KeriJ Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 (edited) I have 4, so you'd think I'd be used to the toddler stage by now. But this is my first time to homeschool 2 while trying to wrangle a toddler and a preschooler.....the preschooler who has a very strong personality and objects VERY LOUDLY and LONG to anything that he doesn't want to do. I have tried many things such as providing a special school box for my preschooler for school time, using nap time etc. But it seems like every day is spent with me wracking my brain for a creative solution, and ending school time with my heart pounding and blood pressure sky-rocketing as we just barely made it through a few subjects without any major catastrophes....though every second we were right on the verge! I can see my preschooler getting slightly better, but now I have a 16 month old who is joining the ranks as she gives up her morning nap! Both have huge, intense personalities....not like my sister's children who wander off to play with their dolls on their own at the age of 2 or 3. :glare: Please tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel! I dream of the day that all 4 of them are in school mode, and I'm not so torn. I know all about not trying to rush my littles to grow up and enjoy them while they are little. But my olders are suffering from rushed, frantic school teacher! Edited May 2, 2011 by KeriJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 No clue. My 21-month-old gets angry sometimes when I'm doing 20 minutes of reading with the older one...mostly because I'm not paying attention to her RIGHT NOW, y'know? I did want to say that I completely and totally commiserate...and I wish my toddler would watch at least ONE television show so I could have her off my lap some days. :blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Do you have them strapped in a high chair for a certain amount of time each day? We got my ds accustomed to that, and it has proven to be a very good thing. We started small, increased by 5 minutes every 4 days, and now he can sit for basically an hour in his high chair. Granted you have to keep funneling him activities (and have lots of them, lol), but he can do it. Our space is very open, so we have to confine him or accept that he'll be ALL OVER. My SIL on the other hand has a school room with a door that shuts. That's how she kept all her stairsteps in the room when they were little like yours. Give your oldest earplugs I guess, lol. They have nice little foam ones you can get from anybody who does construction or works with equipment. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 It gets easier! imho toddlers and young adults are the most difficult stages to parent. Toddlers are sooo busy, have short attention spans and when they are awake they are in to everything. RE: the preschooler. I would really focus on training the demanding and the volume. He is old enough to show more self control. I know when I get overwhelmed and things BUG me, I often begin to react instead of living proactively. I'd spend some focused time really training him to respectfully ask and wait for your attention. If he is this loud and demanding now and you let it go, it will just get worse later (in my experience). It does get easier! It does. It really, really does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishmommy Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I make my toddler have "room time" with my ker so I can work with my older. I wish I had better ideas for you (and me)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallory Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I do a lot of switching around with big kids entertaining (taking out side ;)) little ones. I have also recently discovered if I get up my big kids at 6:30 or 7:00 and we work before the little ones get up, we get more work done that first hour or two then all the rest of the day. Of course, I've never had little ones who wake up at the crack of dawn so this is working well for us (her it is 9:15 and my 5yo is still sleeping and my 2yo just woke up). Then the big kids fix second breakfast for themselves and the little ones and I work out! Off to sweat now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Do you have them strapped in a high chair for a certain amount of time each day? We got my ds accustomed to that, and it has proven to be a very good thing. We started small, increased by 5 minutes every 4 days, and now he can sit for basically an hour in his high chair. Granted you have to keep funneling him activities (and have lots of them, lol), but he can do it.;) We did this too! Started off small and increased day by day. We also have "blanket time" (which is on a large area rug) and trained them to stay there and play with whatever we gave them until the buzzer went off. Again starting in small increments and giving praise when the buzzer goes off. This was challenging b/c my youngest 2 are very strong willed and would test the boundaries but consistency was the key. They also have room time like a pp poster mentioned. These help a LOT! Oh, and we try to spend the first min. of "school" with the youngest 2 so they get attention first and found it's easier to move on with fewer distractions after that. It can be very draining in the beginning to try to train the youngsters but so worth it! Their "schedule" has cut down on whining etc. b/c they know what is coming next. I hope this helps and I really can feel your struggle b/c I've been there! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 (edited) It can be very draining in the beginning to try to train the youngsters but so worth it! Their "schedule" has cut down on whining etc. b/c they know what is coming next. I hope this helps and I really can feel your struggle b/c I've been there! :iagree: We've found it helps to do a group gathering - our Bible Time and then let the olders work independently on something while I do a bit of preschool first with the little people. Then I can let the little people have some free play while I direct the others. It also helps because they got "their" time and now should go play for a bit while each of the other olders gets a bit of one on one time. Anything that takes Mom focus - one on one stuff, can wait until naptime. Obviously anything you can simplify - you should. For example, SOTW on CD, or books on tape, group read alouds, calling for narrations as a group. Also, the 6yo can be "in charge" of the 1yo or the 4yo for supervised play while you work for short periods (15-20 min) with the 8yo or vice versa with the 8yo being in charge while you work with the 6yo. With summer coming up you can also do outdoor school - let the little ones run 'til exhausted and read something to the olders. At 8, 6, 4, and 1, what worked for us was a very CM approach for the six year old age, and most of the structured time with the 8yo at naptime. Also, always keep an eye on letting your 8yo be as independent as possible - it will save you a lot of energy and effort in the long run! Edited May 2, 2011 by BlsdMama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daybreaking Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Yes, it definitely gets better, although for me that has been bittersweet. My youngest turned 4 in January and it's night and day difference from when she was 3, but now I long for the days she was little and toddling around. Last night I spent an hour looking through old photographs of when she was a toddler and had a hard time keeping the tears back. My mother-in-law has frequently commented about the days being long, but the years short. How true that is! Practically speaking, however, here are some things that might work: -Fill up the little ones' tanks before starting to homeschool the older ones. I start the day having my 8yo ds do independent work while I do activities with my dd. After getting alone time with me, I find she's more content to play alone when I need to work with her brother. -Have a schedule and stick with it. This has probably been the single most effective thing I have done. My children have thrived on the routine and once they know the schedule, it is so much easier to have them each do what I need them to do. When I just winged it, they never knew what to expect and it was harder to get both on track. For an example, when my dd has her "play alone" time, she knows right after that is craft time with me, so she's more cooperative with peacefully playing alone. She also knows if she keeps coming down and interrupting, then she loses her craft time. That's very motivating and she's probably only lost her craft time once or twice. (On the other side, I need to do the same with her brother - when it's dd's craft time, he needs to respect her 1:1 time with Mommy and not interrupt.) -As mentioned above, have a scheduled "play alone" time for the youngers, each in their own room or crib. For us, 1/2 hour is the right amount of time for my dd to play alone in her room. -Alternate having one of the olders play with the youngers while you work with the other older. -Alternate working with the olders and spending 1:1 time with the youngers. -Alternate individual time with family activities. (Some of our group activities are "read aloud" time, music, fingerplay activities, etc. The children love this time together and it seems to energize them for more independent work later.) -Once you have time built into the schedule to spend with the youngers, then work proactively on training them to play quietly while you are working with the olders. This is not an overnight job, but a gradual day by day, consistently redirecting them, type of job. I remember telling my dd that I love to have her play near us, but if she keeps interrupting while I am trying to work with her brother, she would need to play upstairs. It took a few times of being removed and she caught on and was 100% better. Now, at 4, she'll play for an extended period right near us (and sometimes right at the table with us) with very few interruptions. So, yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just when you think you're going to pull out your hair, you'll be amazed at the change. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boscopup Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I have mine go play on their own. If they come in and bug us during school and/or behave poorly, they go to their rooms for "quiet time" until that portion of school is done. The toddler goes in his crib. The preschooler goes to his room and is not allowed to come out until I come and get him. They are gradually getting better about letting school get done. I've even moved some nap time subjects to the awake-time morning subjects, which is amazing. My youngest will be 2 next month. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. One thing I don't do is entertain my children or try to come up with activities to keep them busy. If they can't entertain themselves with the toys available to them, THAT is a problem, and it's a skill they need to learn, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I have mine go play on their own... One thing I don't do is entertain my children or try to come up with activities to keep them busy. If they can't entertain themselves with the toys available to them, THAT is a problem, and it's a skill they need to learn, IMO. I did that and thought that with my dd. Then I had my ds. LOL He's just plain DANGEROUS when left alone. Yeah, he'll play alone. But his version of playing alone usually involves moving objects that end up ramming into you or climbing or finding things you don't want him into. It's not so neat and sane as it was with dd. I'd love to hear more from ElegantLion on her teaching the toddlers self-control. Sometimes we underestimate what our kids are ready for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boscopup Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Oh yes, boys are dangerous! I have 3 of them. I've managed to remove particularly dangerous situations, and teach them to not do some others - like when the Mythbusters say "Do not try this at home", they really mean it! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I know, today I was just a few feet away (honest!) cleaning, and before I knew it he was at the TOP of some very high bookshelves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My lands, it's incredible. THEN dd informs me that he had done it before, lol. Let's just say he now knows it's not acceptable. But mercy, I'm telling you I was within a 15' radius while that happens. Gotta love when they're playing quietly. Noisy is what we like. Then we know where you are and what you're doing. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I'm sure that it will get easier:001_smile:, at least that is what I tell myself. I reality I think it will just get different. I feel lucky myself because my two oldest were my intense toddlers/preschoolers, and my younger two are much more mellow. My 3 year old happily occupies herself while we do school. On the other hand my sister had two mellow, and then two intense, so she is right there where you are at trying to school with two boys 18 months apart that are a distraction. I honestly think the best thing to do is to take some time and train them to occupy themselves. Start small, and reward them when they co-operate. I'm sorry I do not have more advice, but hang in there:grouphug:! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 My kids are the same ages...I'll be back later to read all the replies. Right now they make a big mess while I'm working with the others. :blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I have to laugh now about this thread:lol:, or else go crazy! I thought my dd(3) was being good cutting some paper earlier while I did school with dd(5), but she was actually cutting up her play dress. Yes she has been tougher than usual the last few weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsfamily Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 :bigear: my 2 yr is a sweet tornado...well, sometimes sweet. Right now, I depend on my preschooler to entertain him/steer him to acceptable activities while I'm schooling/nursing his brothers. However, the preschooler becomes a K'er next month and the 2yo will be without a playmate for some of the schoolday. I would just take turns between the school age boys but they love to do school together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 There's nothing wrong with "assigning" them an area and ONE thing to play with and insisting they either play with that thing or activity you've chosen or sit still, criss cross applesauce and do absolutely nothing. They learn contentment quickly. Obviously this would be in about twenty minute increments and you'd have to alternate still play with active play for active little people a.k.a. BOYS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pata Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 I know, today I was just a few feet away (honest!) cleaning, and before I knew it he was at the TOP of some very high bookshelves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My lands, it's incredible. THEN dd informs me that he had done it before, lol. Let's just say he now knows it's not acceptable. But mercy, I'm telling you I was within a 15' radius while that happens. Gotta love when they're playing quietly. Noisy is what we like. Then we know where you are and what you're doing. ;) I think this is where we are headed :glare:. I was doing dishes, 2 feet away from ds and he climbed up the pantry shelf and was just dangling there looking at me, like, what's the big deal! Dd never would have done that. Love all the ideas on this thread, I need them as we head into the wonderful world of toddlerhood :001_huh:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 Sometimes I do lessons with my older two on a weekend morning. DH is here for the toddler, and it doesn't take long. It's amazing how much we get done in a couple hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 Reading this thread with fear... :lol: My ds is only 5 months but he is so high-needs even now, I'm kind of scared to see what school will be like this fall when he's 1. Good ideas here though, and I was happy to see the high chair thing is helpful, because my baby will sit in one for 15-20 minutes with his toys while I make dinner, so I will remember to slowly increase that as he gets older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huntchaos Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 :lol: so, it is not just because my 2 year old is crazy! She has been one of the most difficult to deal with "factors" in our first year of hsing. I think it is just because she is so unpredictable. Thanks for the reminders on really sticking to schedules, etc. Also, we use workboxes and I need to be better about using hers. Keep the ideas coming!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyinMD Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 My 3 yo goes to Pre-K every school day for 3 hours. Before he started going in January I had a heck of a time getting school done with him around. He wasn't napping anymore and he screeches constantly (due to special needs). I feel so rushed during those 3 hours like I must get everything done during that time. He is even approved for extended school year that meets the month of July so there are only a few weeks this summer he'll be home all week. He has ASD and SPD and has a knack for finding dangerous things to do. I really cannot count on getting much one on one schoolwork done while he is home. Now my 4 yo has always been as easy as can be. She's one of those kids that can spend hours playing with stuffed animals or dolls and has since she was around 2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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