MamaCoop04 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 My 8 month old is a terrible sleeper! This is my 5th baby, so you'd figure I'd know what I'm doing by now, but I'm at my wits end and I'm humbly asking for help! So he's never really learned to fall asleep on his own, he's usually held or nursed to sleep, okay, I know first mistake, but now that I need him to nap since school has started, all he does is scream. Seriously, for like 2 hours. We've been doing this for 2 weeks and no improvement. I put him in his bed, shut the door and go downstairs. He'll cry for so long that it's time to eat, so I'll finally go get him, feed him and immediately falls asleep. Arg! Okay, that's my day problem, the night problem is a whole different ball game. I swear he's up like every other hour and the only way he'll fall back asleep is me feeding him. I. am. so. tired. I even went to bed at 9:45pm last night, got up at 6am and still felt completely drained. He's eating cereal and baby food twice a day. He refuses to take his bink. I just don't know what to do other than ship him downstairs to sleep at night in the living room (where he won't wake the other kids) and put my ac on so I can actually sleep. I just hate the idea of letting him cry it out downstairs all alone for that long. I do it during the day, but it's usually only an hour or so. Ahhhh, I don't know what to do and I need some sleep!! Any ideas???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am not totally anti-CIO, but 2 hours is too long, for a baby to fuss unattended. no help, I know. So sorry. I had a couple like that. It was HORRIBLE. Do what you need to do to get him to sleep. Will he let you put him down once he is asleep? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 These are things that worked for my baby-crab who refused to sleep. 1 - make sure it's not teeth. Frankly the only way I could get her to sleep for any period of time when she was teething was to give her motrin and tylenol. She was a terrible teether. 2 - wear the baby during the day. I would put DD into a sling or back pack and wear her all day. The only time she got down was for a feed, diaper change or play time on a blanket at my feet when I sat down. She seemed to need the extra physical contact much more than my 3 older kids. Sometimes she would sleep in the back pack, but more often she would happily lie down on her blanket and go to sleep there in the same room where everyone else was. 3 - throw down a sleeping bag and sleep next to the crib for a few nights. I had to leave a little light on so DD could see I was there when she woke up. I wouldn't get up and nurse her, but I would talk to her and she would go back to sleep. Sorry.....sleep deprivation is no joke! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 This may be your 5th baby, but it is the first time with this one. They are all so different. What works with one doesn't with another. With my twins, I did put them in the basement in the farthest room and closed every door in between us. I slept. I did this on their doctor's orders. I was so tired from lack of sleep that I was becoming a danger to all of us. It worked. They learned to sleep. I don't even feel guilty about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serendipitous journey Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 You can do a google search for baby sleep and "Berkeley Parents Network" for a variety of suggestions. I had excellent luck with Ferber's sleep book. He has a horrid reputation but his book is wonderful, and not at all along the lines of let-the-child-cry-for-hours (something you will not do if you follow his methods). ... I need to go do math with Button before baby wakes up; :grouphug: and good luck ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Is he tired? Does he really need the nap at the time you put him down? Maybe he wears himself out crying/screaming and is actually tired when you put him down the second time. As for bedtime he is big enough that you probably wouldn't squish him if he co-slept with you. That way he could get his own snack without waking you so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Just some thoughts, because there really isn't a right answer. You just have to try different things until you find what's right for you. :001_smile: At 8mo, he's old enough to have some sort of schedule, IMHO. So you could try some of these things (and you might have to work on them for several days or a week...or longer..just sayin'...): Pick him up and nurse him in the morning til he's finished...warm, fuzzy mommy-baby time (as much as he'll let you, lol). Let him sit with all of you in a high chair while y'all have breakfast. Let him eat what y'all are eating. Just put it on his plate/highchair tray and have at it. (I'd put a spoon in his hand so he'll begin to learn to use it.) Not baby cereal. Not baby food. Real food. He won't get that much in his mouth at first, but it will keep him busy, it's good for his fine motor skills and his hand-to-eye coordination. And it doesn't involve you, KWIM? Also, give him a sippy cup with water in it. When y'all are all finished, clean him up and get started with your school day. Put him on the floor for awhile, let him sit in his high chair and eat cheerios or fruit, let him sit on your lap, let one dc play with him while you work with another, whatever. See if you can keep him up and awake until lunch time. At lunch, nurse him and then put him to bed, even if he falls asleep while he's nursing and he wakes up as soon as you stand up and you have to put him in his bed while he's wide awake. Put him in there and walk away. He doesn't have to cry it out until he sleeps; just let him fuss or whatever for, oh, 15 or 20 minutes, then go pick him up and love on him. See if you can keep him up until supper. And at supper, put him in his highchair with whatever food the rest of you are eating. Just put it on his highchair tray and let him have at it. Give him a sippy cup with water, too. After supper (and cleaning him up, lol), see if you can keep him awake until a good bedtime. Give him a bath, put his jammies on him, nurse him if he'll let you, then put him to bed and walk away. Let him cry some, but not until he's throwing up or anything. :-o If it's clear that he has no intention of sleeping, have Mr. MamaCoop04 go pick him up and love on him, then try putting him back to bed. Y'all might have to work on this part for awhile. Can you not sleep with the baby? Because that would be one of my suggestions. If baby does go to sleep when you put him to bed, and he wakes up later in the night, you could go in and nurse him, then put him back to bed and walk away. Also, you could wait a little while to see if he'll go back to sleep on his own before you go get him in the first place. At 8 mos, he might or might not be able to sleep all night long, but if he had a good supper, and you nursed him later in the evening, he's more likely to be able to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 oooo thank you for posting this. My baby girl is almost 7 months and she used to be an awesome sleeper, but for the past several weeks, she's been waking up every two hours. Digby was always a real terrible sleeper and I went crazy with the sleep deprivation, so I want to make sure I nip this in the bud. It's true every child is different. I wish I had carried Digby around in a Moby or Baby Bjorn. Knowing what I know about him NOW, I think he just needed more physical contact. What I've tried with baby girl is bringing her to bed with me when she wakes up in the night. I don't feed her and usually she'll fall asleep. I am going to have to kick DH to the couch for a few nights because I cannot sleep with all of us so squished. Sure, she sleeps and DH sleeps, but I don't. I'm hoping that if she learns to soothe herself back to sleep without feeding, she'll be able to stay in her crib. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 he's usually held or nursed to sleep, okay, I know first mistake I wouldn't call that a mistake. It's okay to hold or nurse your baby to sleep. but now that I need him to nap since school has started, all he does is scream. Seriously, for like 2 hours. We've been doing this for 2 weeks and no improvement. I put him in his bed, shut the door and go downstairs. He'll cry for so long that it's time to eat, so I'll finally go get him, feed him and immediately falls asleep. Arg!I am not a fan of letting a baby, especially say one and under, CIO, and I would never let a baby/toddler/child of any age cry alone for two hours. That's way too long. Have you tried reading the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? She has one for infants and one for toddlers and I HIGHLY recommend reading them. Okay, that's my day problem, the night problem is a whole different ball game. I swear he's up like every other hour and the only way he'll fall back asleep is me feeding him. I. am. so. tired. I even went to bed at 9:45pm last night, got up at 6am and still felt completely drained. He's eating cereal and baby food twice a day. He refuses to take his bink. I just don't know what to do other than ship him downstairs to sleep at night in the living room (where he won't wake the other kids) and put my ac on so I can actually sleep. I just hate the idea of letting him cry it out downstairs all alone for that long. I do it during the day, but it's usually only an hour or so. Ahhhh, I don't know what to do and I need some sleep!! Any ideas????Again, try the books I mentioned. My son was the same way- and in his case I dealt with it until he was like 15 months old, at which point I decided to night wean him. There were a rough few nights, don't get me wrong. But I did not leave him crying alone, I just roughed it and got extremely little sleep and soothed/patted him back to sleep. At least he knew I was there, even though I wouldn't give him what he wanted. I then gradually daytime weaned him from there, finishing by 19 months. If you are ready to do the night weaning prior to that, I do think that book will help a lot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welovetoread Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 http://kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/index.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 At only 8 months old, I still firmly believe in attachment parenting. I let my babies nurse to sleep. When DD#1 was 8 months, she entered the stage that your dc is in. The Ergo carrier was the best thing I purchased at that point in time. I wore her all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Occasionally Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I wouldn't call that a mistake. It's okay to hold or nurse your baby to sleep. I am not a fan of letting a baby, especially say one and under, CIO, and I would never let a baby/toddler/child of any age cry alone for two hours. That's way too long. Have you tried reading the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? She has one for infants and one for toddlers and I HIGHLY recommend reading them. :iagree: And I'll second recommending this book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misty Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I wouldn't call that a mistake. It's okay to hold or nurse your baby to sleep. :iagree: I am not a fan of letting a baby, especially say one and under, CIO, and I would never let a baby/toddler/child of any age cry alone for two hours. That's way too long. Have you tried reading the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? She has one for infants and one for toddlers and I HIGHLY recommend reading them. :iagree: This book saved my life! Best book I've ever read on the subject of sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 http://kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/index.html Ah, yes, and I wish I would have also thought to recommend this site...it's a FANTASTIC resource and very supportive of and knowledgeable about pretty much any breastfeeding issue! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredmommyof8 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 :grouphug: All I can offer is a hug. Our baby is 9 months old and she won't sleep unless she is attached to the . We don't even have a crib any more. I haven't had real sleep in years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 :grouphug: All I can offer is a hug. Our baby is 9 months old and she won't sleep unless she is attached to the . We don't even have a crib any more. I haven't had real sleep in years. LOL love the smiley! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaCoop04 Posted September 8, 2011 Author Share Posted September 8, 2011 Thanks so much for all the replies!! I'm certainly going to check out the book and website recommended. I also appreciate those who replied letting me know that I'm not the only mom out there with an older infant who's still not sleeping through the night, b/c sometimes it sure feels like it. I also don't want you to think I let him CIO for 2 hours all the time, it was once and it shocked me that he did it for actually 2 hours without falls asleep. I do let him give it a good go though before I go get him. I do co sleep and I'm feeling like that was the beginning of the problem. This is the first babe I've done that with, and I know it's convenient (and sweet most of the time) but my sleep is constantly getting interupted. We do have a crib though that I'm attempting to use for naps and when he falls asleep while nursing before bed. Off to do some reseach from the sources recommended and to reread the replies to see what I'll do first :) Thanks again!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 The youngest son had a lot of trouble sleeping. We co-slept for most of his first year but he woke up so much at night. He didn't sleep through the night until he was 18 months old (or older). We finally found out when he was 3 years old that he had acid reflux (along with some other GI issues). I realized then that his sleep issues were probably due to acid reflux that I just didn't recognize at the time. Your baby may not have acid reflux so that may not be any help at all. I just thought I would throw it out there. I know how hard it is to be sleep deprived. I hope you get some sleep soon! God Bless, Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firestar Academy Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 attached to the . :lol::lol::lol::w00t::svengo: robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I am not anti-CIO though I'm not for just letting the scream endlessly. You need to put yourself, your rest, your sanity first or you won't be able to care for any of your kids. We had a terrible sleeper and I was actually an ultra-attachment-parent at the time but there were days where I was so sleep deprived, so exhausted, I physically could not move a few times when he was howling and he too could go 2+ hours just screaming, screaming, screaming, not even crying, just shrieking. Even with heavy duty co sleeping and comforting that kid would not sleep, and even the times we inadvertently did CIO due to near comatose exhaustion, he didn't sleep either! I wish I could give you some better advice, but the only advice I would give my younger self would be to make my own sleep a priority. I am no longer "AP" like that and wouldn't hesitate to use CIO if I needed sleep myself, but CIO doesn't work with some kids. There really are babies who need to cry for a few minutes before they fall asleep, but for the ones who simply can't sleep it's a whole different ballgame. One thing I can suggest are white noisemakers, both for you, baby, and the other kids, which might help you sleep. We used them around the clock sometimes. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 The youngest son had a lot of trouble sleeping. We co-slept for most of his first year but he woke up so much at night. He didn't sleep through the night until he was 18 months old (or older). We finally found out when he was 3 years old that he had acid reflux (along with some other GI issues). I realized then that his sleep issues were probably due to acid reflux that I just didn't recognize at the time. Your baby may not have acid reflux so that may not be any help at all. I just thought I would throw it out there. I know how hard it is to be sleep deprived. I hope you get some sleep soon! God Bless, Elise in NC I don't know if you will see this now, but if so, how was it finally diagnosed? My baby is the same way, cosleeps, but wakes often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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