Am I insane? - homeschooling friend's high functioning autistic son

[Qcaller]

At our adult Sunday school class I asked for prayers for our family in terms of employment situation. DH is working too many hours and getting stressed out. I need to go back to work part-time to ease the burden but I still want to homeschool so need to find the perfect schedule. Another mom joked that she would pay me to homeschool her son.

 

After church she stopped me and said she was actually kind of serious. She explained that her son was autistic but high-functioning. He is one year older than my daughter. She said he was getting lost in public school and needed more individual attention. I haven't met her son so don't know anything else about him.

 

ETA: The mom, a neonatal intensive care nurse, is the primary income earner and benefits provider for the family. It is not feasible for her to quit full-time work to homeschool.

 

Of course, I'll need to double check the laws in Missouri but I'm fairly sure it is legal for him to be homeschooled by a non-family member outside the home so long as certain other conditions are met.

 

Am I crazy to consider this?

 

If we proceed, how much should I charge? There is a nearby Waldorf type private school that charges $500 a month. Does that seem reasonable for this situation? Should I go lower for not being an accredited private school? Should I go higher because of more one-on-one attention?

 

This feels like God dropping a perfect opportunity in my lap but when I told my mom about the autism part she looked at me like I was crazy.

 

ACK, head spinning here. Please share your wisdom on things I should consider as we contemplate this.

 

TIA

Pam

Edited June 27, 2011 by Qcaller
explain mom's situation better

[2cents]

I'd recommend that before committing to anything at all, you start spending a lot of time with the young man to see if you are compatible. Work in a lot of situations that would replicate a learning environment as well. If you decide to go for it, make sure all the learning goals and behavior expectations are mutually agreed upon.

[Carrie12345]

Absolutely get to know him before even hinting at an agreement. My aspie is fabulous, but hsing him is an intense experience!

[BatmansWife]

I don't have much advice. I know that for me.....I wouldn't. Only because I'd be concerned that I'd have to be spending one on one with someone elses child and my own children would probably get a bit neglected. I'm not sayin' you'd neglect your own kids....I'm just sayin' that it might be hard for them because they would now have to share mom. Just something to think about. I guess you could always do it on a trial basis and see. I wouldn't have a clue how much to charge. It's hard to have a part time job outside the home too though. I've been trying to sell online, myself.

[Orthodox6]

I can't field the portion about whether or not you should teach someone else's child, other than to agree that you must check out the state laws governing same.

 

I would, however, find out what your friend means by the phrase "high functioning autism." To my everlasting and great irritation, this silly phrase keeps being slapped on Asperger's people. My Asperger's son is nearly indistinguishable from the general population, unless one knows what to look for. Equally am I indistinguishable from so-called "normal" people. If your friend is using this euphemism for Asperger's, then her son likely is a good possibility for a student. (Why doesn't your friend homeschool him herself ?, I can't help wondering.)

 

If, however, the phrase means something else in this other family's case, then I would learn as much as you can about his situation, and spend time with the boy before taking on such a responsibility. Teaching anybody one-on-one entails having (or quickly building) a good interpersonal relationship.

 

If his situation is complex, I would not attempt it unless you already have experience with special population students and feel, for whatever reason, genuinely called to do this.

[wapiti]

Besides getting to know him, I'd ask to see a copy of his IEP and testing for LDs. That would probably include a psych's report. HFA can mean a lot of different things to different people. If he was diagnosed by a developmental ped without testing for LDs by a psych, I might suggest that as a first step *if* there are academic concerns (maybe there aren't many academic concerns, and it's more of a behavioral/social thing, or maybe there are a lot of academic concerns). The beauty of hs-ing is the ability to custom-fit the education to the child, and nowhere is that more important than for kids with disparate strengths and weaknesses. You'd need to understand those strengths and weaknesses for him to benefit from the education, and the first place to start would be the report on testing.

 

I'd also post over on the SN board.

 

$500/month sounds like a very reasonable tuition. I think you'd have to consider the amount of effort/hours you'd be putting in and compare that to what you might get in some other part time job, along with balancing the benefit of being able to do this in your home while you're hs-ing your other kids.

[ereks mom]

I'd recommend that before committing to anything at all, you start spending a lot of time with the young man to see if you are compatible. Work in a lot of situations that would replicate a learning environment as well. If you decide to go for it, make sure all the learning goals and behavior expectations are mutually agreed upon.

 

:iagree: And if that works out:

 

Besides getting to know him, I'd ask to see a copy of his IEP and testing for LDs. That would probably include a psych's report. HFA can mean a lot of different things to different people. If he was diagnosed by a developmental ped without testing for LDs by a psych, I might suggest that as a first step *if* there are academic concerns (maybe there aren't many academic concerns, and it's more of a behavioral/social thing, or maybe there are a lot of academic concerns). The beauty of hs-ing is the ability to custom-fit the education to the child, and nowhere is that more important than for kids with disparate strengths and weaknesses. You'd need to understand those strengths and weaknesses for him to benefit from the education, and the first place to start would be the report on testing.

 

 

 

I've homeschooled other children besides my own; this past school year, I taught a 6th grader in addition to my own 10th grader. I knew the child from church and she had visited in my home several times, so I knew her pretty well already. She does have some learning issues that I am trying to address, and I have excellent support from her parents, so overall, it has been a positive experience. I will say this though: in the past when I've homeschooled a child besides my own, he was the same age and grade level as mine, and it was much, much, MUCH easier that way.

 

As for how much to charge: the private schools around here charge around $450-$550 per month. These are fairly large schools with accredited academic programs. While I do have a master's degree in education, and have been certified to teach PreK-8th grade, I am not accredited, and I don't feel that I can charge as much as the more traditional schools. This past year, I charged $300 per month, plus the mom paid me $15 per week for lunches--we have a hot lunch most days.

 

HTH!

Edited June 27, 2011 by ereks mom

[Qcaller]

The mom, a neonatal intensive care nurse, is the primary income earner and benefits provider for the family. It is not feasible for her to quit full-time work to homeschool.

 

The father does not attend church and I don't know much about him.

 

We will definitely do lots of exploring of time with this child before committing to this full-time.

 

Good idea to lay out educational goals and behavioral expectations (as well as consequences) before committing. I like the suggestion of a trial period before going forward. Summer would be a good time for him to participate in activities with us before deciding to officially unenroll from public school.

 

Keep the advice coming.

 

Thanks!

[EKS]

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I find homeschooling my own two children exhausting enough.

 

However, if you do decide to do it, I would look at tuition for special needs schools as well as how much private tutors charge in your area before settling on a fee. I'd also look at what in-home daycare providers charge. If he will be in your care for 6 hours per day, I would consider charging a minimum of $500 per *week*. It is not trivial what this woman is asking you to do.

[kchara]

In some places, homeschools are considered a non-accredited private school. The state basically stays out of your business... BUT, if you start charging tuition, the state starts paying attention. I know this happened in Wyoming to a school we knew. We as homeschoolers were considered on the same "tier" as a private school, so in theory, we should be under the same amount of scrutiny (which was basically none), but, because this particular school was charging tuition, and doing a VERY poor job at educating their students, the state investigated. (We left before we found out the results of the investigation, but we did learn the state could come in and shut them down.) I would *really* investigate the tuition aspect of it, it might take you to a whole new place with the state you don't want to go.

[black_midori]

The biggest problem I can see with a situation like this is that it is comparable to boarding horses (which I do a little of) - you basically can't make the money at it that you would make at a traditional job, so you have to have OTHER incentive that compensates.

 

For instance - I board 1 horse & have 5 of my own. Works out great - I have to do all the work anyway, so it isn't that big a deal to do an extra, and I love horses. However, if I were boarding 5 and owned 1, I'd be making something like $3 an hour for lots of hard work taking care of other people's animals!

 

Say you work 6 hours a day for 5 days a week - 30 hours a week. If you charge $7 an hour (under minimum wage!), that is $210 a week. For 4 weeks, that is $840 a month!!! I seriously doubt you can charge her THAT - so if you charge half that, you are basically making $3.50 an hour. Ugh! There are definitely other considerations - you get to stay home, and school your child, do something that (hopefully) you enjoy...

[ocelotmom]

One thing you may want to point out to the mother is that homeschooling is not required to take place between 8 and 3, M-F, and doesn't usually take as much time as a public school day. If her and her DH are at work at the same time, childcare during that time would still be an issue. But it might be possible to adjust work schedules so that there was little or no overlap (and RN is one of those jobs where there's a lot of flexibility in that regard - there's no "business hours" for RNs).

 

If they do need supervision for him during the day, and you being the primary teacher is problematic legally, you could have the family be the official instructors (take the hour or whatever in the evening that they'd normally spend on homework to do some instruction and go over assignments) and you could provide childcare, including help with homework as needed.

[Laurie]

*Would she expect you to provide before/afterschool care as well?

*Does he have special dietary requirements that would be hard for you to deal with on a daily basis?

*Does he have any toileting issues? (Some children on the spectrum have chronic bowel problems.)

*Field trips...do you ever take your children to museums or even just out for a walk during the school day? If so, would this be difficult for him/for you? My dd can have a difficult time in crowded places and with two younger children you need to find out if you could manage his behavior problems if necessary.

*Does he have any medical issues/allergies/behaviors that would require you to modify your home/your routine? (special locks on doors, cabinets, etc.) I would want to visit his home to see what, if anything, his mom has to do "extra" to keep him safe.

 

I don't think you're insane, but I do think $500/month would be a huge bargain for his mom.

 

(P.S. I meant to add that my dd also has high functioning autism. Don't let the "high" fool you...there can be plenty of challenges. Make sure you know what you're getting into.)

Edited June 27, 2011 by Laurie

[Orthodox6]

However, if you do decide to do it, I would look at tuition for special needs schools as well as how much private tutors charge in your area before settling on a fee.

 

Where I live (major city, south-central U.S.), monthly tuition is $1,800.00 at the school with which I am the most familiar.

[chiguirre]

Ds1's school bills $200/day for a 6 hour day. He has a one on one teacher all the time as well as ST/OT and behavioral supports.

 

When I work with ds2 on skills, it's one on one and dd has to occupy herself. Now that she's 8 this is fine, it was a lot harder when she was younger. They can work together on history and science.

 

I wouldn't want to hs someone else's hfa kid. There are too many behavioral and academic issues that could come back to bite you. What would you do if he melts down and attacks your children? What do you do if he hits you? Breaks things? Runs away? What happens if he hits an academic roadblock and can't stay close to grade level? You might be doing your best at teaching, but that doesn't guarantee you'll get good results. There are lots of surprising things that autistic kids find very difficult and their academics can be very uneven.

 

Ds2 has had tutors. Most of them have had experience as ABA therapists so they had a good idea of how to handle his challenges and I trusted them to intervene if necessary. He now has a tutor with a special ed credential but no specific autism experience. This is fine because ds is older and has more self-control. It's extremely unlikely that he'll melt down during their session. I wouldn't have attempted this 3 years ago, though.

 

If school is going really badly for this boy and you want to help out/earn some money to hs your own kids, I'd suggest having his mom be responsible for teaching the 3 Rs while you do history, science, art and music and provide childcare while she works. I doubt he could do more than an hour a day on the skill subjects right now anyway.

[Orthodox6]

Have to note again that "HFA" is used, albeit incomprehensibly to me, to encompass everything from moderate autism accompanied by sometimes severe behavioural problems, to Asperger's accompanied by next-to-no behavioural or emotional difficulties. This is why I loathe the label of autism being slapped on Asperger's.

[LizzyBee]

There is a school in our area for autistic kids. The tuition is $48,000/year, and when you add all the extras, it's really $54,000/year. Even daycare runs $600-$800 month, so I think $500/month to homeschool another child is very reasonable. For this to be feasible for the other mom, the fee has to be something she can afford; but for this to be worthwhile for you, you need to feel like you're being fairly compensated. Don't underestimate how much work it will be for you. Also don't forget to work out details such as who will buy materials, lunches, etc.

[amey311]

Also, you'll need to keep in mind how much you'll lose in taxes on this income, assuming you're claiming it. That's something you'll need to add to your discussion with this family. They can pay you as an independent contractor (I think), so that you're responsible for all the taxes, but this is still something you'll need to include in your negotiations.

[lmrich]

You have to consider it.

There are loads of things to consider. Would it just be for school hours or all day?

What curriculum would you use? etc..

What are his special needs? What are her goals for her son? etc...

 

I have done this and loved it. I love earning the money while getting to stay home with my own. It forced me to super organized (I am anyways), and I enjoyed the other child who brought in a different view point to our studies.

[applesing]

I am pretty sure that you cannot homeschool someone else's child for pay in Missouri. You should check with FHE to be sure on that issue.

[Night Elf]

Not all Aspies are the same, but I will say that homeschooling my Aspie (ds14) has always been challenging, and I've been homeschooling since pulling him out of Kindergarten. I can't imagine not having any experience with someone like my son and just jumping into a homeschooling situation. It won't necessarily be bad, but I highly recommend you familiarize yourself with high functioning autism if you are not familiar with it. The diagnosis of high functioning autism is not clear. I'm not saying this boy has Aspergers but it is one diagnosis that closely resembles high functioning autism, with the exception that the high functioning child may have had speech issues as a toddler.

 

My ds14 requires me to sit with him for every subject for a host of reasons. He will occasionally do work independently but only if I sit with him and help him understand all of the instructions and expectations from the start. We both get frustrated at least once a day, but it's usually several times. It's exhausting really. In fact, I'm currently procrastinating his lessons. We should have started an hour ago but I have a slight headache and feel a little irritable so I'm dreading any possible problems.

[A.J. at J.A.]

I am pretty sure that you cannot homeschool someone else's child for pay in Missouri. You should check with FHE to be sure on that issue.

 

This is what I was thinking as well.

 

Blessings,

Angela

[A.J. at J.A.]

Here is what I found on the HSLDA site with regard to MO law. http://www.hslda.org/laws/analysis/Missouri.pdf

 

Home School Statute: Mo. Ann. Stat. § 167.031.2. Home schools must meet the following additional requirements:

1. A home school is defined as a school that:

a. “Has as its primary purpose the provision of private or religious-based instruction”;

b. “Enrolls pupils between the ages of seven and sixteen years, of which no more than four are unrelated” (no limit on number of related students); and

c. “Does not charge or receive tuition, fees or other remuneration.” Mo. Ann. Stat. § 167.031.2(1)(a)-©.

 

So, while it appears you can homeschool him, you cannot do it for pay.

 

Blessings,

Angela

[mama2cntrykids]

Absolutely get to know him before even hinting at an agreement. My aspie is fabulous, but hsing him is an intense experience!

:iagree:My aspie is a challenge to school.

[Pretty in Pink]

If you figure out a way to legally do it, and it does not look like you can (perhaps on paper she would pay you for daycare instead, IDK...seems shady to me) $500.00 is definitely on the low end of what I would even consider charging. The private school I checked into here in my town was 7000.00/yr starting out; that did not include meals, uniforms, books, extracurriculars, etc.

 

I wouldn't personally want to take on the responsibility of educating another person's child. I've said that before on these boards, but I know there are people who that would and that do.