Got my first taste of a negative reaction to HSing today...

[kristinannie]

I was at dinner with a couple of good friends of mine tonight and one of the ladies started going off on her inlaws who HS and how ridiculous it is and that they are indoctrinating their kids. She was also concerned because they NEVER seem to be in school. I haven't told her that I plan to HS. I guess I have only talked about it with my family (who have been surprisingly nonjudgmental) and the people on HSing message boards (who obviously approve of it).

 

It was the first time I had some doubt placed in my heart about this process. I don't want my kids to be shunned by their friends. I strongly feel that God has led me to this decision and I know that not all of God's commands make you popular.

 

How do you all deal with these kinds of comments? I just kept my mouth shut. She will find out I am HSing when we start school and then she can decide whether to be friends with me or not. It was just a shock to my system tonight!

[Prudent]

Some people will find something to disapprove of no matter what you do. If it's not homeschooling she finds ridiculous, it will be something else.

 

Do what God has called you to and disregard the naysayers.

[prairiegirl]

It does hurt when your friends and family do not agree with your decision but (and I tell this to myself all of the time ) they don't have to. This decision is between God, my dh and myself. It doesn't matter if anyone else agrees with it or not. I have been hsing for 7 years now and I still have to give myself a talking to every now and then. ;) I have learned not to talk about our homeschooling with those that I know disagree with it. It makes me sad that I have to censor my discussions but that is just how it is.

 

During the times that you feel sad and discouraged, always remember that you feel this is God's desire for your family. That knowledge will help you get through the hard times.

[Sue G in PA]

It helps to keep in mind that comments like that are usually made by people who feel threatened by homeschoolers or who are, in some way, unsure about their own decision to public school their children. Of course, it could be that their inlaws are not providing a good example of how homeschooling works? Lots of different reasons. It is usually best to keep your mouth shut in situations like that unless you are prepared to debate. :D Don't let the comments get to you. You are doing the right thing...what is best for YOUR family at this time. Don't doubt.

[Colleen in NS]

I was at dinner with a couple of good friends of mine tonight and one of the ladies started going off on her inlaws who HS and how ridiculous it is and that they are indoctrinating their kids. She was also concerned because they NEVER seem to be in school. I haven't told her that I plan to HS. I guess I have only talked about it with my family (who have been surprisingly nonjudgmental) and the people on HSing message boards (who obviously approve of it).

 

It was the first time I had some doubt placed in my heart about this process. I don't want my kids to be shunned by their friends. I strongly feel that God has led me to this decision and I know that not all of God's commands make you popular.

 

How do you all deal with these kinds of comments? I just kept my mouth shut. She will find out I am HSing when we start school and then she can decide whether to be friends with me or not. It was just a shock to my system tonight!

 

I do exactly as you did - I keep my mouth shut. When I first started homeschooling, I got a two hour grilling one day from someone who cares about us - it was uncomfortable, but I kept my cool and answered questions as objectively as possible. I don't bring it up with people; I just answer questions as they are asked. The other day at the pool, a man with pre-schoolers asked me if there was no school today (it was 1 p.m.), and I just said, "No, we are homeschoolers, and we operate on a different schedule from the public school system." And that was it. You just have to answer questions as they come, instead of volunteering info. to anyone except those who you know will be supportive, and be objective, confident, and cheerful about it. Let your results speak for themselves over the years. It won't go perfectly, but if it's your conviction to do it, then don't worry about all the other stuff - you'll get things worked out.

[boscopup]

I'm so sorry it came from someone close to you. That's so much harder to deal with.

 

I was getting our propane tank filled this week, and the guy asked about school, so I said we homeschooled. He said the only problem he had with homeschooling was that the kids can talk to adults, but they don't know how to talk to children their own age. He then went on to tell me about a family he's friends with who homeschool, and he said their kids didn't know how to play with and talk to his kids. I bit my tongue and didn't say "Well, maybe the problem is your kids." :tongue_smilie: My son was in private school for a year and a half. The only thing he learned there socially was how to have a bad attitude and how to fight with his brother. I would LOVE for him to willingly talk to adults! That's actually one thing I'm hoping for from homeschooling!

[kalanamak]

If this is a good friend, she might become mortified when she finds out you are homeschooling (of course, she may not remember what she said at all). It might have been more of an IL rant than anything else. I would, if this was a good friend in the sense I mean when I say good in friendship measures, have said, early on: Oh really. We have been considering it. What are your ILs doing that is so alarming to you?

 

 

All in a very neutral tone, of course. Often, just asking questions, rather than defending or even offering opinions, lets people vent a bit, and then, steam and smoke gone, you can see what the underneath issue is.

[ChandlerMom]

It helps to keep in mind that comments like that are usually made by people who feel threatened by homeschoolers or who are, in some way, unsure about their own decision to public school their children. Of course, it could be that their inlaws are not providing a good example of how homeschooling works? Lots of different reasons. It is usually best to keep your mouth shut in situations like that unless you are prepared to debate. :D Don't let the comments get to you. You are doing the right thing...what is best for YOUR family at this time. Don't doubt.

 

:iagree:

There is perhaps nothing that people find as threatening as when you choose to raise your kids differently than them. Most of us first see that in our own mom or MIL when our first dc was born. :D It seems to hit on some primal insecurity on their own choices and a sense of defying the "social contract". It elicits a visceral response form folks who honestly have no reason to give a hoot at all! :lol:

 

It starts with whether we breastfeed and how long; paci or thumb or neither; cosleep or crib; on and on it goes. ps or hs is just the next one. Don't take it personally. For good or bad, your friendship will likely sail just fine thru this -- good odds that once she hears you are hsing she'll keep her trap shut around you. ;)

 

Beyond that, this is a good time to arm yourself with facts and knowledge. Those with strongest anti-hs opinions usually have the least reason behind their certitude of the evils of hsing. :lol: There are plenty of hsing websites with the top arguments against (and counter arguments for) hsing. Read them. Then, have fun with it. I'm fond of the "shock and awe" approach and enjoy rattling off the research studies from the last few decades when "socialization" and "college readiness" come up. :D [bottom line: hs kids do as well or better than their ps peers in psychological wellness testing, have higher average college entrance scores, and some colleges are now actively recruiting hs'rs because they do better in college classes.]

 

Deep breaths. Follow your heart and your calling. Let God take care of the rest, including annoyingly judgmental friends. :p

[Guest]

Homeschooling is one of those hot-button parenting issues like attachment parenting, or working moms, or helicopter parenting... all those things that set people off. Just like with those other issues, most people have not read much about what they are attacking, know either no one or only one or two examples of those who practice it.

 

So remember that it has nothing whatever to do with you, but much to do with our society, and with -- as an earlier poster noted -- how threatened some people feel when your choices are different from their own. If you can not take it at all personally, that helps a HUGE amount.

[Just Robyn]

I have run into people who had some sort of negative experience with homeschooling, be it that they were homeschooled and didn't like it or they saw a negative example of homeschooling. If they are really my friend they will trust that I will not be making the mistake they saw happening. If it is someone I don't really know then I might walk away or I might try to educate them a little depending on the situation.

 

ETA: The point is, just because your friend has a problem with someone else homeschooling, doesn't mean they will have a problem with you homeschooling.

[NanceXToo]

I'd want to just get it over with. I'd send her an email and say, "So, this might seem kind of awkward after tonight's dinner conversation, but I may as well let you know that I plan to homeschool my kids. I know not everybody agrees with it, but I've researched it a lot and I feel it is the right choice for my family. I hope that I will have your support and that we will continue to be friends, even though this isn't a choice that you would make for your family."

 

I'm sure she will feel absolutely mortified and will say all the right things- and if she doesn't, well, she's not all that good a friend then.

[Mama2Many4]

When people say rude things about my homeschooling, I remind them that my children test YEARS ahead of their public school counterparts, study things such as Shakespeare and classical music composers as well as "real" art. My children are healthy, happy and well round people. They interact with people of ALL ages and know how to behave in public since they are not influenced by only children their own age on a daily basis.

 

I'm proud of my children, their accomplishments and the people they are becoming. I could give a hoot about what other people think about homeschooling. Once I name off all of these things, the person realizes that they missed out on a GREAT education themselves in this way. I know I did!

[3MonkeysMama]

I agree with what everyone else has had to say. I will share that one of my oldest and closest friend is not a fan of hs'ing. She works in the ps system and is a huge proponent of it. We had many discussions on the matter, but when it came down to it we agreed to see things differently. We both had the responsibility to do what was right for our dc. For a long time I just didn't tell her anything about what we did during our school time. But now we can both share what is going on with our kids educations, what they struggle with, what they are strong in etc. If your friend is truly your friend, she will support you no matter what. And will probably be so sorry that she offended you. Be open with her. Maybe once she sees how awesome your experience is (and we know it will be :D) she will rethink her whole position on it!!

[kristinannie]

:iagree:

There is perhaps nothing that people find as threatening as when you choose to raise your kids differently than them. Most of us first see that in our own mom or MIL when our first dc was born. :D It seems to hit on some primal insecurity on their own choices and a sense of defying the "social contract". It elicits a visceral response form folks who honestly have no reason to give a hoot at all! :lol:

 

It starts with whether we breastfeed and how long; paci or thumb or neither; cosleep or crib; on and on it goes. ps or hs is just the next one. Don't take it personally. For good or bad, your friendship will likely sail just fine thru this -- good odds that once she hears you are hsing she'll keep her trap shut around you. ;) :p

 

You are totally right about this. My MIL wasn't able to breastfeed because of her blood pressure meds and she was VERY rude to me about breastfeeding my oldest son. I mean, sometimes I had to leave the room or else I would have hit her. She saw how good it was for him though and didn't make a single comment about the second and third babies. Hopefully this situation will be the same way and that people will make comments on the first kid, but they realize they were wrong with the second two!

[HS Mom in NC]

I was not clear on if they are generally opposed to the idea of homeschooling or they were taking issue with a specific homeschooling family. Even if they are opposed to it categorically, it is not a personal attack on you, just like taking issue with ps is not a personal attack on individual parents who send their kids to ps. (I'm not sure you took it that way, but I know many a new homeschooler who did and it caused unnecessary angst.)

Theory #1

Are they being unschooled? That might explain the comment about never being in school. Since most homeschoolers do not unschool, these people may not understand that there are very different methods. After 11 years of homeschooling I seem to hear complaints about unschoolers more than any group. Many people who don't homeschool or homeschoolers who didn't do much research and aren't exposed to wider ranges of homeschoolers aren't aware of unschooling and aren't able to distinguish between unschooling and other approaches. There will always be bad examples of homeschoolers (in every approach) out in the world just like there are bad examples of products of ps and private schools.

 

Theory #2

There are also some homeschoolers who only do "school at home" which means they buy school in a box and only require the child to do what would have been assigned in a school setting with those materials. This usually requires about 1.5-2 hours of homeschooling a day and then they're done with that grade (don't even get me started on traditional grade levels) by early spring at the latest. It really irritates me when homeschoolers do this-obviously a child completing only 2 hours a day (assuming they are not preschoolers or kindergärtners) means the child is not really being challenged or being given a very broad education. I think it reflects badly on the homeschool community. It should be a wake up call to those whose children are in institutions that mass production "conveyor belt" education is terribly inefficient and substandard.

 

General Rule

I think there are environments where people should feel free to discuss their views on education whatever those views are. If this was one of those environments, then just get used to it. Feel free to state your views too. If it is a social environment where candid discussions about educational choices are not acceptable, then everyone has to keep their views to themselves. I think it's either or. Friends don't have to agree with each other about education to stay friends. To each his own.

[PentecostalMom]

Some people will find something to disapprove of no matter what you do. If it's not homeschooling she finds ridiculous, it will be something else.

 

Do what God has called you to and disregard the naysayers.

:iagree:

[MerryAtHope]

For me it depends on who the comments come from--and also my experience. If you haven't homeschooled yet, then you don't have a lot to offer to such a conversation other than your hopes of what it will be like, or things you've read etc... One of the biggest naysayers in my life is now fully supportive--because she's seen how my kids have fluorished (and that I don't keep them in the closet all day, ha ha!). I went from listening (when I wasn't yet homeschooling) to asking a few questions (when I was near starting) to biding my time for a chance to say "that's why I homeschool" when she mentioned some of the drawbacks of PS. Because I had taken time to listen, to say, "that's something to consider," etc... to a person I respected, she also respected me when I had a different view to present and had other things to think about.

 

I don't feel I have to defend hsing to anyone though. Some people aren't ever going to like it; saying "we enjoy it," or "it works for us" is tough to argue with. But if they don't like it, that's ok.

 

Another person I know who thought she'd never homeschool is now homeschooling--so you never know who might totally change their mind and opinion of hsing, LOL!

 

Merry :-)

[debbielong]

I agree with a pp who recommended a quick email acknowledging the awkwardness. I thought her words were perfect:).

 

Meanwhile, I generally keep my mouth shut when folks are ranting about homeschooling. Indeed, most folks rant when they know little or are jealous of or personally hurt by someone else's choices. But I just couldn't help myself when someone accused me of "indoctrinating" my kids. "Well," I responded, "someone is going to indoctrinate them - either the government or me. I'd rather have them be indoctrinated by someone who can live within a budget."

[stripe]

I wonder if this attitude predominates when public schools are assumed to be good.

 

Although I saw an interview that many Americans believe the school system as a whole is bad but their local school is good.

 

I noticed that in a discussion piece at the NYT website. People assumed homeschoolers are learning nothing and are religious extremists (no learning about other faiths, no discussion of issues like evolution) AND that public schools are fantastic. I don't think either is particularly true.

[Hunter]

People are not mirrors. Just because they say something to you doesn't make it true. So if she tells you that you are a bad parent, it doesn't mean you are a bad parent. In fact, what she says, says much more about HER than the person she is talking to, or about.

 

It is also a basic human right not to have to explain yourself to others. You don't need to get their permission by winning them over with a perfect defense. They do not have the right to be the aggressor and force you into a defensive position. You do not have to play their game, unless you want to.

 

We have the right to try things. We have the right to make mistakes. We have the right to be "wrong" and do it anyway. We have the right to do all these things without being forced to defend ourselves to others. If someone keeps pushing us into a defensive position that is a boundary cross and a human rights violation.

 

We are responsible to TRY to do our best for ourselves and our children. We are not responsible to be "right" or to always have a good verbal defense.

[ChandlerMom]

I wanted to add that people felt more free to openly challenge homeschooling as an option when I said, "we PLAN to..." than when I said, "we are..."

 

If what people think/say matters to you, you might find it easier to not disclose your plans to hsing until it is a fait accompli. :D Although I really liked the way PP worded the e-mail, your friend may be embarrassed enough to try to change your mind. Only you know your friend, but we do know she's willing to criticize he hsing friend to strangers, which doesn't reflect well on her character as a friend, now does it?

 

So, under the "forgiveness easier to get than permission" theorem, perhaps it is better to only discuss hsing with folks who can be supportive, at least until you've got a few months of hsing under your belt and you are less sensitive to perceived criticism of your choice. ;)

 

I also agree with the PP who said we shouldn't have to defend our choices. But whenever we do something outside the "norm" people will ask us about our choice, sometimes rudely. Since most questions come out of ignorance, I find a (non-defensively worded) rapid info session effective at, if nothing else, shutting them up. :lol: There was a post a while back about handling rude comments from strangers, which were often pointed and hilarious. :lol:

 

On these social Qs always remember YMMV. :)

[jvenice]

You know what to do...God called you to do it. That is what you need to know most of all. If it is someone you care about, you might decide to explain your choice---it is my experience that most people don't understand home schooling. HS parents tend to know much more about schooling in general than the average person. If you do your research and explain it, you can face them down no problem. I would start with something like, "Homeschooling isn't for everyone, but..."

[Haiku]

When we were in the process of adopting our son, a friend that I was spending a lot of time with felt the need to "confess" to me that she disapproves of adoption as she sees it as the "stealing" of poor children to be given to rich folks.

 

This was me: :confused: :blink: :eek: :angry: :willy_nilly: :svengo: :cursing: :banghead:

 

After I recovered and relocated my jaw to my head, I said, "Well, we obviously see things differently. We have chosen to do what we feel is right for our family and our son-to-be. We probably shouldn't discuss this issue anymore."

 

And we continued to be friends. She actually moved away before our son came home, but she left me a stuffed bunny to give to my son from her when he arrived.

 

So I guess what I am saying is, people will have all kinds of opinions about various aspects of life. That doesn't have to preclude being friends, and it certainly does not have to cause you to question your decisions about what is right for your family.

 

Tara

[SailorMom]

Eh - it's just ignorance. You'll be the good friend who enlightens them :)

I've converted many :lol:

Don't take it personally, and you will get used to it.

The first few years it can be tough - but really - it's worth and it works!!!

[Dinsfamily]

I wonder if this attitude predominates when public schools are assumed to be good.

 

Although I saw an interview that many Americans believe the school system as a whole is bad but their local school is good.

 

I noticed that in a discussion piece at the NYT website. People assumed homeschoolers are learning nothing and are religious extremists (no learning about other faiths, no discussion of issues like evolution) AND that public schools are fantastic. I don't think either is particularly true.

 

I've run into this. I have a good friend who isn't against hsing but thinks I'm crazy for not taking advantage of our great school system. Of course, she doesn't really want to discuss my reasons. It's fine, just a place where we disagree.

[Mommyfaithe]

I was at dinner with a couple of good friends of mine tonight and one of the ladies started going off on her inlaws who HS and how ridiculous it is and that they are indoctrinating their kids. She was also concerned because they NEVER seem to be in school. I haven't told her that I plan to HS. I guess I have only talked about it with my family (who have been surprisingly nonjudgmental) and the people on HSing message boards (who obviously approve of it).

 

It was the first time I had some doubt placed in my heart about this process. I don't want my kids to be shunned by their friends. I strongly feel that God has led me to this decision and I know that not all of God's commands make you popular.

 

How do you all deal with these kinds of comments? I just kept my mouth shut. She will find out I am HSing when we start school and then she can decide whether to be friends with me or not. It was just a shock to my system tonight!

 

Indoctrinate them??? INDOCTRINATE THEM?? Into what?? See, that would have (and has!) set me off. Is it indoctrination to ship them off to a school where they learn all sorts of habits and manners that are not in synch with our own families values and morals???? THAT my friend, is indoctrination!

 

Keeping my kids home and teaching them right from wrong, teaching them my morals and values, teaching them our religious traditions etc. is not indoctrination....it is called child rearing....and more people should do it!

 

ARG!!! Ignorant morons really bug me!! You should not take a single word of what that woman said to heart. Make decisions based on facts and research. Discuss with your husband and make educational and child rearing decisions together...without outside input. They are YOUR kids. You can not INDOCTRINATE them...you CAN instill in them your ideals....

 

Faithe

[ereks mom]

Some people will find something to disapprove of no matter what you do. If it's not homeschooling she finds ridiculous, it will be something else.

 

Do what God has called you to and disregard the naysayers.

 

:iagree:

[creekmom]

If you do decide to hs, it won't take you long to realize that some of your friendships won't survive. It's not that you can't agree to disagree, it's just that you'll need support on this journey and you won't have time to commit to friendships that are not encouraging. This forum is full of wonderful people who are in the same boat, but you need more than this forum. Join hs groups and make new friends - friendships with people who are supportive and encouraging are VITAL to your sanity when you choose the road less taken! :001_smile: :grouphug:

[momofabcd]

If this is a good friend, challenge her to see the other side. Thoroughly educate yourself on homeschooling and what's happening in the public school systems. Obviously, she's only going on all the negative things people say about homeschooling (news reports). She probably doesn't know anything about it. ie she's ignorant. Maybe if you are able to share all the positives, she won't be so vocal against something she doesn't have any clue about. I'd even go so far as to say that it's the public schools that are indoctrinating children with anti-american values that make our fore-fathers roll over in their graves.;)

[Rosy]

I'd want to just get it over with. I'd send her an email and say, "So, this might seem kind of awkward after tonight's dinner conversation, but I may as well let you know that I plan to homeschool my kids. I know not everybody agrees with it, but I've researched it a lot and I feel it is the right choice for my family. I hope that I will have your support and that we will continue to be friends, even though this isn't a choice that you would make for your family."

 

I'm sure she will feel absolutely mortified and will say all the right things- and if she doesn't, well, she's not all that good a friend then.

 

This is a great idea, and a great way to say it. Or you could just keep quiet if you don't foresee the issue coming up publicly again.

 

I think before I started, I was a bit obnoxious about telling people why it's the best choice and superior to those horrible public schools, and possibly even why it's the godly education option. At least my mom felt that way (she's a ps teacher). I think once you've been hs'ing for a while, you see the results--superior academic achievements, family closeness, good character, etc.--and you can stand on those. It definitely helps me when I'm talking to my mom to be able to tell her (or at least know for myself) how well my kids are doing and what great people they are.

 

Until that point, I think it's fair to tell people you're considering homeschooling, and you see many benefits to it and not get into anything more controversial than that.

[Gratia271]

Homeschooling is one of those hot-button parenting issues like attachment parenting, or working moms, or helicopter parenting... all those things that set people off. Just like with those other issues, most people have not read much about what they are attacking, know either no one or only one or two examples of those who practice it.

 

So remember that it has nothing whatever to do with you, but much to do with our society, and with -- as an earlier poster noted -- how threatened some people feel when your choices are different from their own. If you can not take it at all personally, that helps a HUGE amount.

 

:iagree: I am not one to argue nor defend my position to people because it presupposes that they are entitled to the same.

[kristinannie]

I just want to thank all of your for your support and wisdom. I know that anyone who homeschools is subject to animosity (especially by those ignorant about the issue). When God called me to this choice, I was very surprised UNTIL I started doing my due diligence. It soon became apparent to me that our school system is broken. I already was frustrated with that, but like others thought our school system was OK since it is decent on a national level. We actually moved a few months ago, in part, to get into the best school in our county.

 

Honestly, I have well formulated reasons now for what I am doing. I have talked to everyone in my immediate family using those reasons. I don't feel the need to tell my friends until we actually start homeschooling and they obviously notice that dc are not in school (althought most of my friends won't have kids in our school anyway since my kids go to preschool in the next town over).

 

I think that PP were right that this might be an issue between her and her inlaws anyway. She is VERY negative about her inlaws and always complains about them. It obviously wasn't a personal attack on me since she has no clue that we are considering this. I was not offended in that way. I was just so surprised to hear a rant against something I had come to believe in. I am glad I kept my mouth shut and will continue to do that until we are homeschooling veterans and I have more concrete things to say (or unless a close friend actually personally attacks my family).

 

I prayed a lot last night and in church this morning and this whole thing has strengthened my resolve that this is God's plan for my life. As soon as it is apparent that it is no longer God's plan, I will change things. Until then, I know He will bless me with the wisdom and the grace to carry this out in His name.

 

I love all of the support that I receive on this board. You are all such a blessing to me! Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

[Alphabetika]

A friend who would shun you for homeschooling is not a friend. ;)

[kalphs]

If the comment is directed towards myself/my family I respond to it.

For example Dh's parents flipped out when they discovered we were hsing Dd.

MIL and FIL made nasty, disparaging remarks, which I won't even bother to type in my post.

Dh and I simply said "You've had your turn to raise your children. It is now our turn to raise Dd. We are her parents and are doing what is best for her."

End of story period.

If the comment is made indirectly I ignore it unless my input is asked for.

If my input is asked for then I casually talk about hsing as it is the most natural thing in the world for parents to do with their children.

I have found using an easy going, calm response gets people to ask more questions because they are curious about hsing.

Edited January 17, 2011 by kalphs

[RootAnn]

How do you all deal with these kinds of comments?

 

I've had very little direct opposition to homeschooling my children. I had a neighbor who I thought was my friend and who I thought was supportive of homeschooling say, in reference to another parent pulling their children from PS to HS them, "Those poor kids! They'll be socially stunted for life!" :blink::confused1::ohmy::leaving:

 

She definitely showed her "Bilbo face." Funny thing is, she'd previously commented on how much better behaved my kids are compared to hers & her son still happily plays with mine to this day. :001_huh:

 

I am sometimes a little scared of the "schooling" that a few other families are (or in these particular cases, aren't) doing. When a new-to-HSing mom asks me questions about reporting (specifically, in our state, the lack of requirements for) or how to know if you are doing enough, I am a bit rueful because it would be relatively easy in our state to "get away with" not teaching one's children a la your friend's IL story (whether or not it is true).

 

However, I believe that most parents want what is best for their children. I hear stories like this and think my response might be, "Do you trust me to do what is best for my kids?"

[LauraQ]

You can just keep your mouth shut like you did if that makes you comfortable. Honestly, you won't change her mind by just talking to her over dinner about it. She will simply have to be set straight when she sees her IL's kids grow up normal and non-brainwashed LOL! And perhaps over the coming years as your children likewise show no signs of being "indoctrinated" (as if indoctrination *doesn't* happen in the PS LOL) she will lighten up even more. Sometimes our greatest critics are won over to be our staunchest defenders over time!

 

I think you got some good, honest insight into what a LOT of people HONESTLY think of HSers but don't say to us to our faces when they know we're HSers ;-) Fortunately, MOST people have enough manners to keep their opinions to themselves when they know we're "one of those" people. For those who don't, I'm sure you'll learn a few witty come-backs perfect for cutting their rudeness off as soon as it starts. Store them up in your memory now for next time ;-)

 

I think we have a tendency to judge other people's education choices too if we're honest with ourselves. Most of us have seen a dear friend/family with a child who is struggling SO hard in PS and learning such horrible lessons from other kids, and our hearts break, and we think this particular kid would be SO much better off in a HSing setting. We don't say so, and we certainly don't wholesale bash PS in general at dinner parties--but how much of that is because it's PC to bash HSers but UnPC to bash the PS system? Most of us still would never bash PS like some people feel justified in bashing HSers, but perhaps some of us would? Hard to say when we're on this side of it, kwim? Hopefully when she looks back on that careless statement after finding out about your choice, she'll feel silly and maybe even a little ashamed, and it will teach her to tame her tongue in the future.

[jvenice]

I think we have a tendency to judge other people's education choices too if we're honest with ourselves. Most of us have seen a dear friend/family with a child who is struggling SO hard in PS and learning such horrible lessons from other kids, and our hearts break, and we think this particular kid would be SO much better off in a HSing setting. We don't say so, and we certainly don't wholesale bash PS in general at dinner parties--but how much of that is because it's PC to bash HSers but UnPC to bash the PS system? Most of us still would never bash PS like some people feel justified in bashing HSers, but perhaps some of us would? Hard to say when we're on this side of it, kwim? Hopefully when she looks back on that careless statement after finding out about your choice, she'll feel silly and maybe even a little ashamed, and it will teach her to tame her tongue in the future.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[stripe]

We don't say so, and we certainly don't wholesale bash PS in general at dinner parties--but how much of that is because it's PC to bash HSers but UnPC to bash the PS system? Most of us still would never bash PS like some people feel justified in bashing HSers, but perhaps some of us would?

I really doubt most people spend much time bashing homeschooling at dinner parties. Why would it come up?

 

I certainly am not afraid to comment on the public school system. I am a product of public schools. I am actually a great advocate for wonderful public schools, more than anyone I know, and I have been my whole life! It turns out I know someone who now manages a huge conglomerate of charter schools, and I had a LONG argument with him, over many months, before he got involved in them, and he thought I was too idealistic with my goals for public schools. So there you are.

 

I know many people whose kids attend charter schools and private schools, who don't bat an eye if I say I'm homeschooling, and even they don't spend any time discussing public schools.

 

People are willing to opine about MANY other topics, however, about which I wish they would not.