shinyhappypeople Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 IRL, do you have friends you can talk to about things that interest you? I have many, many acquaintances (mostly parents of the DDs friends, but still...) and a large, loving extended family (in-laws). I enjoy these people, think they're great, funny and am grateful that we have one another. But. I have no one outside of DH to really talk to. If I want to talk about (non-Twilight or HP) books, history, philosophy, non-Christian religions there's no one. Well, maybe my FIL. He's a completely unassuming, blue collar guy, but is easily one of the most brilliant men I've ever known. However, we're not close. So, nevermind. Just feeling a little sad. I don't like being known as weird or into "boring" things like history or literature. Especially because those things are NOT boring!!!! I love to learn. I wish I had friends IRL who felt the same way. Does anyone else ever feel this way? Do you have people you're allowed to be 'smart' around without awkwardness? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Maybe you could look for a book club? One that doesn't read Twilight and Harry Potter? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 I know exactly what you mean. I have one very dear friend, the mom of my dd's best friend, that I see quite often. But although I can share many things with her "feeling-wise", she is very conservative about certain things and is not someone you could debate/discuss philosophy with, or anything like that. I have one other friend I can have those discussions with, but unfortunately she has a very busy schedule and so do I, so I only get to see and talk to her about every couple of months. Sometimes I do feel very lonely, and like if I had the conversations I would really like to have, with the people I see everyday, they would definitely think I was a freak. One woman I know from church happened to see a book I had in my car, "Stroke of Insight" written by a neuroscientist about what her experience of having a stroke was like. She said, "Why do you have that book?" I said, "Well, it was just an interesting subject to me." She said, "Yes, but why do you have it, did someone you know have a stroke?" "Uh, no, it was just an interesting subject to me, I'm very interested in the way the brain works...." Awkward end to conversation. She looked at me like I was...a freak! So yes, I feel your pain. For me, these boards are a godsend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 Only my husband... and my mom when we can talk... and on some things, my dad. But, on the whole, no. Kinda lonely existence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 20, 2010 Share Posted December 20, 2010 I'm very blessed. SpecialMama is one of my best friends, and we usually see each other weekly, and talk loads in btwn. My other best friend has known me since I was 14, and despite living across country, we're still as close as ever. I have other good friends that I've never met face to face, but that I talk to on the phone and online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorganClassicalPrep Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Do I ever feel this way? All. the. time. Do I have people I can be "smart" around? Not really. My best friend and I have many, many conversations about religion, politics, philosophy, etc. but, when it comes to literature and history (two of my biggest loves!) she isn't interested. Plus... for the most part, we share very, very similar religious/philosophical beliefs. I love it, but I also enjoy a good debate sometimes. Other than that, I am sort of the oddball among my friends. The strange one with all the books. And on campus... I'm in a weird middle spot. I'm surrounded by 18, 19, 20 year old kids and professors. The other students in my classes are just too young and irresponsible for me to relate with, but the professors (who I have much more in common with) are supposed to be in a position of authority over me, and so the relationship could only go so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Yes,:D but we can only talk by phone now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 No, not really. Although I'm training ds in this regard, we have wonderful discussions. My dh is either tired or we're talking about the house or other life stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 :grouphug: Nope, I am in the EXACT same position as you. I am a very nice, outgoing, fun person and I cannot for the life of me make a decent friend. I make ones with jerks that walk all over me, or the "needy-i-gotta-lie-and-make-people-feel-sorry-for-me" kind. I would really love a good friend more than anything. I do have one, she just lives 5 hours away and is busy all the time and hates to talk on the phone. When I visit her though I am in heaven :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saja1029 Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Same here....I bore my DH to death, I'm sorry to say. But if you can't talk to him about what matters to you...then who can you talk to?? But, wish I had some gal-pals too. I haven't really clicked with any of the homeschooling moms in the group I am in....so it's just me, myself and I :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 Yup!! Wish you were here! Sorry :( I have just a few IRF that I can talk to :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 I can talk about what interests me with dh and dc...I am so grateful for them! Dh has men he can have deep conversations with and I end up chatting with the wives. :glare: I'd rather be in on the men's conversation but it never works out that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 IRL, do you have friends you can talk to about things that interest you? I talk to myself. Does that count? Heh. :blush: I have one close friend, and she lives several states away. We don't talk on the phone much. We email occasionally, and we've started getting together once a year. We're just the kind of friends who can talk up a storm when we get together, even if it is once a year and we haven't really talked much in between. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted December 22, 2010 Author Share Posted December 22, 2010 It's good to not be alone :) So, how do we remedy this? Any ideas? Do you have people you're allowed to be 'smart' around without awkwardness? I regret how I phrased this. I just wasn't sure how else to explain what I was thinking. It's not so much about being a certain level of "smart," but being academically inclined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 My sister is who I talk to. She doesn't live near me though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OregonNative Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 IRL, do you have friends you can talk to about things that interest you? No-My DH is pretty much the only IRL person I talk to. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grace'smom Posted December 22, 2010 Share Posted December 22, 2010 Maybe you could try to start a "classic literature" book club at your library. The people interested in such a club would be more academic. And if not, maybe you could make friends with the librarians. I bet they are great for intellectual conversations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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