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the tsunami and my 40th b-day


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***Edit: Husband's boss was able to arrange a night off for my husband's shift and I went to Waikiki for a night. I had an awesome room, got a facial, and came home to the festivities from my children. My oldest son gave me a book on constellations for me to study for when I *do* get to MaunaKea. And my oldest daughter gave me a candle with "fireplace" scent, because she knew I was looking forward to the fireplace in the cabin. ::sniff:: They are so thoughtful. Pity party is officially over, I'm almost over the guilt of being a petulant brat, and it is back to homeschooling tomorrow.

 

Thanks for your kind words, everyone. I appreciate it all.****

So we evac'd our house Thurs. night as the tsunami headed toward Hawaii- no problem. We slept in the cars with all the kids and the rowdy dog- no problem. The island was spared only pockets of damage, but it seems petty compared to what we are seeing in Japan. I'm thankful, but my heart is heavy while watching the news from Japan.

 

So, to up the pettiness---

 

My birthday gift from my husband was a tour of the famous observatory on MaunaKea on the Big Island. Then I was going to hike through Volcano National Park for a day and a half...alone. And I was soooo looking forward to it, I can't explain how much. Even though the volcano has been active, and on the day of the Japan earthquake Kilauea had a good sized quake itself- I admit I was a little unsettled- I still believed the hiking was the perfect way to reflect on my 40th b-day and make goals for the next 40, God willing.

 

Didn't happen.

 

Because of the airport closures due to the tsunami, my flight was cancelled. They couldn't reschedule on the same day, so I would miss the MaunaKea tour. I had to cancel the weekend. Then my Navy husband called into the office---big, big, huge mistake. Now he is on the 4pm to 4am watch helping out with the coordination of relief efforts in Japan. I know, I know, I should be glad to do my part.

 

But I'm not.

 

I'm having a pity party.

 

I was supposed to be reading, hiking, sleeping, praying, hiking, reading, etc. this weekend. Now I'm cleaning up after our hasty evacuation mess, and I wasn't prepared with activities for the children, and I'm in a bad mood. And I just can't seem to rise above.

 

I think I'll go eat some worms. :glare:

 

So here I am going into my 40th birthday crushed with disappointment, and yet realizing every minute that I am blessed to be alive with my family around me, but all I want is a day at the spa. And I am fully aware I am being selfish. Which, of course adds to my general disappointment of my lack of character at age 40.

 

If you read this far, you're a saint, I'm not worthy to be your online friend.

 

[sigh]

 

Just fishing for kind words...

 

Jo

Edited by battlemaiden
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:grouphug:

What a disappointment. Just because others, somewhere else, may have it worse, doesn't mean you aren't entitled to *your* feelings. Don't feel guilty about being disappointed, but do put it in perspective. Hope for another opportunity at a later date.

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:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I am sorry.

 

It's not petty to feel disappointed when we don't get to do something special. You still get to be human and have normal feelings, even when you are forty.

 

Birthday wishes for you. (Somehow "Happy Birthday" didn't seem to quite cut it. ;) ) Here's hoping the next forty is wonderful.

 

Cat

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Your allowed to be disappointed, it was a horrible weekend indeed.

 

BUT like you said:

 

1. you have children who are alive and well (I am sure there are many, many families, that were separated during the earthquake, who don't have any idea if their children are alive in Japan, or worse....know that they aren't alive)

 

2. Your dog is safe, and didn't run away during the craziness. (Animals can sense and react to many geological events)

 

3. Your car held you all safe and sound. I am certain there are many in Japan who are still sleeping outside in the weather, without a home to go back to anymore.

 

4. You can reschedule your birthday, every detail of it. For many others who share your birthday....it was their last day on earth.

 

5. Your husband will be a hero to many, many people.

 

6. You house is a mess, but is still standing and secure. It didn't float away or collapse.

 

7. You are turning 40, and have so much to be thankful for, that you are this disappointed to have missed a couple days of your wonderful life. (said nicely-not snarky)

 

8. Worms don't taste good, get an extra big birthday cake instead.

I really hope you get to make up for your missed birthday, and it is even better that you expected.

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First, I'm glad you are okay.

 

Second, I'm sorry you missed your present. You will still be 40 later. You'll be able to reflect more clearly after having some experience being forty. ;)

 

Third, 40+ is more fun than I thought. I'll be 44 in May and there is a freedom I never had in my 20's or 30's. You're going to enjoy this side of 40

 

Now go dig up some nightcrawlers and have a nice pity party.

 

Every girl deserves a pity party.

 

16-candles-molly.jpg?w=450&h=271

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First, I'm glad you are okay.

 

Second, I'm sorry you missed your present. You will still be 40 later. You'll be able to reflect more clearly after having some experience being forty. ;)

 

Third, 40+ is more fun than I thought. I'll be 44 in May and there is a freedom I never had in my 20's or 30's. You're going to enjoy this side of 40

 

Now go dig up some nightcrawlers and have a nice pity party.

 

Every girl deserves a pity party.

 

16-candles-molly.jpg?w=450&h=271

 

Yep, that's me today. :lol:

 

If my husband even attempts to fix it with cake or climbing on furniture later, I'm leaving him.

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I totally understand. My birthday plans got cancelled on 9/11/01. I was supposed to party with shipmates at Hard Rock Cafe Bahrain because we'd been underway on my actual birthday the week before. Instead we scrambled out of port with liberty cancelled.

 

And yours was a bigger birthday!

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Feeling disappointed is a perfectly normal reaction, and it does not make you a terrible person. I was livid at our HOA yesterday because they won't approve a tree that so many others have in their yards. Periodically, I'd say to myself (referencing Japan), "thousands have died today, and you're upset about a tree?" Yet, I needed to recognize that I was/am disappointed. It does not mean I am heartless. Same goes for you; you recognize others are hurting, but that doesn't change the fact that the day you had planned and were eagerly awaiting had to be cancelled. Something unexpected just happened to you, so it is relative in your world, and an emotional response is to be expected.

 

I hope you can reschedule it again during your 40th year. Happy Birthday!!!

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I know how you feel , J, the last 4 years the only thing I have wanted to do for my bday (Nov 1) was have a big Halloween party. My dh was tdy every time! I was really ticked last year because it was something semi-optional (you know how the high speed type As are about those). We give up a lot for the service, and it is frustrating when something you have looked forward to just doesn't work out. :grouphug:

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My dh was tdy every time! I was really ticked last year because it was something semi-optional (you know how the high speed type As are about those). We give up a lot for the service, and it is frustrating when something you have looked forward to just doesn't work out. :grouphug:

 

Yep. It wouldn't have been quite so bad if he hadn't *called* to see how bad it was in the joint-operation-center. :glare: He is on approved leave. Duty won.

 

Oh, well. My funk is barely starting to lift. Husband is back to work for the evening, the teenager is babysitting, so he won't be around syphoning off of my foul mood, and I might be able to talk the kids into watching a movie of my choice.

 

And we're eating on disposable plates!

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sorry your plans were foiled! I can't help but see it all as some sort of turning forty metaphor, though. At least for me, forty was when I began to finally accept disappoint as a normal part of life, and it didn't mess me up so badly then. Cheers!

:grouphug::grouphug:

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:grouphug: I'm sorry! :grouphug: I do hope that VERY SOON you get a nice spa retreat and indulge in your favourite goodies guilt-free. So do me a favour and remember this: when you're enjoying that tantalizing piece of (decadent dessert) with that chilled glass of (name your poison) and a cabanaboy-turned-masseuse named Enrique is gliding down your well-oiled leg with the greatest of ease, I want you to close your eyes and smile, and think "oh yeah, this was worth it!"

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:grouphug: I'm sorry! :grouphug: I do hope that VERY SOON you get a nice spa retreat and indulge in your favourite goodies guilt-free. So do me a favour and remember this: when you're enjoying that tantalizing piece of (decadent dessert) with that chilled glass of (name your poison) and a cabanaboy-turned-masseuse named Enrique is gliding down your well-oiled leg with the greatest of ease, I want you to close your eyes and smile, and think "oh yeah, this was worth it!"

 

I am now living on the vapors of your description.... :D

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:party::party: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

:hurray::hurray: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE 40. YOU LOOK FABULOUS

:cheers2::cheers2: HAVE A GLASS OF BIRTHDAY CHEER

:hat::hat: I ALWAYS WANTED TO USE THIS SMILEY. BUT I NEVER KNEW WHAT IT WAS FOR. NOW I KNOW THAT I'VE BEEN SAVING IT TO WISH YOU A WONDERFUL 40TH BIRTHDAY.

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First, I'm glad you are okay.

 

Second, I'm sorry you missed your present. You will still be 40 later. You'll be able to reflect more clearly after having some experience being forty. ;)

 

Third, 40+ is more fun than I thought. I'll be 44 in May and there is a freedom I never had in my 20's or 30's. You're going to enjoy this side of 40

 

Now go dig up some nightcrawlers and have a nice pity party.

 

Every girl deserves a pity party.

 

16-candles-molly.jpg?w=450&h=271

 

Oh, my gosh, I love this movie! And everything she said here is true. What other people think about you matters less and less after 40.;) Freedom!

 

Happy Birthday!

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