Thanks for that insight LizzyBee. Some folks have counseled the dad to let him go and find out for himself that his mom cannot care for him. The interesting thing is that his mom does not really seem to want him until after he is old enough to be on his own. She told him he will help him get an apartment near her and said she will be at work most of the time so he may not see her much. He says he cannot trust her, but her solution for depression --party and forget about it-- is appealing to him now. The damage of letting him find out for himself, could be too great for his dad to agree to let him go. It probably will not happen and it does not seem to me that he will run away, but I could always be wrong. Either way, I know his need to feel loved is greater than my need to be right, so I do not speak about either parent one way or the other. He is working with his counselor to mend the relationship with his dad and we encourage as much visiting as possible. I listen to him speak about his mom without comment but I imagine he thinks I disapprove of her lifestyle simply because mine is different. I do tell him I feel sorry for her struggles and that I am praying for her; which, I am. He spent time with another family member and I heard that he spoke highly of our home interaction and was eager to get back here. I am really rooting for him and some days I have more hope than others. Laurie4b: Alas, alas, indeed!

Thank you!! All of your comments are extremely helpful. I know every circumstance is different because people are unique but I have been baffled by the counselor's lack of interest in his MIA mom. To be fair, it may be too soon in counseling and she may be peeling the layers of an onion to eventually get to the core. Mommyfaithe, thank you especially for sharing your story. It helps immensely and I will pass some of your comments on to his dad. He feels like he was hit by a truck he did not see coming. He recognizes he made mistakes but has no idea why the extreme rejection. In reading through here, I do not think it is a coincidence that it all blew up when the boy's paternal grandmother died. She took care of him while his dad worked and did all of the typical mommy things plus volunteered at school, showed up for all performances, cheered at graduations, took pictures of every new development in his life, etc. Not surprisingly, he identifies the start of his depression the same year she was diagnosed. Sometimes you have to be hit over the head with the obvious, but I see the puzzle pieces emerging. My role is different because he has no close relationship with me, I think. I show him love and he follows me around like a two year old, acts completely helpless around me, and likes to talk to me about his feelings. I tell him I love him without condition so he can be himself here, but we have rules that he cannot violate. He has been complacent but I think it may be that he is not afraid of losing me. He knows it is temporary until he goes with his mom --or that's what he hopes. I am not sure how long he will be here, it is not entirely up to me. What I am hearing is that once he starts feeling an attachment, he may reject me, too. I see also that he needs to grieve his grandmother's death, maybe even before he can grieve the loss of his mom who still calls him to feed his negativity :( Lots of great stuff to think about here, I appreciate every post!

His dad is very concerned about restoring and protecting the relationship. They have had counseling sessions together and hopefully things will begin to mend. Evidently, it was deceptively good for many years but changed in the last few months following an extended-family crisis and the re-entering of his mom into his life. His dad works full time so we are offering our home as a safe place for the time he would be alone and as an option to him in lieu of running away during a fit of anger. The question was more for my benefit since I hoped to help more than by offering a room and some meals.

Is it always as hopeless as this sounds? In less than two years he will be on his own (by choice, probably) and it is heartbreaking to imagine life if these obstacles cannot be overcome. He was evaluated by a psychiatrist who determined medicating was not necessary/good idea. Thanks for the lead into a research topic I would not have thought relevant. I agree his mom leaving is huge no matter what.

Thanks ladies. He is most definitely testing to see if others will leave him. He is seeing a family counselor but she has not focused on the mother at all. In fact, the mother was visiting for a short time following a recent crisis and was supposed to be at counseling session but unexpectedly left and called to say goodbye once she was 2 hours away. :( I do see manipulative behavior, but you all confirmed my guess that this is a result of what happened. His brothers never lived with him, so as a baby it did not make a difference. Once he understood he had siblings, his questions have been more along the line of: why did mom take them and not me? She always promises to take him with her and strings him along; so even though it is good he cannot go, it is sad to hear him talk like this time it will happen.

I am not certain this label applies but I wonder if knowing more might help me in the current situation. I will deliberately try to be vague but may end up deleting this post later. At age 2, a teen, was left by his mother who moved out of state. She left him because she said dad would "do a better job" than she could. However she took the older three children from a previous relationship. They had up to that point been living with her mother since their dad was/is an addict. Dad chose not to divorce and left the door open for the sake of the child. He never dated and has been a single dad for 14 years. Mom lives from one party to the next and has had a string of relationships. The older three suffered from neglect, and are now adults who have serious problems. Unfortunately mom was inconsistent and over the years added insult to injury by failing to keep promises and being erratic in communicating. Fast forward to today. The boy is severely depressed and became involved with the wrong crowd in school. His dad recently had to enforce some rules at home and, fueled by the mom, the boy has responded by turning on his father. He is living with me now and in counseling. The counselor is focused on helping his depression but I think depression is just one symptom. There are other issues I see, but I wonder if maternal abandonment is the key. Has anyone dealt or seen this played out in a teen's life, what does it look like? is there a way to help? We are Christian so prayer is our first tool of defense, but are convinced that God helps us in many ways, including through the wisdom of others. Thanks for reading :001_smile:

My vote was Lindsey Stirling, too but I see lots of links already posted. :D

Sent you a PM

I have just had this very sad experience and am trying hard to be gracious just to keep the pain of losing my mom from being compounded by the pain caused by criticism. Having been there, I now recognize the importance of measuring carefully every word I say to, or about someone who is grieving. The opinions expressed here are interesting and I thank you all for posting. It helps to understand differing perspectives.

I, likewise, could say great things about CAP. Ds was also in a composite squadron with many pilots, earned all available awards, and flew gliders as well. I did not mean to offend other CAP moms, cadets or senior members. One of you mentioned state support of CAP having to do with encouraging small airports. It must be that our experience in a large city makes the difference. We have 3 commercial airports, at least 8 reliever airports and several more public use airports as well as a military airport-- which houses one of the units--all in the same area as the three CAP squadrons that are nearby. Many of the pilots who are senior members work for the innumerable flight schools that surround these airports, and I think there is an unspoken agreement that CAP does not compete with the schools. Gliders, rocketry, military drill, FTX, encampments, search and rescue training, etc...yes, but not mechanized aircraft flight. The four community colleges in the same vicinity also have flight programs that are affordable but not available to high school students. Competition drives the price of private lessons lower, such that CAP week-long camps and definitely the powered flight academy (once you factor in travel time) are not the cheapest options. Interestingly enough, cadet pilots are rare and after 6 years with CAP, we only know of one other cadet besides Ds who flew mechanized aircraft. We know of other young pilots but all have taken one of the other routes since they are not interested in military style activities. Ds is still a CAP member, though not really active, and may return as a senior member after his military service. Though it was not the way to receive aviation training here in SoCal, Ds is pleased with his involvement, too. Again, my apologies to all CAP enthusiasts if I implied differently. I should have just shared the book title. :blush:

Ds also did Civil Air Patrol and it was a great activity but though he participated in two different squadrons, the experience was more military-like than flight. He did go on an Orientation flight which was fabulous and, of course, the meetings were at a hangar :) but he did not receive much Aviation Science training through CAP. It is a great organization and Ds enjoyed his time and all of the activities because he will serve in the military after college, but from our experience aviation is definitely secondary to military training in CAP. Ds did study aviation and obtained his private pilot's license before he turned 18. I gave him high school credit for his ground school training and just now asked him what it was :) He says he studied Jeppsen's Guided Flight Discovery Private Pilot Textbook and considers it the best way to go. He took flight lessons off and on through HS and finished just after graduation, but he thinks the course can be done even if you are not taking lessons yet. I think there is a syllabus sold by Jeppsen's also, but Ds was self motivated so I just let him power through the book at his own pace and gave him credit when he finished it. I think I gave him one semester's worth because that's how long it took him, but the book is meaty and it could be stretched out for a year, I think. He was in a hurry because he wanted to pass the test and move on. :) This book trained him well enough and he passed his test on the first try. He says that his advice for someone who really wants to fly, is to avoid the pricey video courses and DVDs. This book has what you need and the flight instructor will fill in the gaps when you take lessons. He felt the tests were easy after this course. After all was said and done, this text was the least expensive of the flight training. Ds says good luck to your dd..."being a bush pilot is a really cool thing to want to do!" ETA: ISBN# 9780884874292

If I remember correctly, the option to select homeschooler is under "Professional Affiliation" -- you still need to add a CEEB code which is the same state code used for PSAT and differs by state. See the list here: CEEB I just did this and had my syllabus approved a few days ago but my memory is not great, unfortunately :) I hope this helps.

I just finished teaching a homeschool class with this course because the co-op requested it. I also teach/have taught with several other curriculum and belong to a national association of teachers (private,public, homeschool) who are in constant discussion about pacing :) Destinos touches on many grammar topics quickly but it does not cover them in depth, so it does not surprise me that a school would spread it out over 3 years and supplement as they go. The content is still not more than the equivalent of a good college prep Spanish II in my area. It may be because Spanish is a common language in my state, but I guess the pacing may be a little faster here than it seems to be elsewhere Also, public schools do what they have to do; and the beauty of homeschooling is that we can, too. Taking it at your own pace is great advice and if doing that, I would suggest supplementing the text exercises. I don't think there is enough in the workbook and textbook for adequate practice. Destinos is popular so there are many supplementary resources. Quia.com and Quizlet.com have great practice exercises already set up for you, and many to choose from, too.

The Second Edition of the Alternate Edition of Destinos is virtually the same in content but has a few added exercises and activities designed for the classroom. The Second Edition was designed for the online environment so it does not have paired activity or group interaction exercises included in the text of the Alternate Edition. Both sets have answers in the back (text and workbook) but you will find "answers will vary" often, especially as you get deeper into the text and the students are expected to write short sentence responses or personal responses to a general question. Completing all 52 lessons is the equivalent of 2 years of High School Spanish. You can probably find syllabi by googling for it since this has been a text used in community colleges for some years or you may create your own. For HS, figure on 26 weeks to cover the first half of the book in one year with an additional week or two thrown in for mid term and final review. HTH

This is what I heard for many years and may have been true in the past. My ds is a junior at UCLA and our experience was much different. UCs were much more open to the non traditional application than we expected. No perfect SAT score here and only the required SAT IIs (no longer required for current admission) and 2 APs, and only one college class done for dual enrollment (we were not impressed with the quality of the community college class so did not take more). He did write a couple of extra essays detailing his unique application but there was no trouble accepting any our our courses which were mostly Christian curriculum -- they did not even ask for detailed information or even course descriptions. UCLA was his choice but not his only CSU/UC acceptance. Along with several of his homeschool friends, we have seen admission to UC Berkeley, UCSan Diego, UCLA, UC Santa Cruz, UC Irvine as well as pretty much any Cal State, including Cal Poly San Luis Obispo which is a tougher admission process. He has also run into many homeschool grads at school which leads us to believe our experiences were not unique. UCLA has one of the highest application rates (and therefore, the lowest admission rate) in CA schools but that does not mean it is impossible for homeschoolers, as far as we can see. I suggest no homeschooled student rule out CA state schools, if they are of interest. Just like at any university, there are requirements for certain years of Math, Foreign Language, etc, but it is consistent with any good college prep program. I did not find the admission processes to have required hoop jumping, though I expected the worst since it is what we had heard, too. CA community colleges are very impacted and incredibly difficult to finish in 2 years as used to be the case. We thought jumping into the 4year was a better option since statistics show that many who go the CC route now either get discouraged and never transfer, or end up taking much longer to transfer than they thought. All that said.... I would also look into privates. Vanguard is one whose admission process is easier for homeschoolers since it is Christian. I have also heard of generous scholarships for the Arts. Concordia is a great music school and, likewise, offers great scholarships. Both are located near everything you would love about California and are small enough to feel like home for an out of stater.