Parrothead Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 We all know it is distasteful to talk about bodily functions, give the gory details of surgeries and medical treatments, talk about specifics of making teA. What about other areas of life? At what point do you think you have crossed the line of being open and friendly to passing along too much personal information? At what point have others crossed that line and made you feel uncomfortable? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Hmm. Depends on who the person is, to be honest. Someone I barely know, I don't want the details of their tea brewing. Medical issues, though, never bother me. Probably cause of work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Oh! Just thought of something. My sister in law used to brag, with details, about the affair(s) she was having on the guy she was living with. Ick. Bragging about stealing, drug use, drunken exploits...none of these endear someone to me, instead I run far, far away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I generally keep things to myself in person, unless discussing something with a very close (read: trusted) friend. That said, it doesn't bother me when people offer what is socially accepted as TMI, in most cases. (I honestly wondered if the subject "TMI" was going to be followed by a declaration that the doctors of the 70s were right and your uterus did actually fall out from running! Snort.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Oh! Just thought of something. My sister in law used to brag, with details, about the affair(s) she was having on the guy she was living with. Ick. Bragging about stealing, drug use, drunken exploits...none of these endear someone to me, instead I run far, far away. Yes, that sort of thing makes me uncomfortable. Not so much because it's inappropriate to share, but that it's creepy to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 For me, anything I would be embarrassed to say aloud myself, I'm embarrassed to hear other people say. By that I mean, I don't want the details of why you lost your kids to CPS, I don't want to hear about how you got in a fight with your wife & now she won't sleep with you, and I just generally don't want to hear the sorts of issues you should be working out yourself or with the help of a doctor or therapist of some sort. (Those first 2--- got roped into those conversations this weekend. Not okay.) My mother used to say to me, "You don't have to tell everything you know." Good advice, IMO. I know I've vented on here about some issues with my DH, but you ladies are the only ones who got that vent. IRL, we presented a united front and got through it without most people knowing there was even a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Oh! Just thought of something. My sister in law used to brag, with details, about the affair(s) she was having on the guy she was living with. Ick. Bragging about stealing, drug use, drunken exploits...none of these endear someone to me, instead I run far, far away. Yeah, that is just tacky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 (edited) In real life, I don't share medical details unless specifically asked. And even then (unless it's the doctor) I give a one line answer unless the person (who is always a good friend or family member) asks more specifically because they really are concerned about me. I don't like to talk about money in anything other than hypotheticals in real life. This is because I've realized that people rarely have the same priorities or even semantics on this subject. And it can lead to envy and judgment. I don't like to talk about politics in real life. If I could find someone to discuss it with who was objective then yes, but I've never found someone like that. It makes me uncomfortable to listen to political diatribes. I don't like to talk about sex in real life unless it is my dh. It's not embarrassing, but very private. I don't like to talk about religion very much in real life though I can if someone really wants to. I do talk about my relationship with God just like I can't stop talking about my dh and my kids - but it's in a casual "part of my life" way. Someone would have to ask me specifically for me to talk specifically about the subject. Oh - and I don't talk about problems with my dh in real life or here. That too is private and we discuss it between the two of us. Edited June 7, 2011 by Jean in Newcastle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 My MIL crosses that line constantly. I don't think she believes there IS a line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 My favorite was the 60 year old who BRAGGED about giving her urine to friends and family so they could pass pee tests. She was drumming out her sobriety, but all I heard was "skanky associates and willing to lie". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 In real life, I don't share medical details unless specifically asked. And even then (unless it's the doctor) I give a one line answer unless the person (who is always a good friend or family member) asks more specifically because they really are concerned about me. I don't like to talk about money in anything other than hypotheticals in real life. This is because I've realized that people rarely have the same priorities or even semantics on this subject. And it can lead to envy and judgment. I don't like to talk about politics in real life. If I could find someone to discuss it with who was objective then yes, but I've never found someone like that. It makes me uncomfortable to listen to political diatribes. I don't like to talk about sex in real life unless it is my dh. It's not embarrassing, but very private. I don't like to talk about religion very much in real life though I can if someone really wants to. I do talk about my relationship with God just like I can't stop talking about my dh and my kids - but it's in a casual "part of my life" way. Someone would have to ask me specifically for me to talk specifically about the subject. Oh - and I don't talk about problems with my dh in real life or here. That too is private and we discuss it between the two of us. :iagree: I don't either. There are a few other topics I don't discuss. Most of those are related to security issues. I won't discuss dh's work/travel schedule. Really unless it is a very close friend I'd rather talk about the weather, current reading selections, and the Saturday night television line up. Maybe that is why I don't socialize with many people. I think polite conversation is a long lost art. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 The whole "drunken exploits" thing is so annoying to me. In so many places of employment, Monday is the day that everyone gets to hear about the immature, wish-I-was-still-in-high-school tales of people who hang out in bars or at parties all weekend and how trashed they got. My mom is a teacher's aid in a special needs class and she said that it seems like half the teachers have drunken tales to share on Monday back in the classroom. That's kind of scary to me. lol How did we get to the point where it's a natural and OK thing to talk about how you took leave of your senses for a couple days?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Random Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 It's probably different for everyone. I think it's usually best to err on the safe side. I don't share anything beyond 'small talk' with people I haven't known for years or taken the time to develop relationships with. ETA: The obvious exception being the atmosphere of an anonymous message board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 The whole "drunken exploits" thing is so annoying to me. In so many places of employment, Monday is the day that everyone gets to hear about the immature, wish-I-was-still-in-high-school tales of people who hang out in bars or at parties all weekend and how trashed they got. My mom is a teacher's aid in a special needs class and she said that it seems like half the teachers have drunken tales to share on Monday back in the classroom. That's kind of scary to me. lol How did we get to the point where it's a natural and OK thing to talk about how you took leave of your senses for a couple days?? I think many people have forgotten that familiarity breeds contempt. At some point in the last 40 years we have lost a sense of propriety. Casual became the word of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Yes. Propriety. Honestly, I think my mortification has more to do with the speaker's lack thereof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Medical issues aren't a big deal to me. Too many details and talking about it to the exclusion of anything else though make it into TMI. I have a neighbour whose colon I know intimately.:glare: Context as well. I've become friendly with the receptionist at my kids' music studio. She would rants about her boss (also FIL) while I was waiting for my kids to finish lessons. I would have been fine listening to it over tea and cheesecake but at the studio where we were customers? I was squirming as I listened and moved conversation onto another subject as soon as I could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dakarimom5 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Sunday my MIL had a cookout. I was sitting there with my SIL when MIL's new husband starts telling us he has to go to the doctor because of his prostate. Apparently it is enlarged and causing TeA issues. Now really, does anyone want to know what my in-laws are doing (or not doing) in the bedroom? FTR...both MIL and her new husband are in their 60's and on their 4 or 5 marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 In real life, I don't share medical details unless specifically asked. And even then (unless it's the doctor) I give a one line answer unless the person (who is always a good friend or family member) asks more specifically because they really are concerned about me. I don't like to talk about money in anything other than hypotheticals in real life. This is because I've realized that people rarely have the same priorities or even semantics on this subject. And it can lead to envy and judgment. I don't like to talk about politics in real life. If I could find someone to discuss it with who was objective then yes, but I've never found someone like that. It makes me uncomfortable to listen to political diatribes. I don't like to talk about sex in real life unless it is my dh. It's not embarrassing, but very private. I don't like to talk about religion very much in real life though I can if someone really wants to. I do talk about my relationship with God just like I can't stop talking about my dh and my kids - but it's in a casual "part of my life" way. Someone would have to ask me specifically for me to talk specifically about the subject. Oh - and I don't talk about problems with my dh in real life or here. That too is private and we discuss it between the two of us. This is about how I feel too. With a good friend we occ. discuss intimacy issues in the context of teaching our kids good values/boundries, etc. but I don't know the details of her private life and she doesn't know the details of mine and that is the way we want to keep it. We might occ. vent a tiny bit about dh but nothing major---more like we were disagreeing on the color trim for x or we miscommuniticated and dh mowed the wrong horse pasture, etc. We discuss our struggles as wives--meaning areas that WE need to work on or are struggling with but not dh bashing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think polite conversation is a long lost art. Yes. ITA. Bodily functions.....unless it is two mom's discussing a baby or small child. I have a friend who goes on and on about their money problems....VERY unpleasant....I feel like saying, 'hey, I'm broke too, wanna cookie?' Your miserable relationship with your mother. Ugh. Got another friend who does that.....I think it is not so much the topic....all my friends have said SOMETHING about a close relative at some point....but when every. single. word about your mom is 'woe is me and my horrible childhood.'....I think you would be better to quit talking about her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 This is about how I feel too. With a good friend we occ. discuss intimacy issues in the context of teaching our kids good values/boundries, etc. but I don't know the details of her private life and she doesn't know the details of mine and that is the way we want to keep it. We might occ. vent a tiny bit about dh but nothing major---more like we were disagreeing on the color trim for x or we miscommuniticated and dh mowed the wrong horse pasture, etc. We discuss our struggles as wives--meaning areas that WE need to work on or are struggling with but not dh bashing. This is me and the friends I enjoy being around. I love my dh and I'm still a newly wed, BUT I've made a determined decision to not be negative about him ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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