Jean in Newcastle Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I love my family. I love being together with my family for work, school and play. . . most of the time. Every now and then though it's like a switch is flipped and I just want to get away! Their voices annoy me. Their presence seem stifling. And for a brief time (like a day) I just want to scream if they come near me! But I can't get out for a mom's night out. Or a date night with dh. Those things would be great and I have no problem with them. It's just that dh is working two jobs and right now there is overtime with one of them and it just can't happen. In fact, I feel a bit selfish for wanting to get away when he's so tired and stressed from working so hard. I'm sure that's why I want to get away though - because his working so hard means that I'm stuck with the kids. And just the fact that I said "stuck" shows a bad mommy attitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 No, it shows you're human. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I have days like that. In all honesty, getting a good book and calling off school for the day helps. Not in just taking it off and surfing the net, but I need a good fiction book. It just ...I don't know, changes my brain space? Maybe because I'm not consciously thinking about what stresses me? I mean, I'm here on the boards kicking back after a hard day but I'm still running a mental check list of tomorrow. But when I get a book, I go into the book and even a few hours makes me feel as if I've had a mini vacation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I have days like that, too. My kids' dad doesn't live in our state, so his being around to relieve me is few and far between. I'm fortunate to have lots of extended family nearby, but when I get into one of the moods you described it's usually coinciding with me feeling guilty for always relying on my family -- they don't care, but I feel like I'm taking advantage of them. I don't know where that comes from, they've never hinted or said as much. I take mini-retreats at home. My kids are 5 and 10, and understand well enough; I'm sure your kids would as well. I lock myself in the bathroom for several hours - long, long bath, reading and relaxing, et cetera. Then I close the door. Any room, doesn't matter. I let them know that I'm taking a mental health day and am only to be disturbed if someone is bleeding, dying, or selling girl scout cookies. I don't care what they do -- watch tv, play, doesn't matter. They're in charge of feeding themselves, and it's a free-for-all kind of day (they can eat whatever is in the pantry). Once I get a solid 4-6 hours of alone time, I'm so much better. I usually take them out to dinner, or to the park, or something to get me back into the mommy groove. When I close the door, I read. Nap. Stare at the wall. Get online. Write letters. Just anything. Is that an option for you? A mini-mommy retreat within your own walls? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I reach that point, oh, around 4pm every afternoon. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Yeah, I know those days too. I email dh and tell him to bring home chocolate, then barricade myself in the bedroom for as much of the day as possible. Or if I feel that way but am not actually zombified with sleep deprivation, I might toss them in the car and drive up to my aunt's block. She may not be home, but she shows up eventually and in the meantime, dd will play in the house or car, and ds will wander happily around. Since his horrible "I'm bored" humming noise is most of what drives me insane, the problem is solved. All I have to do is make sure he doesn't drown himself or anything drastic. Getting out of the city is very good for morale. :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Click your heels together and say, "There's no place like St. Louis. There's no place like St. Louis..." and before you know it, you'll be here! ;) Seriously, though, I'm sorry it's so hard right now! I always try to get out of the house w/them when I can't go out w/out them. The change of scenery seems to get me through for the time being. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I can relate - but can't you do something withOUT your DH? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 Click your heels together and say, "There's no place like St. Louis. There's no place like St. Louis..." and before you know it, you'll be here! ;) Seriously, though, I'm sorry it's so hard right now! I always try to get out of the house w/them when I can't go out w/out them. The change of scenery seems to get me through for the time being. :grouphug: You know, Chelle, the thought of being away from them for a glorious 4 days. . .! :party: But wait. . . I'm really going to see a doctor right? Not for a vacation. . . and not to party with some WTM peeps! Wait, I can do both! :party::party: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 I'm too lazy to quote everyone else. . . I'm reading a Mrs. Jeffries mystery right now. It's nice and light and fluffy. The tub requires scrubbing. Somehow that makes it lose its allure. . . I was thinking about going to our wonderful local chocolate shop but they close early on Sunday. . . but I just went to their website and see that they've added a lunch menu! :hurray::hurray: I see a lunch out in my future. . . I'm ignoring the fact that I really should be doing some grading. I just can't do grading right now. :nopity: The Y will be open again tomorrow (they close early on the weekends) and I think I can get away from the kids then. In fact, I know I can get away because I have an appointment with a personal trainer. Not exactly pampering but it will be without the kids;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 You know, Chelle, the thought of being away from them for a glorious 4 days. . .! :party: But wait. . . I'm really going to see a doctor right? Not for a vacation. . . and not to party with some WTM peeps! Wait, I can do both! :party::party: But seeing the dr. is a good thing, right? Since you're going for help, presumably, which he/she will try to give you? And the dr. is a grown-up, right? So most likely very little, if any, whining or backtalk from him/her? :D I promise I don't have an annoying voice. But if I get near you and you scream, I'm really going to take it personally! ;) I'm thinking St. Louis is just the ticket! But until then, just put one foot in front of the other. Or don't. Just sit on the couch and give orders. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 With kids your kids' ages, I would happily go out for a short while- in my case i might pop up to the mall and walk around the shops- or withdraw to the bathtub or my bedroom. In fact, I would go insane if I didn't get regular space from my kids- and everyone and everything :) Also...I always get up before everyone else so that I get some personal space in the mornings. I realise not everyone enjoys doing that, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usetoschool Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 When I had three preschoolers and my husband would ask what I wanted for Mother's Day my answer was "for you to take the kids for the day, far, far away". :001_smile: Fortunately I got my wish. By the end of the day it was always too quiet and I was ready for them to come home. A friend used to say it was like being pecked to death by baby ducks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I love my family. I love being together with my family for work, school and play. . . most of the time. Every now and then though it's like a switch is flipped and I just want to get away! Their voices annoy me. Their presence seem stifling. And for a brief time (like a day) I just want to scream if they come near me! But I can't get out for a mom's night out. Or a date night with dh. Those things would be great and I have no problem with them. It's just that dh is working two jobs and right now there is overtime with one of them and it just can't happen. In fact, I feel a bit selfish for wanting to get away when he's so tired and stressed from working so hard. I'm sure that's why I want to get away though - because his working so hard means that I'm stuck with the kids. And just the fact that I said "stuck" shows a bad mommy attitude. I was really feeling like this today. Sometimes I just want everyone to just leave me be...let me sit for five minutes without talking or asking for anything. You are not selfish...just human. We all need to be alone with our thoughts sometimes... :grouphug::grouphug: Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 It's exacerbated right now because ds13 has been clingy. As in pressed up against me in the pew at church. And cuddled up to me at lunch so that I could hardly find room to swing my fork. We were eating out with a friend, and ds was ignoring my subtle hints to give me some room (like whispering 'please move over' and my shoulder shrugs to get his head off of my shoulder). Sigh. He was a clingy baby. I hadn't quite expected a clingy teen. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 It's exacerbated right now because ds13 has been clingy. As in pressed up against me in the pew at church. And cuddled up to me at lunch so that I could hardly find room to swing my fork. We were eating out with a friend, and ds was ignoring my subtle hints to give me some room (like whispering 'please move over' and my shoulder shrugs to get his head off of my shoulder). Sigh. He was a clingy baby. I hadn't quite expected a clingy teen. . . Lol...sorry... My 16yo ds is just like that. He is the huggiest guy around. Sometimes though...I have to tell him I am in a porcupine mood. He understands and backs off...fir a minute or two. Gotta love them. Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I find that just getting out for 30 minutes to run or swim does my mental state a world of good. I've basically given up on being able to get away for longer, but if I can get out the door for just that brief time before DH leaves for work I am much more able to deal with the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 A friend used to say it was like being pecked to death by baby ducks. that made me lol. SO true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindyD Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I had a day like that today. I realized that I just HAD to go to the store to buy some milk around 9pm, then swung by Sonic for a late and amazingly unhealthy dinner. I brought back a reese's sonic blast for dh and we're all happier now. I felt a little bad about it because dh has been working all weekend and leaving for work at 5:30am, but it was for everyone's good that I went away for 45 minutes. Maybe you could find a way to do something small like that? Something so simple as a milkshake and a book for an hour helps my mood so much sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 I scrubbed the tub and took Mrs. Jeffries into a nice hot bath with me. . . wait, that didn't come out right. . . I took my Mrs. Jeffries book into the bath with me! The water kept getting cold and I'd refresh it with hot, so that I could stay in there a nice long time. Phew! That was nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I scrubbed the tub and took Mrs. Jeffries into a nice hot bath with me. . . wait, that didn't come out right. . . I took my Mrs. Jeffries book into the bath with me! The water kept getting cold and I'd refresh it with hot, so that I could stay in there a nice long time. Phew! That was nice. Yea! Glad to hear you got a little alone time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 There are days when a DVD is popped into the basement TV and I high tail it up to the 2nd floor of the house (2 floors away from them!) and tell them to not even THINK of coming near me unless there is blood or fire. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKDmom Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 It's exacerbated right now because ds13 has been clingy. As in pressed up against me in the pew at church. And cuddled up to me at lunch so that I could hardly find room to swing my fork. We were eating out with a friend, and ds was ignoring my subtle hints to give me some room (like whispering 'please move over' and my shoulder shrugs to get his head off of my shoulder). Sigh. He was a clingy baby. I hadn't quite expected a clingy teen. . . Gaaahhh!!! I wouuld want to scream, too. My toddler is pretty clingy, but I have no tolerance for my bigger kids when they get clingy. I get all touched out by 7am when the toddler decides she needs to be in my bed during the wee hours of the morning. I'm glad to hear you got a little alone time. I have taken to getting my hair cut a lot more often. And buying clothes for myself. Getting out of the house is essential for me. Even going to the grocery store (without all the whiny "helpers") is better than staying in the house when I get to the end of my rope. And really, dh is happy to see me go when I start biting people's heads off. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shannon in TN Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 When I had three preschoolers and my husband would ask what I wanted for Mother's Day my answer was "for you to take the kids for the day, far, far away". :001_smile: Fortunately I got my wish. By the end of the day it was always too quiet and I was ready for them to come home. A friend used to say it was like being pecked to death by baby ducks. "pecked to death..." THAT'S so true!! I used to ask for the same thing for Mother's Day and never got it :glare:. DH actually would get offended and say something like "for Mother's Day you don't want to be a mother?" Well, no, just some peace and quiet. He didn't "get it" so I didn't get it. Yea! Glad to hear you got a little alone time! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.