swellmomma Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 :glare: So I just talked to my sister on the phone. For the last 5 years of homeschooling, my mom and my XH have been vocal enough about their disapproval of hsing. So I rarely talk to them about it. Just the other night my XH claimed the kids could not go to bible camp next week because we started school ths past Monday. Umm nope, doesn't work that way. Anyway, usually I can talk to my sister about it at least. She teaches high school subjects to adults who did not finish them in high school for whatever reason and fully supports the ps system, but as my sister she usually at least listened to me about hsing. Until today that is. The conversation today started innocently enough, with me laughing about XH's comment. It spiralled quickly after that. She doesn't get how ds is too mild disabilities for ps but too severe for the homeschool program I wanted him in. I don't get it either but basically it falls in line with everything else I have tried to make happen for him, he is just the kid that falls through the cracks kwim. So she asked about putting him in ps anyway, even though we have already been told he will not have supports in place and likely will not get any before xmas, just to see how he does and when xmas comes he will finally get supports. I said there was no way I was playing russian roullette with his future. It has taken my 5 LONG hard years to get him to where he is not jsut academically but mentally too. I will not risk him backsliding and go back to the place of suicide thoughts and antidepressants because he feels too stupid for school (that was the last straw that had me start homeschooling him at age 7 in the first place). SO I take the time to explain to her why I am not willing to put him in, what I have already done to find him a program or supports that would help his education, why I feel homeschooling is the best option for him. I was very calm and respectful about this. Her response : "Public school even with no supports for his disabilities has got to be better for him than homeschooling at least then he can make friends" Umm, what?? He is around other kids all the time, and in registered programs etc, it's not like I lock him up and prevent him from making friends. He has troubles with social skills because of his disabilities. When he was in ps before he was worse that he is now. IF I put him in ps it would be for academic reasons, and without supports in place that is not going to happen. SHe said she figures that if he is placed in a regular class with no supports he will have no choice but to catch up, so it would be better for him. again, what?? He is below grade level because of disabilities not laziness. He is working at his pace at his level and progressing everyday. That's all I can and will ask of him. I tell her this, she says "there is plenty of kids who are in ps and below grade level without supports, they graduate just fine" NO THEY DON'T, you are teaching them now as adults how to do grade 10-11 math, how to write etc. How can anyone think that tossing your kid in the system without help/supports particularily when they have disabilities that hinder their performance in academics and socially is just fine??? I get that she plans to put her ds into ps, that is her choice, but don't tell me to toss away my child's future because other kids are just fine not actually learning at grade level. Or that putting a child with disabilities without services is okay for him or for the other students in the class. If you got that far, thanks for listening. I have now added my sister to my "do not talk about homeschooling" list I am starting to run out of topics to talk about with her and my mom. I am so glad I have internet again and can come on here to talk to you ladies and read all you have to say, because I am out of irl people to talk to about homeschooling. It kind of sucks not having that, but I am so thankful I can turn to this site to get my boost/inspiration etc to keep on this path with conviction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Frankly, it sounds like she was out of line. Your kid - your call. And yes, I agree with you - sending a kid into PS without support when you already know he has specific needs would probably be a big mistake. I'm sorry you had to listen to that today. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: It's really hard when people we love don't share our vision. It's also hard when they just seem stoopid.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I think you're right not to talk to her. Not only does she not seem supportive but she IS a PS teacher and may be taking some of what you say personally. It might be a tough subject for her to navigate with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I'm sorry. Some people just can't get out of the box no matter how obvious it is that the box won't fit.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarenM Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I am sorry you had to go through that. Sometimes people just see things do different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eewaggie99 Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Sometimes people say things without truly understanding the situation. So sorry your sister said something so thoughtless. If your son is in a better place mentally with YOU, no one should question your schooling situation. Sending good thoughts your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 :grouphug:I'm so sorry. But you are right, she is wrong. A child's safety (wanting to commit suicide) definitely trumps making friends at PS. Being able to work with his disabilities and go at his level trumps making friends at PS. Don't doubt yourself, you know best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grace'smom Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: It's hard when it's your own family against homeschooling, and it's also hard when you have a child that doesn't fit into any particular box. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Yes, come here and talk to us. Many of us don't have anyone to talk to about homeschooling either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 she says "there is plenty of kids who are in ps and below grade level without supports, they graduate just fine" Oh boy. :001_rolleyes: :grouphug: It's upsetting when we can't talk to those we are closest to, about something that is so important to us. My sister was a teacher (I was too), she taught K, middle school reading, and she's a reading specialist. I would love to talk to her about all the stuff we're doing, all the great curriculum, get her input, etc. She refuses to talk about it. She's never said anything bad, it's just "pass the bean dip" turned back on me. Whenever I bring up what we're doing, she changes the subject. It makes me sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Wow, because having those ps friends will cure everything, right? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Oh wow. She was so out of line! :grouphug: I'm sorry you had to deal with that kind of garbage from someone you love :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I am sorrry. It is so hard when people you love aren't supportive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 :grouphug: Wouldn't you love to see her picture of what homeschooling must look like to her. All of you sitting around in super nerdy clothes working out of boring workbooks, never leaving the house... I think people have such crazy pictures of homeschooling. You know what it best for your child. Remember that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amydavis Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 So sorry you had to listen to that! It's so hard when people you love are so narrow-minded and uninformed. I've been through some of that, too. You know what is best for your children...period. Scratch this topic off of the list with your sister, and pass the bean dip as needed. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 They don't know any better...ignorance is veiled as knowledge in some circles...just let it go and stick to your guns about 'not discussing' this topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 :grouphug: She's clueless. Don't discuss homeschooling with her ever again, period. Let her know the topic is off limits if she is ever the one to bring it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 :grouphug: The fact that there would be barely any support for my son with autism is the reason we chose homeschooling. :glare: I went to a convention a few years ago where an international expert on autism presented her research findings. Children with disabilities (autism in particular) learn best in a one on one setting or as close to that ratio as possible. She did not mention homeschooling, but advocated this ratio in traditional schools. Sorry, but that is never going to happen in the majority of public schools; it will only happen in exclusive and very expensive specialized schools. As I listened to her I realized that I was giving my son (and his sisters) the best ratio possible. Hang in there . . . it is so hard when loved ones questions or criticize our personal choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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