Veritaserum Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 We got The Call tonight (he lives with us). We are praying for strength for him and comfort for the donor's family. I find myself unable to separate our joy over such an amazing gift of life from the sorrow another family is experiencing right now. I don't know if there is any way to express our thanks to them for this gift. There is obviously nothing that will replace their missing loved one. A thank you note hardly seems appropriate. :( Has anyone gone through this before? It feels surreal. On a lighter note, anybody got recommendations on interesting threads to read? It's going to be a long night (he won't be out of surgery until 6 am).... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fhjmom Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 I got a call a couple of hours ago that a dear friend's father was on his way to the hospital. He got the call that they had a donor heart for him tonight, too. I will add your FIL (and his donor's family) to the prayers I am sending up for my friend's father and his donor's family. (((HUGS!!))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 I am praying. :grouphug: The 'post-evangelical' thread was rather interesting.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 :grouphug: and prayers. I don't know how you thank someone in that situation but perhaps asking the nurses for ideas might help. They've seen so much of this they might have good insight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DB in NJ Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 We went through this a couple years ago. dh grew up with 2 best friends, closer than brothers to him. Spring of 2008, his friend T almost died while waiting for a liver transplant. We got the call at 1 AM that a new liver was available....an 18-year-old liver. Our joy was immediately replaced by overwhelming grief for the donor family. It felt almost selfish to be happy for our friend while others were suffering so... Then in June of that same year, his other friend, J, was killed in a motorcycle accident. T was alive and well, having been deathly ill for so long, but now J was dead. Unbearable grief and pain and anguish! But, J was an organ donor. They were able to harvest so much from him that he either saved or improved over 200 lives. TWO HUNDRED! What a blessing!! I have to tell you that we truly thought we'd never be able to feel joy again, but knowing that such GOOD came from something so tragic was A COMFORT --I honestly can't stress strongly enough how very comforting it was. I'll be praying for both families tonight. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Wow, exciting and sad for the other family. Prayers for a speedy recovery!! :) What a Merry Christmas for you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 Thank you all for the kind thoughts and prayers. The latest update I have is that the donor heart looks good and FIL is in the OR. I'm hoping for more news soon. I hope I'm right in assuming that no news is good news. We went through this a couple years ago. dh grew up with 2 best friends, closer than brothers to him. Spring of 2008, his friend T almost died while waiting for a liver transplant. We got the call at 1 AM that a new liver was available....an 18-year-old liver. Our joy was immediately replaced by overwhelming grief for the donor family. It felt almost selfish to be happy for our friend while others were suffering so... Then in June of that same year, his other friend, J, was killed in a motorcycle accident. T was alive and well, having been deathly ill for so long, but now J was dead. Unbearable grief and pain and anguish! But, J was an organ donor. They were able to harvest so much from him that he either saved or improved over 200 lives. TWO HUNDRED! What a blessing!! I have to tell you that we truly thought we'd never be able to feel joy again, but knowing that such GOOD came from something so tragic was A COMFORT --I honestly can't stress strongly enough how very comforting it was. I'll be praying for both families tonight. :grouphug: Thank you for sharing your story. It brings us comfort. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyniffrec Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 We got The Call tonight (he lives with us). We are praying for strength for him and comfort for the donor's family. I find myself unable to separate our joy over such an amazing gift of life from the sorrow another family is experiencing right now. I don't know if there is any way to express our thanks to them for this gift. There is obviously nothing that will replace their missing loved one. A thank you note hardly seems appropriate. :( Has anyone gone through this before? It feels surreal. On a lighter note, anybody got recommendations on interesting threads to read? It's going to be a long night (he won't be out of surgery until 6 am).... I don't think you can contact the donor family. They have to initiate it. How is he doing? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 He is still in surgery. They have removed his heart, his pacemaker, and his heart pump. The new heart is in. They are sewing everything up now. The surgery was supposed to be done 2.5 hours ago. I hope everything is ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 It's really, really hard. I have a friend who had heart/lung transplants early this year. I had prayed for her strength and recovery for a long time. If she had not had the transplants, she probably would have died in 3-6 months. But I could never quite bring myself to pray for donor organs for her, because that would be praying for someone else's death. I have to say, though, that I am very grateful for the young woman's family who donated these organs so that my dear and gracious friend could live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 I hope the surgery went well and that he will be ok. It's so hard not to panic when the surgery takes longer than expected. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberia Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 I'm caregiver for a friend of mine who lives with us. She got a double lung transplant last year. I had to remind her that the donor was going to die anyway. She wasn't praying for someone's death; she was waiting for someone who had the courage to donate. You can't change the death; the donor would have died no matter what. But, you can appreciate the donor, or the donor's family, who was able to think beyond their grief and think of others who would benefit from their passing. Yes, they are in shock and grief, but they are also remarkable people to be able to make the decision to donate. My friend was able to write a thank-you note to the donor's family, and it was delivered by the transplant social worker. The donor's family has complete privacy and may never give a response, or they may take years to respond. They are on their own journey of grief and recovery and I wish them well. But we still rejoice in the new chance at life that they gave. This is a most precious gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Yes, do write them a thank-you note! They will probably read it over and over and cherish it forever! I know I would feel that way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 This waiting is so hard! Most recent news is that they are almost done with the surgery.*As far as I know, things are going smoothly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Wow, it's taking such a long time. You must be exhausted. :grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 He is finally out of surgery and is doing ok! :) Yes, I am very tired, but relieved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 :party: Thanks for sharing the good news! I hope he recovers quickly and that the transplant is a complete success for many years to come! Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyK Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 My young cousin died recently at 23, and was a donor. I know his parents have found it meaningful to contact the recipients. He was a very special young man and I think they want to tell others about him, and his gift. My guess is that the process may vary by state law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 He is finally out of surgery and is doing ok! :) Yes, I am very tired, but relieved. Yeah! I'm so glad. Hope you get some rest and he has a smooth recovery! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 Thank you all for the support. He is in the ICU now. He is communicating with thumbs up/down. One problem is that he is still bleeding. They may have to go back in to fix it. :-/ Let's hope it resolves on its own! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Praying and thank you for the update.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Praying and thank you for the update.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Same here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted December 23, 2010 Share Posted December 23, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted December 23, 2010 Author Share Posted December 23, 2010 The bleeding seems to have taken care of itself. Whew! The kids made cards for him today. My 6yo drew a card with a broken heart next to a whole heart. I guess she understood my explanation. :) My 4yo started crying when I told her that FIL was in the hospital again. He was in the hospital for all of October and November. We are so not ready houseguests tomorrow and I haven't even started wrapping presents. :eek: My brother is bringing what he has been hinting might be his future wife. I've never met her and would rather not have her first impression be a messy house.... Houseguests stress me out at the best of times. Add Christmas and a heart transplant and I'm :svengo:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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