WWYD: Child's loss of computer priviledges

[Robin M]

Wonderful boy child decided to go on to Amazon using my computer and purchase a mario game. Said child messed up by asking me when I came out of the shower if I would like him to sign us off of Amazon since we were still signed in. Instant alert. Checked and sure enough he had ordered a game. Fortunately I was able to cancel the order.

 

So how long should the dear child lose computer privileges for? A day, week, month. I'm inclined to removed it except for school work until he is 13. But right now I'm just ticked. Haven't talked to hubby yet but right now have unplugged it for the rest of the week.

[Starr]

Well he didn't steal a comic book from the drugstore. If this is generally out of character for him I would try and calm down. A year would be an awful long time. :D A time without and a time when you have to be with him and a new Amazon code would work for me. :grouphug:

[EKS]

For infractions that are serious violations of trust, I don't give a specific time frame. I just say no more computer until the kid has earned back my trust. The 15yo is going on two months here at the moment.

[*********]

I'm curious if you asked your ds any of these questions, because I would have wanted to know:

 

How he was going to explain a new game showing up in the mail.

 

How he thought you wouldn't notice the charge on your credit card.

 

:001_huh:

 

I just don't even know what to say. I mean, did he *really* think he would just order a game, and no one would notice?!

 

Dude, kids are dense. :tongue_smilie: I bet I did something just as brainless as a kid. :D

 

If it were one of my boys, the issue would be that they were being sneaky; doing something they knew they shouldn't. Which in this case, really meant they both stole and lied (in our house, sneaky = lying). So, not only would they lose the internet/computer for a LONG time, they'd lose my trust, too.

 

Seriously, lying like that at age 12 would be a BIG deal 'round here. It would probably be a matter of months before they were allowed unsupervised internet access again.

 

Good luck with that, mom. :grouphug: I know you're mad, and rightly so. But remember, we were 12 once too, and probably messed up just as bad. Yes, he needs to learn his lesson; just remember to teach it with love and grace.

[QueenCat]

I don't know the answer to how long... but I would wait until I calmed down before making any determination on length.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Is there any possibility it was an accidental order? If not, it's hard to say. I think it would involve extensive loss of computer privileges here though.

[Melissa in Australia]

Is there any possibility it was an accidental order? If not, it's hard to say. I think it would involve extensive loss of computer privileges here though.

:iagree:

I can see my kids clicking on buy instead of add to wish list by accident.

[Haiku]

Unless this is an ongoing problem, I wouldn't ban the computer. I would simply say, "Son, that was stupid. You charged a game to my credit card. Of course I would find out. Don't do it again. If you do, the consequence will be XYZ."

 

Don't rush to punish when you don't need to. I have one dc who responds only to action, not discussion, so she earns consequences immediately. But I usually don't have to resort to that with my other two. They do dumb stuff, yeah, but when I point out to them that 1) it was dumb and 2) I have eyes in the back of my head, ears glued to the walls, and ESP, they usually don't repeat.

 

Tara

[Tasia]

I tend to think of this more of a stealing/sneaking issue than a computer issue. If one of my boys spent my money on a video game without asking, he would be doing extra chores to pay me back. I'd either ban him from the computer or all electronics until his debt was paid.

[Jpoy85]

I would sit down with the child and ask what exactly happened and why. Then go from there. Instead of Taking away the computer- supervise. If you dont want to supervise, block amazon on your account OR make the kids their own computer user account with limited access.

[amey311]

:iagree:

I can see my kids clicking on buy instead of add to wish list by accident.

 

Or that "buy it with one click" thing rather than "add to cart" where it could sit without actually being purchased unless you went thru more steps. The first time I clicked that I was startled to suddenly get the "super! now you own ABC!" notice and was thankful it was something I did want to buy RIGHT NOW.

 

And yeah - I'm a literate adult but hadn't really thought about what the "one click" would actually mean.

[StephanieF]

ds8 "bought" a book on the kindle yesterday, totally by accident, he pressed the wrong button. I'd just check that your ds didn't do the same, it is quite easy to press the buy button thinking that you'll be able to change your mind later

Stephanie

[mumto2]

Since my Ds is 12 too my first question is how he imagined he could get away with it. Talk to him.

 

Second question to dh and myself is should HE buy it. My son is very careful with his money. Actually invests it--his uncles find funny so he gets good gift checks. Anyway the pain of having to pay for a brand new, not discounted., Mario, would be huge! I would be totally tempted to make that happen.:lol:

 

Finally no computer time without permission indefinitely.

[AmyontheFarm]

That is exactly why there is no credit card attached to my account. Only, I was the one with the surprised look on my face when a package arrived at the door. So, at that point I decided I could retype in my card number every time I want to order something.

[Robin M]

Now cooler headed and have discussed more in depth with son. He decided he wanted to buy it so used my computer instead of his. My computer isn't or wasn't password protected. It is now. Yes, I was signed into Amazon because its convenient for me. And because it is my computer which he knows is off limits for him.

 

No he doesn't have enough money. It slips through his fingers like water. His allowance is spent as soon as he gets it. He figured we'd just go oops and let him have the game when it arrived. He did this once by accident a few years back and got a mothra godzilla movie. We kept it. Explained that wouldn't have been the case this time and it would have been returned immediately.

 

I also caught him deleting links off his history so I would not be able to see what he had gotten into. He is supervised most of the time, but I can't keep my eye on him every second while cooking dinner. He and his dad once stumbled upon an site I wouldn't approve of and he showed his dad how to delete it so I wouldn't know. :banghead:

 

 

At this point he was down to 30 minutes a day usage. Removed his computer until which time I can install a tracker on it and informed him it either the tracker or no computer use whatsoever. Who knows how long it will take me to install the software.;) He's still trying to negotiate and talk me out of it with pie crust promises. He's the world worst liar which is a good thing and can't keep secrets worth a darn. It's almost like he wants to get caught. Know he's not doing for attention since we are together 24/7 and gets plenty. If its boredom, well I have plenty of chores he can do.

 

Like I said to someone earlier, the teenage gene seems to have kicked in early, plus puberty started, so..... It's a whole new ballgame. I just wish I knew which inning we are in.