Hoggirl Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I have been point on "notice" by my across-the-street neighbor that she is in labor. I will likely be tending to her older two children while she is having this baby. Her first was a caesarean, her second a VBAC, and she is planning on a home birth for this baby. It just makes me SO worried. I know babies are born all over the world without the benefit of doctor "gadgets," but I am still worried for her. Anyone here have a BTDT with a similar birthing history? It's funny b/c she has been seeing BOTH an obgyn and a midwife - neither one knows about the other! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I know lots of women who have done a homebirth after vbac or c section. It'll be alright. :hugs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linguistmama Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I know several women who had a vbac at home and everything went just fine. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Tara~ Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Relax. Deep breath. The mama has confidence in her body's ability to birth...she needs you to trust in that as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizaG Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Relax. Deep breath. The mama has confidence in her body's ability to birth...she needs you to trust in that as well. Why? I didn't get the impression that the mother was looking for a birth coach. I thought she just needed someone to watch her children if necessary. :confused: (I know it wouldn't be appropriate for her to voice these concerns to the mother, but the OP's private feelings are... her private feelings.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Why? I didn't get the impression that the mother was looking for a birth coach. I thought she just needed someone to watch her children if necessary. :confused: If she has a midwife, won't she be there for the birth? Pray for her but trust the professionals to be there for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizaG Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 If she has a midwife, won't she be there for the birth? Pray for her but trust the professionals to be there for her. Sorry, I meant that the neighbor didn't seem to be expecting the OP to serve as a birth coach. (Not that she was planning to give birth unattended.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I had two VBACs at home. She will be fine and she doesn't need you being worried for her. I hope you haven't said anything to her. It annoyed me beyond anything when people told me how worried they were for me. To me it would be the same thing if your neighbor (or anyone) said to you, "Really? You home school? Wow, how scary. I am so worried for you and your children. What will you do if your kids don't learn enough?" So, try to relax. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Sorry, I meant that the neighbor didn't seem to be expecting the OP to serve as a birth coach. (Not that she was planning to give birth unattended.) I was just piggy-backing off of your comment. I wasn't disagreeing with you!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Relax. Deep breath. The mama has confidence in her body's ability to birth...she needs you to trust in that as well. :iagree: ... She will be fine and she doesn't need you being worried for her. I hope you haven't said anything to her. It annoyed me beyond anything when people told me how worried they were for me. To me it would be the same thing if your neighbor (or anyone) said to you, "Really? You home school? Wow, how scary. I am so worried for you and your children. What will you do if your kids don't learn enough?" So, try to relax. :001_smile: :iagree: She has a midwife. She has a OB. She seems to have it together, knows exactly what she needs and has a plan A and plan B. And yes, millions of women have homebirths around the world. Sounds like you're a great neighbor to take over the kiddos :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Yup, I had a homebirth 19 months ago, and it was a VBAC. My midwife is awesome, and would have transferred me to the hospital at the first sign of problems. Remember, midwives bring oxygen, resuscitation equipment for mom and baby, medications to stop hemmoraghes, etc. And blood pressure cuffs, a doppler to check the baby's heartbeat, etc. It isn't just herbs and prayer, there is actual science going on over there, I promise. Also, if it is rupture you are worried about the chances are so small, and even if she did rupture, if the placenta isn't over the scar it isn't a real emergency. The catastrophic ruptures are in women where the placenta is affected. Her OB would have told her if the placenta was on/near the scar, so that is one less worry. My friend did have a rupture/window during her VBAC at home, and it wasn't dangerous. Labor just didn't progress, so they transferred and the opening was found during a c-section. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 I have tried to be very supportive of her decision. I know other women who have had home births but not any with her history. So, while I have not voiced my nervousness to her, I *have* felt nervous all along. I get that a midwife will get her to a hospital if the need arises. We aren't far, but it isn't the same as already being in the hospital. At least not to me. I guess it is so far out of *MY* comfort zone that I don't even "get it." She is a great friend and neighbor, and I just want her and the baby to okay. You all have given me some reassurances. Thank you. Lord, no! I am not going to be a birthing coach! :lol: She has great confidence in her midwife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I haven't done a VBAC, but I had a homebirth during which my neighbor watched my kids. My longest labor at that point had been 3 hrs, shortest 19min. I assured her it wouldn't be too long--this was my 4th baby. She had the kids for 8hrs, so she knew something was wrong. It worked out, but when baby came, I was 1min away from mw's deadline to transfer me to the hosp. (Water had broken 30 hrs or so before...mw fudged it by counting from when I called her...) Anyway, my neighbor fed my kids, prayed for the delivery, & all was well. Except that I was embarrassed for leaving my dc w/ her for so long! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I have tried to be very supportive of her decision. I know other women who have had home births but not any with her history. So, while I have not voiced my nervousness to her, I *have* felt nervous all along. I get that a midwife will get her to a hospital if the need arises. We aren't far, but it isn't the same as already being in the hospital. At least not to me. I guess it is so far out of *MY* comfort zone that I don't even "get it." She is a great friend and neighbor, and I just want her and the baby to okay. You all have given me some reassurances. Thank you. Lord, no! I am not going to be a birthing coach! :lol: She has great confidence in her midwife. It's really sweet of you to support her & keep your nervousness to yourself. *I* can see that it comes from love--both the worry & the keeping quiet about it. You sound like a sweet neighbor. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 (edited) My 1st was born w/ a CNM in a hospital, my 2nd at a FSBC, and my third was a HB with a CNM. My homebirth midwife carries oxygen, pitocin, can intubate, and is trained in neonatal resuscitation. All of the equipment that is available at a FSBC is generally available in a homebirth. Remember that many hospitals (especially smaller or more rual hospitals) do *not* have 24/7 anesthesia available at all times for c/s and they have to wait until they can page a doc on call, so a delay can be quite common even if one births in a hospital. This was discussed in the NIH conference on VBACs. Having one vbac in between the c/s and this birth is a positive (again according to the NIH conference on vbacs). There are some old threads here on HB that might help you. I'm sure she informed herself and made the best decision she could for her family. It is nice of you to watch her kids. Edited September 30, 2011 by Momof3littles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JVA Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 It annoyed me beyond anything when people told me how worried they were for me. To me it would be the same thing if your neighbor (or anyone) said to you, "Really? You home school? Wow, how scary. I am so worried for you and your children. What will you do if your kids don't learn enough?" So, try to relax. :001_smile: Thank you for this wisdom......I've had three VBACs (at hospitals) but am nervous about homebirths......I see now that saying something like this would be insensitive and hurtful. Thank you for pointing it out to me. I would have hit the ceiling- figuratively- if anyone had said the above to me....so I'll be more careful. I learn new things every day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azmomx3 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I would never say anything to her...but I really struggle with understanding that decision with a history like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenvneck Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 My first 3 children were born by c-section (2 CS, the first one was twins)...and then I had a homebirth with my fourth. It was amazing and one of the best choices I ever made. Best wishes for a lovely birth to your neighbor. What a great friend she has in you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 It will be ok! I have had two homebirths. Please don't push your fears onto her. She needs support right now, not fear! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I have tried to be very supportive of her decision. I know other women who have had home births but not any with her history. So, while I have not voiced my nervousness to her, I *have* felt nervous all along. I get that a midwife will get her to a hospital if the need arises. We aren't far, but it isn't the same as already being in the hospital. At least not to me. I guess it is so far out of *MY* comfort zone that I don't even "get it." She is a great friend and neighbor, and I just want her and the baby to okay. I'm glad you haven't said anything to her. It's emotionally draining for a woman planning a VBAC at home to have to address other people's anxiety. It's okay for you to be nervous, but keeping it to yourself is the considerate thing to do. The best part for you about your neighbor's birth choice (and every other woman's for that matter) is that it does *not* have to be your choice. :D I bet you're going to make her a super delicious meal after her baby is born. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 I'm glad you haven't said anything to her. It's emotionally draining for a woman planning a VBAC at home to have to address other people's anxiety. It's okay for you to be nervous, but keeping it to yourself is the considerate thing to do. The best part for you about your neighbor's birth choice (and every other woman's for that matter) is that it does *not* have to be your choice. :D I bet you're going to make her a super delicious meal after her baby is born. She had the baby, but I do not know any details as I have asked her four-year-old to call me with a report. :D We had the four-year-old boy and the two-year-old girl from about 7:00 p.m. last night to 10:30 this morning. Dad just came and got them. He said it went really well, but as I said I am going to let the little boy tell me the gender and name. Then I will go over to see the baby. I am so thankful/relieved everything went well. Probably because she was fearful of comments, I was the ONLY person she told about the home birth. Her co-workers and family did not even know she was considering it. Actually, I sent lentil soup yesterday. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Yay! Good news! and you sound like a terrific neighbor. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Yay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Great! You sound like a wonderful neighbor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I would never say anything to her...but I really struggle with understanding that decision with a history like that. :confused::glare: Her history is a cs followed by a successful VBAC. There is not enough information to be confident OR nervous, really. OP, I've had a homebirth and the benefit of a friend watching my younger 2 kids during it. It was an invaluable service that mom did for me! Just a general note from a homebirthing perspective: Many homebirthers would ask if you feel the same about moms in hospitals and the constellation of issues they can face. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 She had a boy! 7 lb 10 oz and 20 inches long. So, so precious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 :party: She had a boy! 7 lb 10 oz and 20 inches long. So, so precious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 She had a boy! 7 lb 10 oz and 20 inches long. So, so precious! :party: Woohoo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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