JumpyTheFrog Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 My 6 year old went to day camp last week from 9-3. He had a great time, but after camp each day he thought obeying us was optional. He tends to argue or throw fits a lot, but it got much worse than normal. It's still bad this week. This kind of thing also happens after our two week trips to visit family in the summer and at Christmas. In some ways, he's one of those kids that seems to need to be kept on a schedule and a (metaphorical) tight leash, or else he thinks he's in charge. We knew it would be rough for a week or two, and that we'd have to have our own "boot camp" to re-orient him into cooperating with us. Does this happen to anyone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 My kids are generally more poorly behaved after anything that has them around a large group of kids for long periods of time. It always makes me grateful that it's not the norm in our lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeeBeaks Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Yes, happens here for one of mine, and it doesn't matter at all the activity, how well organized, even one on one outings with grandma. The change of routine itself throws him out of whack. He is my child who has to have the same routine every single day or acts up. Change doesn't cause tantrums or such but rather bad behavior and talking back. He is the one who taught me as a mom to have routine! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Yes, happens here for one of mine, and it doesn't matter at all the activity, how well organized, even one on one outings with grandma. The change of routine itself throws him out of whack. He is my child who has to have the same routine every single day or acts up. Change doesn't cause tantrums or such but rather bad behavior and talking back. He is the one who taught me as a mom to have routine! ;) my house too. Don't know why, but it happens. Even with my 14 yo. dd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 My 6 year old is like this and I am seeing it RIGHT NOW (she's spending the mornings at VBS this week.) DH and I have often talked that 3-4 days is the limit for our kids (in re: to travel). Away from home any longer than that and the poor behavior abounds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Yes! This week is recovery from two VBS's and various other activities. A week of fun with other dc = a week of remembering rules and manners and how to do chores. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Yes, we've experienced it here too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted June 27, 2012 Author Share Posted June 27, 2012 Well, DH will be relieved to hear that other parents have this happen to them. It reinforces our belief that DS would not do well being at school all day. A few months ago, I was tempted to send him to a local private school because of his endless arguing. After this, I doubt I'll be tempted again, because it would likely make the problem worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 This usually happens after coming back from grandmas. ALl of their best friends live on the street and they all bring out the craziness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Well, DH will be relieved to hear that other parents have this happen to them. It reinforces our belief that DS would not do well being at school all day. A few months ago, I was tempted to send him to a local private school because of his endless arguing. After this, I doubt I'll be tempted again, because it would likely make the problem worse. Wow, I think we might be parenting the same child.... :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joani Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Yes, this happens to my youngest. I think it has to do with not being used to having different expectations in different settings. My older kids (who were in public school for elementary school) never had this issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Well, DH will be relieved to hear that other parents have this happen to them. It reinforces our belief that DS would not do well being at school all day. A few months ago, I was tempted to send him to a local private school because of his endless arguing. After this, I doubt I'll be tempted again, because it would likely make the problem worse. I am amazed at how quickly bad behavior is manifested. After only ONE day spent with children who do not live under the same rules as we do, my normally obedient, easy-going sons were talking back ( WHY do we have to do ABC, can't we do CBA?). I quickly reminded them of the rules of our house but I can't imagine having this battle on a daily basis. No thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Mine is the same way. It's hard to imagine with all the things i post about his behavior, but he was worse when in public school. His behavior therapist last year was pushing me to put him in an alllll day behavior camp. No thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deniseibase Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 My DS age 6 did a summer day camp last year. He came home argumentative and whiny, too. Some of it was simply that he was tired out from the extra activity, so give your guy some extra rest & that might help. But YES most of it was the other kids. We had talks in the car on the way home EVERY DAY about what kids had done that was unacceptable - everything from singing little racist songs to actually hitting the teacher - this was in a group of kids age 5-7!!! Bless him, he really wanted to do it again this year...I set him up with lots of play dates with NICE friends instead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Could it be exhaustion? Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Yes, I've noticed this too. It's most noticeable in my ds who is very extroverted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Could it be exhaustion? Laura :iagree: I think this is the case with my kids. They *love* to go places and do things but they also come home crabby, tired and overstimulated. During our last round of VBS, I planned afternoon activities because they wanted to keep up our regular schedule. It was too much and they were exhausted. For the next VBS, I am canceling all afternoon activities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 All of my dc have done this every time they went to something where there was bad behavior (church classes, camps, family events, etc.) I know several friends with behavioral expectations whose dc do the same. It usually takes a few days to get the "old child" back. :D The good news is that as they get older, it takes less and less time to rid them of the behaviors they picked up, and they start to pick up less of them. I think it's a result of seeing the negative behaviors be effective for another child (gets them what they want, gets them attention, etc.) and thinking they should try it out. :lol: Then you have to remind them what family they live in. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKDmom Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 My ds8 went to Cub Scout day camp a few weeks ago, and he was unbearable when he came home each day. He was crabby and mean and refused to do anything. I chalked it up to the fact that he had just spent 8 hours running around outdoors in the Florida heat and humidity. I let him get away with just laying on the couch and did his chores for him most of that week. Now he's back to normal (and he's hardly an angel, but at least I don't have to deal with his exhaustion on top of his normal attitude). All my kids have done some form of day camp this summer--it has been a great cure for my thinking that maybe ps was easier than homeschooling. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I have seen this with my 13yo dd also. IMO, part of it is exhaustion and also eating a different diet than what we are used to here at home. However, I also think it stems from having to become more independent when in the company of peers. Our dc, who normally have our rules and us to direct them, suddenly have to become very self directed/controlled. I do think the challenge is good, but I also think it shifts them into a different mindset that can be difficult for them to switch off when returning home. Dh and I call it the Reentry Period. We tell dd to get some rest and feed her some "home food" and leave her alone for a few hours. Then we give her the opporutnity to do a debriefing where she can tell us what she thinks happened and we chat about any noteworthy behavior by her or others. Then we gently remind her that our rules still stand and we have developed our way of doing things over a period of several years because they work best for us and remind her to put her "camp self" away until next time and to don her normal role again. After than, any bad behavior is dealt with as it would be normally - no exceptions for having been away. I think it is normal and understandable, but not license to continue inappropriate behavior at home. What works and is needed at camp won't cut it here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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