I had / will have my last child at age ____ and here are my thoughts on that

[Negin]

still feeling very heartsick and guilty over the fact that I feel like a failure.

You should not for one moment feel like a failure. :grouphug:

[MrsJewelsRae]

Well, so far we had our last child at age 29. I was 22 with my first, 24 with my 2nd and we would have like 1 or 2 in between #2 and #3, but IF sucks. We can't get pg on our own and the stress and depression of fertility treatments last time around made us agree to not pursue treatment again, though if it happened on its own we'd be thrilled. We just decided we're going to go back to the RE again, and I'm 32, ttc #4. I want to be done by 35 at the latest.

[AdventureMoms]

I was 26 when my first was born and 29 when the twins were born. I only gave birth to DD so I can't compare pregnancies (plus I wasn't very much older anyhow). I think we are done. But the twins are only 14months, so I can't be certain. I always wanted a LOT more kids, but now I'm surprising myself by feeling pretty happy about the idea of being done.

 

So I have three kids within 2.5 years, all before my 30th birthday.

 

Pros: We had time to do fun stuff (TRAVEL) before kids (DW is the same age as me), and we will hopefully have time to do fun stuff after they've gone (we will be in our late 40's when the twins finish up highschool). We really, really want to travel with our kids, and more kids would make that hard. Also traveling with an infant or toddler is super hard, so another kid would mean we'd have to delay that stuff and probably do less of it. I feel that I'm old enough to have developed some patience, but I still have plenty of energy (which is good with three tiny crazy people). I think having everyone in a 2.5 year span will make homeschooling easier. I will never have to homeschool with a newborn around, and my homeschooling with toddlers phase will only really affect kindergarden.

 

Cons: I'd love to give DD a sister. Part of me would like to have one more. I'd like another shot at breastfeeding. Babies smell good. Three so close in age is EXHAUSTING right now (not that I could have spread them out - twins do that to you). Yeah, I can't come up with any more cons than that. This exercise is convincing me that I really may be done, lol.

 

Random story:

I have an aunt, who had her first at 17 and her second at 19. She was 40 when her youngest graduated college (2 year program). She and her husband were able to do things like fly to California (they live in NY) and ride their bikes home. They did a couple of big adventures like this. Now they've slowed down a bit (pushing 60) but they still have energy to take their 6 grandchildren on adventures on a frequent basis. Their life started out HARD (two babies and no money when they were very, very young), but turned out awesome in so many ways.

[forty-two]

Sort of emotionally spewed all over the thread in my last response, and kinda sidestepped the actual point :doh. Had first dd at 25, 2nd at 27, and 3rd (and last) at 30. Aside from wanting one more, I'm good with being done at 30. Grandparents are still young and active, and several great-grandparents are still alive. Pgs were physically pretty easy, and I've got plenty of energy, can lug around toddlers with no problem -I'm good with the timing all around.

[vonfirmath]

I had my first baby at 1 month shy of 34 and my last baby at 1 month shy of 38. (and she's 5 months old now...)

 

No regrets on having her. But I definitely feel more tired than the first. And there were complications during the birth that have us thinking she's probably our last.

 

And yet...

We'll see.

[Ewe Mama]

We adopted out first about 12 days shy of my 30th bday, after 5 years of marriage and infertility testing.

 

2nd came to us when I was 31.

 

3rd came when I was 32.

 

I gave birth to our first bio child the day after my 33rd bday.

 

2nd bio was born when I was 34.

 

I just turned 39 and we are praying for another. My dh will be 53 in a couple of months, but he was the one who asked if we could try for another baby. I'm more then open to the idea of having another child to love and chase around, and I'm trilled that dh suggested it.

 

Both of my pregnancies were fine (aside from constant throwing up with #1 and constant heartburn with #2) and I had two wonderful homebirths.

 

We were exhausted with our gaggle of children coming so quickly (5 under 4 years of age and they were all at different stages) but we loved it and learned a lot. I think we will be more laid back if we are blessed with another child.

[Tarreymere]

Last child at age 42. He was a planned induction /probably c-section (yep) at 37 weeks after having home-birthed. He had a ginormous head. Everything went well and he was fine. Just had a big head and weighed nearly ten pounds. Probably wanted to be a twelve pounder if he could have went to term. I was negative for gestational diabetes, too.

 

After age 35 I felt more tired with my pregnancies and needed more rest. Not much else was different.

 

I wish I could still have the potential to have more, but at my age I think I have to accept that the childbearing part of my life has passed. I like babies and kids. I've worked outside the home, travelled, and have a college degree, but I found raising my kids to be the most fulfilling thing I've done.

[lcelmer]

I had my last child when I was 35. I could have gone for another but dh was done. He thought he was getting too old. He'd say, "Do you know how old I'll be when this child graduates?" I never cared about that.

 

 

 

I'm in the same place. DH says he is too old. I had my last at 31ish. :-(

 

I don't care about the age at graduation, etc either. I don't mind my grey hair, and I will always be "young enough" to swing on the swings with kidlets at the park, eat cake for breakfast, and LAUGH at life. :D

[MrsBear]

I got married at 37, and had our boys at 38,40, and our last (biological, anyway) at 42.

 

I would have loved to have gotten married a few years earlier, and had another child or two! But, I didn't meet the right one till later...and he was worth the wait!

 

I was fortunate enough to have healthy pregnancies and children, so the transition into motherhood was not terribly difficult. I'm sure I would have had more energy and stamina if I had had them a decade sooner. But, I don't think I'd have had the patience or self-control that I have with them now, so it's a trade off.

 

Effect on our marriage? Well, wee've pretty much never been alone!! :) But, we have a very good relationship, that has gotten stronger these past 6 years. We just need to find a good babysitter!

 

Another late bloomer here too!

 

Married DH a week before I turned 37, had DS7 shortly after turning 38 and DS1 a few months shy of 45. I too wish we had a bit more alone time (DH & I), but it is what it is and I wouldn't change how it's all worked out for us.

[NASDAQ]

I'm pregnant with #4 and I'm 28.

 

We're not done, but I am a little wide-eyed at having to keep the current crop going while I'm pregnant. My pregnancies involve a lot of vomiting.

 

I was 22 with my first. Oddly enough, that was by far the worst pregnancy.

[Negin]

My pregnancies involve a lot of vomiting.

 

Same here. :glare:

[awisha.]

I had ds when I was 21 nearly 22 and we are not having anymore children.

[NancyNellen]

Fifth and (most likely) last at age 32. I would likely happily have one more. Dh says, "No way." All in all, I am happy :001_smile:

[Gisele Marie]

We adopted our daughter when our sons were 10 and 13. I was 35. I am now almost 49, both boys are married and our adopted daughter is 14. I would do it again in a second but I definitely am more tired than when I raised my boys :). I think all children are a blessing!

Gisele

[*Michelle*]

33 and currently pregnant with our fifth. Will this be our last? I'm not sure. Our first child passed away while I was pregnant with our second. In my mind, it always seems like we can handle one more because I see myself as a mother of x number, even though we only have y number with us.

 

I suppose it depends on how easy the new baby is. :)

[Tasia]

I had my last child at 39, but Dh was 46, so he was ready to be done. Our youngest has Autism, which I think would have been scary and overwhelming had I been a young mother.

[blondeviolin]

I had our last at 26...but he's still a wee one and we're not done. ;)

[Mommyof4ks]

I had my last at 26, and part of me is sad that we cannot give them everything that we would like to because we do not have the money we will later. My kids are amazing, and I love the life we have, it is just that I want to give them more opportunities than I can now. By the time we cannot easily afford that my dd will be grown. :( It is nice that I still feel like a kid, so I am having a blast being a mom and being silly with them. My kids tell me I am a cool mom often, because we do a lot of concerts, theme parks, and so on. I do not know that I will still enjoy those things in ten years, but that is just going by what my parents were like and they had kids a bit later.

[Alphabetika]

I had my last child at 43. I am more tired than I was with my first, but my older kids really help out with her, and she is super bonded to my dh.

 

The good is that we have more money and other resources than we had when we were younger, and the bad is that I have less energy.

 

:iagree:This is me exactly, except at 41 instead of 43.

[didadeewiththree]

I had my last child at the age of 24. I liked the fact that I was done early, but I miss having little ones around.

[rosesinsummer]

We'll leave the door open for more until it gets closed by menopause. My heart will always want one more, I think, especially as the clock ticks closer to the end in the golden years of fertility.

[rwjx2khsmj]

I have 4 children. I had the first at age 29. I had the last at age 38. I was more patient, more self-controlled, more tolerant and more tired with the last than with the first.

 

Now, seven years later, I am a competent and enthusiastic parent to a dd15, dd13, ds10 and dd7. I am so pleased that I waited a bit to have children and I do not regret for a moment that I am 40+ and dealing with teenagers. I am certain that only maturity, tenacity and stamina give me an advantage.

[Shellers]

I had my first baby at 21, and my last baby at 30.

[LibraryLover]

What is going on with the bumping of old threads today?

[Donna]

I had my last child at 32. My first pregnancy ended with a preemie and my last two had me on bed rest for preterm labor for weeks and weeks. I figured I would not push my luck again and I feel like our family is complete. Until I had dd, I always felt like I wanted another baby but I have not had that feeling again. I am perfectly happy with life the way it is.

[DawnM]

My youngest child that I gave birth to was when I was 32, almost 33. I was 37 when my youngest actual child was born, but he is adopted and we adopted him when he was 2.5 years old, I was 40.

 

When I think of another I get VERY tired.

 

Dawn

[Onceuponatime]

5th child arrived at Age 40. Total surprise , to me. Dc4 announced he had been praying hard for a baby brother.

 

I wouldn't give him up for anything, but I definitely don't want any more. Nope. Nada.

 

I actually have more energy for him than I did for numbers 3 and 4, because my older kids have grown and are basically out of the house. So instead of dealing with multiple kids and an infant or toddler, I'm down to two boys who are not high maintenance. I actually find time to relax and do some of the things I used to like to do. I wouldn't have chosen a fifth, but I don't really have any regrets other than the horrible birth experience he put me through.

[southcarolinamom]

We-ellll, my husband and I started "trying" to have children when I was 27. Four miscarriages and 2 laparoscpoic surgeries later, I thought we were destined to adopt. The month we had our adoption home study was the month I got pregnant with my son. :001_smile: He was born when I was 32.

 

Fast forward to another miscarriage a few months later, and I thought for sure God meant for us to have just one child. However, my dd was born almost exactly 2 years after my son was born -- the day before I turned 34. No more babies after that, although we would have loved more.

 

Having them both in my early 30's was nice. I don't regret the first 9 years my husband and I had without children. We were more financially and emotionally ready by the time they were born.

[AHASRADA]

I had my kids at 23, 26 and 37! I never intended to have kids past 35, never intended to have any more kids after my first two. I am not a great baby person, never wanted to suffer through sleepless nights and terrible 2s again, and was thrilled to be past that season of my life. I was happy being a young mom, knowing I would have the rest of my life ahead of me to do what I wanted once they were grown.

 

Then, all of a sudden, I could count the number of years before me kids go to college on one hand. I realized this parenting gig was almost up, and I wasn't ready for it to be over. Also, two kids seemed ideal while raising them, but thinking of them as adults, I didn't want them each to only have one sibling. It just seemed like too small of an extended family, if that makes any sense.

 

So, we bit the bullet and had our wonderful little caboose dd. She has been a huge blessing, bringing joy and giggles back into our home. It is also much easier this time around, since I have the perspective to know that the baby and toddler stages will be gone in the blink of an eye. My big kids are also an enormous help; there is always someone else around to watch her if I need to take a shower, cook dinner, go food shopping, etc.

 

I don't think too much about how old I will be when she graduates, etc. I am just thrilled to have the chance to raise another child with the benefit of my years of experience (AKA trial and error on the other kids!)