Rant about hospitals and waiting rooms...

[higginszoo]

We have done a lot of stints in the hospital, surgeries, ER, etc.

 

I think that one thing here is that this was NOT an emergency (meaning they knew well in advance the day/time) and this was not an on-going thing---family member hospitalized for days/weeks, etc. These outpatient surgery centers are like doctor's offices where they do scheduled more minor surgeries and the person goes home just a few hours later. The stay is general no more than 4-6 hours total--sometimes more, sometimes less.

 

In this case, I think that at least having someone bring the toddler home would have been the best thing all around.

 

It can be different when it is an emergency or a long term thing where family comes to visit often, etc.

 

I have been there when we needed stitches for a 4 year old and I no sitter so I had my other 4 year old and a 3 year old in the room while the one got stitches. Not ideal but I didn't have time to schedule the stitches for a day when I could get a sitter.

 

I have also been in ER with 2 4 year olds, a 3 year old and a baby------again, not ideal but I was bringing grandma up to the hospital to see grandpa (just a quick stay for the kids and I) when she started having chest pains and ended up in ER for heart attack evaluation. As soon as we could though we got me and the kids out of there.

 

I just see a planned couple hour long out patient surgery as vastly different than an emergency or even long term stay thing.

:iagree:

[Soror]

There are also some cultures in which being there is highly valued, and others where being "independent" is object number one.

 

Those people who travel in big packs to the hospital, also travel in big packs to the airport, and show up in big packs at funerals. They are tireless in their love for their family members.

 

I know, because I married into such a family. And I love them dearly for their concern.

 

Many religions encourage people to visit the sick. I recently visited a friend's mother at a nursing home, and let me tell you, while everyone appeared clean and taken care of, they looked incredibly bored and lonely, to the point that we were literally chased down the halls by people, or they extended their hands to us to come talk to them. This does not strike me as a very healthy lifestyle.

 

Traditionally, hospitals in this country focus on the disease rather than the patient, and forget that that person has a life and loved ones. Hospitals need to be more accomodating to family members and their needs, providing more space and food for them, and so on. Having their family near them often improves health outcomes.

 

So I say -- tell hospitals to build bigger and better waiting rooms, don't blame relatives for caring.

 

:iagree: I think is the problem of the hospital and just ill behaved children in general.

 

I was with my 4 wk old when dh's father had to have brain surgery and they didn't know if he would live. I slept with her on the chairs and nursed her in the waiting room. We were the only ones in the waiting room in the middle of the night. She was in my arms the whole time.

 

Dh had a *simple* outpatient surgery that ended up taking several hrs longer. I was lucky then as I had a friend close by and my son and daughter were a bit older.

 

Dh's g-ma has been in the hospital 2 weeks now, first week in the ICU. We brought the kids up some and they sit in the waiting room while we took turns visiting. If that makes me a horrible person in someone's eyes, so be it. They were not rowdy. We were there a reasonable time.

[G5052]

Some families have a tradition of dragging everyone along for every medical procedure. Yes, there's risk of infection and little kids aren't made to sit, but that's what they do as a family.

 

Some patients want that so their direct family has people with them. Outpatient or not, you never really know. I've sat alone in an outpatient waiting room when they popped out to tell me that things had gone way, way wrong and that they'd keep me posted. That's a horrible feeling, being alone. Another time it was a surgery that was supposed to be 4 hours and it was almost 12. Everyone else was gone, including the receptionist, and I sat alone until almost midnight worrying.

 

The only time we've ever done a drop-off was when the kids and I were up all night with 100+ degree fevers and the the family member had to be there at 5:30 am. We dropped them off and went home to bed. You need someone there that is familiar with medical history, period.

 

And mostly I get someone to take the kids, but sometimes it just doesn't work out.

[Dana]

The places I've been for outpatient procedures don't allow drop offs. The person driving has to stay the whole time.

 

I was the driver for a friend who had her gallbladder removed & even though the clinic is only a mile away from our house, I was told I needed to stay the whole time.

 

I also would really prefer no food in waiting areas.

[unsinkable]

I read a blog post where a mom wanted to drop her kid for outpatient surgery and then do a Starbucks run. She was shocked when the nurse had her sign a form that stated she agreed she would not leave the hospital. Must be some pretty good coffee at Starbucks...

[Retired]

:001_huh: You don't think some of it could have been that they have a large, close family? That maybe they're there for each other through the big and small stuff? That maybe they never thought they were being judged for being there for their loved ones when someone is sick, hurt, or having surgery? I honestly never thought this is something others would judge and look down on.

 

sorry I just work in the south and their is a culture of distress of health care workers from our rural communities and the waiting room becomes a family reunion. I guess as other posted its the culture.

 

I am not talking having spouse, parent and your children. I am talking its crazy they have a couple of ex wives and all types of folks. It is just nuts.

 

not intending to sound judgmental or anything its just hard to explain to folks that don't work heallthcare the more family members tend to actually interfere with patient care

 

when I worked ICU their was always one family that took over that expected us to cater to them

 

anyway I am out of this thread, I worked the past 2, 12 hour shifts. They were really crazy. I didn't get a break not even for lunch I ate a protein bar between a gunshot victim ( 13yo shot his grandmother in the face )and a MVA(drinking and driving)

I barely get to use the restroom.

 

I don't have time to answer questions from 30 different family member.

[unsinkable]

sorry I just work in the south and their is a culture of distress of health care workers from our rural communities and the waiting room becomes a family reunion. I guess as other posted its the culture.

 

I am not talking having spouse, parent and your children. I am talking its crazy they have a couple of ex wives and all types of folks. It is just nuts.

 

not intending to sound judgmental or anything its just hard to explain to folks that don't work heallthcare the more family members tend to actually interfere with patient care

 

when I worked ICU their was always one family that took over that expected us to cater to them

 

anyway I am out of this thread, I worked the past 2, 12 hour shifts. They were really crazy. I didn't get a break not even for lunch I ate a protein bar between a gunshot victim ( 13yo shot his grandmother in the face )and a MVA(drinking and driving)

I barely get to use the restroom.

 

I don't have time to answer questions from 30 different family member.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Murphy101]

I don't understand the whole answering questions from 30 different family members thing?:confused:

 

Thanks to that idiot bill HIPPA, my own dh can barely get any info unless I specificly okay for them to give it to him.

 

Not once since that law has staff given info in the waiting room to anyone because EVERYONE can overhear, which violates HIPPA. Heck. They don't even use patient names at the last place I was at. When they went out to speak to husband, they ask for him by name, not "those here for Martha X", and took him aside to speak to him. My midwife was told to stay in the waiting room as they were speaking my next of kin only. NO ONE else was told squat. If they were not in my room or with dh - too bad for them. Because they didn't have my okay to speak to those people about my care.

 

My mil couldn't even find out what room I was in without my okay or dh telling her.

 

So I'm not understanding the whole having to explain everything to everyone, bc IME, everyone outside of one or two people are told the party line of, "We cannot discuss patient information with those who are not approved by the patient or are immediate next of kin."

[lcelmer]

He won't talk to families who have squirming, screaming kids.

 

Is your Hubby a Dr? If so that is a horrible attitude to take. Not everyone can always get a person to watch kids easily or even in a true emergency.

 

I have a 3year old... If my husband was in a horrible car crash today, I might just have to bring him along, since my family is often either busy or out of town. It might not even be possible to get hold of anyone at the time.

 

If we are only talking about scheduled events, sometimes sitters cancel last minute, and none else is available. Not everyone has a network of friends who are available, not every one has a babysitter. Even people whose kids are noisy don't always have a choice to leave them elsewhere.

[mommaduck]

Is your Hubby a Dr? If so that is a horrible attitude to take. Not everyone can always get a person to watch kids easily or even in a true emergency.

 

I have a 3year old... If my husband was in a horrible car crash today, I might just have to bring him along, since my family is often either busy or out of town. It might not even be possible to get hold of anyone at the time.

 

If we are only talking about scheduled events, sometimes sitters cancel last minute, and none else is available. Not everyone has a network of friends who are available, not every one has a babysitter. Even people whose kids are noisy don't always have a choice to leave them elsewhere.

:iagree:

[scubamama]

We don't tell "everyone" all the details about a patient.

 

Yes, we do get ?'s from 30 family members, etc.

 

People think that the ICU NO Visitors sign simply doesn't apply to them.

 

They come right on in....elbow the Dr's out of the way and proceed to ask all and sundry.

 

2 favorite memories come to mind: We're coding someone...it's chaos...a woman walks in to the ICU and in to the code - taps the Dr on the shoulder and says, "I'm so and so's neighbor...I know she's in here. What's her situation?"

 

Later she came back to get her parking ticket validated. :lol:

 

I'm working a 16 hour shift - I finally make it to the restroom in the tiny locker area for staff (in the back of the ICU). A family member has the nerve to yell

at me thru the stall door that I should be out there caring for her loved one and also...wait for it...I needed to make more coffee for the waiting room.

 

!!!!!!!!!

 

Not to mention the time I had to call security to have a lesbian couple removed from the ICU waiting room. They were in a state of undress and actively having sex. IN front of the other large groups of people hanging out in the waiting room. They ignored me when I told them they couldn't do that here! NOte that I didn't tell them to leave, I asked them to not have sex in public. As soon as they left "to go call their lawyer b/c GLBT people have rights!!!!" the other people grabbed the 2 chairs they'd pushed together to "enjoy themselves on" and sat on them....ick.

 

So, there's plenty more where that came from - toddlers fishing around in the biohazard trash, infants crawling on the floor, kids racing around the ER and wreaking havoc....

 

I could go on. I support folks coming in to visit, but not disrupting the actual function of the staff.

 

Sigh.

 

Michele

[mommaduck]

So, there's plenty more where that came from - toddlers fishing around in the biohazard trash, infants crawling on the floor, kids racing around the ER and wreaking havoc....

 

 

I have several RN's and MD's in the family. My children SIT in the waiting room. The baby is always held. Hands are always washed, and the floor/trash bins are all off limits. I've even put candy wrappers in my purse. Hospital floors are NASTY! My MIL has her shoes tied a certain way she she never has to touch her shoes to get them on and off even.

[happyhomemaker25]

We don't tell "everyone" all the details about a patient.

 

Yes, we do get ?'s from 30 family members, etc.

 

People think that the ICU NO Visitors sign simply doesn't apply to them.

 

They come right on in....elbow the Dr's out of the way and proceed to ask all and sundry.

 

2 favorite memories come to mind: We're coding someone...it's chaos...a woman walks in to the ICU and in to the code - taps the Dr on the shoulder and says, "I'm so and so's neighbor...I know she's in here. What's her situation?"

 

Later she came back to get her parking ticket validated. :lol:

 

I'm working a 16 hour shift - I finally make it to the restroom in the tiny locker area for staff (in the back of the ICU). A family member has the nerve to yell

at me thru the stall door that I should be out there caring for her loved one and also...wait for it...I needed to make more coffee for the waiting room.

 

!!!!!!!!!

 

Not to mention the time I had to call security to have a lesbian couple removed from the ICU waiting room. They were in a state of undress and actively having sex. IN front of the other large groups of people hanging out in the waiting room. They ignored me when I told them they couldn't do that here! NOte that I didn't tell them to leave, I asked them to not have sex in public. As soon as they left "to go call their lawyer b/c GLBT people have rights!!!!" the other people grabbed the 2 chairs they'd pushed together to "enjoy themselves on" and sat on them....ick.

 

So, there's plenty more where that came from - toddlers fishing around in the biohazard trash, infants crawling on the floor, kids racing around the ER and wreaking havoc....

 

I could go on. I support folks coming in to visit, but not disrupting the actual function of the staff.

 

Sigh.

 

Michele

 

I. Can. Not. Imagine. Good night!

I try to be very respectful of all the staff. I even try to warn them about my crazy aunt who thinks she's a nurse and will give them what for if she does not like what they are doing. I'm always very apologetic and respectful. I hope that helps them some because my aunt is very annoying, even to me.

Really it stresses me out more having my kids with me the only time I've had them, because I am one of those people who worry constantly about other peoples comfort.

Our hospital has a pin number they give the immediate family. You have to have that number to get info. Each nurse change I introduce myself and if one of my aunts are there I introduce them and their relationship to my mom. The nurses' always seem grateful to know who everyone in the room is. Of course maybe they are being polite! LOL

[Jennifer3141]

Is your Hubby a Dr? If so that is a horrible attitude to take. Not everyone can always get a person to watch kids easily or even in a true emergency.

 

He is. And if you're under his care, 9 out of 10 times you should not have a child in the room due to the risk of infection. He also sees on average of 15 very complex patients a day. If you can't hear him or he cannot hear you because you've got a screaming kid in the room then he moves on to the next patient. He might go back if he has time but he might run out of time. He's not going to stand there and waste time with you because you might be taking him from someone whose life he could save.

[kalanamak]

 

I don't have time to answer questions from 30 different family member.

 

When it becomes clear a family is limiting care for their loved one with their neediness, I am not afraid to tell them to name a contact person, or at most 2, because having to go over and over this is taking me away from the care of the patient. Divorced parents sometimes bring a long standing feud to the bedside, and it is the staff's duty to make sure the patient is getting the care, not the dysfunctional family.

 

This is why I always befriend my saviors, the social workers. :001_smile:

[kalanamak]

Is your Hubby a Dr? If so that is a horrible attitude to take. Not everyone can always get a person to watch kids easily or even in a true emergency.

 

 

At this point a nurse or social worker should take over the child because you cannot get "informed consent" etc from such a distracted patient. It is not only the right thing to do, but you'd lose a lawsuit over any complication or side effect. Additionally, getting a careful and accurate history is *crucial* in many situations, and both patient and doctor need to concentrate. Medical care is too complicated these days for stupid errors. I cannot stress how "artful" the interview is. It is not just transmission of facts, but of unsaid information. Was the bow of the head when the word "husband" said mean her abdominal pain might be related to the bruising she has? It has to cross the doctor's mind, or it will be missed.

[lcelmer]

At this point a nurse or social worker should take over the child because you cannot get "informed consent" etc from such a distracted patient. It is not only the right thing to do, but you'd lose a lawsuit over any complication or side effect. Additionally, getting a careful and accurate history is *crucial* in many situations, and both patient and doctor need to concentrate. Medical care is too complicated these days for stupid errors. I cannot stress how "artful" the interview is. It is not just transmission of facts, but of unsaid information. Was the bow of the head when the word "husband" said mean her abdominal pain might be related to the bruising she has? It has to cross the doctor's mind, or it will be missed.

 

I totally agree with you there, but the original post merely said "He won't talk to families who have squirming, screaming kids." Maybe a better wording would've been he can't get true consent for major surgical procedures from a distracted parent, so he must ask a nurse to help for a minute.

[Jennifer3141]

I totally agree with you there, but the original post merely said "He won't talk to families who have squirming, screaming kids." Maybe a better wording would've been he can't get true consent for major surgical procedures from a distracted parent, so he must ask a nurse to help for a minute.

 

Uh, nope. He's not going to waste his time with people who cannot give him their full attention. Most of his patients are elderly so it rarely comes up but not only does he carry a full census every day, he's not taking the risk that you'll sue him because you didn't understand something because you're not paying attention.

 

He's happy to take care of you but we're not risking our entire financial lives because you want your kid in the room with you.

 

Most people get that. I think he's only dumped maybe 10-15 people in 8 years of practicing. But if my DH walks into your room, you've got about a 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 chance of dying so it's time to put whatever is distracting you or him completely aside. He's not going to yell over your kid. And he's not going to explain complicated drug reactions or infection issues to someone who's not paying attention. Because the patient one room over WILL pay attention and he or she wants to live too.

[beaners]

Uh, nope. He's not going to waste his time with people who cannot give him their full attention. Most of his patients are elderly so it rarely comes up but not only does he carry a full census every day, he's not taking the risk that you'll sue him because you didn't understand something because you're not paying attention.

 

He's happy to take care of you but we're not risking our entire financial lives because you want your kid in the room with you.

 

Most people get that. I think he's only dumped maybe 10-15 people in 8 years of practicing. But if my DH walks into your room, you've got about a 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 chance of dying so it's time to put whatever is distracting you or him completely aside. He's not going to yell over your kid. And he's not going to explain complicated drug reactions or infection issues to someone who's not paying attention. Because the patient one room over WILL pay attention and he or she wants to live too.

 

I'm asking this merely out of curiosity, but how many of those elderly patients are able to understand those complex reactions? Do the majority of them have an advocate with them? I ask because my grandfather passed away last year, and while he was generally very sharp until the week before his death, his complicated medical requirements were too much. He was still running two businesses, but he needed someone to go with him to his appointments. He could have been devoting his full attention, but still been unable to follow or relay the information.

 

So do most of those patients have an advocate to assist them? I can't imagine most elderly people I know retaining this information, and it seems unfortunate that they would be dismissed as uninterested in living because of that.

[Jennifer3141]

I'm asking this merely out of curiosity, but how many of those elderly patients are able to understand those complex reactions? Do the majority of them have an advocate with them? I ask because my grandfather passed away last year, and while he was generally very sharp until the week before his death, his complicated medical requirements were too much. He was still running two businesses, but he needed someone to go with him to his appointments. He could have been devoting his full attention, but still been unable to follow or relay the information.

 

So do most of those patients have an advocate to assist them? I can't imagine most elderly people I know retaining this information, and it seems unfortunate that they would be dismissed as uninterested in living because of that.

 

For the patients my DH sees, yes. They must have an advocate if they are not mentally competent. Our practice utilizes social workers quite a bit who evaluate patients DH diagnoses with mental issues, often even if they have actively involved family.

 

We discovered a long time ago that an active network of co-care providers is more expensive to us in the short term but better in the way long term because there's an active network to help DH with after hours calls about what brand of oatmeal Dad should eat and after hospital care issues and malpractice, etc. etc. DH works with NPs, SWs, and a PA so that he can move on and do the complicated medical stuff.

 

For patients that are just mentally gone and vegetative and if no one is left who cares, they are assigned an advocate by the hospital and the level of treatment is evaluated by a medical ethics panel if anyone has an issue with care. And that happens way too much in our society. :(

 

The majority of my DH's patients are post-operative cardiothoracic patients who have been through major chest cavity surgery and are having post-operative complications with their diabetes or blood clots or infections. In order for patients to get surgery like that, they have been pre-screened by the cardiothoracic surgeons and their health insurance companies. So there's a layer of protection before they even get to the hospital for my DH. But he does see other patients who are just in the hospital for other issues. But percentage wise, he does the former far more.

Edited December 18, 2011 by Jennifer3141