Socializing

[Gamom3]

Ok I am feeling down right now and need to vent. I really am regretting homeschooling my kids. I have always homeschool our 2 youngest and our oldest from 4th grade.

 

I see that the socialization is a big problem for my boys. My dd is doing fine, but my boys on the other hand are/have really struggled in this area.

I have done everything I can possibly think of: church, sports, get together with other homeschoolers and non homeschoolers, clubs, co-ops, etc.

 

Our youngest ds is 16 and does nothing during the week. He goes to church Wednesday and Sunday that's it.

 

I do try my best to get a few of their homeschooled friends--who live a good ways away from us--together once or twice a month. I found out tonight that the church that my kids go to, which is a huge church, no one there has anything to do with my ds. On Sunday's he said he goes to class, goes to the main service and then outside to wait on me. On Wednesday's same thing happens. He does not talk to anyone and no one talks to him!

 

Even though I have LOVED having my kids with me and teaching them, I regret everything about their social life and I don't know how to fix it.

 

I am so hurt right now that I don't even know what to do. I can not put them in the local school system--it is an awful school. We have enrolled them in a cyber school. My son will be dual enrolled in our local Community College this yr and will go twice a week. How many kids his age will be there and in his class..no idea

 

What have you done in this situation?

[Jenny in Florida]

Ok I am feeling down right now and need to vent. I really am regretting homeschooling my kids. I have always homeschool our 2 youngest and our oldest from 4th grade.

 

I see that the socialization is a big problem for my boys. My dd is doing fine, but my boys on the other hand are/have really struggled in this area.

I have done everything I can possibly think of: church, sports, get together with other homeschoolers and non homeschoolers, clubs, co-ops, etc.

 

Our youngest ds is 16 and does nothing during the week. He goes to church Wednesday and Sunday that's it.

 

I do try my best to get a few of their homeschooled friends--who live a good ways away from us--together once or twice a month. I found out tonight that the church that my kids go to, which is a huge church, no one there has anything to do with my ds. On Sunday's he said he goes to class, goes to the main service and then outside to wait on me. On Wednesday's same thing happens. He does not talk to anyone and no one talks to him!

 

Even though I have LOVED having my kids with me and teaching them, I regret everything about their social life and I don't know how to fix it.

 

I am so hurt right now that I don't even know what to do. I can not put them in the local school system--it is an awful school. We have enrolled them in a cyber school. My son will be dual enrolled in our local Community College this yr and will go twice a week. How many kids his age will be there and in his class..no idea

 

What have you done in this situation?

 

I was actually just talking with my daughter about the socialization thing for homeschoolers this afternoon. My theory is that homeschooling likely plays a fairly small role in these kinds of issues.

 

I went to public school my whole life. I was still painfully, cripplingly shy well into young adulthood.

 

I went to school with kids who were loud, awkward, shy, whatever. And they remained loud, awkard, shy, whatever despite spending every day surrounded by age peers in a school setting.

 

My two kids, who are biological sibs being raised and educated by the exact same parents in the same environment, have completely different styles and challenges, socially. My daughter has always struggled with social situations. She does draw attention or bullying, but she has a lot of trouble just talking to people she doesn't know. My son, meanwhile, seems to instinctively know how to work a room. But being the center of attention has also gotten him in trouble more times than I can count.

 

Nonetheless, my socially awkward, anxious daughter is finding her way now that she's transitioning to the adult world. And my son is learning to blend a little better.

 

I don't think either their challenges or the solutions to them have anything to do with homeschooling. I suspect they would have been the same people regardless of how they were educated.

 

But, if you or your son are worried about it, why not make this a project for him? This may sound silly, but we actually went and bought my daughter a couple of books about how to flirt when she expressed concern about not having that skill. There are probably self-help books for learning to be social, too.

 

And, yes, I probably would try to find him more things to do outside the house, especially activities that would allow him to meet new people and start fresh.

 

But I really, honestly, truly do not think you need to beat yourself up about choosing to homeschool. People have a tendency to have personality traits pretty deeply ingrained.

[Alphabetika]

This may be a silly question, but is your son upset with the situation? That is, you say no one talks to him and he talks to no one. Is that because he doesn't know what to say to start a conversation, or because he genuinely doesn't want to talk to anyone? Is he as upset as you are?

 

Regardless, please don't beat yourself up. Even if it's true that he had no friends for his first 16 years, he has a lot of years ahead of him in which he'll have more opportunities to make friends. On the flip side, the benefits he's gained from homeschooling surely outweigh a temporary lack of friends.

 

Could he be an introvert who simply likes to be alone?

 

As the previous poster said, personality is deeply ingrained. I'm sure if you did a survey here, you'd find many, many people who have remained satistfied introverts even while being in twelve or more years of schooling.

 

Be kind to yourself! Take heart!:grouphug:

[laughing lioness]

:grouphug:. I was talking to an old friend yesterday who used to homeschool and is now teaching again. She said the world is changing. She can always tell a homeschooler because, while they might not have all the academic skills- they are polite and respectful.

My dh's motto in life, through some very difficult circumstances is "No regrets." Did you do the best you could, with the situation you found yourself in? Did you follow the call, your heart? Your only repsponsible to be faithful to what you are called to do, not the outcomes (I hate that part).

It's o.k. We can't make the world "work" for our kids.

[AngieW in Texas]

I agree with the other poster who said that it's more likely to be just the way that your boys are, not because you hsed them.

 

I have three very different girls. Going to school would not have made my kids more social. In fact, my oldest did go to ps for 6th and 7th grades and it was very damaging for her.

 

My oldest is Aspie and OCD and ADHD. She has NO friends or even "friends". She is taking social skills classes and she says that she is finding them helpful. She will be going back to college again this fall (was home for spring semester and summer) and I hope that things go better for her this time around since she'll be in a private apartment with no roommates to get annoyed with her. She goes to her social skills class and her OCD counseling appointment every week and that's it.

 

My middle is also Aspie, but she is only Aspie. She is taking classes at the cc and absolutely loves it. She has chemistry lab and then chemistry lecture, but the lab is scheduled for 2 hours and usually only lasts for one hour. She goes to the lounge between lab and lecture and always finds a group of people to hang out with. One afternoon somebody brought Taboo and they had a great time playing the game. My dd is bringing Apples to Apples with her on Monday so they can play that game. She is a lot more successful with social interaction. She actually has "friends" even though she doesn't really have close friends. She also goes to Game Day and Anime Club at the library (both are monthly) and has a lot of fun there.

 

My youngest is a social butterfly. She has tons of friends and many of them are very close. She's also the only one of the three who is not Aspie.

[elegantlion]

I deal with this. Ds and I discuss it, he and I are introverted, I get it. He has to sit and observe a group before acting. He would very much be the lone person in a room.

 

Our previous church he found one friend, because they'd met at VBS (he was younger). This friend was extroverted, outgoing, friendly, and they clicked. It only took that one person to make ds feel welcome.

 

Now we've moved and dh (who is very extroverted) thinks ds can just walk into a room and make friends. It doesn't happen. It's very much a function of personality. I also was the quiet high schooler who had a few good friends, but hated groups.

 

Ds is almost 15 and I remind him that he has to put himself out there. He's not concerned about his lack of friends, he has some online that he interacts with daily. I can't set up playdates for him at this age, ya know.

 

Ds is social, well-mannered, interacts with adults on a regular basis (not just us) and seems content.

 

I do plan on working on communication skills and, as Jenny said, give him skills to work a room. Even as a adult, I had to work on that skill. My MIL and I attended a networking seminar together, it was a entire room of adult women learning to socialize in a casual setting. So I don't presume to think my 14 year old son will have it all figured out.

 

Things like body language, facial expressions, eye contact, how to make small chit chat are helpful. I wish ds wanted to be involved in theater. I was in a few plays in junior high and it helped me immensely. It was easier to be on a stage and open up than to interact with people one-to-one. You learn how to create a presence, which can be a comfort to introvert.

 

In the end, I believe in seasons of life. Ds is going to spend more of his life with adults than peers anyway, and he does fine in that area.

[Paintedlady]

It may just be your son's personality. I tutor for a family with two middle/high school boys. The older boy comes home every day from school and immediately puts on his pajamas and heads to the basement to play video games and do homework. He never leaves the house unless forced to.

[Caroline]

As the mom of children who go to public school, I really think this might be a personality thing. I have a 17 year old ds. He is shy and reserved. In the past year I have seen a lot of growth in him socially. He is now going out to movies with friends. He is hanging out with the guys some evenings. He joined a couple of adult soccer leagues, where he fits in better than his u19 rec team. (He still plays on that one, though, too.) I think he is just an old soul and does better around adults. He never makes the first move, though. Other people have to be outgoing to him first.

 

Don't beat yourself up about homeschooling becauae I am sure that isn't the cause of something that might not even be a problem. I think homeschooling is amazing for kids. I really think he will grow into his skin. I bet being at the community college will help.

[Karen in CO]

When my ds was in public elementary school, he had 1 friend despite going to church, being in boy scouts, playing club soccer and going to the same neighborhood school for years. When I pulled him out to finish middle school and save him from bullies and the low expectations of teachers, he had 1 friend. When I put him back in high school for a year, he joined the basketball team and still had 1 friend. When I pulled him for good in 10th grade so he could learn something for a change, he had 1 friend. He never went to a dance. He never joined a club. He never walked in a graduation. He did figure out that he was smart, funny, kind and worthwhile.

 

When he went to college, he found other smart, funny, kind kids that liked role-playing games and didn't play sports. He had roommates that became great friends and roommates that he'll never speak to again. He found his very first group of "peers." He found his very first girlfriend. He found out that there is nothing wrong with him. He was always worthwhile.

 

Sorry it is hard for you and your son.

[Tarreymere]

Being around large groups of same-age kids every day does not automatically mean that kids will become friends. I've had homeschooled, private schooled, and public schooled kids and no one group had more or less friends than any other. Outgoing, sociable kids just seem to be born that way and tend to make friends easily even when they are homeschooled. Quiet, reserved, socially awkward kids do not, even when they attend public school.

 

Then again, there is still the possibility that even if your child does make friends in a public school setting, those friends may not be a good thing for your child. I'd rather my kids not have friends at all than become attracted to those charming, daring, criminal types that my kids seem fascinated with.

[TranquilMind]

I was actually just talking with my daughter about the socialization thing for homeschoolers this afternoon. My theory is that homeschooling likely plays a fairly small role in these kinds of issues.

 

I went to public school my whole life. I was still painfully, cripplingly shy well into young adulthood.

 

I went to school with kids who were loud, awkward, shy, whatever. And they remained loud, awkard, shy, whatever despite spending every day surrounded by age peers in a school setting.

 

My two kids, who are biological sibs being raised and educated by the exact same parents in the same environment, have completely different styles and challenges, socially. My daughter has always struggled with social situations. She does draw attention or bullying, but she has a lot of trouble just talking to people she doesn't know. My son, meanwhile, seems to instinctively know how to work a room. But being the center of attention has also gotten him in trouble more times than I can count.

 

 

I could not agree more. This is NOT your fault, OP.

 

No one on the planet was more socialized than my husband. He lived in a boarding school throughout his teens. I had to stand in front of the guy and get him to talk to me when we met in his early 20's.

 

His family is just sort of socially awkward. Mine is not, and is full of business schmoozing types. It would have made no difference where we went to school.

 

I have two biological kids just like you, and one is introverted and one is extroverted. Same two parents. Two different schooling situations, as the oldest went to a loud, inner city high school the last two years. It made no difference in her innate temperament and brought her no more - and probably fewer -friends than when she was home schooled. Son has more friends, having never been in school.

 

All you can do is work from the present and not blame yourself. I actually blame myself for the influences I allowed in my daughter's life by sending her to school.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[TranquilMind]

I have been struggling with the very same thing: hating myself for homeschooling my two kids, neither of whom have any friends to speak of. We've done ok with the academic aspect of homeschooling, but I feel we (I) have totally failed at finding social outlets for my kids.

 

We've been in the same mega-church for 10 years, but neither of my ds have any real connections. Since we moved to a small town with only one active homeschool group, socialization options are few and far between.

 

OP, I know exactly where you are coming from. Most days I wish I had never heard of homeschooling. :crying:

 

When I read posts like that, I wish we could (without privacy concerns) find each other . For example, I have an 8th grade age son, doing 9th grade work, that loves to make friends and is quite good at it. I'm sure he'd love to be friends with your son!

 

What do your kids like to do? We did dance for one and hockey for the other, and both provided social outlets and exercise for the kids. Is their something they could do? A sport or volunteer position?

[EKS]

I homeschooled my older son until he was halfway through his sophomore year. Up until the end of 8th grade, he did ok because he attended the "homeschool school" provided by the local school district. 9th grade was lonely, progressively more so as the year wore on even though he did have a thing he went to with other teens once/week. Then he went to a week long residence camp and loved it. He was so joyful when he came home that I couldn't help but take notice. Fall of 10th grade was worse than 9th grade. I can see now that he was depressed.

 

So we applied to a private school. It far from perfect. He started there 2nd semester of 10th grade. He has friends now and is much happier. For us, it has been worth the trade off.

[Nan in Mass]

Another thought--if he's not connecting with the same-aged kids, skip them and move on to adults! Find an adult group with similar interests and pursue those. I watched ds for an hour yesterday (waiting for an instructor to show up) and he conversed with a man in his 60's for that entire hour about guns, shooting, etc. He came home after 8 hours, having a made a connection with two men in their 60's, having learned far more about shooting and history than he ever dreamed of. No, he's not going to call these guys up to hang out, but I can see that he might pursue the Appleseed Instructor thing--I'm going to push him a bit on it.

 

High schoolers are so focused on themselves--find a spot for your ds to work for others as a volunteer. Self-focus is never a good thing.

 

I whole-heartedly agree with this suggestion.

 

Nan

[mckive6]

I just wanted to say I can really relate. My oldest dd is 14, and this past year was the first year she was homeschooled. She attended PS through 5th grade, and private christian school for 6th and 7th. She is a smart, sweet girl but quiet. She is also an athlete. She's played travel soccer for 4 years, and ran track last year, and even went to state's for the mile and 400. She's also involved in church youth group, and girl scouts. She's willing to try new activities. After all this, she has one good friend, from the christian school.

 

I've second guessed homeschooling too, thinking I'm not helping her, but school hasn't worked either.

 

Right now, she's at a Christian girl's camp for the week, and unfortunately, it didn't start well. this is her 3rd year year, but she doesn't have a friend in her cabin this year. Her counselor made a comment for her to "use her big girl voice" when she answered someone quietly. We left her upset, but I did go to the office and ask for someone to check on her and contact me this evening.

 

Hearing it gets easier for some kids when they are older is comforting. Right now, I just try to be patient and supportive, and quietly helpful. Teenagers don't want their mom's speaking up for them.

 

Pauline

Homeschooling 2: ds, age 8, and dd age 14

Two others attending PS: dd, age 12 with Down syndrome, and ds age 8

[CyndiLJ]

We've been homeschooling our five now for 2 years, with one of our sons being homeschooled for 3. He is not our oldest, but is in the highest grade entering 8th grade this year. Matt is not a social kid, he is quiet, very self-contained and even in public school it wasn't until 4th grade that he had any friends of his own choosing (not play dates set up by mom). Then he had 2, 1 of whom left for private school the next year. We tried to maintain contact with the other friend, but it proved too difficult with very different lives, even though he was a great kid and neither of them really wanted the friendship to end. The fact was, the other kid moved forward socially way faster with girlfriends and such, while my son said unequivocally that he was not ready for that stuff yet. Truth is, our kids all were more like homeschooled kids all along despite being in a public school setting, so the transition for us was more like finding our fit.

 

What I have realized is that my son is who he is, regardless the setting. He also is FINE with who he is, and I discovered my constant questioning and fretting brought about more concern for him that he ever had for himself in the area of socialization. He has an adult friend he enjoys spending time with who has a lot of the same interests in aviation and history, he has his brothers and sisters who all really enjoy each other, he is happy with himself alone...and sometimes I think we all forget the value in being comfortable being alone because WE are not always that comfortable with it!

 

My mom has shared her insights with me and that has helped a lot. She has encouraged me not to bring trouble to the table that doesn't exist. When the subject has come up with our kids, they are very, very happy and all insist they do not want to go to public school for the kind of socialization that is there. They look at me like I am nuts when I ask them if they think they need to be around more kids! They have each other, we are fortunate to have many adults from our church who are active in their lives who they consider to be friends, and they do have many activities outside of the home with other kids, even if a close friendship has never materialized it is still "socialization" and they are happy. None of them is awkward, they move well in social situations...so the problem is really mine worrying about things not looking like they do for public schoolers.

 

It is a doubt that will continue for me though, and one I need to work on. I agree 100% that our kids would be who they are even if they were in public school, because we were in it long enough for that to prove to be correct. I also realize that this isn't really mine to "fix", that God will be with my kids, providing them with situations that will help them grow in the ways they need to grow for the life they will eventually lead. I just need to be open to them trying new things. I also need to be open to letting be who they naturally are and quit trying to feel responsible for changing them into who I think they need to be. :)

 

Cindy

[Storm Bay]

Ok I am feeling down right now and need to vent. I really am regretting homeschooling my kids. I have always homeschool our 2 youngest and our oldest from 4th grade.

 

 

What have you done in this situation?

 

First of all, it's not your fault :). I have 3 kids, and this situation has come up. I'm handling each dc separately--one is still at home, so I'll start with him. Since public school isn't an option for you, I'm only telling you about those dd's because a. it could be done with a private/charter school situation and b. it answers your question.

 

Ds has has a lot of trouble with this since we don't have a good group of dc in our neighbourhood for him and hasn't fit in well with homeschooling dc. He also hasn't made any friends on his swim team, but that is due in part to the fact that there was a boy bullying him in the locker room (we've handled it as best as we can with the coach, etc, & since the parents, who homeschool this boy, really haven't done much about it, ds no longer goes into the locker room.) However, he did extremely well at a day camp last week when he was befriended by a group of boys 1 & 2 years older than him (good kids). It went so well that I coughed up the money for another week (not that we can technically afford it, but I know the people there well & when one of the women running it asked if he could come back dh & I took it seriously). What I've realized is that he needs older dc, but ones who are relatively mature, and adults who share his interests (trumpet, swimming, airplanes, etc).

 

I expelled my eldest during her sophomore year, although to hear her tell it it was what she wanted:001_huh:. She doesn't do well socially anywhere even though she'd like to have more friends than she does, but it's been very successful for her in many ways. However, it has also caused her some pain at times, but, sadly, she is one who has to learn some lessons the hard way & she loves school overall. I'm not kidding; one of the math teachers has dc in my other dd's Judo classes, & she was laughing (nicely, as she gets a kick out of my eldest dd & she loves my middle dd who is great with her young ds's in Judo) over the way dd will walk into the math dept on Mondays talking about how glad she is that it's Monday & she's able to be back in school.

 

My middle one argued about going for months because she wanted friends that live close by, unlike the homeschooled dc we knew. She could have fit beautifully into a group in the neighbouring town as we tried an activity & it went well, but wasn't interested in having friends that far away . In her case, it has been helpful. Although she is an introvert & doesn't need a lot of friends, she has begun to blossom. However, she didn't make any close friends until I sent her to a teen camp through our church. I'm so glad we have unlimited calling, etc, so that they can keep in touch. However, the girl she got to know best at ps is busy babysitting her sister & going to camp this summer, so they haven't been able to see each other once so far.

[bugs]

I am sorry you're feeling so down.

 

My friend's daughter has been in ps all her life. She is bright, talented (singer, musician,, etc) and lovely. She has very little social skills. She had a best friend who moved away. She does have "friends" including my daughter, but they are not super close. I've known the girl for 10 years and she's spent the night, come over to play, etc. and she has never said anything to me unless I've said something to her. Her mom is very outgoing.

 

Her mom asks her everyday to do one thing to step out of her comfort zone. For instance, say "hello" to someone she knows, or raise her hand and speak out in class.

 

The whole point is that ps has not "helped" this girl be more sociable or have a close friend. It's just part of her personality. I truly think, that when she gets in college she will find like minded/hearted souls.

[ereks mom]

:grouphug:. I was talking to an old friend yesterday who used to homeschool and is now teaching again. She said the world is changing. She can always tell a homeschooler because, while they might not have all the academic skills- they are polite and respectful.

My dh's motto in life, through some very difficult circumstances is "No regrets." Did you do the best you could, with the situation you found yourself in? Did you follow the call, your heart? Your only repsponsible to be faithful to what you are called to do, not the outcomes (I hate that part).

It's o.k. We can't make the world "work" for our kids.

 

I love this. :iagree:

[Mom22ns]

I have to agree. I have a social child and a socially challenged child. The social child was fine in ps and she is fine homeschooling. My socially challenged child actually has done much better homeschooling.

 

In ps ds was alone in the midst of a crowd and it was painful. When he came home he was alone in the midst of a family that loved him and that was better. He has gradually found people he fits with. He plays D&D, hangs out with a homeschool group once a month (all the kids in his D&D group are part of this group) and has a couple of good friends at church. He has more positive social interactions now than he ever did or ever would have in ps.

 

Don't regret your choices. It may be hard, but a brick and mortar school may have been worse.

[Katy]

Have him read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

 

If you're super concerned about social skills and not that concerned about the moral issues that may arise from developing those social skills (Meaning: if you're religious and against the idea of unmarried teens developing any skills or knowledge that might give them an ability to have sex, stop reading NOW), you might also have him read something like The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss. Not that you want him to EVER become a pickup artist, but that you want him to know the social skills involved in any human interaction are not magic, they are a skill, and they have a purpose.

 

In fact, I might have my daughters read something like that before they go off to college - just so they don't fall for manipulative behavior like that.

 

At some point the guy who writes the MarriedManSexLife blog is going to come out with a book for teens on social intelligence and cover a lot of this stuff in a more appropriate way, but it's not out yet, and won't be for a few years.

[Storm Bay]

I am sorry you're feeling so down.

 

The whole point is that ps has not "helped" this girl be more sociable or have a close friend. It's just part of her personality. I truly think, that when she gets in college she will find like minded/hearted souls.

 

For some children & teens this is absolutely correct. As for my eldest, she did better socially when we pulled her out of school, but never did well. She was happier at home, though. Now she's happier in school, and while for many children this would not be how I made my decision, this is one of the factors that has us keep her there (she's going to be a senior next year, & went back to ps midway through her first sophomore semester--we have a relatively easy school system to work with & she received enough credits from her freshman year that she will be okay, etc.

 

However, as hard as it is for a ps-loathing individual as myself to admit, there are a few children who do blossom socially & even academically in public/private/charter school. This is the case for my middle dd who is well liked wherever she goes but has never been outgoing & hasn't been in a situation where she can meet friends fairly close by that she can see regularly & has never been a big phone person. The blossoming is happening slowly, which is what I want & encouraged her to do (I told her to choose her friends wisely, etc).

[Jodi-FL]

my now 18yo son had a hard time when we moved from florida to pennsylvania 3 years ago. it wasn't because he couldn't get friends, he's just the kind of kid who only wants friends that he enjoys being around (one of my other kids will have friends just to have friends). he got a job at our local CFA, and has the most wonderful group/circle of friends, and has gotten more polite to others his age (at church, etc.) that he didn't want to be friends with before, but now sees the value in more friendly interaction.

[5wolfcubs]

He likes role-playing, swords, computers, reading, and Rennesance (sp?) type things. He isn't a sports guy, though he is good at any he has tried. The kids here don't see the point of playing D&D when they can play Nintendo (which is banned in our house).

My teen daughters are the same as many have described in this thread. Two things they are currently involved in that might be possible for your ds are D&D Encounters at a local game store and the SCA.

The D&D Encounter is nationwide, drop in game. They are really enjoying it. The group is varied (and can change from week to week) and they haven't made any friends but they are getting out of the house and socializing. :)

The SCA hasn't provided any friends either (yet) but we've been consistently getting to weekly archery practice and attended a few events. I love it too. :D DD15 has big plans for purchasing leather to make her own quiver, bracers, etc, learning to make her own arrows and such.

 

He is lonely. So how about all of us get our introverted 'different' children together?

Because they would sit around looking at the floor, not talking and wishing they were elsewhere. I've tried this. :glare: Work events are enjoyable because everyone is doing and not talking...

 

I do apologize. I think I hyjacked. I assumed it would be okay to express my own frustration, as well though.

I get frustrated too. I try not to. I can't change their personalities.

:grouphug: for the OP and all!

Edited July 25, 2012 by 5wolfcubs
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[Mom22ns]

The kids here don't see the point of playing D&D when they can play Nintendo (which is banned in our house). They are into Scouting (he hates being outside.), sports, girls (he has declared he isn't ready for them yet.), dances (he hates the loud music), etc..

 

When did my son show up at your house Paradox?

 

I want to encourage parents of "different" kids to keep looking for the place they can fit. I joined every local yahoo homeschool group. Would you believe there are 5 or 6 here and we are not in a large city? While we are Christian, I joined all the secular groups too. I finally found a secular group that announced they were starting a tween/teen D&D group. Ds joined. They have monthly activities and don't mind if I just drop him off because they all love him and want him to come. It is a group of geeky kids that watch anime, go to the 80s style arcade in town, play D&D, and do other geeky activities. If you don't find such a group, try announcing that you are starting a teen D&D group on every yahoo group and venue that you can find. A new family moved to the area recently and asked on the largest local list (which is Christian) about D&D, LARP, Anime and more. I quickly replied and directed them to our much smaller list that has all they were looking for.

 

Search boldly! There are other kids out there who are just as atypical and just as lonely as yours. Help them find each other.