The disorganized dyslexic - bedroom related

[AimeeM]

Autumn is a wonderful child, really. Dead helpful and happily so. She helps with her brothers, takes out recycling, loves to help cook, enjoys mopping; the type of child who picks up trash around the neighborhood, cat sits for neighbors, spends her allowance doting on her little brothers, cleans dog poop from the lawn, etc.

 

But...

 

Her room. OMG :tongue_smilie::glare::001_huh::confused:. It is a DISASTER. Always. Sometimes I slip in there and clean it. I mean, it's terrible. It takes four times the time it takes to pick up after the youngers in their rooms. She cannot stay organized! Clothing, cups, trash, crafts, notebooks. She destroys it in, literally, hours. She gets so overwhelmed when it comes time to clean, that it takes her all day; really, I feel bad requiring it when she IS SO helpful otherwise... but I can't do it every day and it is DESTROYED daily.

 

I know I've read that it's common for dyslexics to be disorganized but jeez - this is bad.

 

Any (gentle) tips to help her? We've been working on this for over a year. I really do want to do this as painlessly as possible because she sincerely seems to feel overwhelmed with it and doesn't understand *why* she can't put something up before taking something else out. As in, she's in tears over it often.

[JenC3]

Can you organize things in labeled bins? Simplify the crazy girl stuff. If I let dd she'd keep everything! She has a bin of recycled gift wrapping. She WRAPS gifts, which is beyond me. I hate gift wrapping. I use fabric bags b/c at least they look better than the store bag:)

[Dory]

In my boys room we have every shelf and bin labelled. Everything has an assigned place. For things that they use regularly we made sure they were on shelves or bins that were easy to access and easy to put away with, of course, a VERY visible picture and word label. We also keep the shelves and bins small. I've noticed that the bigger the toy bins are, the more mess and the more overwhelming it seems to be for the boys. If there are fewer toys on a shelf or a small bin, than they don't take as many out at one time and they don't have as many to put away at one time.

[Rebel Yell]

After a day or two when her room is bad, take a deep breath, walk in, and look around. Don't complain about the cups, the dirty laundry, the papers, the toys. Look for patterns. (if you are a detail person, get a big-picture friend to help you.)

 

If she has a pile of shoes on the floor in front of her expensive shoe racks, ditch the rack and replace it with a basket.

 

If she has a pile of dirty laundry in front of her dresser when she has a laundry hamper with a lid in her closet- get rid of the laundry hamper and replace it with a tall open laundry basket next to her dresser.

 

If she has a pile of books and toys and games and stuffed animals on the floor by her bed, get rid of the pretty decorative bedside table and replace it with a short bookshelf. If she has keepsakes and mementos all over the room put up bulletin boards and trophy shelves. Set up a shelf, tray, or basket by her door for things that need to get put away elsewhere in the house.

 

Get the picture? She might need a completely different system to organize, most likely open and easily visualized. Maybe with photos instead of words, even if she can read well. I prefer open shelves and clear bins. I even use gallon zip-lock bags as file folders- I stand them up in a basket or box. Oh, the $$$ I'd pay to have zippy bags sized for papers! :001_wub:

 

Anyway, these are some things that have worked for us. My house is still a mess, but at least everybody knows where their shoes and sport/dance gear is.

 

My #1 tip; don't just tell her to "clean her room." Be very specific- one thing at a time... and tell her to report back to you for her next assignment every time she finishes something.

Edited August 22, 2012 by Rebel Yell

[elfgivas]

dh and dd #3 are amazingly dyslexic. being "messy" isn't the same as being "disorganized".

 

fwiw,

both would run screaming into the streets if ever i suggested labelling bins. you know, with words and letters and things that are already a problem for them.

but both really like clear bins that they can see into to see what is there.

 

they are both able to find things almost instantly in their clutter - it is that gift of dyslexia that if they can see only a tiny bit of something, they know what it is.

 

what neither of them can do is figure out someone else's organization of things. it seems random to them. all my other kids can look in the fridge and discern the organization, but not the two dyslexics, so they just put anything anywhere. :lol:

 

so for dd#3, we recently took everything except furniture out of her room. and then she organized things a bit at a time. i put baskets in her drawers, so that there is a socks basket, a tshirt basket, etc. she can see in them, and that really works for her. but she chose what went where. we have put very little back, as its manageable that way for her.

 

hth,

ann

[Ellie]

A place for everything, easily reached, clearly identified/labeled.

 

Everything in its place, with several times set aside each day for tidying up.

 

Training, modeling, reminding, repeatedly: "Dear, when you take off your clothes, put them in your hamper right away." "Dear, did you put your clothes in the hamper? If not, go put them in there right now." [And you set a timer so you can check on her in 5 minutes. If she got distracted along the way, walk her into her room and watch her do it.] "Dear, did you throw away your paper? If not, go do it right now." "Dear, be sure to put away your modeling clay as soon as you're finished." "Did you put away your modeling clay? If not, go do it right now." [set timer, etc.]

 

Yes, it's constant, but sometimes that's what must be done. :-)

[Stratford]

I was a disastrously disorganized child (and have grown up into a marginally disorganized but highly functional adult....) The key for me was having a system that made it easy to put things away. I didn't care if it took longer to get something out, having a simple means of putting things away was more important. Individually labeled anything was too overwhelming, and any rigid system was too difficult for me to maintain for any length of time. Basket for shoes, hamper for laundry, shelves for books, basket for stuffed animals, that was about it. I could not keep any other toys in my room as a kid, it was too much to keep organized. Minimum of clutter (pictures, tchotchkes, etc.) I had most of my clothes on hangers so I wouldn't have stacks of laundry to fold or put away (I still do this.)

 

I firmly believe that the gift of organization is something you are born with (or not, in my case.) Yes, there are habits and skills that can be learned, but the innate ability to keep myself organized has never been there and probably never will be. This is something that I struggle with and have to work VERY hard to maintain.

[TravelingChris]

I have given up except for trash and dirty dishes. All three of mine are challenged organizationally but as they are now older- here is how its stands. One has moved out and is keeping his place in okay condition based on photos I have seen. Trash is removed, dishes are washed. That is better than he tended to do at home. Number two lets things get messy and every few weeks does a tremendous job of cleaning and organizing. SHe lives at home and normally does put dishes back into the kitchen and puts trash into trash receptacles. So most of her mess is clothes and books, Nothing unsanitary. So those two are good enough for me- not perfect in any sense but healthwise, there is no problem.

 

Third one is still a work in progress. She is having medical issues and so I have taken over with minimal cleaning

[jeninok]

I am fairly severely disorganized, ADD innatentive type, and easily overwhelmed. The thing that helps me the most is less stuff, I am brutal about what I keep and what I toss, and what I buy for DS.

 

He is more disorganized than I am, and can still only hold one thing at a time in his brain as far as instructions or steps go.

 

the biggest thing that helps is breaking things down into tiny steps, which means a list to clean a room might be 25 items or more. But each one is quick and simple and can be crossed off.

instead of pick up your shoes it will say

1. find all shoes

a. under couch

b. bedroom

c. backyard

2. put all shoes you found in the basket.

3.Living room trash round-up (make sure there is a bag in the can!!!)

a. coffee table

b. bookshelf

c. floor

d. glass table

 

 

I need lists like that for myself, especially when things are really messy, and it really helps when I need DS to help, we go through each step together and check them off. With lots of high fives and "look what we did!"

 

I also time him for simple tasks he usually freaks out about. That way when it seems overwhelming to sweep the kitchen floor, I can remind him that last time it only took 95 seconds, and he can totally do that.

[happypamama]

DD is required to clean up her room every morning before breakfast. That really cuts down on the mess that can pile up -- it can only get so bad every day. It's still not clean to the way *I* would like, but it's tolerable, more "lived-in and slightly cluttery" than "messy." Every so often, I'll go in there and help her clear out the books and such that accumulate in there. We do have limits on what toys are allowed in the bedrooms, but with DD, it's books, sketch books, and projects, mostly.

 

But the trick seems to have been to do a little bit every day so she can stay on top of it, and then my help for the rest.

[AK_Mom4]

DD18 has to be able to SEE things. She honestly prefers laundry baskets for her clothes and hanging up shirts and pants over having things put away in drawers. When she did put things in drawers, she was forever leaving the drawers open so she could SEE what was in there! She keeps books in piles (vertically) instead of horizontally on a shelf because it's easier to read the titles that way.

 

The best method I found was to get her containers where she could SEE her things. Hanging shoe and sweater bags, clear plastic bins, and laundry baskets.

[Princess Peach]

Everything needs to have a clearly labeled place. My DS9 has bins labeled with the category of toy (cars, action figures, etc). Get a small hamper for laundry. DS9 must clean his room every day. Maybe even allow one drawer or basket as a junk drawer. We aren't all neat freaks! :001_smile:

[Anne in CA]

My youngest is like this and I had to box up most of her toys and put them in the basement. She can only get something from the basement by showing me what she is taking down to swap it with. If she wants to swap for something like Polly Pockets with lots of parts then she needs to swap a whole box of play make up or Barbie clothes. If she just wants to swap books, it's book for book, and so on.

 

Your dd probably has too much stuff to manage. I would box up most of her clothes and toys and hair stuff and change it out every week or so to make her room more manageable.

[Sneezyone]

DD is required to clean up her room every morning before breakfast. That really cuts down on the mess that can pile up -- it can only get so bad every day. It's still not clean to the way *I* would like, but it's tolerable, more "lived-in and slightly cluttery" than "messy." Every so often, I'll go in there and help her clear out the books and such that accumulate in there. We do have limits on what toys are allowed in the bedrooms, but with DD, it's books, sketch books, and projects, mostly.

 

But the trick seems to have been to do a little bit every day so she can stay on top of it, and then my help for the rest.

 

We do the bolded at our house. It has REALLY cut down on the clutter this year in DD's room. She knows exactly where things are in there too (I got her some bins for loose papers) but to me it looks like chaos. It also helps that both kids are now out of the house all day so she has little time to make things truly awful. I also agree with keeping everything visible. DD prefers open bins on shelves to dresser drawers. I picked up cheap hanging shoe organizers too (which she uses) and we have not one but two laundry bins for her convenience - one in the closet and one next to her dresser.