What grade would you place him in?

[wehave8]

Ds, age 8, (birthday is 9-03-03) would be in 2nd grade if in our public school. I was considering him a 3rd grader in our homeschool because of his birthday being so close to the beginning of a school year. He is not up to 3rd grade work in math and reading, but finally advancing in bigger steps!! Would you register him as a 2nd or 3rd grader? Should I keep pushing him or relax and enjoy? I only ask because we have to test in 3rd, 5th, & 8th grades here in PA, and I will have to test this year if I chose 3rd grade.

 

Two thoughts:

1. If we place him as 2nd grade and he advances through okay we will have more time to possibly do some dual enrollment in highschool years.

 

2. If we place him in 3rd grade he will be in the same grade as our grandson and his other friends at church (They go to our church school)that have birthdays within 6 weeks as his.

 

Thanks~~~Pam

[Ellie]

I always recommend placing a child *on paper* in the grade he'd be in if he were in school, based on his age and the cut-off in that state.

 

However, you're talking about what to put on the Official Paperwork for your state, yes? Because he's already in classes and whatnot at church, yes?

 

I'd list his Official Grade Level as 3rd. You made that decision when you placed him a year ahead in Sunday school, and that's what he thinks he is, and his friends think he is. It will mess up your head, and his, if you try to think of him as "second grade" on paper but he's in third grade classes/activities.

 

JMHO, of course. :)

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I personally place them in what grade they are in by age. What our school work is goes by ability, not grade level. As you can see in my siggy my kids are fairly average though (in most areas. As with all kids they have their struggles.)

[SebastianCat]

I would ask yourself what grade you'd want him in when he gets to middle school or high school. Do you want him to be the youngest in his peer group (even at church, athletics, extracurriculars, etc.) or the oldest in his peer group?

 

I have several friends who put their children in church classes a year ahead of their same-age peers, because that's where they were working academically. They all expressed regret when their children entered middle school. I haven't heard the same from friends who intentionally held their child back in a younger grade, though.

[wehave8]

I always recommend placing a child *on paper* in the grade he'd be in if he were in school, based on his age and the cut-off in that state.

 

The cut-off in our school distric is very strict with Sept. 1st....His birthday is Sept. 3rd. I didn't know this when we started him as a first grader. That's what makes the decision a bit harder.

 

However, you're talking about what to put on the Official Paperwork for your state, yes? Because he's already in classes and whatnot at church, yes?

 

Yes

 

I'd list his Official Grade Level as 3rd. You made that decision when you placed him a year ahead in Sunday school, and that's what he thinks he is, and his friends think he is. It will mess up your head, and his, if you try to think of him as "second grade" on paper but he's in third grade classes/activities.

 

JMHO, of course. :)

 

It's a tough call. :(

[lorisuewho]

Ds, age 8, (birthday is 9-03-03) would be in 2nd grade if in our public school. I was considering him a 3rd grader in our homeschool because of his birthday being so close to the beginning of a school year. He is not up to 3rd grade work in math and reading, but finally advancing in bigger steps!! Would you register him as a 2nd or 3rd grader? Should I keep pushing him or relax and enjoy? I only ask because we have to test in 3rd, 5th, & 8th grades here in PA, and I will have to test this year if I chose 3rd grade.

 

Two thoughts:

1. If we place him as 2nd grade and he advances through okay we will have more time to possibly do some dual enrollment in highschool years.

 

2. If we place him in 3rd grade he will be in the same grade as our grandson and his other friends at church (They go to our church school)that have birthdays within 6 weeks as his.

 

Thanks~~~Pam

 

I struggle with this same question. My son is by age a Kindergartner, but academically a solid first grader. But do I really want him to be with older kids for all of his academic years?

And, I also, like you, wonder if maybe I should just ease up a bit and treat him academically like the age he is. But then I feel I'm not challenging him.

 

I don't have any answers. I just wanted to say I understand how difficult the call is.

[sassenach]

Ds's bday is at the end of August. I debated his grade placement after his first year of K, which mostly was a bust because of a huge cross country move. In the end, I chose to keep him in the lower grade and repeat K. Well, actually, I didn't decide that till about half way through the year. The first half of the year, I was just evaluating him. The thing that helped us is the opposite of your situation. Many of his age-mate friends were in the lower grade. He ended up with a lot of friends who had Oct/Nov/Dec birthdays, and all of them were in K rather than 1st. I'm happy with the choice. He's doing solid 3rd grade work, and will be 18 rather than 17 when he graduates, which is better in my mind. If ever we wanted to, we could accelerate him up a grade level.

 

I'm not sure that any of that will help you! I'm really not sure what I would do in your shoes.

[Aurelia]

That's a hard one. What I would do, since he's not at 3rd grade level in math and reading, is call him a 2nd grader on paper. He can still stay where he is for his extracurricular stuff, if that's where he is socially, right? And if he suddenly takes off and advances faster than anticipated, can you "skip" a grade later on?

[Snoopytwo]

I have had a similar situation. My daughter should be in 3rd this year; that is what grade she tells other people she is in. However, she is a struggling reader and not doing "3rd grade work". She would not be ready to complete testing this spring. So on the official paperwork, I listed her as 2nd grade so she won't have to take the test until next year.

 

I know many people in PA that have moved their child up a grade without any problem. That is what I will do if and when my daughter gets to grade level.

[wehave8]

I struggle with this same question. My son is by age a Kindergartner, but academically a solid first grader. But do I really want him to be with older kids for all of his academic years?

And, I also, like you, wonder if maybe I should just ease up a bit and treat him academically like the age he is. But then I feel I'm not challenging him.

 

I don't have any answers. I just wanted to say I understand how difficult the call is.

 

The biggest difference between us and you is that yours is "advanced" and mine is "behind".

 

If mine was advanced I'd keep him in the "grade" according to his age and let him go as high and as fast as he could. He could always take advanced courses the last few years to count toward college. KWIM?

 

Pam

[Amie]

My son has an October birthday (not as close, I know) and will be working at first grade level. However, we plan to call him "kindergarten" as he would be in our public schools.

 

For us: It keeps things simple. It gives us "wiggle room" if the rate of his progression fluctuates down the road. It leaves room on the backside for dual enrollment, etc., and by then a grade adjustment/early graduation call is much easier to make than trying to plan it from here. Also, my dh was grade skipped very early on (mind you, he was in public school) and felt the effects of having to be younger physically and socially than everyone else (he feels this mattered most in trying to play sports as a boy), so we are taking that into consideration where it applies.

[mom2hunangirls]

My daughter's birthday is 9/12 (we also have a 9/1 cutoff).

The way our school district "registers" is that we must sign a letter of intent to homeschool when they are 6 yrs old as of 9/1. So that's when I did her...they don't care what grade level I'm teaching her.

 

For church, they kept her in her age group. At first it bugged me, but after a year she was used to those friends and she progresses with them. She's homeschooled so it's not like she is with x group at school and y group at church.

In her enrichment school (1 day a week) they let me out her up a grade to match what level she was doing at home. So this year she's in 3rd grade curriculum (would be 2nd grade in ps), 3rd grade enrichment class...which is lumped with 4th grade too. Academically she's better than fine. But this year we have seen that developmentally (not even socially) being with even the true 3rd graders....she's not where they are. And while nothing bad has happened. She would have been better served staying with her true age group. And I'm not saying she's awkward, she has great social fun there. She's just the youngest in a group of girls going through different developmental stuff, and I wish I had seen that coming.

All of that made me think of her finishing hs a year early.... Which I'm fine with her doing. But I don't anticipate sending her off anywhere that first yr or two.

 

So, just my experience, teach at whatever level they are. Put keep them where they would be with their cutoff with anything non-academic.

[Jilly]

Ds, age 8, (birthday is 9-03-03) would be in 2nd grade if in our public school. I was considering him a 3rd grader in our homeschool because of his birthday being so close to the beginning of a school year. He is not up to 3rd grade work in math and reading, but finally advancing in bigger steps!! Would you register him as a 2nd or 3rd grader? Should I keep pushing him or relax and enjoy?

 

If he was at public school he would be in 2nd grade, even though his birthday is so close to the cut-off. For this reason, along with the fact that he is not up to 3rd grade work yet, I would classify him as a 2nd grader. He is still very young, and I believe at that age it is always better to be relaxed as opposed to pushing. In a few years you can re-evaluate and see if he needs to be bumped up a grade.

[Amie]

Ds, age 8, (birthday is 9-03-03) would be in 2nd grade if in our public school. I was considering him a 3rd grader in our homeschool because of his birthday being so close to the beginning of a school year. He is not up to 3rd grade work in math and reading, but finally advancing in bigger steps!! Would you register him as a 2nd or 3rd grader? Should I keep pushing him or relax and enjoy? I only ask because we have to test in 3rd, 5th, & 8th grades here in PA, and I will have to test this year if I chose 3rd grade.

 

Two thoughts:

1. If we place him as 2nd grade and he advances through okay we will have more time to possibly do some dual enrollment in highschool years.

 

2. If we place him in 3rd grade he will be in the same grade as our grandson and his other friends at church (They go to our church school)that have birthdays within 6 weeks as his.

 

Thanks~~~Pam

 

Looking at this again, I have some more thoughts. I didn't quite catch the "grandson" part at first; I guess I read it more as just friends. The thing I'm wondering about is graduation. I love the idea of having more freedom and flexibility at that time, but if he grows up very close to your grandson (we're not talking a casual friend next door who may eventually move out of his life). I'm thinking they will want to share everything together including same grades and graduation. I'm not sure how your state regulates homeschooling or how formally you treat graduation, but I could see this becoming more important to him the older he gets.

 

My kids have an uncle not much older than them, so I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. I think if it was me and I could foresee them having a close relationship (living in same town long term, etc) and not much of a chance he will go to a brick/mortar school, I would probably try to keep them together as much as possible. In my state though none of this would really matter until it came time for them to graduate--then I could make sure they were ready to graduate together--the grades/levels up to that point don't matter as much. We aren't required to test here and that is the part that would make things tricky. I wouldn't want the pressure of forcing him in a grade he wasn't ready for...

If your family is as close as mine, I'm thinking I'd make an exception and keep them in the same grade. But I'm me and live in a different state. ;) I don't think its worth it though if testing at a different grade is going to cause a lot of pressure and stress on you or him.

Edited March 2, 2012 by Amie

[wehave8]

Thank you everyone for the input! A lot to think about and pray about. I will talk again to my dh and see what we decide.

 

Looking at this again, I have some more thoughts. I didn't quite catch the "grandson" part at first; I guess I read it more as just friends. The thing I'm wondering about is graduation. I love the idea of having more freedom and flexibility at that time, but if he grows up very close to your grandson (we're not talking a casual friend next door who may eventually move out of his life). I'm thinking they will want to share everything together including same grades and graduation. I'm not sure how your state regulates homeschooling or how formally you treat graduation, but I could see this becoming more important to him the older he gets.

 

My kids have an uncle not much older than them, so I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. I think if it was me and I could foresee them having a close relationship (living in same town long term, etc) and not much of a chance he will go to a brick/mortar school, I would probably try to keep them together as much as possible. In my state though none of this would really matter until it came time for them to graduate--then I could make sure they were ready to graduate together--the grades/levels up to that point don't matter as much. We aren't required to test here and that is the part that would make things tricky. I wouldn't want the pressure of forcing him in a grade he wasn't ready for...

If your family is as close as mine, I'm thinking I'd make an exception and keep them in the same grade. But I'm me and live in a different state. ;) I don't think its worth it though if testing at a different grade is going to cause a lot of pressure and stress on you or him.

:iagree: These reasons make it hard to choose!

[Amie]

Thank you everyone for the input! A lot to think about and pray about. I will talk again to my dh and see what we decide.

 

 

:iagree: These reasons make it hard to choose!

 

Do your kids take much notice of grades? Does it come up a lot in everyday life? (It doesn't as much here, so they wouldn't notice or care so much if they were in different grades--at least in the early years.) I think if he is having a hard time working up to the higher grade I would call him the lower grade for now (at least as far as your state is concerned). Then try to work towards him being able to graduate with relatives/friends. If it looks like that is a possiblity, officially skip him up a grade later on. Having to "hold him back" or stall him out a grade would probably affect him a lot more if he is older. On the other hand, allowing him to "progress" or "skip ahead" when he is older would be viewed as a positive thing. (I know this is a tough decision for you. :grouphug:)

Edited March 2, 2012 by Amie

[ChandlerMom]

I would register him as 2nd grade, but keep him in the 3rd grade SS class.

 

As you mentioned, he's NOT doing 3rd grade level work, so you're going to make state testing stressful for yourself. Also, the CW is that BOYS do best redshirted (being the oldest rather than youngest in a class). This is especially true if you think he might be interested in sports at some time.

 

As to graduating with your grandson -- I think you're worrying WAY too far ahead of yourself. Is it worth 9 years of stress trying to "keep up" being the youngest in a group because *maybe* the kids will care then? You don't know what will happen between now and then. Someone could move. They may grow apart. Your ds might be ready to graduate at 16. WOuld you hold him back so he'd be in the same class as your grandson? You see, it's a slippery slope.

 

I think it is easier to go with where he'd be if he was in ps. Again, if you were saying he was big for his age and doing 4th grade level work, maybe... And as PP mentioned, it's easier/better to skip ahead later than to hold back a grade later. Mind you, they'd probably only let you skip ahead if you do it in a way that doesn't "miss" a required testing. :p

 

Anyway, what you report to the state and what you use for extra-curric placement doesn't have to be the same.

Edited March 2, 2012 by ChandlerMom

[TracyP]

I would go with 2nd grade "on paper." My dd has a Sep. 7th birthday and I call her a 2nd grader. It seems to me like a choice between a 2nd grader who is excelling and a 3rd grader who is doing okay. I would definitely let your dc excel as a 2nd grader. That is what he is! You can always advance a grade later on, but it is only going to get harder to hold him back as he gets older.

[Caribbean Queen]

I would register him as 2nd grade, but keep him in the 3rd grade SS class.

:iagree:

[wehave8]

I would register him as 2nd grade, but keep him in the 3rd grade SS class.

 

As you mentioned, he's NOT doing 3rd grade level work, so you're going to make state testing stressful for yourself. Also, the CW is that BOYS do best redshirted (being the oldest rather than youngest in a class). This is especially true if you think he might be interested in sports at some time.

 

 

:iagree:

:iagree:It's looking like the route to take!

[Mommy22alyns]

That's a hard one. What I would do, since he's not at 3rd grade level in math and reading, is call him a 2nd grader on paper. He can still stay where he is for his extracurricular stuff, if that's where he is socially, right? And if he suddenly takes off and advances faster than anticipated, can you "skip" a grade later on?

 

 

I agree with the bolded.

[CatholicMom]

I would put him in whatever grade he would be in in public school. If his bday is super close I would put him in the younger grade so if he were in PS he would be one of the "oldest kids" in the class... give an edge, makes it easier on both of you, less paranoia for years to come. ;)

[foxbridgeacademy]

I would go with 2nd. First you won't have to test, second when you do test he will be at or above level.

[Carol S]

That's a hard one. What I would do, since he's not at 3rd grade level in math and reading, is call him a 2nd grader on paper. He can still stay where he is for his extracurricular stuff, if that's where he is socially, right? And if he suddenly takes off and advances faster than anticipated, can you "skip" a grade later on?

:iagree:

[SkateLeft]

Honestly, I'd just call him a 2nd grader and be done with it. You're much better of doing it now than having to do it in middle school or high school. As others have said, I'd keep him where he's at for extracurriculars and just see how it goes.

[chepyl]

I would call him second on paper since he is not at a third grade level, you want a good foundation when he has to test. Call him third for extracurriculars if that so where his friends are.