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What do you take/do for family after loved one dies?


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A friend just lost his mother yesterday and I would like to take something to her home as I know he and his two siblings will be staying there during the next week as the deal with the planning of her funeral etc. I was thinking maybe a deli platter or fruit/cheese platter? I know his sister is funny about eating food from homes she's not been in, so I was planning on purchasing something. Does anyone have any better ideas?

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A friend just lost his mother yesterday and I would like to take something to her home as I know he and his two siblings will be staying there during the next week as the deal with the planning of her funeral etc. I was thinking maybe a deli platter or fruit/cheese platter? I know his sister is funny about eating food from homes she's not been in, so I was planning on purchasing something. Does anyone have any better ideas?

 

This is what I usually do. Along with the costco size water bottles or juice drinks. Food is usually the last thing people in mourning want to think about.

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You are on the right track. Something that can be refrigerated and brought out whenever is always good.

 

Papergoods are great! A few rolls of toilet paper can be a lifesaver if the household is caught without.

 

And AMEN to remembering them six or eight weeks (and MONTHS) from now.

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When daddy died, we appreciated a big plate of rolls and ham. They made quick snacks. I have to say though, the things I appreciated most were the foods and cards that came later. The grief process takes time. It was nice someone remembered a month out.

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This is a little off-topic... But I try to make a note in my calendar for about 6-8 weeks after the funeral. Then I send another card, telling the bereaved that I'm still thinking of them. Sometimes I think people get a rush of attention right after the loss and then all of a sudden, it dies down. But it hurts for SO long afterwards, I just like to try to remind them I'm there if they want to talk.

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Food is always helpful. When my mom passed away, several people sent me edible fruit baskets. One of the days I was so stressed out trying to handle all of the funeral arrangements and make plans for out of town family, that the fruit from the baskets was the only thing I ate. Deli trays are also a good idea.

 

Gift cards to a restaurant are good too. After it was all over, I still wasn't ready for my life to get back to normal, including cooking meals. The restaurant gift cards I received were just what we needed on the days when I was still overwhelmed with grief.

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Any easy-to-serve food with minimal clean up. I buy a container of Rotisserie Chicken Salad from SAM's club with a bag of Deli Flats bun things. Delicious, and easy to make a sandwich whenever anyone is hungry. Add some bottled water/juice/sodas (individual servings) and baby carrots & grapes and it;s a nutritious easy meal. "uncrustables" PB&J sandwiches if children will be visiting.

 

A gift card to a restaurant or take-out place is also nice. Paper plates/plastic forks/paper cups are also nice to have.

 

Not having to shop, cook, microwave, heat up, and clean up is such a blessing.

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If you really want to be considered thoughtful...remember them the first Thanksgiving/Christmas season and the first Mother's Day without their mom. Grief takes years sometimes to mellow and quit hurting.

 

17 years of Mother's Days without my mom...and counting...;)

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