Jennifer in MI Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Tonight after a ball game, my ds Sam was playing on the playground with a bunch of kids. He noticed that this one kid, J, had taken the shoes of a little girl (the girl was 7) and he was teasing her with them. J was climbing up the slide (the girl was at the top) and then sliding away from her. The girl was visibly upset. Sam grabbed the boy's feet and pulled him down the slide, took the shoes and handed them back to the girl. Sam started walking away. This boy started pushing, kicking and yelling at Sam. Sam grabbed his arm as he went to hit him. Then, as Sam let go, he tried to walk away, this boy pushed him and, as Sam lost his balance, J punched Sam in the face!!!!!! Sam told my dh and there was another dad there who went over to J and started yelling,"What's your name? Are your parents here?" (they weren't) Then he yelled at the kid to go home. J then went on to accuse Sam of trying to break his arm!!!! But, he did leave. So, now, do I contact J's parents?? If I were his mom, I think I'd want to know. I have the feeling that this boy will only tell his parents that my kid grabbed him first!! I also want to explain that the adult who yelled at their kid was NOT my dh. I'm just not sure how this should be handled. I mean, Sam did grab this kid first (by the feet and pulled him down the slide). But, then this kid went all crazy on him!!! Yes, Sam did then grab his arm, but only as this kid went to hit him! I did write to the mother of the little girl because she has all the Little League contact information. So, I'll see what she says. What do you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I hate to say it, but I think your son started it all by grabbing the boy down the slide. NO, he didn't deserve to be shoved and punched, but if a pre-teen is going to harass a small child, it stands to reason they won't have second thoughts about battering a peer. It's most definitely not right that J did the things he did to the little girl and it's not right that he went ape on Sam, but had Sam contacted an adult in authority to handle it and not pulled the boy down the slide, it most likely wouldn't have escalated to the degree it did. I'm sorry. I'm not saying all this against your son. I think it's wonderful that he wanted to help the little girl, but I do think he should have handled it differently. I hope his face is ok!:grouphug: I'd not contact J's parents. See if they contact you. I'm willing to bet their little darling won't say a word to them about it. If they have a mustard's seed worth of insight to their kid, they're going to know no one just ran up and tried to "break his arm" while he innocently stood by, and he's going to know that, too. If they contact you, calmly explain what happened and concede that Sam shouldn't have touched their son at all, but witness all saw what happened and J was harassing a small child and did come after Sam. However, I'm willing to bet nothing more comes of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 This is a great opportunity to teach your son about using words to solve problems over violence and understanding the consequences of his actions. I would talk to my son about trying to talk through the problem first. He could have asked the boy to return the shoes. Then if he did not return the shoes, get an adult to help. That sort of violence should only be used in self defense. (if this is how you feel). I would also tell him that his heart was in the right place wanting to help the girl and commend him for that. It is not everyday a boy wants to rescue a damsel in distress. Good for him! BUT, immediate violence is not the way to solve things (as I am sure he realizes being punched in the face - ouch!) As for the other boy, I would just let it go unless you hear from the parents. I would also advise my son to stay clear of this boy in the future and what to do it this boy tries to retaliate at a later date. I hope he feels better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Tonight after a ball game, my ds Sam was playing on the playground with a bunch of kids. He noticed that this one kid, J, had taken the shoes of a little girl (the girl was 7) and he was teasing her with them. J was climbing up the slide (the girl was at the top) and then sliding away from her. The girl was visibly upset. Sam grabbed the boy's feet and pulled him down the slide, took the shoes and handed them back to the girl. Sam started walking away. This boy started pushing, kicking and yelling at Sam. Sam grabbed his arm as he went to hit him. Then, as Sam let go, he tried to walk away, this boy pushed him and, as Sam lost his balance, J punched Sam in the face!!!!!! Sam told my dh and there was another dad there who went over to J and started yelling,"What's your name? Are your parents here?" (they weren't) Then he yelled at the kid to go home. J then went on to accuse Sam of trying to break his arm!!!! But, he did leave. So, now, do I contact J's parents?? If I were his mom, I think I'd want to know. I have the feeling that this boy will only tell his parents that my kid grabbed him first!! I also want to explain that the adult who yelled at their kid was NOT my dh. I'm just not sure how this should be handled. I mean, Sam did grab this kid first (by the feet and pulled him down the slide). But, then this kid went all crazy on him!!! Yes, Sam did then grab his arm, but only as this kid went to hit him! I did write to the mother of the little girl because she has all the Little League contact information. So, I'll see what she says. What do you think? I guess I'm a lone dissenter here, but I think your son did a good thing. I don't think grabbing the kid's ankles and pulling him down the slide was overly "violent" given the situation. Yes, he should have asked J to do the right thing first (but maybe he did ask first... you don't really say.) But I would not want a child of mine to leave a 7-yo girl stuck on the top of a slide shoeless with a 12-yo bully tormenting her while he went to find an adult to handle the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I guess I'm a lone dissenter here, but I think your son did a good thing. I don't think grabbing the kid's ankles and pulling him down the slide was overly "violent" given the situation. Yes, he should have asked J to do the right thing first (but maybe he did ask first... you don't really say.) But I would not want a child of mine to leave a 7-yo girl stuck on the top of a slide shoeless with a 12-yo bully tormenting her while he went to find an adult to handle the situation. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 That I think it's unrealistic to think a self-respecting 12 year old of either gender is always going to want to call in the Moms to handle squabbles. I would talk to him about not using physical methods at the outset - not because it was wrong but because you never know who has a little anger management problem, to say nothing of a knife. But when I was a kid, this is NOT the sort of thing I would want to run to a parent with. He's 12. He wants to be mature and stand up for justice and do it himself, and I think we have to let them sometimes, even when they make mistakes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I just want to post in full support of your son! I'm glad he met the situation with the same level of passion as the kid was bullying the little girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay in Cal Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I'm with you on this too. I would encourage your ds to use words first, but sometimes you just have to step in... of course, that means sometimes you might just get punched in the face. Doing the right thing is generally not easy. 12 years old is a great time to learn that. I don't think I'd contact the other parents. If they brought it up to me I'd not get into details of who pulled who first. I'd just say "Your son had stolen the shoes of a little girl, and my son was defending her." and leave it at that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted June 3, 2008 Author Share Posted June 3, 2008 Thank you all for your replies so far. I gotta' say, I was surprised by the first couple. I was really proud of the way he restrained himself. I did talk with him about trying to talk to the bully first in the future. (FWIW - he did hollar, "Hey - give them back!" before he grabbed the boy's feet.) I do not think that my son's actions were violent. This son is one belt away from black belt and he could've really hurt the other child. I never even thought about weapons. I'll mention that to my son. I think we may just leave well enough alone and not contact the parents. The mom of the little girl called me this morning and filled me in on his family life and it's rough. Anyway, thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Don't you think though that supporting a 12 year old taking matters into his own hands is supporting a form of vigilante justice? My sons are still young so I am curious about handling these situations. I am not trying to be a troll. If the boy was hurting the girl physically then yes her son should have defended her - but she was only being teased on physically attacked. Here is my reasoning - In the real world if someone teases you or your children, and your husband starts physically attacking this person, it seems to me you hubby would be in trouble. If someone steals your car and you start attacking this person, you will be in trouble too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay in Cal Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I'm very non-violent, and understand your desire to teach peaceful resolution. But the little girl had been attacked--her things had been stolen. Jen's son didn't "attack" the boy, he restrained him and retreived the articles in question. If you see someone have their purse stolen and dash off down the street, is it OK to try to stop them? I certainly think it is ethical/moral to do so, and that there might even be a moral imperative to try if you think you can. I don't think a bystander would be "in trouble" for doing so. If someone tried to steal your car, of course you could try to stop them. Would you just hand them the keys and wave? Now, restraining them and beating them up--yes, that would be wrong. But that's not the case here. Any touch is simply not an attack. Restraining a thief is just not the same as "attacking" them. I worry much more about doing the right thing than getting in trouble. I hope my boys will as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Don't you think though that supporting a 12 year old taking matters into his own hands is supporting a form of vigilante justice? I'm not against "vigilante" justice per se. In the real world if someone teases you or your children, and your husband starts physically attacking this person, it seems to me you hubby would be in trouble. If someone steals your car and you start attacking this person, you will be in trouble too. This fails to hold up logically. :confused: My husband is not an age peer to children. It's a different situation. And, in Texas, you can aggressively (if need be) defend your property. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted June 3, 2008 Author Share Posted June 3, 2008 Don't you think though that supporting a 12 year old taking matters into his own hands is supporting a form of vigilante justice? My sons are still young so I am curious about handling these situations. I am not trying to be a troll. If the boy was hurting the girl physically then yes her son should have defended her - but she was only being teased on physically attacked. Here is my reasoning - In the real world if someone teases you or your children, and your husband starts physically attacking this person, it seems to me you hubby would be in trouble. If someone steals your car and you start attacking this person, you will be in trouble too. Vigilante justice? No. I see it as my son trying to defend a little girl who was being teased. My ds was teased relentlessly as a younger child and he has an extremely kind heart and truly feels for those being teased. Yes, he took matters into his own hands. I think he thought that he'd just give the shoes back and that would be it. There was no violence in what he did. I don't think this issue is black and white. I don't think that fighting is never the answer. I really think that situations like this need to be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. Teaching kids what is appropriate and what is not is difficult! I think that verbally teasing that little girl could have some of the same ramifications (long term) as physically attacking her. My son has been permanently affected by the teasing he endured when he was little (and often when we were right there). I would've truly appreciated it if someone had come to his defense in this manner. Respectfully, Jennifer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deece in MN Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Don't you think though that supporting a 12 year old taking matters into his own hands is supporting a form of vigilante justice? My sons are still young so I am curious about handling these situations. I am not trying to be a troll. If the boy was hurting the girl physically then yes her son should have defended her - but she was only being teased on physically attacked. Here is my reasoning - In the real world if someone teases you or your children, and your husband starts physically attacking this person, it seems to me you hubby would be in trouble. If someone steals your car and you start attacking this person, you will be in trouble too. I think that "vigilante justice" is a bit of a stretch in this case. Yes, her ds put his hands on the other boy, but given the description of events (and not being there that is all we have to go by) I would not say her ds "attacked" the other boy. Why can't someone be defended from teasing? If someone was taking things from my child and teasing them with it, I would get the items back even if that included taking hold of the offenders arm/wrist. This is not the same as attacking someone. It saddens me that people can't stand up for themselves or someone else because of the repercussions of doing so. I am not saying I think people should go around beating up others because they look at you funny or anything, but I do think there are times that turning the other cheek doesn't work. Oh and please understand that I am all for trying to work things out by talking first and/or removing the victim from the situation if possible, but if these things don't work or are not feasible in the situation then sometimes getting physical (this doesn't mean violent physical) is called for. Anyway, Jennifer, I think your ds did a good thing and I am glad to see a kid who is not afraid to stand up for others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I guess its the southern way but my boys are taught to defend and protect the young and girls. I can't tell you how many times we would pull a kid of the slide growing up. The way kids are now. I just don't understand. I would try to explain to the parent the situation. I also wonder if the bully is learning the behavior at home. Thats been my experience. The parent may not listen. Your son did the gentlemen thing in wanting to help and protect the young girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Don't you think though that supporting a 12 year old taking matters into his own hands is supporting a form of vigilante justice? My sons are still young so I am curious about handling these situations. I am not trying to be a troll. If the boy was hurting the girl physically then yes her son should have defended her - but she was only being teased on physically attacked. She wasn't only being teased. If I understand it correctly, the boy in question took the property of a much younger child, kept it despite her being visibly upset, and continued to taunt her about the situation. This is not "teasing" as it could be construed if he'd been doing the same with a child his own age as part of a group. It would have been preferable if an adult had stepped in, but one didn't. I admire Sam for standing up for someone smaller and weaker than the bully. Could he have handled it differently? Yeah. But that's a lesson that is something that can be discussed as a family. His instincts were good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jugglin'5 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I guess I'm a lone dissenter here, but I think your son did a good thing. I don't think grabbing the kid's ankles and pulling him down the slide was overly "violent" given the situation. Yes, he should have asked J to do the right thing first (but maybe he did ask first... you don't really say.) But I would not want a child of mine to leave a 7-yo girl stuck on the top of a slide shoeless with a 12-yo bully tormenting her while he went to find an adult to handle the situation. :iagree: Don't you think though that supporting a 12 year old taking matters into his own hands is supporting a form of vigilante justice? No, is it vigilante justice for a man to stop a mugger who is beating up a woman? I personally would be very grateful to any young man who stuck up for someone being bullied. Kudos to the young man, and maybe the little bullier will learn that he can't always get away with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mo2 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I guess I'm a lone dissenter here, but I think your son did a good thing. I don't think grabbing the kid's ankles and pulling him down the slide was overly "violent" given the situation. Yes, he should have asked J to do the right thing first (but maybe he did ask first... you don't really say.) But I would not want a child of mine to leave a 7-yo girl stuck on the top of a slide shoeless with a 12-yo bully tormenting her while he went to find an adult to handle the situation. :iagree: More to the point, if my child where the little girl, and I were not around to defend her, I would hope someone else would. Your son seems to be a gentleman, which I don't think there are enough of in the world today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rfhsmom Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Your son is a breath of fresh air in a world where chivalry is dying out!!! Be proud that he was willing to defend and protect someone smaller and weaker than himself. He sounds like a wonderful young man and we need more of those in our society! You and your dh are doing something right.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie in Oh Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 He was 6 and she was 5. Boys from his soccer team were teasing her and trying to push her off the park equipment saying it was boys only. My son pushed the boy whi pushed his sister, told him to knock it off and leave his sister alone. I was proud of him. He could have joined in on the fun, but instead he defended her. Your son did a good thing-- it is what I would have done in that situation. I would have physically directed down the slide and made him return the shoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debbie in OR Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I absolutely agree that your son did the right thing. In a world where being PC is bowed to, I love that he was more concerned for this little girl than his own self. We do not teach our kids to start things, but we have told them they can defend themselves if necessary. AND, we teach our son to stick up and defend his little sister when necessary. AND we also teach them that those kids who are bullying usually have rough lives and are desperatly in need of kindness and friends. But you can do both...you can let them know, like your son did, that bullying others is not ok and still seek to offer grace and kindness in spite of their actions. I'm proud of your son and thankful there are kids like this out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaylk in tx Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I absolutely agree that your son did the right thing. In a world where being PC is bowed to, I love that he was more concerned for this little girl than his own self. We do not teach our kids to start things, but we have told them they can defend themselves if necessary. AND, we teach our son to stick up and defend his little sister when necessary. AND we also teach them that those kids who are bullying usually have rough lives and are desperatly in need of kindness and friends. But you can do both...you can let them know, like your son did, that bullying others is not ok and still seek to offer grace and kindness in spite of their actions. I'm proud of your son and thankful there are kids like this out there. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I think he thought that he'd just give the shoes back and that would be it. There was no violence in what he did. Oh - maybe I read your post wrong. I though it said he pulled the offender off the slide. My mistake. I don't think this issue is black and white. I don't think that fighting is never the answer. I really think that situations like this need to be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. Teaching kids what is appropriate and what is not is difficult! This is my point exactly. He should be praised highly for helping the little girl. He did a very mature thing! I would probably have taken him out for ice cream afterward as a reward for getting involved. I think that verbally teasing that little girl could have some of the same ramifications (long term) as physically attacking her. My son has been permanently affected by the teasing he endured when he was little (and often when we were right there). I would've truly appreciated it if someone had come to his defense in this manner. Again I agree, I guess I just felt your son was the one who initiated the violence not the offender. Don't misunderstand - your son did not cause the problem the other boy did he just caused the escalation into violence by pulling the other boy off the slide (as I originally thought). Respectfully, Of course! I spend a lot of time thinking about conflict resolution and boys. As a mother of 2 soon to be 3 boys, I do not like to see them use violence to solve their problems this is their natural tendency. (oh the hitting!) Your situation has given me a lot to think about handling bullies. Again - Please do not misunderstand Jennifer, your son did a great thing helping that little girl! You are doing a great job as a mother and it shows! My comments in my second post are not to be taken personally and were theoretical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 If you see someone have their purse stolen and dash off down the street, is it OK to try to stop them? I certainly think it is ethical/moral to do so, and that there might even be a moral imperative to try if you think you can. I don't think a bystander would be "in trouble" for doing so. If someone tried to steal your car, of course you could try to stop them. Would you just hand them the keys and wave? Now, restraining them and beating them up--yes, that would be wrong. But that's not the case here. Any touch is simply not an attack. Restraining a thief is just not the same as "attacking" them. I see your point here Kay but I am not sure I would try to stop them. What if they had a weapon? A gun? My line of reasoning with this was more about teaching them that there are authorities to handle certain situations i.e. parents, police and that kids should not always take matters into their own hands. Obviously there are flaws in my reasoning. I do applaud the boy for helping out! Yikes! I did not expect my comment to start such a fuss!:eek: Maybe I should let my hubby handle these situations in the future. Let me get out my tomato proof suit. (hiding now) :willy_nilly: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle in MO Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 and some of the others. I think your son tried to do a good thing in coming to the aid of this little girl. Yes, as young kids we maybe don't always have the "perfect" or "ideal" response, but that maturity is developed over time. I think his heart was right in the matter. I would agree that kids eventually need to work out these situations on their own, but adult intervention might be necessary. As to what I would do, I'm not sure. I think it was right to contact the little girls' parents. I'm not sure whether or not I would tell the boy's parents. I had a situation with my oldest once in which another girl instigated a problem, then when my oldest responded (not with any physical sort of thing, but just with words) the girl blew the whole situation all out of proportion, and somehow my daughter ended up being the "bad" kid in the situation! In reality, the other girl was spreading false rumors about my dd. When I tried to talk to the mother about the situation---calmly---the other mother got angry with my and hasn't spoken to me since! This happened about 5-6 years ago, after I'd started homeschooling. I sent them to summer school at the local public schools when this situation happened. That was the last summer we did that. I guess I'd think/pray about the situation and try to decide what to do from there. Sometimes parents are receptive to hearing about problems that their kids have caused, and sometimes----not. Unfortunate, but true. Best wishes to you in handling this situation! I think your son tried to do a good thing and handled it the best he knew how. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Sam grabbed the boy's feet and pulled him down the slide, took the shoes and handed them back to the girl. This is what I think he did wrong. It has nothing to do with being PC, it has to do with the fact that he opened himself up to retaliation by doing this. Is retaliation right? Absolutely not, but it's usually the way the world of the bully works. (J being the bully, I mean). Had he just grabbed the shoes from J and gave them back to the girl, that's a different story. IMO, the only time it's appropriate to physically step in if its when you're trying to physically protect or get someone off someone else. As I said before, I think it's great he stepped up to help the little girl and if she'd been my daughter, I'd do something for him to thank him. His intentions and motives were certainly in the right. But in the world today, where people carry knives, guns, razor blades, etc, the last thing I'd want would be for my child to aggravate a bully who could very well hurt him badly. With stories of kids of elementary age carrying weapons in schools, it's a scary scary world. And, since you said the bully has a rough home life, I'm going to guess his parents won't care or would hurt him more if they knew, depending on what kind of parents they are. I think your son has a sweet and caring heart and I'm sorry that didn't come across in my first post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted June 3, 2008 Author Share Posted June 3, 2008 Oh - maybe I read your post wrong. I though it said he pulled the offender off the slide. My mistake. This is my point exactly. He should be praised highly for helping the little girl. He did a very mature thing! I would probably have taken him out for ice cream afterward as a reward for getting involved. Again I agree, I guess I just felt your son was the one who initiated the violence not the offender. Don't misunderstand - your son did not cause the problem the other boy did he just caused the escalation into violence by pulling the other boy off the slide (as I originally thought). Of course! I spend a lot of time thinking about conflict resolution and boys. As a mother of 2 soon to be 3 boys, I do not like to see them use violence to solve their problems this is their natural tendency. (oh the hitting!) Your situation has given me a lot to think about handling bullies. Again - Please do not misunderstand Jennifer, your son did a great thing helping that little girl! You are doing a great job as a mother and it shows! My comments in my second post are not to be taken personally and were theoretical. Thanks for this post! Nope- ds didn't pull him off the slide, he just pulled him down the slide so that he could reach the shoes. If he hadn't been on the slide, I'm sure my ds wouldn't have touched him. He would've just taken the shoes back. This has been one area that my kids and I discuss and discuss and discuss! The kids keep coming up with hypothetical situations for us. It's hard for young boys, I think. There's a lot of grey area in these situations! Thanks again! This is what I think he did wrong. It has nothing to do with being PC, it has to do with the fact that he opened himself up to retaliation by doing this. Is retaliation right? Absolutely not, but it's usually the way the world of the bully works. (J being the bully, I mean). Had he just grabbed the shoes from J and gave them back to the girl, that's a different story. IMO, the only time it's appropriate to physically step in if its when you're trying to physically protect or get someone off someone else. As I said before, I think it's great he stepped up to help the little girl and if she'd been my daughter, I'd do something for him to thank him. His intentions and motives were certainly in the right. But in the world today, where people carry knives, guns, razor blades, etc, the last thing I'd want would be for my child to aggravate a bully who could very well hurt him badly. With stories of kids of elementary age carrying weapons in schools, it's a scary scary world. And, since you said the bully has a rough home life, I'm going to guess his parents won't care or would hurt him more if they knew, depending on what kind of parents they are. I think your son has a sweet and caring heart and I'm sorry that didn't come across in my first post. As I replied above, the only reason he pulled him down the slide was so that he could get the shoes out of the boy's hands. He didn't do that just to be mean. I can see how I wrote that so it could have been misconstrued! I hadn't thought about weapons. I have spoken with my son about that possibility. Thanks for your thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I guess I'm a lone dissenter here, but I think your son did a good thing. I don't think grabbing the kid's ankles and pulling him down the slide was overly "violent" given the situation. Yes, he should have asked J to do the right thing first (but maybe he did ask first... you don't really say.) But I would not want a child of mine to leave a 7-yo girl stuck on the top of a slide shoeless with a 12-yo bully tormenting her while he went to find an adult to handle the situation. No, you are not a lone dissenter here. I think Sam did the right thing. I am wondering...I may have missed the age of J. I didn't see that he was 7. Situations like that are what bravery is about, fighting for females and children. He got a combo of both. I'd be proud of him. :) T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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