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Have you ever gotten to the end of the day and realized


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that you were a wretched person the entire day? We have had a horrible week here, and I think I reached my breaking point today. After a week that included a 911 call, ambulance ride, epipen rx, a mystery allergy/virus, and then another kid in respiratory distress yesterday diagnosed with asthma vs. pneumonia vs. both in addition to strep throat, steroids, antibiotics, and breathing treatments, you can stick a fork in me. I am done. I haven't slept all night since last Sunday. I'm barely awake, but I'm also having a hard time going to sleep because I'm nervous and guilt-ridden.

 

And this week we are supposed to start school. But we already have an appointment at the allergist for Anna tomorrow to try and figure out this allergy thing, and Emma is going to have to follow up with either her pediatrician or allergist about the possibility of an asthma diagnosis. And she has now had strep throat 5 times in 18 months, so we will be visiting an ENT to talk about a T&A. ARGH!!!

 

I screamed at my children multiple times today. It was so bad I reminded myself of my severely mentally ill aunt who has been known to rage for days. Anna went on an hour long rampage about how she can do whatever she wants and shouldn't have to answer to anyone, and I laughed at her. I mean full blown belly laughed at her. I feel horrid, but really, I was tempted to tie her to her bed, so I think laughing was better. I called my husband a dumb*ss. Granted he was being one, but that wasn't nice. I locked the cat out of the room where the litterbox is and then got mad because poor kitty peed on a pillowcase. I forgot to feed the snake this week, and we are out of his food. The bad part of that is that I don't care. I let my kids eat popsicles and chocolate chip cookies for dinner.

 

Sorry for another vent. I've been full of pathetic posts lately. Thanks for being my friends and listening. Or just putting me on ignore and not blasting me too hard.

 

BTW, I apologized to my kids, my husband, the cat, and the snake.

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Well I didn't do anything bad today. But i didn't do anything at all.

 

My dh worked from 1am to 630am, slept a few hours then was awake all day. He even went grocery shopping. Right now he is lying down beside our youngest who can't fall asleep. But dh isn't allowed to fall asleep since he has some more work to do at 1130.

 

To my credit all he did with the boys all day was play computer games, or have them watch him play computer games. Something was up with the weather or something and i woke up with the worst knee pain i had in years.

 

Im not even sure what my kids had to eat today besides a lot of frozen peas and some peanut butter and jam toast.

 

But I did watch almost 3 movies today. Mind you none of them were very good.

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yes, we've all done it to one extent or another. And guess what? Tomorrow is a new day, Sweetie! You can start ALL OVER again!!! Today will be a distant memory soon. Your family will forgive you and you will forgive yourself.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your week. What a TORTUOUS week!!!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Be kind to yourself, apologize where necessary, then try again. That's all one can do! And I have walked in your shoes MANY times myself.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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Sometimes courage is saying, "I'll try again tomorrow". You've had a traumatic week. Cut yourself some slack. It's good you apologized. I'm glad you posted this because sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who loses it. I can hear myself yelling and I'm telling myself, "Ya know, you really sound bat sh*t crazy. Stop yelling." Sometimes I just can't.

Hang in there. It'll get better.

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Oh, honey.... :grouphug:

 

We are so much alike, no? I, too, have been the Wicked Witch of the Midwest today. While I didn't yell at a feline or reptile I yelled at everybody but the dog tonight.

 

Your kids will remember the passion with which you dealt with life.....as well as your willingness to apologize. :001_smile:

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:grouphug:

 

You're dealing with a ton. Sometimes it can help to think what you'd say to someone else in your situation. Would you tell them they were behaving terribly, or would you say we've all been there. Hang in there and try again. I find I'm kinder to that other person than to myself on occasion.

 

Hope you get some answers, rest, and peace this week.

:grouphug:

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:grouphug: I've been there. It's okay. Not great. Maybe not even acceptable, but okay. If you understand my meaning. You are human. You're allowed to have a breaking point. And yes, laughing at your dd instead of tying her to the bed is better.:)

 

Hey, at least you apologized.

 

One thing, I would think delaying school a few days or a week until you get yourself back is preferable than trying to jump in just because you've got it scheduled that way.

 

Be kind to yourself. And remember....always strap yourself into your seat first and then attend to your children.

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[\QUOTE] BTW, I apologized to my kids, my husband, the cat, and the snake.

 

I just have to say that a) I really feel for you because it sounds like a truly terrible week, and

b) I'm sorry but the last line of your post made me laugh so hard I almost spit coffee on the keyboard.

 

Everyone has days where they rage, at least everyone I know. Sounds like you had just cause. Hope this week is muuuuuuch better. :grouphug:

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