If you had it to do over again...

[Donna T.]

What would you do differently? Which programs would you use? What age would you start things like latin?

 

Well, I get to start over in a way because I'll have a first grader this coming year.

 

I won't be taking myself nearly as seriously. I won't require as much written work. I will require more oral narration. I won't teach spelling or grammar until fourth grade. I will teach less history and more art, literature, and music appreciation. I will use less curriculi (as in prepared, purchased products) overall. I will count nature walks, visits to antique stores, and helping others as "school". I will start Ambleside Online in 2nd, maybe 3rd, grade instead of 4th. I will be more observant of my children and praise them much more often. I will encourage them to be little boys and not little scholars. I will appreciate their quirks. I'll focus on Latin vocabulary until the age of twelve or thirteen rather than starting with a more grammar based program at eight. I'll read the Bible to them more. I'll be more focused on teaching them to develop desirable habits.

 

That's off the top of my head! Mainly, really, I'm just going to lighten up and trust the process more.

[Kimber]

I'd have purchased a BIG, BIG, BIG white board!

[Guest AnniePat]

I am about to finish our 17th year of our homeschool journey and have been through many life and homeschool experiences in that time. I have also had the privilege of starting over as there is a 10 year gap between the youngest of our elder 3 children (now grown up) and our younger daughters who are almost 10 and almost 12.

 

What would I have done differently? Probably not a thing. I have learnt that I had to go through things to reach the point that I am at now and know that every achievement, every battle with a headstrong child, every tear shed because of a life event, every shared joy, etc are all the Lord's way of teaching me to rest in Him in all things.

 

Have I stayed true to that perfect curriculum - No, I've been there with all the rest of you wonderful curriculum junkies and then some. Have I made mistakes - absolutely. Do I regret any of it - Not at all.

 

Even in the down times when I have cried out to the Lord in absolute despair and life was falling apart several years ago, now I can say loud and clear - I have done the best I could with the knowledge and experience I had at the time. I have not always been confident in my abilities and definitely not always the epitome of the loving homeschool mum, but in the end all I can claim is that I've held onto the Lord all the way through and He is the One who has brought ( sometimes dragged) me through.

 

I thought that when my youngest dd's were born, that I would have the perfect homeschool setup. Well, guess what? I didn't, but I am more relaxed about it now with the realisation that each child is unique and although I have taught my children for a long time, I haven't taught these chidren for a long time and as they grow, I am continuing to grow right along with them.

 

Now that I've written a book on something I feel very passionately about, I'll go and do some of my own study. My dh and I have just begun studying a Psychology degree together externally, I won't get started again, but even your own education can come at a later time when both you and your children are at a point where it is achievable without wiping you out in the process or denying them the time they need.

 

Stopping now, may you all receive many blessings along your journey, enjoy the ride.

 

Anne

[Trivium Academy]

It's posts like these that have helped me tremendously in figuring out what is worth our time, energy and money. I'm grateful for the open sharing of members like you that allow less experienced hslers like me the opportunity to learn from your experience.

 

Thank you!!! :grouphug:

[King Alfred Academy]

My oldest will be an 8th grader in the fall, so I've not yet graduated anyone. My kids have never been in traditional school.

 

At this point, I honestly can't think of what I'd change. Every year just gets better and better. :D The only thing I can say is that I do wish my kids had more unstructured social opportunities, but we just don't have an active homeschool group nearby. I try to solicit feedback from my kids about what they like and don't like each year, and what they would like to learn the following year. I don't always change things, but I try to make them feel like they have a say in the course of their education.

 

Ask me years from now, when they're pursuing their chosen careers (or can't get one! eek!), and we'll see what I think then. :lol:

 

 

Your "unstructured social activities" are headed your way!:D

[JessMcG]

Lol :) Pregnancy teaches patience.

Rosie

 

That and trying to teach a reluctant 5 year old how to play the piano!

[...................]

I took all my favorite quotes from this thread and stuck them on my blog!! I have to re-read them over and over.

[DeeDeeMarie0]

I have been homeschooling my four boys for 5 years. My oldest is 13. I wish I would of had more fun and less structure in the first couple of years of schooling. I wish we would have played more of the many educational games that we have, followed more of their interests (science experiments, astronomy, dinosaurs) instead of just following the curriculum. I wish I would have strayed from the curriculum to find more in depth answers to the many, many questions that they asked each day, and taken more time to just explore nature. I tend to be very task oriented!

[mom2abcd]

I wouldn't stress out so much!

 

I wouldn't be so concerned with what others were doing!

 

I wouldn't buy everything that looked promising!

 

 

I would make first-time, cheerful, obedience my number one priority!

 

I would make more time for outdoor exploration.

 

I would spend more time serving others with my children.

 

 

Ditto on these. (It's good to see you, TarponGirl! Haven't seen you here on the new boards much.)

[hmschoolmom22]

I would have joined these boards and "met" all of you a loooong time ago! gosh, what a blessing this board is!

 

Thank you!!!!:grouphug:

[...................]

Why a big white board? I'm so curious. :bigear:

[Kimber]

Well,

 

After teaching at co-op for a few years, I've learned that I'm a better teacher when I'm standing in front of a classroom with a white board. I'm animated, engaged, and I make eye-contact with the kids. Now I realize this is high school, but I feel like I do my best teaching at co-op rather than at home.

 

I spent so many years trying to be like TWTM, trying to be like CM, and neither of them fit me. I like to snuggle with my kids, but to be honest, the thought of doing school snuggled up together stresses me out to the hilt. I am not a touchy feely person. I need eye-contact, lots and lots of eye contact.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm all over my kids all day long. I loved rocking in the rocking chair and reading to them for hours at a time, but that's just all of the time. That's just being lovey dovey, and I do like doing that with my kids too. It just that it doesn't give me the eye contact I need when teaching.

 

I remember a program on some news show like 20/20 where two men and two women were put in a room together, and consistently the women sat across from each other and the men sat side to side. I'm a sit across from you, look you in the face, eye to eye kind of person. And I feel as if I've cheated my children out of the best part of me by trying to be so CMish. I actually felt guilty for not teaching the CM way, then I felt guilty for not teaching my way.

 

And what really encourages me to change, is that I have a son who loves to be touched but can't stand to be confined by hugs too much. When he lays next to me, he likes to lay by my legs or to hug me. And he's a big picture kid, and so is my youngest son. I think pre-school will be much more fun and engaging if we're all standing up, being active, and having fun rather than snuggled up on a couch.

 

Btw, I love CM's ideas. I keep trying to implement some of them because they seem so beneficial to children. One of my favorite books is "For the Children's Sake", by I simply have to start doing what works for me and my kids.

 

Kimberly

 

I don't want to be a better teacher at co-op than I am at home anymore. This realization about myself has made me very sad.

[BlueGator]

We read a lot!!!

 

But, if I had to do it again

 

1. We would have memorized more Bible Verses and history information like the US Presidents.
   
2. I would have him "play" with Rosetta Stone for 5 min a day in the early years.
   
3. I would have included fine arts with the SoTW earlier.
   
4. I would have taken ds on more nature hikes and have kept a journal.
   
5. I would trust myself more!

We went to museums so much! It is one of my ds's favorite things to do. That I would not change.

 

I would be more realistic about these time constraints.

 

1. We all have so many hours a weekday to do school.
   
2. Most of us have to do laundry, shopping, cooking, library runs and extra curricular activities.
   
3. Most of are married and our dhs need time and attention.

 

[Colleen in NS]

I have learnt that I had to go through things to reach the point that I am at now....the Lord's way of teaching me to rest in Him in all things.

 

I have done the best I could with the knowledge and experience I had at the time.

 

...as they grow, I am continuing to grow right along with them.

 

My dh and I have just begun studying a Psychology degree together....but even your own education can come at a later time when both you and your children are at a point where it is achievable without wiping you out in the process or denying them the time they need.

 

Your entire post was SOOOO encouraging to me.

 

I picked out parts of it here, just to show you what stood out the most to me. I believe that God used your post to affirm some thoughts of mine in my family/homeschooling/self-educating journey. To keep going in the path that I believe is laid out before me, and to trust that He will help me keep the balance. I'm really enjoying the process of giving my kids the skills (that I never received) of learning for a lifetime, so that they can get a satisfying education. I just get discouraged sometimes by outside circumstances/opinions and think, "oh, I shouldn't be so passionate about this." But, dh and I are in complete agreement about this journey, so that is very helpful.

 

And your post was a much needed boost today. Thank you!

[Peela]

5 years of homeschooling.

I would have started from the beginning (like, birth!) instead of not trusting my instincts and putting them in school.

I would do, I think, a Waldorf style education in the first few years. Lots of art and hands on activities,crafts, songs, games. Ha, I say that, but its always been hard for me to do that.I am more of a read aloud on the couch mum, but I do love their crafts. I would teach reading earlier than Waldorf does, though. A mixture between Waldorf and CM would be ideal.

I would use SOTW.

I would read lots aloud as I did anyway.

I would do lots more field trips when they were young.

I would have daily rhythm and structure...but we always have.

I would probably do similar to what we are doing now for the early teen years...literature based, CMish, academic but not driven, still relaxed, still a good lifestyle.

If my kids, given a wholesome start and never sent to school, showed a tendency toward 'natural learning',self driven and motivated, I might go down that path more than I have done. I am not sure.

[Another Lynn]

Well,

 

After teaching at co-op for a few years, I've learned that I'm a better teacher when I'm standing in front of a classroom with a white board. I'm animated, engaged, and I make eye-contact with the kids. Now I realize this is high school, but I feel like I do my best teaching at co-op rather than at home.

 

I spent so many years trying to be like TWTM, trying to be like CM, and neither of them fit me. I like to snuggle with my kids, but to be honest, the thought of doing school snuggled up together stresses me out to the hilt. I am not a touchy feely person. I need eye-contact, lots and lots of eye contact.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm all over my kids all day long. I loved rocking in the rocking chair and reading to them for hours at a time, but that's just all of the time. That's just being lovey dovey, and I do like doing that with my kids too. It just that it doesn't give me the eye contact I need when teaching.

 

I remember a program on some news show like 20/20 where two men and two women were put in a room together, and consistently the women sat across from each other and the men sat side to side. I'm a sit across from you, look you in the face, eye to eye kind of person. And I feel as if I've cheated my children out of the best part of me by trying to be so CMish. I actually felt guilty for not teaching the CM way, then I felt guilty for not teaching my way.

 

And what really encourages me to change, is that I have a son who loves to be touched but can't stand to be confined by hugs too much. When he lays next to me, he likes to lay by my legs or to hug me. And he's a big picture kid, and so is my youngest son. I think pre-school will be much more fun and engaging if we're all standing up, being active, and having fun rather than snuggled up on a couch.

 

Btw, I love CM's ideas. I keep trying to implement some of them because they seem so beneficial to children. One of my favorite books is "For the Children's Sake", by I simply have to start doing what works for me and my kids.

 

Kimberly

 

I don't want to be a better teacher at co-op than I am at home anymore. This realization about myself has made me very sad.

 

I'm SO glad you shared this. I'm not touchy-feely all the time either and this really made sense to me. BTW, I think the idea of a CM education being all cozied up on the couch has come more from some of her "reinterpreters" than from her original ideas :).

 

Honestly, your post really clicked with me!:thumbup:

[Cindy in AR]

Good question. I've only been doing this a few years so I am interested to hear what others say. Although each family and each child is different and so there is no "right" way.

[Handmaiden]

I would pray more and worry less.

[Kate CA]

What would you do differently? Which programs would you use? What age would you start things like latin?

I blogged about this a few years ago in a series titled:

 

Ten things we wish we believed about homeschooling when we first started. The rest of the series is in the right sidebar. :)

[jejily]

This has been a great thread. As someone new to this, I am encouraged.

 

Zee, I'm especially encouraged by your post, as I've spent the last couple months running around like a headless chicken, trying to find the *perfect* curriculum, and not really getting anywhere! I keep trying to find ways to "supplement" what I've got planned for next year, and it's making me crazy! I need to slow it down, try using what I have "as is" -- I might be pleasantly surprised!

 

 

If I had it to do over again... I would have homeschooled ALL my kids.

[Karen in CO]

My oldest graduated this year and my next to homeschool just finished first so I am sort of doing it again. My poor middle child is suffering from the lessons I learned with her brother.

 

The biggest things that apply from one child to the next is more reading, more writing and more math - along with more free-play of course. I learned that no body sells something that will teach my kids - that is my job. I learned that I teach better if I know the material better, so self-education is the key.

 

As a direct result of teaching my ds, I am going to be working my way back through algebra and up to calculus. Knowing how to do it is apparently much easier than teaching someone else. I will also be doing the R level of TOG this year as my dd goes through the LG level. It will be good to have a refresher on the history, it has been a very long time since I was in high school.

 

My big lesson from hindsight:

Enjoy the time you have with your kids and make sure that the school you are creating is one that you would want your kids to attend.

[8filltheheart]

make sure that the school you are creating is one that you would want your kids to attend.

 

 

I absolutely love that line. :)

[Katrina]

I haven't read any of the replies, but here's what I'd do differently: (I'm not going to list math or English because I'd keep those the same.)

 

1st and 2nd grade, I'd use Galloping the Globe and FIAR. These programs are so much FUN and it's just too hard trying to do them while also doing SOTW, at least for me anyway. NO SCIENCE OR HISTORY!!! I'd also focus on basics: math, english, reading, and spelling in an age approprate way. (okay, maybe nature studies for science.)

 

3rd through 6th, SOTW volumes 1-4, also I'd pick out some fun science experiement books. I'd probably stick to doing Biology in one year, chemistry in one year, etc, per WTM, but I wouldn't let myself stress out over it. I think concrete, hands on experiments at this age help solidify ideas rather than reading and doing worksheets about abtract ideas. I would also work on narrations, which I didn't do when they were younger and now I wish I had. Latin in 4th with Lively Latin.

 

Can't say for 7th and 8th because this is where my oldest is, but we're using TRISMS now, and this is a good time to start. You could do one year of solid US history and start TRISMS in 8th.

[hisleading]

soooo encouraging! I am taking mental notes! :bigear:

[Mommy22alyns]

I am reading every bit of this too! :bigear:

[covenant.christian]

if I could start over again, not only would I not teach logic, I would not worry so much about keeping up with others over curriculum. Sometimes it was hard to realize that I could not be like everyone else.

 

The reason I would not teach logic is because I did not find a benefit to it later. That is jsut my experience.

[angelique]

We've been homeschooling for 11 years now and I wish that we would have just stuck with WTM recommendations when I first read it way back when my oldest was going into 3rd grade (now an-up-and-coming senior) We followed that for awhile, then deviated and played curriuculum hop-scotch. Now we use TRISMS with IEW, Saxon math, Apologia science, an eclectic mix of language arts (which I hope to remedy soon), and other sundry bits and pieces.

My biggest problem in deviating was that I fell victim to the "grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side" syndrome. If we ran into a bit of difficulty or a bump in the road, I would ditch a whole curriculum and try the next big thing everyone was raving about. We have used 5 math programs (not including supplements), ten history programs (mostly unit studies with one venture into the world of traditional history textbooks, yuk), two Latin programs, 3 spelling, 3 grammar and I forget how many science programs. I have more books than I know what to do with and can't bear to part with many of them because, well, I hope to have grandkids someday....

First, self-education is paramount. It would be better to not do any academics (except maybe math and reading) while mom takes the time to do some research, figure out what you and your children's strengths and weaknesses are (be brutal on this), set priorities, set short and long range goals for school and life in general, then develop a plan to reach those goals. When you know exactly where you want your kids (and yourself) to be in a year, five years and on graduation day, and have a general plan on how to get there, then curriculum choices are greatly narrowed.

Second, if what you are using is working, leave well enough alone. Don't fall prey to the mindset that some great new curriculum that your homeschooling friend has discovered "might" work better than what you are already using. It probably won't, you will waste time and money and this will lead to the dreaded "gaps" in your children's education that everyone fears. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Unfortuantely, this has had another side effect in our family. While my dh supports my homeschooling efforts, he has no interest in it anymore because in his words, "I can't keep up with what you're doing!" He has never been a "hands-on" homeschool dad, but whenever I try to talk to him about homeschooling now, he really couldn't care less. All he is concerned about is that I give them a good education and won't be bothered with the details.

Third, there will be exceptions. If you have several children homeschooling, what works for most may not work for one. Maybe what you are using just needs some creative tweaking, no one ever said curriculum instructions were set in stone: go at a faster or slower pace, add more hands-on activities, find supplements, take supplements away, whatever works. I have found that it's not usually the curriculum at fault but simply the way it is presented or expected to be done. For example, when we used MathUSee Pre-Algebra for my oldest he didn't mind the lessons but hated using the manipulatives. At first I tried to make him comply, to show me with the manipulatives that he understood the concept before working on paper, but this was frustrating for him because he truly didn't need them. We watched the video together and concepts "clicked" right away. Using the manipulatives just slowed him down.

You bought it, so don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, rather, tweak to your hearts content! I promise that no one will beat you over the head with a stick berating you for deviating from the norm.

Fourth, enjoy every moment, even the difficult ones, because it will go by so much faster than you could possibly imagine.

[tinkgumby]

Wow. Thanks to all those who have replied to this thread. I'm at the beginning of my homeschooling journey, and I've learned a lot from reading this! (I'm especially taking to heart those who have suggested not spending so much time looking for the "perfect" curriculum and using what you have.) :001_smile:

[Rhondabee]

Kate, this was very helpful. Thanks!

[Kate CA]

Kate, this was very helpful. Thanks!

 

You are most welcome! :)

[Kim in SouthGa]

and more about training-first time obedience, chores, serving others. I would take more field trips. I would let them get out the clay and paint and make a mess every day. I would make singing God's praise a daily event by learning hymns. I would not change math and reading programs everytime the "grass looks greener"!!!

[littleleadvillelady]

I would try my best not to get caught up in the things that keep me from my true goal which is to raise kids who love God. He knows exactly who they are because He created them. I wish I had followed His direction more instead of getting caught up in the curriculum search. I have purchased many things that did not work for my children because it did not work with the person that He created them to be. I am so easily duped by things that are supposed to be the 'best' on the market and I forget that that might not mean they are the best for us. My goal this year is to buy only what we will actually use and avoid my usual pitfalls by seeking Him and purchasing things that honor Him and His creation (my children and me as a their teacher).

[JessMcG]

I learned that no body sells something that will teach my kids - that is my job. I

 

Great way to sum that point up!

[LanaTron]

One thing I remember (I think it was Susan, repeating what her mother had told her?) is that she, Jessie, would make sure that the sibling relationships were going in the right direction. There were some issues between the youngest child and the older two, that they are having to work out as adults.

 

I can say that this made a huge impact on me. I am an only child, and although I can appreciate the benefits of this, I have always longed for a sibling, especially as an adult. I spend quite a bit of time making sure my dc have right relationships with each other, because I want them to have each other as friends when they are adults. Dh and I always stress how they will always have each other, so to be kind to each other now.

 

I mean, when they are grown, the need to be able to talk to each other about how badly I messed them up! :lol:

[HFClassicalAcademy]

Our homeschooling journey is 2 years old. It began with preschool and just ended with kindergarten. We'll be starting 1st grade (and K for younger dd) in about a week.

 

If I knew then what I know now...I would not have done MFW K this past year. It is a great program but doesn't mesh with my personality. I kept altering it until the program was so butchered (I kept adding, taking away, etc.) that it wasn't even MFW anymore!!

 

I would have enrolled also with Angelicum Academy from the start.

 

We'll see what happens this year!

 

Liz

[Tiffani]

Have I stayed true to that perfect curriculum - No, I've been there with all the rest of you wonderful curriculum junkies and then some. Have I made mistakes - absolutely. Do I regret any of it - Not at all.

 

 

 

This is so great! I'm reading a lot of people saying "they wouldn't have used such-n-such curriculum....but who knows what was going to work.

 

I completely agree w/ you....I don't regret the "mistakes" I've made over the past 8 years either!

 

We have to "find" what works. You don't walk into a car dealorship and just pick one...you drive it and research and drive some more.

 

Yes, I've "tried the grass on the other side" too! And those were honest to goodness mistakes. But other changes I've made through the years have just been a form of self-discovery. How do you know what will work w/ you and your dc if you don't try. I should've used more wisdom a couple of times (like when it caused us to go in debt a coupel of thousand $$ b/c I KNEW this one was it :)) but other than that, you do have to try things out.

 

Just my take!

Tiffani