ProudGrandma Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 my daughter is friends with a sweet girl who comes from a pretty rough home situation. (her parents are divorced, there are 3 kids who are shuffled around quite a bit...the mom is a real of work....she had 3 kids with 3 different men and is married to a 4th...there is more...but I won't go there....)....anyway. My dd wants her friend over for a sleepover for her birthday, which I think is great. But what I am concerned about is what do we do or say if she is invited over to her friends house for a sleepover. I have never been to her home, so I don't know how the house it kept or what kinds of activites are allowed (TV shows etc) or what kind of supervision there would be. If this invitation were to happen, what is a good way to help my daughter understand why she couldn't go and what is a polite way to decline that won't give the impression that "another date would be better." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 nobody has any suggestions for me...:001_unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I suggest that you don't allow the birthday sleepover in the first place. That way you won't have to offend the girl or her mother when you don't allow your child to sleepover at their house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 We agreed when the children were born that we would not be allowing sleepovers my husband feels very firm in this. No one should question you on it just state it firmly. I don't allow sleepovers period that way no kid can say well she stays over so and sos. Just say no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 We agreed when the children were born that we would not be allowing sleepovers my husband feels very firm in this. No one should question you on it just state it firmly. I don't allow sleepovers period that way no kid can say well she stays over so and sos. Just say no. __________________ :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucyfan70 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 We have been in a similar situation and my daughter knows that her friend is allowed at our house anytime but that my daughter isn't allowed at her friends house....it is a bad situation. I've explained to my daughter why and she realizes and understands the reasoning behind our saying no. My daughter has told her friend and her friend totally understands also. My girls love sleepovers but we are very paticular about where they go...mainly they go to their grandmothers house and that is it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 We had sleepovers for a while, and return sleepovers, and finally just decided they are in the Not Worth It Category. So we instituted the "We Are DONE With Sleepovers Rule." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 We do a "'play late". They get together and play until 11 or 12 (and it can be a pajama party too) but we don't do sleepovers unless its family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 This board is so anti-sleepover. Sigh. Let her have the sleepover. If you get the return invite at some point, I'd personally cross that bridge when you come to it. Or just steel yourself to say no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 This board is so anti-sleepover. Sigh. Let her have the sleepover. If you get the return invite at some point, I'd personally cross that bridge when you come to it. Or just steel yourself to say no. :iagree: What's with all the anti-sleepoverness? Some of my very fondest memories of my childhood and early teen years involved sleepovers with close friends! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauracolumbus Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 This board is so anti-sleepover. Sigh. Let her have the sleepover. If you get the return invite at some point, I'd personally cross that bridge when you come to it. Or just steel yourself to say no. I agree. The mom may have zero interest in having your dd over. She sounds like she has enough to handle. Besides you can stall around for a while as you make your decision on the reciprocal invite. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 thanks for the different thoughts. It's too late to not have the sleep over happen, she already has asked her friend. So I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens afterward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 thanks for the different thoughts. It's too late to not have the sleep over happen, she already has asked her friend. So I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens afterward. You can always say you've changed your policy. We don't do sleepovers anymore...if it ever comes up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 This board is so anti-sleepover. Sigh. Let her have the sleepover. If you get the return invite at some point, I'd personally cross that bridge when you come to it. Or just steel yourself to say no. LOL - we allow sleepovers too. Only with 2 certain families so far (both within a block of us) and grandparents and cousins, but if my child had their heart set on a sleepover with a particular child for their birthday, we would likely do it. However, I would also have no problem taking my child aside and telling them why they could not sleep over at the other child's house. Just saying you don't allow your child to sleep in a house you haven't been in should be good enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeekingHim77 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 We don't do sleepovers much here either. My son has spent the night with 1 friend whose family goes to our church and I respect them very much. He's 16 and only stayed with them 5 times. My 9 year old daughter hasn't slept over with anyone yet. When I was a kid, we got in the most trouble at sleepovers-watching things we shouldn't have, sneaking out, etc. I also had some bad experiences that one wouldn't talk about on a forum like this. Also, we have very high family standards and I choose not to put my children in a situation where the standards may not be in agreement with ours. We're big on family get togethers-where whole families hang out together instead of dropping our kids off with one another. :001_smile: They can play together all day-why do they need to sleep together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 thanks for the different thoughts. It's too late to not have the sleep over happen, she already has asked her friend. So I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens afterward. I would just handle as it comes. With all that going on in the girl's home, they may never ask for your dd to come over. If so, then think of a reason to turn the invite around and have her dd back to your house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 My dd has sleep issues, she sleep walks and is not allowed to go to other people's homes for sleep overs. Her friends can spend the night here, but she can not go there. Now I will be honest she doesn't sleep well often, but it is a good excuse for her not to go. No child/family has ever had a problem with this. We have fun sleepovers, and the kids want to come back so again not a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Let her have the sleepover. If you get the return invite at some point, I'd personally cross that bridge when you come to it. Or just steel yourself to say no. This is what I would do too. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zookeeper Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 :iagree: What's with all the anti-sleepoverness? Some of my very fondest memories of my childhood and early teen years involved sleepovers with close friends! Well, I won't tell you what some of my "fondest" memories of sleepovers are, but needless to say, we don't do them either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Sleepovers always happen at our house. I think other families are happy that someone else is willing to do all the work! As others have said, there might not be an invitation and if there is you are allowed to say 'no'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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