mlktwins Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Hi all! DH and I got married when DH was 40 and I was 33. We both had relationships before we got married (I was married once before). DH doesn't have any photo album of him (from baby to when he met me) and I'm going to make one for him. His mom is giving me the pictures she has of him as a baby and child (not that many because he was the 3rd and final child :-). His sister has photos of him growing up (vacations, Christmas, etc) in scrapbooks so I'm going through them, deciding which ones I want, and will take the negative to make a photo for me. DH has some pics of him with friends and ex-girlfriends in college and law school, etc. Not a lot, but some. So...I'm curious what you all would do with the old girlfriend pictures :D? I don't think I mind putting in a (meaning 1) picture of him with an old girlfriend if she meant something important to him. He did have a life before me. I don't think I want to put them all in. I need to make an album of my childhood too (I want our boys to have these), but I have already gone through and gotten rid of many pics of old flames. I think I kept one or 2 of each and a few more of my ex-husband. Just curious what others would/have done. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Is the album a surprise? If not I would ask him what he thought and who, if any he would want included. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Is the album a surprise? If not I would ask him what he thought and who, if any he would want included. Exactly. He may or may not have strong feelings about including any photos of past girl friends. May depend a lot on how they broke up, etc. Let him decide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 It won't be a surprise. I would definitely ask him. Just curious what others would/have done :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 I really don't know. DH and I were high school sweethearts, so there's not much "before each other" stuff anyway. I was his 2nd girlfriend, and I don't think there even exist any photos of him with the 1st. I know if there were, he'd not want them in any album of ours. He was my something more than 2nd boyfriend, depending on how serious a fling we want to count as "boyfriend" and I did not keep any pictures from any past guys. There is one photo of me with one ex boyfriend, my first "serious" flame in high school, and a dear friend wrote a poem about that photo for me -- my hubby would never in a million years understand if I'd wanted to keep said photo, or said poem (which wasn't about the boy, but about the feelings evoked in the photo), so I threw it out in college. I've kind of regretted that, more for the poem than the photo. It would bug my husband though, big time, and no photo is worth that, so no big deal. I did include a little love note he wrote as a 1st grader when I made him an album of his childhood. He'd proposed to a little girl : ) and I thought it a cute thing to put in. He didn't mind that. I would think if I were you, I might include one or two photos. Your children will know that you two had "before mom/dad" lives, and maybe it's good to show them that "pre-spouse" can still be an important part of your life. I don't know.....like I said, it really is foreign to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danybug Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 I agree that he should decide. I know my dh would say not to use any and to get rid of any of his old girlfriends pictures. He is just so "black and white". But my opinion would be that being you were not young when you got together that a good portion of your life was spent apart with other memories. I feel like the kids should be able to see that too. If you were really young and they were like high school girlfriend/fling photos than they would be silly to include. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Around here, pics of or notes from ex-girlfriends belong in a box in the top of his cupboard, or somewhere else I shan't have to trip over them. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in OH Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 You could do what dh's grandma did when her daughter (dh's aunt) got divorced.........she edited the photographs with a pair of scissors !:001_huh: Whammo! No more ex-dh! :lol: Many years later, it still cracks us up to look at those albums. So much unspoken honesty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I wouldn't include old girlfriends in the album. For me, it's the ick factor. I have no interest in looking at women dh may have slept with in his earlier life, just as he would have even less interest in seeing my old boyfriends that way. Considering our kids know we had prior lives, I don't think they need to see details (meaning other people) either. If I wanted to include the picture of him, I'd either crop it, or cut the old gf out of several and make a collage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I wouldn't include old girlfriends in the album. For me, it's the ick factor. I have no interest in looking at women dh may have slept with in his earlier life, just as he would have even less interest in seeing my old boyfriends that way. Considering our kids know we had prior lives, I don't think they need to see details (meaning other people) either. If I wanted to include the picture of him, I'd either crop it, or cut the old gf out of several and make a collage. BINGO! Dh and I both did a "cleanse" before our wedding. Our marriage marked a brand new start: one with the right person. No need for reminders of the experiments gone awry. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeneralMom Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Apparently this is not the popular opinion, but I would include the pictures. You were both adults with histories when you met, and those histories (as long as they are not painful) made you who you are and should be a part of any retrospective of your lives. I have photo albums with old boyfriend pics in them and so does my husband. Our kids have seen them and could care less. His sister has a picture of him and his first girlfriend hanging on her wall (with a ton of other pictures) not because she longs for his ex, but because it was a nice picture of them and the picture reminds her of the situation (it was a family picnic). I thought it was a lovely picture and thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I kept them when I did my dh's scrapbook. They are part of his past and I get to keep him. :) I kept pictures of my exes too. They are in albums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I'm of the marriage is a new start group. I'm not interested in old pics of either of us with others. Now my mother thinks it's just darling to make a scrapbook with pictures of me and old boyfriends. :001_huh: Go figure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockey Mom Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 My Dh views his first marriage as one of the biggest mistakes of his life. He would be upset if I put it in a scrapbook for him. In fact, I think he would view it as an insult. I suppose that's why he doesn't have any pictures from that time in his life. She wouldn't allow him to be around his family, so they don't have any either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. DH was engaged once and only brought 3 girls (including me) home to meet the parents out of those he dated. I don't think he harbors any ill will toward any of them. I will ask him his opinion though. For some reason, it doesn't bother me to see pics of his old flames. For my album, I will also ask him what he thinks. He has seen pics of my ex. I'm the one that wanted out of my first marriage, but I don't harbor any ill will toward the man (I did at first though). There are pictures of me with my mom (in my first wedding dress) that I will NEVER get rid of -- she is gone now. I may talk to him and just end up putting them in a little box for each of us that is out of the way. He never looks at his old girlfriend pics anyway. Hs says he can't remember not having me in his life. Thanks again so much for your opinions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 If I found any old girlfriend pics around here I'd stomp on em. And I got rid of any of my high school boyfriends too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I would not include any of them, nor would I want them in my house. I'd have to think about whether I'd just toss them or send them back to whoever had given those pics to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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