Just want a little support

[Pamela H in Texas]

Okay, I have hesitated putting this out there for awhile now just because I was afraid, especially at first before details were available, that it would mess up other things we have in the works (primarily the adoption of "the three").

 

As many of you know, we were victims of the economy a few times over. My hubby lost his job in June 2009. In order to make things work, he accepted jobs in his old field but that required traveling (as well as other miserable things like jobs being several months then out of work again; but the money was REALLY nice and there is always unemployment at the highest allowable amount between jobs).

 

Last fall, in November, hubby got called back to work for his company doing a different line and position (for less money).

Unfortunately, this job too is being lost now <sigh>.

 

Good news and bad news:

 

The good news this time is that it is a small line and the company is willing to simply move all the people from this line to another.

So he does have a job still, just a different one. This should happen in March.

 

The bad news is that the company is moving all of them to 2nd shift. This just simply will not work for us more than for a *very* short time. And even then, it's *really* bad. The children simply NEED him and being as they attend school, they wouldn't have him if he is working 2nd shift. And *I* need him. I cannot parent these littles well without him. And though we could remove the kids from school after the adoption is completed which will fix the first aspect of this problem (not the I need him part), I had no intention on pulling them all out immediately. Because of their needs, we planned to pull them out one at a time and over a few years. Looking at whole children, immediately starting to homeschool isn't best.

 

Add to all that that I have student teaching next fall....

 

Anyway, so I'm worried. Basically, we will HAVE to make 2nd shift work temporarily if hubby doesn't find a job before March. And at least 2nd shift makes it where he CAN job search. I just hope he finds something else before then as I really think it'll be best for us all if that is the case.

 

If anyone can find some additional pearls in this sand, that too will be appreciated :)

Edited October 23, 2011 by 2J5M9K

[Rosie_0801]

:grouphug:

[Tress]

No advice (sorry), but a big :grouphug:.

[CalicoKat]

:grouphug: No advice either.

[Giraffe]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

No advice, but lots-n-lots of hugs.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I'm sorry. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Rivka]

I'm sorry. That sounds really hard.

[unsinkable]

I would drop the student teaching and get a mother's helper for the evenings.

[celticmom]

Does the job run all week or M-F? When dd was born I was working at a job that required 24/7 coverage. I worked swing shift friday, saturday, sunday, and monday. Dh worked a more conventional 9-5 M-F job and took off early on monday and friday and worked from home on the weekends to make up the hours. We were able to keep our dd out of daycare this way. That exact schedule would probably not work in your situation but if the schedule is all week it does give you a little more flexibility.

[LidiyaDawn]

What does "2nd shift" mean? Working nights? [i've never heard the expression]

 

Where we live, most of the men work for the same big companies and do 12 hour shifts, flipping from days to nights usually after five - so they do five days, five nights, then they have five off, rinse and repeat. My dh used to, but he now just works straight days - we're lucky, as not many do. He's got a weird position.

 

Anyway - just saying that I know what it's like to have a dh working nights. It sucks.. but a lot of people swing it. You get used to it. Will he have weekends off? or what will his days off be?

 

Maybe homeschooling the kids right off might be better anyway - I mean, you said you were gonna wait, as you thought that was better…but you also said they need time with their dad…so maybe it would be better?

[celticmom]

I would also say that I would decide what you want most from dh's schedule and try to figure out a way to have that. Ex. time with the children could he have one of the later start times and spend time with them after school and before work. Then he could sleep while they were at school. Alternatively, maybe he could help with getting them ready in the morning and on the way to school. Put them to bed earlier and get them up earlier and there would be more time in the morning for family time.

[unsinkable]

What does "2nd shift" mean? Working nights? [i've never heard the expression]

 

Where we live, most of the men work for the same big companies and do 12 hour shifts, flipping from days to nights usually after five - so they do five days, five nights, then they have five off, rinse and repeat. My dh used to, but he now just works straight days - we're lucky, as not many do. He's got a weird position.

 

Anyway - just saying that I know what it's like to have a dh working nights. It sucks.. but a lot of people swing it. You get used to it. Will he have weekends off? or what will his days off be?

 

Maybe homeschooling the kids right off might be better anyway - I mean, you said you were gonna wait, as you thought that was better…but you also said they need time with their dad…so maybe it would be better?

 

It "usually" means something like 3 or 4 pm to 11pm or 12 am for 8 hour shifts.

 

First shift is the day shift, second shift is the afternoon/evening and third shift is overnight.

[RegularMom]

I think a mother's helper in the evening is a good idea. Also, if at all possible, carve out some time in the mornings before everyone leaves for the day. Maybe make breakfast the family meal of the day, if possible?

 

I can commiserate with you a little. Sometimes RegularDad works second shift, and it really does affect the family. Not having him there for dinner and bedtime is so odd. We all feel out of sorts when he's on that schedule. For us, though, it's sporadic. Mostly he works days, but now he has to travel a lot. Ugh.

 

Anyway. Just wanted to say I hope you find a way through this. Hang in there.

[LidiyaDawn]

It "usually" means something like 3 or 4 pm to 11pm or 12 am for 8 hour shifts.

 

First shift is the day shift, second shift is the afternoon/evening and third shift is overnight.

 

Ohhhh…. okay, I get it. I'm not used to that set up.

 

Strangely… I think I wouldn't mind working that if I had to have a job ~ you'd be able to have your job AND your day to do stuff. Sleeping would still be relatively normal. Lots of daytime hours available to do things..

[MindyD]

My dh works 2nd shift from 3pm-12am, and honestly, it's a great schedule IF you homeschool. Dh is home a big chunk of the day so the kids get to see him a lot more. The biggest hurdle has been ME getting used to having him around during the day and still getting the school stuff done. We do lunch as our family meal, and the kids love having him around more.

 

BUT if the kids were in school, I agree it would be VERY hard, and it couldn't last long term. I hope the best solution presents itself soon. :grouphug:

[Brigitte]

Here are your "pearls"

1) You have all the way until March to figure the scheduling out, instead of 2 weeks.

2) Summer vacation time will soon follow the change in schedule, so you only have a couple of months to muddle through.

3) You have a supportive husband and older dd who will help in anyway they can get through this period.

 

Look for the positive!

[Jen in PA]

:grouphug:

[Impish]

Ohhhh…. okay, I get it. I'm not used to that set up.

 

Strangely… I think I wouldn't mind working that if I had to have a job ~ you'd be able to have your job AND your day to do stuff. Sleeping would still be relatively normal. Lots of daytime hours available to do things..

Yeah, but it means if kids are in ps, you don't really see them until the wknd. You're gone before they get home, and home after they're in bed. Only time you see them is first thing in the am.

[elegantlion]

My dad worked 2nd shift (2:30 to 10:30) the entire time we were growing up. He loved it, we didn't like it so much. :grouphug:

 

I do think it'd be a great shift for homeschooling, but it is hard when they're in school.

 

We always had to be quiet in the morning, so we didn't wake him up. Most years he worked weekends too, so we only saw him two evenings a week.

 

In this economy, I'd make it work somehow.