Many people have the same name. I don't see how you could have discussed the gymnast without using her name? Surely you shouldn't call her something different? I agree. If they are hurt, though, I'd apologize. Maybe it was just surprise. I surely hope your friend understands though. I think you a very kind friend to be concerned. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Unless you were directly saying that McKayla/Michaela was such an awful name, I don't think you need to do anything. Surely she's going to encounter other people with that name. You mentioning her daughter's name isn't bringing up anything she doesn't already know about. She probably thinks of her daughter every day; you're not going to remind her of anything that's not already fresh in her mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Cat Posted August 25, 2012 Author Share Posted August 25, 2012 She was really nice about it and said it was okay. I think I thought of it as insensitive because if I had made the connection that her daughter and the gymnast had the same name, then I wouldn't have talked about McKayla at all. I like the idea of dropping it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I would just let it drop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 You've apologized. If you don't drop it, you make it a bigger deal than it is and put a burden on her to make you feel better about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Definitely drop it! I don't even consider that insensitive to begin with! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 You've apologized. If you don't drop it, you make it a bigger deal than it is and put a burden on her to make you feel better about it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 You apologized, your friend was nice about it. I would drop it. Undoubtedly they will run into the name again and again. The hurt of a loss will never completely go away and reminders will pop up. There is nothing that can be done about that. You were not trying to hurt on purpose. Just let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reign Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I don't think that sounds insensitive. At all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 My uncle and ex-aunt named their lost child John. I'm sure they do not expect folks to stop saying John around them. I think the little boy might have misunderstood and thought his sister was somehow alive again. So his mom may need to explain to him that lots of people share the same name. I agree with the others - don't worry about it. You did not create any problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I would just drop it. I don't even consider it an insensitive mistake. Many people have the same name. I don't see how you could have discussed the gymnast without using her name? Surely you shouldn't call her something different? :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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