KrissiK Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Help! Our 15 mo. old dd has consistently not slept through the night since we got her at 10 mo. old. Here is what we've tried, nothing has worked. 1. Give her a bottle when she wakes up. - she's not really hungry,so she nibbles, then fusses. 2. CIO- she's cried for up to 3 hours. 3. CIO but rub her back and console her every 15 minutes. See #2. 4. Adjust her nap so she's getting only 1 nap a day. She's falling asleep in my arms by 10:00am. She still wakes up at 2:30-3:00am. 5. Put her to bed later (she has a 7:30 bedtime). Didn't affect her. 6. Bring her in bed with me. She just wanted to play. When I tried to make her lay down she threw a fit. She's generally a very cheerful child, happy, no physical problems, etc. We are exhausted and at our wit's end. Any suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I don't have any helpful advice but I'm in the same boat with my 20 month old. We co-sleep because she climbs out of the crib & playpen and has since she was 9 months old.... we don't have a bedroom where it would be safe for her to escape from the crib, so she is with me all the time and it is exhausting. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Not a fan of sheer CIO, but if you rub her back and stay with her, that seems ok with me. You said she cried for 3 hours. How many nights did you try with her? I've never had someone tell me that it worked in one or two nights--it seems like it works by the end of the week or two weeks, even, and that's a long time for some folks to bear. But, once it's over, it's over. Sorry, no advice here. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 We tried the CIO method once. I couldn't take her crying that long. We've done th CIO,but consoling her quite a bit. Some nights it's worked and she'll cry about 5 more minutes and then fall back to sleep. last night was a bad night. We tried it all, and have come to the conclusion that she just wants to be up. One night she was just tantrumming at 2:30am. The only thing she wanted was to be up, out of the crib and playing. I've tried putting toys in her crib so she could play quietly by herself when she wakes up - she wouldn't have it. I'm thinking she may be transitioning into not needing so much sleep, but how can we get her to not sleep so much on the day time? It seems like she's subtracting her sleep hours from night Andy not fromnaptime. Sometimes I wonder if her previous foster homes never had her on any type of normal day/night schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Do you all get outdoor exercise? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 My husband and his family swears by rocking kids to sleep. They usually put the child/baby on the baby's back on a pillow, in their (adult's) lap, while gently rocking and making soothing sounds. It works really well for them and not too badly when I do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 None of my 4 kids slept through the night until around their 2nd birthday. Stats show that 50% of 1 year olds wake up at least once per night. You little one is totally normal. I would not do any type of CIO if she is adopted, that can just damage her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lluv Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 (edited) I tried CIO once with DS1 and although he fell asleep after 1 hr of screaming, I couldn't handle doing it again. I started researching options other than the Ferber method and stumbled on http://babywhispererforums.com. The forum is based on the book/methods of Tracey Hogg. I fell in love with her philosophy and def. recommend the book. It's not for everyone, but it was very helpful to me and after implementing a few changes DS1 was sleeping from 8-8. Does you DD get up around the same time every night? DS1 did, and like your DD, he wasn't hungry or needing to be changed. On BW, one suggestion was to go in right before they normally wake up and gently stir/nudge them, to "reset" their sleep cycle. I thought it was crazy, but you know what? It worked that first night and he slept through until morning. I think I only had to do it one more time after that. Anyway, that particular method might not work, but they do have a lot of other suggestions and the moms are always willing to help. (But fyi, the board is totally against CIO). I just read that your DD has more than one nap? Mine transitioned to 1 nap around 1 yr. They would wake up at 8, nap 2/3 hours (usually from 1-3), bedtime at 8ish. BW also has suggestions for transitioning from 2 naps to 1 gradually. Thankfully, DS2 has always been a good sleeper, but I still remember the sleepless nights with DS1. Good Luck! Edited January 4, 2012 by lluv Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I would not do any type of CIO if she is adopted That caught my attention too. If she's only been with you for 5 months, I would think promoting healthy attachment is the most important thing. I wouldn't recommend CIO at all, in any form. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 That caught my attention too. If she's only been with you for 5 months, I would think promoting healthy attachment is the most important thing. I wouldn't recommend CIO at all, in any form. We don't want to do that method (we did it with our other children, but they only cried about 5-10 minutes for a couple of nights and then they were sleeping through the night), but short of a) getting up with her at 2:30am and letting her play for a couple of hours or b) letting her get up and run around while we sleep, I'm just not sure what else to do. I will try the forum that was suggested. I will also try some more outdoor time, though it is so hard for me to get outside in the winter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 My newborns used to be up a lot at 2:00 for their first month or so. It took time to adjust to being out of the womb. I've also had this problem when I travel. Maybe try to get a lot of sun (even through the window) and exercise, sort of like jet lag? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Get the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers by Elizabeth Pantley. Please don't do CIO, especially with an adopted baby you've only had for several months, and especially for hours on end. :( I know it's exhausting (believe me, I know, my son was a horrible sleeper from the day he was born and at 15 months he was still waking up multiple times per night. I actually got a cake that said "Ben Slept Through The Night!" the first time it ever happened and threw an impromptu pizza party), but it doesn't last forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Its pretty common for babies that age to wake in the middle of the night and just want to get up. My oldest did it, and my twins are starting to do it now. It's exhausting, but I usually just end up getting them up and dozing on the couch in my babyproofed living room for an hour or so, then putting them back to bed. DW and I take turns so we can each get a good night's sleep every other night at least. DD outgrew it eventually, and I'm sure the boys will too. I don't really have a better solution, unfortunately, unless rocking works better for her than my boys. CIO is not an option for us. My eldest started mostly sttn at age 2.5. With the twins I'm just mostly glad that they don't usually get me up more than once or twice a night. I'll take one hour-long night waking over 8 or 10 short ones anytime! Also, I second outdoor time. Every day. It helps a lot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 teething? Have you tried motrin? Tried offering a snack or food? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 teething? Have you tried motrin? Tried offering a snack or food? She was teething for a while, but she's done with that for now. We did give her Motrin and that sort of helped. She's outside now with the older kids, so I'm hoping that some sunshine will help her out a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRG Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 My 15 (almost 16) month old may sleep thru the night one night a week. Sometimes we can get him back to sleep within a couple of minutes but sometimes he just wants to be up. Last night was one of those nights. I just get him up and snuggle up in the recliner and watch TV. Usually within the hour he is back to sleep and I can put him back to bed. I can't let him CIO. I hope you find a solution that works and everyone is sleeping soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 We don't want to do that method (we did it with our other children, but they only cried about 5-10 minutes for a couple of nights and then they were sleeping through the night), but short of a) getting up with her at 2:30am and letting her play for a couple of hours or b) letting her get up and run around while we sleep, I'm just not sure what else to do. I will try the forum that was suggested. I will also try some more outdoor time, though it is so hard for me to get outside in the winter. I should stop posting, because I mostly only have time when I'm nursing and then it's so hard to type one-handed that I'm too brief! I just wanted to add that I know how hard it is. My 13 month old is an awful sleeper and always has been. He doesn't get up in the middle of the night, he just cosleeps and wakes me every hour or two all night long. He's had a few episodes where he did wake up more in the middle of the night and I just play dead. Our room is babyproofed and I ignore him so that he won't be rewarded by attention and fun. If he had an actual need, like a dirty diaper or he was hungry, I would take care of it without turning on lights, talking softly, and keeping things as low-key as possible so he'd still understand it's night. What happens when she wakes up? If she's in the same room, can you offer her a drink and then repeat that it's night time, go to sleep, a few times and just let her play in her crib or wherever there's a safe place and tune her out? Or does she just cry? I wish I had some good advice, sleep issues are hard. I think it's something we just have to ride out sometimes until they get a little older. I second reading The No Cry Sleep Solution to see if anything in there would help, and also try Sleepless in America by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I'll take one hour-long night waking over 8 or 10 short ones anytime! Totally agree! Trade? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhotoGal Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I would cosleep from the beginning of the night. Then if she starts to stir, you can put a hand on her right away (before she fully wakes up). The sooner you can sooth her back to sleep, the less likely you will have a 2am play session. :) I know it is really hard. My oldest was the worst sleeper. It was a whole production just to get him to sleep in the first place and then he would wake up all the time. It is all a distant memory now. Someday it will be for you as well (hang in there!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Get the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers by Elizabeth Pantley. Please don't do CIO, especially with an adopted baby you've only had for several months, and especially for hours on end. :( I know it's exhausting (believe me, I know, my son was a horrible sleeper from the day he was born and at 15 months he was still waking up multiple times per night. I actually got a cake that said "Ben Slept Through The Night!" the first time it ever happened and threw an impromptu pizza party), but it doesn't last forever. :iagree::iagree::iagree: I am a HUGE fan of No Cry Sleep Solution. It really, really works for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) How much sleep are you expecting? I have friends whose babies slept 12 hours a night, plus naps. Mine, not so much! My oldest didn't sleep for 5 hours straight a single time until she was 10 months old - and then it was just the once, not a new routine. Some kids are just going to sleep less, sleep lightly, wake more often, or all of the above. It's brutal, but sometimes you just have to drink lots of coffee and wait it out. In your case, 5 months is a pretty short time, and she may still be adjusting (possibly in addition to being a light sleeper). Will she stay in your bed and play if you don't make her lie down? Can dh reprieve you sometimes? Grandparents? Very good friends? I know my dh was perfectly willing to get up with the baby, but he never heard her until I was wide awake. So, sometimes when he didn't have to work the next day, he'd stay in the back with her, and I'd sleep at the very front of the house and take a hefty dose of Nyquil to boot (otherwise I would still hear her and wake up). Lots of outdoor time benefits sleep, but if that isn't going to happen, it might be worth trying one of those natural light lamps meant for people with seasonal affective disorder (aka winter depresses me, lol). Keep the house bright and busy during the day, have her near the light as often as possible, then go dark and quiet at night. Also consider indoor play equipment if you don't have any (jump houses, ball pits, trampolines). Those weren't as readily available when mine were small, but I improvised by pulling up the rugs and letting them ride push cars and scooters in the house. What's a floor compared to a potential five minutes of extra sleep? Edited January 5, 2012 by katilac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyeska Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 When we adopted our son, he was 2 years and 8 months old. He didn't sleep through the night for many, many months. He was up every 45 minutes checking to see if we were still there. It was simply exhausting. Your baby is exhibiting (what I consider) typical behavior for an adopted child AND a young toddler combined. Unfortunately, you will be tired. But the little one will eventually sleep through the night. Try and take a 30 minute nap during the day if you can, or when your dh gets home from work. Like a few others have said, using CIO with an adopted child is not a solution. That will very likely cause future issues with attachment. Have you thought about putting a portable crib next to your bed? Then you could rub her back when she wakes and let her know you are still there. You will have the rest of your life to sleep...right now, bonding and attachment are number one. Also, maybe she would play in the portable crib when she wakes and would eventually sleep better... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Help! Our 15 mo. old dd has consistently not slept through the night since we got her at 10 mo. old. Here is what we've tried, nothing has worked.1. Give her a bottle when she wakes up. - she's not really hungry,so she nibbles, then fusses. 2. CIO- she's cried for up to 3 hours. 3. CIO but rub her back and console her every 15 minutes. See #2. 4. Adjust her nap so she's getting only 1 nap a day. She's falling asleep in my arms by 10:00am. She still wakes up at 2:30-3:00am. 5. Put her to bed later (she has a 7:30 bedtime). Didn't affect her. 6. Bring her in bed with me. She just wanted to play. When I tried to make her lay down she threw a fit. She's generally a very cheerful child, happy, no physical problems, etc. We are exhausted and at our wit's end. Any suggestions? Today try limiting her naps. I would let her morning nap be no more than 1.5 hours and the afternoon nap cut off at 1 hour. Push bedtime to 8:00 or 8:30. In several sleep books I've read, by reducing the amount of nap time you can reduce the wake up and play in the middle of the night. I think 12 hours of sleep total is normal at that age, so 2.5 hours of nap and 9.5 hours at night would be enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Dd 2 has always been a terrible sleeper. She had gotten to the point where she would wake up, I would hold her for a few minutes, and then she would go back to sleep. Now when she gets up, she wants to be up for hours. Like others have suggested, I combined her naps into one, and I kept her up later in the evening. I figured I would rather be up with her until 10 than from 2-4am. At first, it didnt seem to be working, then she would sleep for a night here or there. After a little over a month she just slept through the night for 3 nights straight. There's no guarantee about tonight, but it's so much better than it was. Our schedule is a nap from 1-4 in the afternoon and then bedtime at 9-9:30. I did try lessening the nap and making bedtime earlier, but for some reason she was a bear after her nap if I did that, hence the longer nap and later bedtime. The other thing that was hard for me but helped was going to bed shortly after she did. Get rest while you can if you know you will be up later. I'm a night owl and an introvert so it was hard for me to go to bed that early and give up my alone time in the evening, but I felt better. :grouphug::grouphug: I hope you will find a schedule that will work for your dd. so many moms have been there, you are not alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 Well, fwiw, she slept through the night last night. Don't know if it was a) that she had a shorter nap yesterday, b) that she spent time outside c) that she got to bed 1.5 hours later due to the fact that we were out last night or d) the planets were aligned. And dh and I were prepared with our great plan to implement every bit of advice I received yesterday. Well, we'll see what happens tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Well, fwiw, she slept through the night last night. Don't know if it was a) that she had a shorter nap yesterday, b) that she spent time outside c) that she got to bed 1.5 hours later due to the fact that we were out last night or d) the planets were aligned. And dh and I were prepared with our great plan to implement every bit of advice I received yesterday. Well, we'll see what happens tonight. How long does she typically nap and how long are you expecting her to sleep at night? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 How long does she typically nap and how long are you expecting her to sleep at night? Well, if she slept 10-12 hrs at night and took a couple hour nap during the day, I would think that to be normal. At least it was for my other kids, an d it seems to be what my friends' kids do, basically. Before we started to fiddle with her nap time she would sleep 3-4 hours during the day in 2 segments. Now I'm trying to get her to take only one nap a day, though she would clearly love to still have two. Yesterday she slept 2.5 hrs. during the day in one nap at mid-day. Generally, my napping philosophy is to let the kid sleep as long as she wants. The one caveat is that I will wake them up at 4:00 if it goes up to there so it doesn't start getting too close to bedtime. But, I'm thinking that I may have to start waking Baby after a couple hour nap and see if she can adjust herself to get her rest at night and not during the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Well, if she slept 10-12 hrs at night and took a couple hour nap during the day, I would think that to be normal. At least it was for my other kids, an d it seems to be what my friends' kids do, basically. Before we started to fiddle with her nap time she would sleep 3-4 hours during the day in 2 segments. Now I'm trying to get her to take only one nap a day, though she would clearly love to still have two. Yesterday she slept 2.5 hrs. during the day in one nap at mid-day. Generally, my napping philosophy is to let the kid sleep as long as she wants. The one caveat is that I will wake them up at 4:00 if it goes up to there so it doesn't start getting too close to bedtime. But, I'm thinking that I may have to start waking Baby after a couple hour nap and see if she can adjust herself to get her rest at night and not during the day. I recall one book saying that a sleep mistake many parents made was excepting too much sleep. So if you DD was sleeping 11 hours at night and napping 4 hours a day, that would be 15 hours in bed. That is a lot! Average for that age is 12-13 hours for both naps and night. She may even need less. I would shorten naps to 2-2.5 hours total (either in one or two naps) and put her to bed so that she would get 10 hours total. When my last little guy was napping still, his bed time was 9:30, wake time 7:30 and he napped from 1-3. Now that he has dropped the nap, he sleeps from 8-8. ETA: wanted to add that I had to wake my last two children up from their naps everyday or suffer long wake periods at night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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