fundraising for children's activities- not participating....

[battlemaiden]

My two oldest are finishing up their first year with Sea Cadets. I am so thankful for the program, it is an outstanding opportunity for my boys, and I'm happy to pay whatever is necessary to keep them properly uniformed, outfitted, etc.

 

But I just got the email for a "parents meeting" to discuss fundraising ideas. Just the thought gives me the hibbie jibbies. I hate fundraising. But I'm also not completely anti-social and I don't want to set up any bad blood within the "ranks" of families. I do so little already because it is rarely convenient for me to bring the younger kids. The fundraising will be actual goods and services, so it isn't exactly putting a net out at the traffic light.

 

Enough details. Sorry. :blush:

 

How do you politely NOT participate in an activity that your children are involved in?

 

Thanks.

 

Jo

[Vida Winter]

I'd rather make a $20 per child donation to the organization in lieu of participating in selling goods. That would probably be more than the "profits" that the kids could earn selling junk nobody wants.

 

Then again, they may come up with something entirely reasonable - a potluck and raffle would not be objectionable to me, depending on how it is handled. We live in a small town and people do a lot of fund raisers -- it is the only way things get done for the kids around here. But people are careful not to be obnoxious about it.

 

Years ago we were involved in a children's choir that held a dessert auction which went over very well (event held at a local high school cafeteria; everyone seated at tables, children performed solos and duets in between auctioning off desserts). Many people volunteered to make fabulous desserts and some sold for quite a high price. I think there was also a small charge for tickets to attend the dessert auction -- each child got two tickets free but additional tickets cost $3. The extended families of the kids in the choir got a huge kick out of seeing their kids perform.

 

Our local 4-H does a huge fund-raiser every year. They get the kids to get donations from local vendors and they have a radio auction. They have it down to an art - each child is assigned a vendor to ask about giving a donation. One vendor per child. The donation is based on what they donated last year, like a gift certificate for two lattes. The vendor gets free advertising, and the kid who solicits them only has to work about an hour and they're *completely* done. Of course they have been doing this for years and it goes fairly smoothly.

 

So I guess I don't know what to say to you - maybe get involved in the meeting so you can have some say in what goes on, and if they decide to do something you don't want to do, either make a donation (or not - you shouldn't have to do anything).

 

Dana

[Margo out of lurking]

I'd rather make a $20 per child donation to the organization in lieu of participating in selling goods.

 

One of the worst things about ps, imo, was the garbage they wanted kids to sell. We never participated in any of it. One of the added benefits of hsing has been the lack of fundraising. However, it looks like it's finally coming up in a few months for dd's soccer team. I plan to just write a check directly to the team.

[Lolly]

My kids activities require different types of fundraising. For one, I simply make a donation to cover the cost of the materials the fundraiser is raising money for. (It requires the kids to hit the streets.) The other team raises $ through selling gift cards. The team gets a percentage of the sales. Grocery stores are included in the available cards (actually, almost every store you can imagine is included). I easily make my $400 fundraising for the year by buying cards for things I would already be spending money on. We eat enough to make it rather quickly.:tongue_smilie:

[LidiyaDawn]

My kids activities require different types of fundraising. For one, I simply make a donation to cover the cost of the materials the fundraiser is raising money for. (It requires the kids to hit the streets.) The other team raises $ through selling gift cards. The team gets a percentage of the sales. Grocery stores are included in the available cards (actually, almost every store you can imagine is included). I easily make my $400 fundraising for the year by buying cards for things I would already be spending money on. We eat enough to make it rather quickly.:tongue_smilie:

 

Now I'd rather take the kids out and sell chocolate bars door-to-door than do that gift card thing :laugh:

 

They had that one going here in one of dd14's activities the other year and I wouldn't do it - I didn't want our money tied up in gift cards. I don't always know how much I'm going to spend on groceries/etc -- it changes a lot. If I went ahead and bought the gift cards, then we're stuck if we need that money for something else.

 

The adults in charge kept saying that very line to me "already spending money on" .. and I kept saying "but I don't KNOW if I'll be spending that amount of money there!" ... growl. LOL

[NanceXToo]

Some organizations have a fundraising opt out where you agree to pay $15 or $20 instead of doing the fundraiser. Personally, I'd rather do that. Other than allowing my daughter to sell Girl Scout cookies yearly, I try to avoid fundraisers like the plague for all the various extra curricular activities, my older daughter's school, etc.

[Melinda in VT]

I find out the target goal of the fundraiser, divide by the number of children in the organization, multiply by the number of MY children in the organization, and write out a check directly to the organization. :D

 

I hate fundraising.

[bettyandbob]

my dd is in activity that requires fund raising. They gave us a choice this year--we could opt out if we wrote a check for $50. This group has girls in 1st through 12th grades. Out of the 38, 7th and 8th graders (my dd's group) 36 parents wrote the check.

 

I knew fundraising was required when I signed up. The vast majority of activities have a fundraising component. I liked having the pay a fee option. I also like the way some boy scout troops handle it by giving each of the boys credit based on how much they sell, so that when it comes time to go to camp in the summer some of the boys have to pay tuition and some don't. At least that's the way it was when my ds was in scouts.

[Haiku]

How do you politely NOT participate in an activity that your children are involved in?

 

 

We just make a donation in lieu of fundraising. For us it's usually pretty easy because the kids' sports sell food as fundraisers and we just say, "We'd rather not sell that, it's not vegan. Here's a donation instead." When my son played baseball (which he will NEVER do again ... but that's a different story ;) ), they actually gave you the option when registering to do a buy-out instead of the fundraiser. We just added $25 to our registration fee.

 

Tara

[Harriet Vane]

I just write a check directly to the organization. When approached about participating in fundraising, I just say, "The organization retains the full amount if I write a check, as opposed to just a portion if we sell things, so that's how I choose to support the organization."

[angela in ohio]

I find out the target goal of the fundraiser, divide by the number of children in the organization, multiply by the number of MY children in the organization, and write out a check directly to the organization. :D

 

I hate fundraising.

 

This.

 

Unless the fundraising requires hard labor on the part of participating dc. Then I am fine with it, because they are earning their way. :001_smile:

[DianeW88]

Wow, for what amount are you all writing these checks? :001_huh: My dd participated in the drill team at our local high school and she was required to get $1,000 worth of sponsor donations. At at least $200 a piece. Yes, that was the minimum any sponsor could donate. She was also required to get 20 little girls to sign up for a "drill clinic" and performance at half time during a football game....at $25 a pop.....which she did as well. I was NOT willing to write a check to cover either of those donations. Not to mention, if the school found out the girl was attempting that, she got "points" taken away and the school wouldn't accept the money. :001_huh: Just one more reason why we've homeschooled all these years. :D

[Tutor]

I think that in your shoes I would enthusiastically support whatever fund-raising event I thought would be most profitable and least annoying and strongly encourage that a door remain open for people to opt-out of the fundraiser if they so choose by making a donation to the organization they can afford.

 

This way you are acknowledging the need to raise funds but also remaining sensitive to the feelings of those who may not want to participate in such an activity and feel more comfortable simply making a donation (including you).

[Upstatemamma]

In a situation where there is stuff to sell you could always just but some yourself and be done with it.

[Haiku]

She was also required to get 20 little girls to sign up for a "drill clinic" and performance at half time during a football game....at $25 a pop.....which she did as well.

 

Wow, I can't imagine an organization requiring that of a child. I would *never* want my kids to be approached by another kid about participating in an activity that they have to pay for so that the other child can fulfill some sort of quota. I would be mighty p*ssed about that.

 

Tara

[littlebug42]

My oldest daughter is very interested in theatre and a local children's theatre recently opened its doors here. For participation, you have to pay $85 just to be in the show and commit to $120 in ticket sales. We don't participate. She does other shows different places for free.

 

We sell girl scout cookies. Someone from her choir recently mentioned the idea of a fundraiser and pretty much every parent said they would rather just cover costs as they come up rather than participate in yet another fundraiser.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

My two oldest are finishing up their first year with Sea Cadets. I am so thankful for the program, it is an outstanding opportunity for my boys, and I'm happy to pay whatever is necessary to keep them properly uniformed, outfitted, etc.

 

But I just got the email for a "parents meeting" to discuss fundraising ideas. Just the thought gives me the hibbie jibbies. I hate fundraising. But I'm also not completely anti-social and I don't want to set up any bad blood within the "ranks" of families. I do so little already because it is rarely convenient for me to bring the younger kids. The fundraising will be actual goods and services, so it isn't exactly putting a net out at the traffic light.

 

Enough details. Sorry. :blush:

 

How do you politely NOT participate in an activity that your children are involved in?

 

Thanks.

 

Jo

 

Fundraisers that I've been happy to have my kids in included tree sales (not in HI) and car washes. I feel like those are things where the kids are providing a good product or work in return for funds.

 

I could see huli huli chicken or a plate dinner sale or pancake breakfast or several other local options doing well.

 

I would be totally against selling something at jumped up prices (gift wrap, popcorn, candy). And standing on Kam Highway with a net is right out.

 

I think that a fund raiser should be used not only to teach out kids that they need to be thrifty and hard workers, but that they need to be good neighbors. What I mean is that selling $0.95 worth of popcorn in a tub for $10 is not giving good value (and comes close to being less than honest, imho).

 

I think that it is worth going to the meeting so that you can express some concerns about how money is raised and providing both a buy out for those who want to and a fund raising option for those who need to.

 

BTW, the most successful fund raisers for groups I've been in have involved various marathon efforts (bowl-a-thon, swim-a-thon with a pledge per pin or lap). The CPOs on our last base did a weekend long aerobic-a-thon where they ran on a threadmill or biked on a stationary bike for all four days of a long weekend (Fri-Mon). Has the unit considered teaming up with the local CPOs or First Class Petty Officer association for a fund raiser? They are usually pretty savvy on what works locally. And there is a natural connection between the groups.

[Melinda in VT]

Wow, for what amount are you all writing these checks? :001_huh: My dd participated in the drill team at our local high school and she was required to get $1,000 worth of sponsor donations. At at least $200 a piece. Yes, that was the minimum any sponsor could donate. She was also required to get 20 little girls to sign up for a "drill clinic" and performance at half time during a football game....at $25 a pop.....which she did as well. I was NOT willing to write a check to cover either of those donations. Not to mention, if the school found out the girl was attempting that, she got "points" taken away and the school wouldn't accept the money. :001_huh: Just one more reason why we've homeschooled all these years. :D

 

I think the largest check I've written in place of fundraising was around $300.

 

I would not allow my kids to participate in an activity that required the level of fundraising you are talking about.

[DianeW88]

Wow, I can't imagine an organization requiring that of a child. I would *never* want my kids to be approached by another kid about participating in an activity that they have to pay for so that the other child can fulfill some sort of quota. I would be mighty p*ssed about that.

 

Tara

 

Well, around here, all the little girls just love being "Future XYZ High School Drill Team Girls". She had no problem knocking on doors and signing them all up in one day. She also knew the level of fundraising that would be required when she decided she wanted to participate in drill. She also knew I was washing my hands of the whole mess, because I don't do fundraising. It was a lesson well learned for her. She's also 17 years old, so she's old enough to take responsibility for the activities she chooses to participate in on her own.

[Plucky]

Wow, for what amount are you all writing these checks? :001_huh: My dd participated in the drill team at our local high school and she was required to get $1,000 worth of sponsor donations. At at least $200 a piece. Yes, that was the minimum any sponsor could donate. She was also required to get 20 little girls to sign up for a "drill clinic" and performance at half time during a football game....at $25 a pop.....which she did as well. I was NOT willing to write a check to cover either of those donations. Not to mention, if the school found out the girl was attempting that, she got "points" taken away and the school wouldn't accept the money. :001_huh: Just one more reason why we've homeschooled all these years. :D

 

We wouldn't participate in an activity like this. Those amounts are ridiculous.

[angela in ohio]

I think the largest check I've written in place of fundraising was around $300.

 

I would not allow my kids to participate in an activity that required the level of fundraising you are talking about.

 

:iagree:

[cindergretta]

My oldest dd is a competitive (or "premier" ::rolleyes:: ) soccer player. For two years we were on a team that did fundraisers. Oy, they drove me batty!

 

For the last year, she has been on a team where we just pay out of pocket. Ugh! Seriously, we paid over $1200 for one year of soccer. :glare: Now I really appreciate those fundraisers! I had NO idea how much money they were saving us.

 

And we didn't do the "sell this or that" fundraisers. The first year, we did 2 poker nights. They brought in decent money. (They were coupled with a sign - up auction of donated goods.) The 2nd year we did a Bingo night. It was SO wildly successful that we didn't even need another fundraiser! :D (It was also coupled with a donated goods written auction.)

 

There was one time when they decided to sell wreaths. My dad looked over the materials and wrote a check instead! :lol:

 

My girls sell Girl Scout cookies. If I had more money than Midas, I would just write the checks left and right. But I don't and I want my dc to participate in activities. So I see the fundraising as a necessary evil. :tongue_smilie: (There are some girls in their troop who never participate in the cookie or fall product sales at all and they bother me. They reap the benefits of my and my dds' work without putting forth any effort. This is a new phenomenon and I think the leader is fixing to institute a "pay to play" policy. I think that is good!)

[swimmermom3]

My kids activities require different types of fundraising. For one, I simply make a donation to cover the cost of the materials the fundraiser is raising money for. (It requires the kids to hit the streets.) The other team raises $ through selling gift cards. The team gets a percentage of the sales. Grocery stores are included in the available cards (actually, almost every store you can imagine is included). I easily make my $400 fundraising for the year by buying cards for things I would already be spending money on. We eat enough to make it rather quickly.:tongue_smilie:

 

Oh my! I forgot about that obligation. Thanks so much for reminding me to go buy scrip. The swim-athon is not going to cover it all.:tongue_smilie:

[happypamama]

My girls sell Girl Scout cookies. If I had more money than Midas, I would just write the checks left and right. But I don't and I want my dc to participate in activities. So I see the fundraising as a necessary evil. :tongue_smilie: (There are some girls in their troop who never participate in the cookie or fall product sales at all and they bother me. They reap the benefits of my and my dds' work without putting forth any effort. This is a new phenomenon and I think the leader is fixing to institute a "pay to play" policy. I think that is good!)

 

While I see your point, the non-selling girls in the troop could be from families like ours. We don't have huge extended families, and the grandparents would rather make a small donation than buy overpriced stuff. We live in a rural area (not many neighbors), and my husband works for a very small company. We're not super social sorts of people and don't have tons of friends; the ones we do have are young families like ours without a lot of extra money. If we were to bug our few neighbors, coworkers, and friends to buy overpriced stuff from us, then we'd really need to do the same when they came around, and I don't really have extra money to do that. So perhaps selling cookies and such really isn't a feasible fundraiser for those families. Maybe there is some other way in which they could contribute though, or a different type of fundraiser that would work. Our homeschool co-op often asks for baked good donations to sell at other events -- car wash, history day, etc., and I always donate something for that.

 

DD's dance studio has all sorts of fundraisers -- lollipops, cookies, pizza, subs, etc. -- from which you get a portion of whatever you sell, to go toward your specific recital costume costs. So we don't do the fundraisers; we just pay for DD's costume costs flat-out, and that saves us money in the long run (plus we don't have junk around that we don't want). I do buy a couple of boxes of GS cookies each year from some friends of ours (who are also in our dance studio), but that's it.

 

OP, I vote for going to the meeting and discussing a variety of fundraising options, not just selling stuff. But if you don't go, you miss the opportunity to share your feelings on the subject.

[cindergretta]

While I see your point, the non-selling girls in the troop could be from families like ours. We don't have huge extended families, and the grandparents would rather make a small donation than buy overpriced stuff. We live in a rural area (not many neighbors), and my husband works for a very small company. We're not super social sorts of people and don't have tons of friends; the ones we do have are young families like ours without a lot of extra money. If we were to bug our few neighbors, coworkers, and friends to buy overpriced stuff from us, then we'd really need to do the same when they came around, and I don't really have extra money to do that. So perhaps selling cookies and such really isn't a feasible fundraiser for those families. Maybe there is some other way in which they could contribute though, or a different type of fundraiser that would work. Our homeschool co-op often asks for baked good donations to sell at other events -- car wash, history day, etc., and I always donate something for that.

 

DD's dance studio has all sorts of fundraisers -- lollipops, cookies, pizza, subs, etc. -- from which you get a portion of whatever you sell, to go toward your specific recital costume costs. So we don't do the fundraisers; we just pay for DD's costume costs flat-out, and that saves us money in the long run (plus we don't have junk around that we don't want). I do buy a couple of boxes of GS cookies each year from some friends of ours (who are also in our dance studio), but that's it.

 

OP, I vote for going to the meeting and discussing a variety of fundraising options, not just selling stuff. But if you don't go, you miss the opportunity to share your feelings on the subject.

 

I think you missed my point. :confused: I am saying that it is annoying when parents put their dc in activities, refuse to do the fundraisers, and let their dc benefit from the work of other families. If you are writing a check as opposed to buying cookies, that isn't allowing your dc to benefit from my dc's work.

 

If all the kids on the soccer team had a massive carwash and 14 of the 16 girls washed cars for 6 hours to raise the money for the tournament, would I have an issue with the parent who wrote a check for their share or would I have an issue with the parent who just assumed that the carwash would pay her dd's share even though her dd didn't show up and work? Do you see the difference?

 

I don't care how the funding happens, what I care about is that everyone who is *able,* contributes. There are times when families absolutely can't, (mom is sick, dad is working 8 days a week, and so forth) and that doesn't bother me at all. That is loving your neighbor and being willing to provide for a child who otherwise couldn't participate. But if it is parental unwillingness to fundraise while not writing a check and just letting other people foot the bill for your dc, that irks. :glare:

 

Does that make sense?

[angela in ohio]

I think you missed my point. :confused: I am saying that it is annoying when parents put their dc in activities, refuse to do the fundraisers, and let their dc benefit from the work of other families. If you are writing a check as opposed to buying cookies, that isn't allowing your dc to benefit from my dc's work.

 

Maybe the confusion is because I haven't seen anyone say that they are just skating by on the work of others in this thread. Everyone is talking about writing a check in lieu of fundraising.

[happypamama]

I think you missed my point. :confused: I am saying that it is annoying when parents put their dc in activities, refuse to do the fundraisers, and let their dc benefit from the work of other families. If you are writing a check as opposed to buying cookies, that isn't allowing your dc to benefit from my dc's work.

 

Oh, yes, I see now; I must have missed your original point. I didn't realize that in that particular case (people not selling cookies), it was an option to send a check instead. Yes, that would be annoying and unfair if they weren't selling cookies OR sending in a check, assuming there wasn't some extenuating circumstance (and if so, I'd expect that the parent would provide some sort of "in kind" contribution of time or something).

[cindergretta]

Maybe the confusion is because I haven't seen anyone say that they are just skating by on the work of others in this thread. Everyone is talking about writing a check in lieu of fundraising.

 

Oh good grief! I didn't say anyone was doing it. I mentioned *in passing* at the bottom of my post that it is something that irritates me, when people *do* do it. For heaven's sake, I had no idea adding an addtional thought would cause such confusion!

[cindergretta]

Oh, yes, I see now; I must have missed your original point. I didn't realize that in that particular case (people not selling cookies), it was an option to send a check instead. Yes, that would be annoying and unfair if they weren't selling cookies OR sending in a check, assuming there wasn't some extenuating circumstance (and if so, I'd expect that the parent would provide some sort of "in kind" contribution of time or something).

 

Thank you. Yes, that was all I was saying. :D

[regentrude]

(There are some girls in their troop who never participate in the cookie or fall product sales at all and they bother me. They reap the benefits of my and my dds' work without putting forth any effort.

 

Some people have no family in the whole country and parents at whose workplace selling fundraisers is a no-no. How do you know they're not writing a check?

 

Btw, the really curious thing to me is why people expect OTHER people to fund their children's activities by buying stuff. Why should they? If I want my kid to play an expensive sport, how is that somebody else's responsibility but mine?

[cindergretta]

The only reason I know with Girl Scouts is because I am the treasurer. :glare: I think I know from where the money is coming.

 

And no one expects anyone to support their dc's activities. :confused: But fundraisers are *proven* affective. People do buy horrid giftwrap and overpriced candy bars to help different organizations and groups. Many don't, but many do. And I don't get the idea that anyone *expects* anyone to pay for their dc. But if people want to buy the stuff or make a donation, why not?

 

Not to mention that many people aren't able to afford food, much less for their dc to be involved in anything. Fundraising allows dc to participate who might not otherwise be able to.

 

Why the negative intent?

[regentrude]

 

Why the negative intent?

 

Because it IS putting others under pressure by having little kids show up at the door begging them to buy their stuff, or by bringing the fundraiser to work and nagging coworkers to participate.

In the first case, it makes it hard on people to say no to the poor kid (subtle pressure - but pressure nevertheless) and they are coerced into buying what they would never otherwise because they feel guilty about sending the kid away empty handed. In the second case, with workplace dynamics, peer pressure and possible involvement of superiors (just imagine the boss' kid being the one having the fundraiser), that is just a totally inappropriate situation.

 

People could choose to support an organization because they want to. As soon as you offer them stuff and ask directly for donations in any of the above mentioned scenarios, you're exerting pressure.

If I could not afford my kids' sport, we'd choose something that's free, but I would not dream of nagging or guilting everybody I know into paying for overpriced junk.

[Donna]

We don't do fundraisers. When the time comes, I simply ask how much they expected to make with the child selling the required minimum amount and write a check.