For those with a student in college--

[distancia]

I need some input before "we" make a big assumption and jump from the frying pan into the fire.

 

dd is having a very hard time at her (away) college. Previously she had been going to the local cc and she was quite happy and led a healthy lifestyle. But she started to run out of courses and she decided to go to a 4-year school to continue her studies. Well, college life has turned out to be a stressful environment for a day person like my dd, who is into fitness, healthy living [no drugs, alcohol, tobacco, etc] a calm lifestyle and quiet music.

 

Anyway, I am wondering: are all state colleges and universities the same, inasmuch as there is always so much noise and constant nocturnal activity on campus?

 

I did call another university here in our state and asked about the Honors housing, assuming (silly me) that there would be some sort of rules for study hours, quiet time, tc. I was told by the Honors Director that there really isn't anything to prevent students from staying up until 2 or 3 am and that quiet hours are suggestions only. When I asked the Director how late nights and noisy groups of students playing video games or playing beer pong translates into academic success, he had no answer. He then told me that even requesting a "day person" for roommate assignment doesn't guarantee anything, as students like to call themselves "day people" but in reality their day may end at 2 a.m. He said that this is how most young people are nowadays and campus housing no longer has enforced quiet times, like it did in the past.

 

Is this an anomoly for the area in which I live, or is it an all-over problem? Have your children complained? How did they remedy the situation? My dd just cannot continue on 4- or 5- hours of sleep and being stressed by all the drinking, smoking, and general late night activity (doors slamming, car horns honking, people yelling) going on around her.

[newbie]

I dont have an answer b/c my dd is commuter, but she is begging for dorms.

 

She does not realize the issues. I wish I could convey how horrible it could be.

[justamouse]

Check out Colleges that Change Lives, by Loren Pope. I believe there are a few very small colleges that would suit her.

 

If you are Catholic, check out Thomas More College of Liberal Arts.

[momma2three]

I know that my college had "substance-free" floors, where if you were caught with any drugs or alcohol (even if you were over 21 and the alcohol was legal), you would be asked to leave the dorm. It was a smaller college, though... actually, I believe it has a chapter in the "Colleges that Change Lives" book (though I could be misremembering).

 

It is surprising to me that there are no quiet dorms or substance free dorms. Many kids would prefer them. I made sure to live on substance free floors... I could always go somewhere else if I wanted to party and be loud, but it was really nice to be able to come back to a quiet place.

[In The Great White North]

Maybe a school with single rooms? Or off campus housing?

 

None of the Academies have any trouble enforcing quiet time, lights out or substance free dorms.

[regentrude]

I did call another university here in our state and asked about the Honors housing, assuming (silly me) that there would be some sort of rules for study hours, quiet time, tc. I was told by the Honors Director that there really isn't anything to prevent students from staying up until 2 or 3 am and that quiet hours are suggestions only.

 

I think it would be hard to find a place that mandates bed times for students and prevents them from staying up till 2am. The reality is that even students who do not party stay up late in order to finish their school work, especially when they are working jobs as well. So, nocturnal activity is most likely a given wherever you go.

Just to give you an example: our university library is open until Midnight daily, and until 2am during the last few weeks of the semester; the student center is open till 2:30am in exam weeks - this is a clear indication that many students use those times to study.

 

There are substance free dorms; and in universities with a strong Greek system much of the drinking and partying is taking place in the fraternities, not in the regular dorms.

 

Your DD might want to look into off-campus housing.

[Beth in OH]

I think your dd would do well to find another girl who has similar awake/asleep patterns to dd. A roommate switch is easier than a school transfer. The next level would be a single dorm room (if available) or into an apartment (expect there to still be student noise in other apartments/outside).

 

Although my dd is a night owl, she sleeps with a fan on in her room to drown out the movement outside her bedroom and apartment. I have two dd's in college--noise at all hours is par for the course.

[sunnyca]

We have had conversations about this with ds who is a freshman at the same big state school I attended 30 years ago. The survey he filled out for roommate selection was short with only two defining categories smoking/non smoking and up late/not up late. As someone mentioned, though, defining late night and also enforcing it with college students is tough.

 

Ds was paired with a very studious international student and placed in one of the quietest dorms on campus. His roommate and suite mates are all upperclassmen who are serious about doing well. Though they do not party, they are up late studying almost every night and some nights when one is helping another, it can be noisy. Slamming doors, bouncing balls, prank alarm bells at 2:00 am are all part of the deal. Ds needs to be up at 5 for workouts and prefers to go to bed by 10:00; it was a problem for him to manage that at the beginning.

 

He has considered an off campus apartment also but there are pitfalls to that. My college friend and I talked with him about those problems because we both thought we could not handle dorm life and jumped ship. We wished we had taken the time to adjust before deciding on such a move at a young age. Responsibilities and hassles that come with that were more distracting to us than the noise.

 

What we have suggested to ds: wear ear plugs at night, a vibrating and loud (sorry late night noisy roomies) alarm helps at AM wake up. He does not have problems with the light, but we also suggested blinders if it is a problem. During the day? Find a quiet study spot on campus or at the library so the dorm activity does not affect him.

[Karen in CO]

My ds had trouble the first semester he was away at college because the dorms were like that. He needed some peace and quiet. He has since moved into an apartment with two other students and learned to study at the library. Earplugs help too.

 

It is just something kids have to learn to deal with. I went to a small, liberal arts college and had the same problem.

[Tullia]

That seems to be true here too. It's something we'll be considering fairly soon because ds is almost finished with cc. He's delayed graduation a semester so that he can also complete the core courses required for a B.S. while still at the cc. He commutes now and can continue to do so, but none of his housing options are all that appealing. If he's accepted into the program he wants he will be spending long hours in the labs. I'm hoping that a less than ideal situation will motivate him to finish quickly.

[Jane in NC]

My son can sleep through anything. I could also at that age because by the time my head hit the pillow after classes and studying, I was literally exhausted.

 

Having lived in college towns, it may be important to note that off campus housing is not necessarily quieter if most of the residents are students. Recently I spent a night in an apartment in Boston where my friend's daughter (a law school student) resides. While there was not any noticeable "student noise", there was a lot of urban noise to which I am not accustom.

 

To the OP: Your daughter seems to be having a number of challenges in college. Does she have a rigid routine which prevents her from adapting to new hours or things like different light or noise?

 

My early rising son slept through dorm noise last year and continued his morning habits. He found that he could do laundry easily in the early morning and the dorm was usually quiet for studying before 10 or so.

Edited October 3, 2011 by Jane in NC

[Bootsie]

As a college professor, I think that late hours are the norm on most campuses. I think the amount of partying and drinking can vary from campus to campus and dorm to dorm, but the late hours are very much the norm. Most of the emails I receive from students are sent in the middle of the night; this is also when they often submit their online homework. We have classes that meet untill 10:00pm on our campus. Then, students have study groups and group projects to work on. Club meetings might start at 9:00 or 10:00pm.

 

I would suggest, if possible, you try to have your daughter draw a distinction between problems caused by sleep schedules that tend to be different than those around her and problems caused by her discomfort and annoyance with rowdy, drunken behavior.

[Jane in NC]

I would suggest, if possible, you try to have your daughter draw a distinction between problems caused by sleep schedules that tend to be different than those around her and problems caused by her discomfort and annoyance with rowdy, drunken behavior.

 

That is a good point. Not everyone on every campus drinks or is rowdy. It took my son until about the half way point of his first semester to find "his crowd".

[Photo Ninja]

Staying up late is the norm, and it can be difficult for a student who likes or needs to go to sleep before midnight.

 

We solved part of the problem for two of my dc by paying extra for them to each have a private room. It cost more, but they needed to be able to close a door and have visual privacy, and some quiet. Ds needs privacy and quiet in order to recharge himself. He is athletic and tends to spend a couple hours each day at the gym, but he gets distracted easily so he needs a private place where he can study and be alone for a while. Dd is very social, but transferred there as a junior, so her courses are more difficult than most classes the others in her suite have since they are all freshmen (dd is their age, though). She needs to keep a high GPA to keep her merit scholarship and needs to spend a lot of time studying. She needs quiet in order to study and she likes to go to sleep fairly early on most nights because she has 7:30 am classes. It wouldn't work well if she had to share a room. So for both these dc the answer was a private room, even though the private rooms are quite small and cost more. They are both in suites, which they say is quieter than the regular dorms. Their suites have 3 double rooms, 2 small private rooms, a living room/kitchenette area and two baths. This allows them some extra quiet unless their suite mates have friends in the living area. They are not at a Christian school, but this state school does not allow drugs or alcohol on campus and my ds said that rule is followed by most students. That helps as well.

 

The honors dorms for students in the honors program do have quiet hours that are enforced. Dd is in the honors dorm (but chose not to be part of the honors program), so her dorm is a bit quieter because of that. Ds's dorm did not enforce quiet hours unless someone complained, and that was rare. The only time quiet hours were enforced was during finals week. Ds just slept with music or tv on for background noise if it was too noisy.

[Denise in Florida]

If you are specifically thinking about Florida schools... we toured Stetson before we chose a school for dd20.

 

They stated that they have an honors dorm with an early lights out. You might check them out. They are in Deland.

 

Good luck, I hope she finds a place she can enjoy.

[Medstudent]

I need some input before "we" make a big assumption and jump from the frying pan into the fire.

 

dd is having a very hard time at her (away) college. Previously she had been going to the local cc and she was quite happy and led a healthy lifestyle. But she started to run out of courses and she decided to go to a 4-year school to continue her studies. Well, college life has turned out to be a stressful environment for a day person like my dd, who is into fitness, healthy living [no drugs, alcohol, tobacco, etc] a calm lifestyle and quiet music.

 

Anyway, I am wondering: are all state colleges and universities the same, inasmuch as there is always so much noise and constant nocturnal activity on campus?

 

I did call another university here in our state and asked about the Honors housing, assuming (silly me) that there would be some sort of rules for study hours, quiet time, tc. I was told by the Honors Director that there really isn't anything to prevent students from staying up until 2 or 3 am and that quiet hours are suggestions only. When I asked the Director how late nights and noisy groups of students playing video games or playing beer pong translates into academic success, he had no answer. He then told me that even requesting a "day person" for roommate assignment doesn't guarantee anything, as students like to call themselves "day people" but in reality their day may end at 2 a.m. He said that this is how most young people are nowadays and campus housing no longer has enforced quiet times, like it did in the past.

 

Is this an anomoly for the area in which I live, or is it an all-over problem? Have your children complained? How did they remedy the situation? My dd just cannot continue on 4- or 5- hours of sleep and being stressed by all the drinking, smoking, and general late night activity (doors slamming, car horns honking, people yelling) going on around her.

 

This is not at all an anomaly. I went to a mid-size school (~4000 undergrads), my sister went to a small liberal arts college (~1000 undergrads) and we had a very similar experience. You'll be EXTREMELY hard pressed to find a place where they have strict quiet hours and no drinking whatsoever...maybe a college in a dry county? But even then you can't avoid noise altogether.

 

We had quiet hours on campus- after 10 pm on normal days, after 12am on exam weeks. I had one RA that was a giant pain about it and would get mad when we were doing just about anything at those hours, but none of the others cared unless we were grossly disruptive. I honestly think it's a little unreasonable to ask a dormful of college students to be quiet after 10pm. I had many, many nights of studying into the middle of the night and while I always wore headphones and didnt bother anyone, I couldn't help it if I woke up my roommate- frankly, there wasn't anything that I could do about it. As for people partying and honking outside the window...I'm afraid that's part of the "college experience" people always want. I knew that whenever the Red Sox were playing, I could expect some serious noise outside from students and neighbors alike. Weekends were bound to be noisy as people let off steam.

 

I know it's frustrating, but part of living in a dorm on a college campus is about learning how to deal with people who aren't at all like you. Otherwise, you might as well keep living at home.

 

 

 

I know that my college had "substance-free" floors, where if you were caught with any drugs or alcohol (even if you were over 21 and the alcohol was legal), you would be asked to leave the dorm. It was a smaller college, though... actually, I believe it has a chapter in the "Colleges that Change Lives" book (though I could be misremembering).

 

It is surprising to me that there are no quiet dorms or substance free dorms. Many kids would prefer them. I made sure to live on substance free floors... I could always go somewhere else if I wanted to party and be loud, but it was really nice to be able to come back to a quiet place.

 

I lived in a substance free dorm and let me tell you, it made no difference. No one did drugs (or if they did, I never knew) but plenty of people had beer in their rooms and many/most returned home drunk from parties on the weekends. Our RA's didn't really care, and even if they did all that meant was that we had to be a little more circumspect about the partying. And even when none of us partied at all, the people outside the window did.

 

 

I think it would be hard to find a place that mandates bed times for students and prevents them from staying up till 2am. The reality is that even students who do not party stay up late in order to finish their school work, especially when they are working jobs as well. So, nocturnal activity is most likely a given wherever you go.

Just to give you an example: our university library is open until Midnight daily, and until 2am during the last few weeks of the semester; the student center is open till 2:30am in exam weeks - this is a clear indication that many students use those times to study.

 

There are substance free dorms; and in universities with a strong Greek system much of the drinking and partying is taking place in the fraternities, not in the regular dorms.

 

Your DD might want to look into off-campus housing.

 

:iagree: I think off campus housing might be the only option, although you might want to go somewhat far away from the campus because I know where I went to college, off-campus housing was often way more rowdy than the dorms because they had no rules.

 

 

Edit: I also would like to point out that this is largely dependent on majors and extracurriculars and jobs and such. With my schedule, I'd be in class until noon, lab until 4, voice stuff until 6, then have club meetings or work or whatever until 9 or 10. That's when I started my homework, and I often wasn't done before 1 or 2 at best, 6 or 7 if there was a test coming up. One of my former roommates was a music major and the practice rooms were limited so she'd always have to go at like 10 or 11 pm. We had no nursing major, but clinicals can have night shift.

Edited October 4, 2011 by Medstudent

[creekland]

I consider it one of the major pluses to my life that I learned to sleep through almost anything while at college. ;)

 

My dorm didn't allow drinking in the dorms, but on the weekends, some would definitely come back a bit tipsy.

 

Oldest hasn't complained at all about dorm noise, but I suspect he's one of those staying up late (not drinking and partying, but studying and talking/socializing with friends).

 

The vast majority of teens are on a night owl schedule. I never was (and am still not), but it's just one of those facts of life.

 

With all the issues your dd is having at this college, it might be worth it to transfer, but I think at any college except the academies she's going to find night noise simply due to the majority of teens body clocks.

[LuvingLife]

I have not gone away to college yet, but here is what I do when my siblings are being way too noisy to actually study (although I can study through a lot of noise, I cannot study science through any noise at all) I prefer to use earplugs, go to the library, use a fan to muffle noise, or listen to piano music while trying to study. It all seems to help me, maybe it will help your dd?

[Barbara H]

It is a common complaint. Some colleges do have the range of dorm choices including sometimes called things like quiet, healthy living, or substance free. What that will do is increase the odds she might meet like minded people, however typically these limits are not enforced because students are considered adults who need to make their own choices.

 

My practical suggestions would be:

1. Your daughter should talk to someone in residential life to see if there is any option to switch to a different roommate or dorm. This really isn't something you can do for her because it will just been seen as a parent wanting the school to provide supervision. If she wants it she will need to seek it out.

2. She should work on trying to find the other serious students who need sleep so she can plan a future living situation that works better.

3. Right now she should make a schedule to be out of the dorm, at the library when she wants to study.

4. A white noise machine and/or earplugs might be a huge help in filtering out doors closing and noise down the hall.

5. If her roommate is being disruptive - partying in the room or anything like that - she should work on self advocating to try to work out that situation. If they are at an impasse it is time to approach the RA or residential life staff for help. It may well be there is another student like your daughter who might also like to switch for a roommate who goes to sleep earlier.

[memphispeg]

My dd moved to an all women's dorm in her sophomore year. There were many hard-working foreign women there who were not partyers. She is back to a co-ed, more "lively" dorm this year but, sneaks out to the library first thing in the morning (7AM) and does her work there. She works in her dorm room only if she is doing easy work. Most of the kids "pre-game" and then party elsewhere at night. She's not totally happy but, it is better than her first year. She is a day-time person (always has been). Next year she will live in sr. housing, some buildings are understood to be for more hard-working folk.

I had a similar problem as your dd. I used to study in the physics and classics libraries on campus and then go home to sleep. Most kids in my dorm went out to party and were generally fairly insensible by the time they got home. It is a huge adjustment for your dd to make......I would try for honors, single sex, or off campus housing....and tell her to grit her teeth, it is "just" for 4 years.

[TravelingChris]

My dd is not in a Florida school but she isn't having any such problems, normally. Very occasionally, there is some noise. She is in a single room in a two bedroom suite. It is an honors dorm. She is next door to a utility room, so no noise from there. IT is a newer dorm so noises from other floors are minimal. The only noise she sometimes hears is from the courtyard. I am very happy that although she went to a big school with a big Greek scene, she hasn't had problems with sleep.